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Active: 32288 users

Best short story ever - Asimov

Blogs > Dknight
Post a Reply
Dknight
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
United States5223 Posts
January 04 2008 17:15 GMT
#1
How It Happened by Issac Asimov from Winds of Change


+ Show Spoiler +

My brother began to dictate in his best oratorical style, the one which has the tribes hanging on his words.

"In the beginning," he said, "exactly fifteen point two billion years ago, there was a big bang and the Universe--"

But I had stopped writing. "Fifteen billion years ago?" I said incredulously.

"Absolutely," he said. "I'm inspired."

"I don't question your inspiration," I said. (I had better not. He's three years younger than I am, but I don't try questioning his inspiration. Neither does anyone else or there's hell to pay.) "But are you going to tell the story of the Creation over a period of fifteen billion years?"

"I have to," said my brother. "That's how long it took. I have it all in here," he tapped his forehead, "and it's on the very highest authority."

By now I had put down my stylus. "Do you know the price of papyrus?" I said.

"What?" (He may be inspired but I frequently noticed that the inspiration didn't include such sordid matters as the price of papyrus.)

I said, "Suppose you describe one million years of events to each roll of papyrus. That means you'll have to fill fifteen thousand rolls. You'll have to talk long enough to fill them and you know that you begin to stammer after a while. I'll have to write enough to fill them and my fingers will fall off. And even if we can afford all that papyrus and you have the voice and I have the strength, who's going to copy it? We've got to have a guarantee of a hundred copies before we can publish and without that where will we get royalties from?"

My brother thought awhile. He said, "You think I ought to cut it down?"

"Way down," I said, "if you expect to reach the public."

"How about a hundred years?" he said.

"How about six days?" I said.

He said horrified, "You can't squeeze Creation into six days."

I said, "This is all the papyrus I have. What do you think?"

"Oh, well," he said, and began to dictate again, "In the beginning-- Does it have to be six days, Aaron?"

I said, firmly, "Six days, Moses."


*****
WGT<3. Former CL/NW head admin.
Snet *
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States3573 Posts
January 04 2008 17:37 GMT
#2
you don't read many short stories do you?
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
January 04 2008 17:39 GMT
#3
Haha, that was really good. I love that writing style.
Yuljan
Profile Blog Joined March 2004
2196 Posts
January 04 2008 17:48 GMT
#4
seems more like one of those jokes on the joke page in magazines.
Mandalor
Profile Blog Joined February 2003
Germany2362 Posts
January 04 2008 18:00 GMT
#5
haha great read.
thx dknight!
XCetron
Profile Joined November 2006
5225 Posts
January 04 2008 18:45 GMT
#6
not "best" per say but it was good.
niteReloaded
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Croatia5281 Posts
January 04 2008 20:13 GMT
#7
So now its moses who wrote the bible?
3 Lions
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States3705 Posts
January 04 2008 21:21 GMT
#8
moses rote part of the Bible...
Mindcrime
Profile Joined July 2004
United States6899 Posts
January 04 2008 22:05 GMT
#9
On January 05 2008 06:21 3 Lions wrote:
moses rote part of the Bible...


Tradition says that Moses wrote the entirety of the Torah - the first five books.

Tradition is wrong.
That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.
Physician *
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States4146 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-01-04 22:21:43
January 04 2008 22:15 GMT
#10
was funny anyway lol & and on the seventh day they rested...
http://www.vexen.co.uk/religion/christianity_7daycreation.html
"I have beheld the births of negative-suns and borne witness to the entropy of entire realities...."
Narrator
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States868 Posts
January 06 2008 06:51 GMT
#11
Haha, great read.
Divinek
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Canada4045 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-01-06 08:34:52
January 06 2008 08:32 GMT
#12
That doesnt really look like normal asimov style, but that's gold so it seems logical that it could be him. Btw it's Isaac, unless that's a different person.
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Oh goodness me, FOX tv where do you get your sight? Can't you keep track, the puck is black. That's why the ice is white.
gLyo
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
United States2410 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-01-06 08:36:25
January 06 2008 08:33 GMT
#13
Cute story.

Reminded me a bit another Asimov story called "The Last Question," which has a similar style but is a bit more fleshed out.
http://benisonline.com
lololol
Profile Joined February 2006
5198 Posts
January 06 2008 09:14 GMT
#14
I generally dislike short stories, but Asimov has some really great books, the most distinguishable of which is the original trilogy of "The Foundation", which is just an awesome read, it even won the only Hugo award for trilogies and that's over the Lord of the Rings
I'll call Nada.
Dknight
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
United States5223 Posts
January 06 2008 22:14 GMT
#15
Vegso, was just a typo. Its the real Asimov and its one of his stories from one of the shortstories books: Winds of Pleague.

XCetron, yeah, its not the best but at the time when I posted this, I stumbled back upon it, and I was so glad to have found it, I needed to share it.
WGT<3. Former CL/NW head admin.
BottleAbuser
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Korea (South)1888 Posts
January 07 2008 01:42 GMT
#16
Awesomeness. Making fun of religion and management in one blow!
Compilers are like boyfriends, you miss a period and they go crazy on you.
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