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Today, i was invited by this girl i like, her name is yilda (quite a "unique" name haha). Im starting to really like her. But i cant make up my mind about what path to follow. I can either make a move clearly putting my intentions to the table, or i can make some low-profile moves and see how she responds.
A big problem here is that she has already a boyfriend and has been with him about 9 months. My friend told me that the relationship wouldnt last very long (one "point" is that she has had lots of "long term" relationships). I think she likes me, at least thats what i get from her body language.
Everytime im around she comes near me, even if i didnt come to see her. She laughs a lot with me, we flirt/filrt w/e the word is, etc, but still, im hestitant to act, you know... woman often down know what they want and act very weird.
i hope to get a pic of her, so you can evaluate whether or not she's worth ( i'd give her a 9 ).
obligated girl pic:
she's one of my favourites 
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Snet
United States3573 Posts
we flirt/filrt w/e the word is
lol
i'd say go for it, but then again ive never had a girlfriend so dno how valid my advice is
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hahahah OMG snet I remember reading that, but didn't know you wrote it 
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no offense but you're kind of a prick here
9 months isn't a fling, that's a full blown relationship and you're going to try and sweep in and fuck up someone else's love life to try and attempt to better your own. better yet, you're going to try and date a girl that (if she does with you) fucks around on her boyfriends. and i can promise you she'll do it to you too if she does it to him.
then you have to take into consideration her bf. do you know him or his friends? could he/they kick your ass? is some probably not so memorable pussy worth getting your ass kicked? ionooooo
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Holy shit for a second I thought the pic was of the girl in question O_o
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Never slowplay a pot.
You are young you have the time and here are the outcomes of your possible choices:
slowplay:
1. she indeed like you much but goes well with her boyfriend time can only get their relationship stronger welcome il the goodfriend club. A club you don't want to be a memeber.
2. she indeed like you and this is not going very well with his boyfriend. You may very well be the confident and join the goodfriend club that way too.
3. you were wrong she doesn't like you... over
go for it:
1. she indeed like you much but goes well with her boyfriend. Tough choice for her but she has to take it. Even if it doesn't pay right now time passes relationships gets better or worse you may have your chance either now or later.
2. she indeed like you and this is not going very well with his boyfriend. GG
3. you were wrong she doesn't like you... over
This isn't a tough choice. The tough part is to get the right time to go for it. It must be soon but it must also have a special thing in her feelings towards you.
Edit: And having been the goodfriend so many times I know this is fucking horrible to hear it. It is 100x better to have her assume her responsability in this than hearing shit about deep friendship and stuff like that.
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women dont know what they want
you have to tell them.
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On December 04 2007 08:17 AmorVincitOmnia wrote:
then you have to take into consideration her bf. do you know him or his friends? could he/they kick your ass? is some probably not so memorable pussy worth getting your ass kicked? ionooooo
he's bigger than me, so i might get my ass kicked, but he aint going away clean haha :p
i dont know, she's pretty and i really like her personality. I dont know her bf except from a pic, and nor his bf friend. I might sound like a prick, hence the dilema :p
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On December 04 2007 08:35 RtS)Night[Mare wrote:Show nested quote +On December 04 2007 08:17 AmorVincitOmnia wrote:
then you have to take into consideration her bf. do you know him or his friends? could he/they kick your ass? is some probably not so memorable pussy worth getting your ass kicked? ionooooo he's bigger than me, so i might get my ass kicked, but he aint going away clean haha :p i dont know, she's pretty and i really like her personality. I dont know her bf except from a pic, and nor his bf friend. I might sound like a prick, hence the dilema :p
dont be bm, she has a bf.
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On December 04 2007 08:15 BuGzlToOnl wrote:hahahah OMG snet I remember reading that, but didn't know you wrote it
rofl i remember that thread, good times rofl, some funny stories (big boy with small bros monkey) GG ROFL
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United States22883 Posts
Bf really settles it - don't. If he's a total douche bag, it's ok to tell her but don't try to fuck it up, especially if he's a good guy and they're just in a rough patch.
And boudiou is also right. Don't get into close friend territory cause then you're fucked 99% of the time (or not getting fucked as it were.)
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On December 04 2007 10:15 Jibba wrote:
Bf really settles it - don't. If he's a total douche bag, it's ok to tell her but don't try to fuck it up, especially if he's a good guy and they're just in a rough patch.
Well I dunno guys this just feels noble and stuff but really if she happens to break the relationship this wouldn't have been helped.
He doesn't know him at all it isn't really acting badly in my opinion. Although the best way would be obviously to have the girl breaking before doing anything but this is quite hard to set up.
I haven't faced this case however I have no experience here.
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On December 04 2007 10:15 Jibba wrote:
Bf really settles it - don't. If he's a total douche bag, it's ok to tell her but don't try to fuck it up, especially if he's a good guy and they're just in a rough patch.
And boudiou is also right. Don't get into close friend territory cause then you're fucked 99% of the time (or not getting fucked as it were.)
yea besides if her and the b/f break up, def go for it. Otherwise you end up too close and have awkward sex;x
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On December 04 2007 08:17 AmorVincitOmnia wrote:
no offense but you're kind of a prick here
This is a logical conclusion, based on many common sense (but wrong) assumptions which I will clear up for everyone:
9 months isn't a fling, that's a full blown relationship and you're going to try and sweep in and fuck up someone else's love life to try and attempt to better your own.
Yes, but it's the girl's choice too. If she goes for it, it's hers and his love life too, and you shouldn't let some stale 9 months old thing waiting to be toppled over, stand in the way of true love, or at least tempting enough sex for the girl to go for it.
better yet, you're going to try and date a girl that (if she does with you) fucks around on her boyfriends. and i can promise you she'll do it to you too if she does it to him.
True, except any girl really would. Don't be fooled.
then you have to take into consideration her bf. do you know him or his friends? could he/they kick your ass? is some probably not so memorable pussy worth getting your ass kicked? ionooooo
Buy a gun, then no emo fag is going to roid rage on you, cos you got "self defense" on your side. Who cares what the competition thinks after they have lost?
Now, about your problem. You are right that she probably doesn't know what she thinks either, and you don't want that to change until after you've made her orgasm a couple times. So be careful what kind of moves you make. I say, try to push the hot, but don't bring it into words, keep her able to believe it's innocent until she can't resist. If this doesn't happen, then it wasn't meant to be, but I think that's the right attitude.
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Eh, if you think she's really into you, I say go for it. The thing is, is she REALLY expressing interest in you, or are you kind stuck in a crush on her and maybe not thinking straight?
I will disagree with others here. Relationships go flat sometimes, and in those situations people often do not want to simply end the relationship, and what happens is it just goes flat and someone else comes into the picture and snatches up the girl (or guy.) So their relationship could be kind of stalled and you could simply be the guy to come in and pick up this woman. It sounds like you are all teenagers and this isn't a marriage or family situation, so who cares? Just be respectful. If she prefers you to the other guy, then that's just how it is. No guilt or shame there. Like I said, relationships can go flat, go sour, and relationships certainly end, all the time. That's just part of life. The key is that you just not do anything dishonest or shady. If she likes you, and wants to be with you, that's her call. No one should judge you for anything.
So I say go ahead and talk to her about it. It sounds like you guys have the flirtation thing going on pretty good, so just build off of that.
Men and women BOTH often do not know what they want, but you'll never know for sure what this girl's deal is unless you ask or otherwise pursue her. Just be respectful and whatever happens will be a learning experience. And always remember, there are a million women out there you could be happy and satisfied with, so if this one doesn't work out, it's no big deal.
Nick / Inky
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I disagree with Luggy. I think honesty and directness are preferable to any kind of "games," even if people willingly get sucked into the "game." To be totally fair though, I think it is good to do things that build attraction - you know, straight up flirtation and whatnot, but at the end of the day, you want to be straight forward about it all. Personally, I think directness shows integrity and strength. IT shows you respect her and you are confident in yourself.
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And Snet, your time is coming, brotha! For now, just focus on talking to women and getting used to that. Look them in the eye, and keep a humorous vibe going on - I know you have it in you, because you are a pretty funny dude. When you get one that seems to enjoy talking with you, invite them to join you for coffee or... whatever it is that highschoolers do (I never went to HS, or had A GF until age 22, but in adulthood, coffee or tea seem pretty good.)
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[QUOTE]On December 04 2007 11:19 lugggy wrote:
[QUOTE]On December 04 2007 08:17 AmorVincitOmnia wrote:
[quote]Yes, but it's the girl's choice too. If she goes for it, it's hers and his love life too, and you shouldn't let some stale 9 months old thing waiting to be toppled over, stand in the way of true love, or at least tempting enough sex for the girl to go for it.[/quote]
you know we're living in a society here? it's not our mission to fuck over people we don't know because it benefits us and we can. this is some girl he hardly knows, a crush? a crush vs. a 9 month relationship. and who said it was stale? do you know the couple?
[quote]True, except any girl really would. Don't be fooled.[/quote]
most of my gfs, if they ever had a problem with someone flirting with them at work or something would let me know. not so that i could go to her job and "fuck his shit up", but because i've always dated girls that knew it wasn't necessary to hide shit like that, and if i found out from someone else it would be x10 worse. point is, no, i don't think any girl would do it.
[quote]Buy a gun, then no emo fag is going to roid rage on you, cos you got "self defense" on your side. Who cares what the competition thinks after they have lost?[/quote]
what the fuck? you're willing to kill someone over a fucking girl you have a crush on?
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Well, maybe i should be straight forward(maybe not that straight-forward haha) and ask her whats going... i wont lose anything. And at least she'll tell me im just a friend / she likes me too, and make a decision from her awnser? I think at least that way i'll know what land im stepping in.
if im just a friend what the heck, keep things smooth and fun. Otherwise i could ask her whats up with the situation. I mean, if she's tired of her bf, it isnt my fault is it? its not like she's staying forever with him. on the other hand if she still likes her bf but at the same time likes me, i could play accordingly and not make any serious move, but at the same time, fining another girl just to let her know im not waiting forever. What do you think, fair enough?
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I agree, RtS)Night[Mare. Good plan all around.
Yep, I think being direct is the way to go. My personal experience is that women TEND to be surprised and relieved by my directness. They don't expect it, and you just kind of cut right to the point, in a friendly, compassionate way. There is no shame in liking someone - it's actually a really cool thing. Just don't come off like you NEED her and that your entire life is about her (I think that is a trap some guys can get into.) I think it's easy to get bogged down in mind games, when just simply saying what you think is the best way. However, flirtation and that stuff - indirect as it may be - is very good. Keep that going. Keep things pleasurable, whether it's joking around, or having a deep talk.
Don't let all this player stuff that people talk about here fool you. Just be confident in yourself, love yourself, and be direct and honest with other people. If she tells you no, just calmly accept it like it's no big deal. I don't understand some of the people here talking about how bad it is to "just be a friend." That's ridiculous! We can all use more good friends, and something else, if you have a nice social network, it WILL help your romance life.
Sounds like you are on the right track. And yep, millions of other girls out there if this one don't work out. The real trick in romance is remembering that even though you want *this particular girl*, there are many other wonderful women out there that could please you just as much. So keep positive.
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No offense dude. Unless his bf is some hardcore gangsta then you should not puss out just cuz he's bigger and can kick your ass.
i say just go ahead and pop it. in my experience, females usually knows that you like her way before you realise it. either way, she's got an answer for you so what's to lose?
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On December 04 2007 17:49 haduken wrote:
No offense dude. Unless his bf is some hardcore gangsta then you should not puss out just cuz he's bigger and can kick your ass.
i say just go ahead and pop it. in my experience, females usually knows that you like her way before you realise it. either way, she's got an answer for you so what's to lose?
Leaving another man's woman alone is not "puss"ing out, as you put it, it is more like having manner. you'd be pretty pissed if some guy was making a move on your girl right?
Girls in a relationship are not "fair game" and you really shouldn't think of it that way.
But i do agree with the second part, nightmare you have nothing to lose by finding out what she thinks of you.
Besides, you americans jump from partner to partner so quickly... she just might dump the guy
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Scrubs always lose because they are imposing rules on themself that they wish other ppl would follow. Ask yourself this, would you pass up on true love because the girl was already taken in some relationship she doesnt really want to keep?
As for directness, that only works on girls with male brains. You are shooting yourself in the foot betting on such a rare bird.
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Lugggy, I have no problem at all getting women, and I tend towards directness (although, like I say, I also flirt and keep things enjoyable to the extent that I can.) It seems possible to me that you read too much of that PUA stuff online.
Me? I just keep a positive attitude and treat everyone with respect, and at the end of the day, I have no problem attracting women. It's true that some women will not like my approach, or like something about me, but that's true of anyone - that's just how romance is. There are millions of women who would like me and be attracted to me, so I just focus on finding those.
No need for a cynical approach to women (I notice so many of the PUA people have such nasty attitudes towards women.) All you gotta do is be a positive, confident person, and someone is going to like you.
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Never ever ever EVER date a girl who will cheat on her current bf to get with you. There is no exceptions to this rule.
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I'm sure you believe it's your directness that does the trick but another guy trying to follow this advice is not going to be doing the same things that are probably working for you. And we're not talking about "able to get women", we're talking about not blowing it with this one particular girl in question. You can be direct after she's more pot committed that's all i'm saying. Otherwise you don't need to "blow your load" of directness prematurely.
I'm not saying to be dishonest or to slow play, I'm saying to not get too wordy too fast because that guy's words might not be best for that girl's words and you want to maximize the incentive for her to work through that, before you make the issue possible, if at all possible. He isn't necessarily going to word things the same as you Inky and he might have something different to be direct about than you, so I think my advice will work in more cases. Now if you mean directness in some other sense then fine, but other people in this thread have been saying to just "talk it out" which is bullshit advice for a first attempt at starting a particular relationship. You save that for last ditch or after it's started.
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Calgary25980 Posts
On December 05 2007 00:35 Hawk wrote:
Never ever ever EVER date a girl who will cheat on her current bf to get with you. There is no exceptions to this rule.
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Luggy: maybe we agree... I do believe that it's weird to just go up to a woman and say "let's have a relationship - what do you think?"
I am more about having a fun conversation... picking on her a bit, joking around, getting the laughs going, or else an engaging talk. Then I tend to just hit them with my directness "I wan't to kiss you." Or "I want to hold your hand." Or you can just hug them or kiss them (even more direct), but I've been told by girls that they appreciated how I was direct and how I asked them first.
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Also, the deal is, unless you are way inexperienced (which is ok - we all start that way) you can tell when attraction is happening. When the attraction is going, you can be direct about it.
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there's a party this friday. Maybe if she doesnt bring her boyfriend / goes to the party, i can talk about it. Hoping for good results. I might get some info from her friends at least. They all like me 
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Okay inky to me that is fine, those are moves, they will go for that. That's an okay use for words at any stage, whatever feels like it may work. But I would still say to not force it, to leave it for "last", i.e. if it can happen some other way it's much more likely to get past some defenses.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://www.alevosia.com/magazine/archives/Keira_KNIGHTLEY_chanel.jpg)
