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In one month, I will move from Texas to Belgium, and I will most likely never return to the United States.
On 12 December 2000, the Supreme Court of the United States terminated a recount of Florida's votes for president. In a 5-4 decision on party lines, the court gave the presidency to George W. Bush, and less than a year later, we were at war and the post-WWII party that had defined American capitalism and excess came to an abrupt and permanent end. On 16 June 2015, Donald J. Trump announced his candidacy for president, and the forces of decades of conservative lobbying, Christian fundamentalism, and fascist recruiting killed off any mirage of America being a country based on freedom, justice, and equality. On 24 June 2022, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade and many Americans suddenly realized that the war had come home.
When you cross a black hole's event horizon, time ceases to exist. Your body gets torn limb from limb, cell from cell, atom from atom, until several infinites later, your body ha been reunited with the cosmic dust it was formed out of. While some physical manifestation of you still exists, your past, present, and futures collapse onto one another into one perpetual scream. You see infinitely many lifetimes born from every decision you could've made or not made and are forced to reckon with seeing the life of your dreams fade away and be replaced with a nightmare, ad infinitum, tormenting you until you've gone insane. But just as suddenly as your hell began, it ends, and all that's left of you is your soul, the pure essence of you as a human being, and then you enter it.
When I entered a black hole, I was greeted with the void. No sound, no light, nothing. I was, for the first time in my life, truly alone, despite my many feelings of loneliness before. Or so I thought. The voice of Death spoke my name and it echoed around me and inside me. I turned fearful, then sighed in resignation, accepting that I was dead. Or so I thought, once again. Death started to take a physical form in front of me and told me that I was in fact, not dead. When I heard Their voice, it was not one of malice, or evil, or temptation. It was gentle, soft, and tranquil. I told Death how terrified I was of Them, and They told me that I had a fundamental misunderstanding of Them. They are not some malevolent spectre, haunting and stalking people, trying to lure them into recklessness and death. They just simply are. No more, no less, and then I understood Them. Death told me to remember what I had seen during my infinite lifetimes and I promised Them that I would make the most out of the rest of my life, until I was finally reunited with Them.
But I should not be alive right now, despite my new lease on life. On Valentine's Day 2022, I had an unintentional drug overdose in a nondescript hotel room in Orange County, California, resulting in me developing severe serotonin syndrome. I rapidly lost consciousness, had a seizure that jolted me awake, then nearly choked on my own vomit a few seconds later. Whether by G-d's mercy, or kismet, or the pure chaos of the universe, that seizure woke me up just before I choked to death, and I survived while so many others haven't. A true undeserved miracle.
The most consequential day of my political radicalization was on 17 July 2014, when Eric Garner was murdered by NYPD. I watched the video of him saying "I Can't Breathe" over and over while the life was choked out of him for the "crime" of selling loose cigarettes, and his dying words have never left my mind since then. Over the next month, I confronted the nature of my upbringing in small-town Texas where it was deeply ingrained in me to always respect police and that they were just doing what they had to do, and that if they murdered someone, regardless of the circumstances, it was justified. I started reading a bunch of writings and speeches that Black activists on Twitter were recommending, my first being the autobiography of Malcolm X, arguably still one of the biggest influences on me politically. From there was a deep dive into the life of one of the greatest figures of the 20th century, Fred Hampton, who I believe would've completely changed the face of America if he wasn't assassinated by the FBI. The works of Angela Davis and Assata Shakur helped to open my eyes to Black feminist perspectives that I greatly support and advocate for to this day.
For the several years that followed, I rarely discussed my political beliefs in any serious capacity online because I never could get people to see the warning signs that came from the response to the 2008 recession and realize that we were heading into a late-capitalist hell. I watched as far-right forces coalesced in the GOP and the Democrats utterly failed the country in so many ways, but no one wanted to see what was going to happen. As I steadily became more militant in my beliefs, many millennials and Gen Zers around my age were experiencing firsthand the absolute nightmare American society had become with student loans, wage stagnation, healthcare, and so much more, but instead of fighting, they gave into nihilism, despair, misanthropy, and apathy, all combining into doomerism. Our generation was going to go silently, never achieving a better world. The Black Lives Matter movement probably was one of my only glimmers of hope during the 2010s, but the GOP and Dems swiftly came down to stop any meaningful change to policing occurring. It truly drove the point home that the liberals will always side with the far-right over the progressives because ultimately, the liberals with all the power and money benefit from a far-right government because they get to push for fundraising while knowing that their massive wealth compared to the average American will never be touched.
When the anti-transgender legislation and societal forces started spreading in 2019, none of us knew what to do. As things got worse and worse over the next three years, we were completely alone. The Dems never did anything noteworthy to help us while the GOP dehumanized us and stripped us of rights across the country. The only queer organizations and advocacy groups that cared about us were trans-focused ones. It wasn't until Florida's Don't Say Gay bill was being pushed that the queer orgs actually started fighting back. To them, we were expendable. They cared more about cis gay men not being able to donate blood than trans people not being allowed to exist. We kept sounding the alarm bells about the broader implications of what attacking us could mean, and no one listened. For decades, trans people had existed in a dark forest, intentionally not being seen or heard, because the moment we would be spotted, we would be labelled an existential threat and target for elimination by overwhelming forces that we had no chance of defeating.
When Roe v Wade was overturned, it completely changed the mood of nearly everyone I know, myself included. At this point, all of my friends and close associates knew I was extremely far-left and I had countless furious people reaching out to me to ask things like how to make Molotov cocktails, how to force change when no politicians want it to happen, and the nature and morals of political violence. My go-to quote for them was by the legendary Kwame Ture: "In order for nonviolence to work, your opponent must have a conscience. The United States has none." No group of oppressed people in the United States were ever handed their rights without violence, and it seemed many people finally realized that simple truth.
If you have a million people ready to die for your cause, you are going to fail. You can send unit after unit of people to fight and die, but it will not make a difference to the neo-Nazis and fascists in power. If you want to win, you have to be willing to kill quickly and kill repeatedly. To them, we are not human. To them, we are merely vermin to be squashed, and I am going to treat them in kind. They have long lost the capability to be shown the error of their ways, and I am not going to go the way my ancestors did, killed by the Nazi scum. If I can secure a better future for trans people in America and the world, even if it meant sacrificing my freedom or my life, I will do it. After all, I shouldn't even be alive. I am not going to let trans joy be eradicated by these monsters. If they say we're not human, then I'm going to show them how not human I can get.
That was my thought process on the weekend of 24 June 2022. The week since then has been sobering. I came to realize while talking with cis people that nearly all don't have the conviction to die or kill, and that is not something I would ever ask of someone. The trans community can band together and arm ourselves, but very few people will fight with us. If I decide to actually get violent with the fascists, it's going to cause the rapid destruction of trans people across America. As it stands, I don't see a way forward for me as a trans person in America, and I don't want to die for nothing.
I don't know what the future has in store for transgender people in the United States, but it looks horrifying. I fully expect a genocide to occur against us here and that it's already started. I live every moment of my life thinking that I'm going to lose the people here I love to horrific violence and society at large will encourage it or simply not care. And I get to flee. I get to leave the United States, move to Belgium, and have a job there. I do not deserve this. There is no special quality I have that makes me more worthy of being safe than any other trans person. It's pure luck. I am going to leave in a cowardly way, and I will be a worse person for it. I have effectively abandoned my community to die at the hands of overwhelming forces we cannot hope to win against while I save my own skin. I have benefitted from life without doing anything to earn it.
At the end of the day, I just hope we survive, and I hope all trans people can endure. I decided to join a political party for the first time in my life: PTB-PVDA, the Workers' Party of Belgium, which is a Marxist party that I think I can do a lot of good campaigning and advocating for. Maybe by working with them, I can ensure a better future in some way, but right now, things are bleak. I'm going to try to make the most of the extension of life I was given, but it is hollow, and the guilt I have will stay with me for the rest of my life.
 
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Well, welcome to Europe, neighbour 
I expect your "far-left" opinions (according to Texas standards) to be considered more "center-left" in Belgium. So your voice is more likely to be heard. I hope things work out for you!
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With inflation at 40 year highs, gas prices at record highs and still increasing plus worrying signals of impending recession it’s hard to see the Democrats doing well in the midterms or 2024.Bidens continuing slide in approval ratings shows this.It’s likely the Republicans will control the Supreme Court for many years to come.
Good luck in Belgium and I’m guessing many liberals will be following your lead in leaving the country.
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I think one of the important things to consider about Malcom X is that he eventually failed to create the change he wished to see, while the peaceful protest eventually succeeded in making a change.
That being said the USA is a system that has a lot of hurdles for long term change, from the two party system that facilitates parties just blaming each other and revoking each others' policies every 4-8 years over the supreme courts being as political as they are to the election system that mostly rewards the person who gets the most corporate gifts. I don't think there's any betrayal in giving up changing a system that has been stuck basically for 50-60 years now and you are likely to find some of the changes you wished for in western Europe.
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I applaud your drive to fight the good fight, but please take some time for yourself to settle in and take it easy at first. Best of luck to you and welcome to Europe.
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On July 02 2022 09:21 Archeon wrote:
I think one of the important things to consider about Malcom X is that he eventually failed to create the change he wished to see, while the peaceful protest eventually succeeded in making a change.
overlayed on that is the fact that the % of black + white people in NA is falling. As a result, the black//white dynamic is becoming less and less relevant. I graduated in a class of 190... 100 computer science people and 90 software engineer people. Only a handful were black or white. We ignored the history of black//white squabbles. We were focused on $ecuring the bag.
Sounds cold, but we just didn't care. That attitude could not exist before 2000.
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On July 03 2022 01:26 r00ty wrote:
I applaud your drive to fight the good fight, but please take some time for yourself to settle in and take it easy at first. Best of luck to you and welcome to Europe.
Good advice. Some have to get used to the peace first.
Carrying over a fight from the US to Europe might not be necessary.
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On July 02 2022 09:21 Archeon wrote:
I think one of the important things to consider about Malcom X is that he eventually failed to create the change he wished to see, while the peaceful protest eventually succeeded in making a change.
That being said the USA is a system that has a lot of hurdles for long term change, from the two party system that facilitates parties just blaming each other and revoking each others' policies every 4-8 years over the supreme courts being as political as they are to the election system that mostly rewards the person who gets the most corporate gifts. I don't think there's any betrayal in giving up changing a system that has been stuck basically for 50-60 years now and you are likely to find some of the changes you wished for in western Europe.
Malcolm X was assassinated and the US has a long history of change being driven by violence. Peaceful protest is a phase but rioting and violence are what really forces change.
Labor laws, independence from the British, slavery, and yes even Civil Rights were all heavily helped by rioting and violence from the oppressed.
Don't let the US' sanitization of MLK whitewash history in such a way thats convenient for those in power.
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It sounds like you have made a logical and well considered decision to leave a sinking ship. I'm sure you will smash life in Belgium, you can watch Arsenal lose at a much more reasonable timeslot now!
I do not think that you are a coward for not fighting what you consider to be an unwinnable fight. One should pick their battles. Please don't feel too guilty. There is victory for you in survival and achieving happiness.
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I left America for the first time in 2003, as an exchange student, and ultimately put down roots in Germany. I returned for five years, in 2015, so that my kids could get to know the place I came from, but in 2020 I fled like a refugee, or like a rat from a sinking ship. I ask myself a lot which is was - was I fleeing to safety, or was I getting my family to safety and sanity while that was still possible? - but intervening events have convinced me of the rightness of my choice, regardless. I have a twelve year old daughter. That's the end of the discussion for me. I'm pretty sure that the Supreme Court is on the cusp of declaring children like my daughter legally obligated to carry pregnancies to term regardless of whether they are wanted, whether they threaten the safety of the mother, whether they are the result of rape. If I'm a coward then I'll accept the label, but for two years I've felt nothing but relief that I got my family out of that shithole country while that was still possible. I shudder to think of what is going to replace the current world order when America's inability to sanely govern itself bears its inevitable fruit, but at least my children won't be at the epicenter of that colossal failure.
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Belgium9942 Posts
On July 01 2022 18:49 _fool wrote:Well, welcome to Europe, neighbour I expect your "far-left" opinions (according to Texas standards) to be considered more "center-left" in Belgium. So your voice is more likely to be heard. I hope things work out for you!
PvdA-PTB is considered extreme left in Belgium, and I think he'll be surprised by how far they want to push things.
Going to Belgium you'll experience some of the upsides and some of the downsides of our more left-leaning policies over the past years, and you might readjust where you place yourself on the spectrum, as our "center" is definitely skewed a lot compared to the US. You'll find right-wing parties here that still want free unified health care and free university education, for example.
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I really thank y'all for the replies! It's been a tough few years here and I'm relieved and a bit bittersweet about being able to get my fiancée and me out of the US for good. I think spending a solid few months in Belgium adjusting to everything and destressing will be something I desperately need
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Northern Ireland23042 Posts
Pretty powerful, cogently argued stuff. And best of luck with your new life in a new locale!
If there’s one tendency that annoys me the most it’s the snipping of the snapshot in time that is legally codifying changes and framing it as a triumphant example of peaceful, non-disruptive protest and legalistic mechanisms.
Everything prior to that, be it disruptive mass protest or even violence is disregarded as being a factor that lead to a reluctant legal change.
As a denizen of Northern Ireland I recognise all too well this tendency, that the Good Friday Agreement was granted by the largesse of the British government based on people asking nicely, rather than a settlement predicated on historic discrimination and reaction of various kinds to that, that ultimately shifted the needle.
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I hope you find some peace in Belgium. I can empathize with the discrimination and bigotry that trans people face but honestly your posts have always lost me when you insist on using words like genocide. Genocide means the complete annihilation of a people. By all accounts the trans population is exploding. Saying that a genocide is occurring on the fastest growing population of people just makes no sense.
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On July 04 2022 07:10 AmericanUmlaut wrote: If I'm a coward then I'll accept the label, but for two years I've felt nothing but relief that I got my family out of that shithole country while that was still possible. I shudder to think of what is going to replace the current world order when America's inability to sanely govern itself bears its inevitable fruit, but at least my children won't be at the epicenter of that colossal failure.
Canada's hardest working, most talented, and most ambitious university grads are heading to the USA in droves.
That must make Canada worse than a shithole country.
https://brainstation.io/magazine/study-from-waterloo-grads-details-canadian-brain-drain
This has become a PR battle because Waterloo is really just a prep ground for Canadians to live and work in the USA. So now Waterloo is attempting to frame things differently. Bottom line is, the best and most interesting work is in the USA. And it pays way way better.
![[image loading]](https://i.imgur.com/PzMltyo.jpg)
And its not just Canada's most talented leaving. Rank and file nurses are leaving. Orthopaedic surgeons are leaving... I can go on and on.
https://bloomberg.nursing.utoronto.ca/news/canadas-nurses-continue-to-migrate-to-us-for-full-time-work/
The constant threat that a Canadian nurse can leave for the USA is what keeps the nurses' union so strong. Nurses ain't auto workers or retail clerks. They can GTFO at any time. Show these women the money and give them proper working conditions... or they leave for a better situation.
When I lived in Canada and had Canadian mediocre health insurance I paid cash in Buffalo, New York for an MRI that would've taken six months in Canada. Aetna > OHIP.
In conclusion, I do not think Canada is a "shithole country" nor do I think USA is a "shithole country".
If calling the USA a shithole country was a troll.. hey man.. you got me.
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It's not necessary rocket science that the most hard working, talented, ambitious people in Canada who also happen to be of age best suited to develop their careers due to many factors would choose to do it in a market that is around 10* the size of the one they are in and is most familiar to the one they developed in thus far in their lives.
But when they are in a different stage in their lives, say when they are a parent, you might see them make a different choice.
And sad reality is the more talented you are, the less worried you are of being taken advantaged of and the more likely you would be able to take advantage of others. And business just isn't about win wins at the end of the day, as we can see from target market pricing, that is unless it could be argued that the higher the price the more value you get from it with all things being equal.
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Northern Ireland23042 Posts
On July 07 2022 23:48 Byo wrote:
It's not necessary rocket science that the most hard working, talented, ambitious people in Canada who also happen to be of age best suited to develop their careers due to many factors would choose to do it in a market that is around 10* the size of the one they are in and is most familiar to the one they developed in thus far in their lives.
But when they are in a different stage in their lives, say when they are a parent, you might see them make a different choice.
And sad reality is the more talented you are, the less worried you are of being taken advantaged of and the more likely you would be able to take advantage of others. And business just isn't about win wins at the end of the day, as we can see from target market pricing, that is unless it could be argued that the higher the price the more value you get from it with all things being equal.
Indeed. I’m not sure people are advancing the argument that the US is an awful place to live if you’re earning bank.
I’m kinda stuck where I am given being a parent at 23. Luckily I can have a decent standard of life doing even unskilled jobs, and I’ll have a better one once I’ve finished my current degree.
If my health issues flared up again to the degree they did in my mid 20s and I had another year in hospital right before finishing my degree, I mean yes that would fucking suck.
I could still enjoy a (relatively) decent life over here even doing bottom rung jobs, something that isn’t particularly plausible in other locations and countries.
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nobody gonna read all of that
User was banned for this post.
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United Kingdom20263 Posts
Good luck! I hope you can make a better, safer and more fulfilling life for yourself there ASAP. Socially, i don't think it will be difficult - but there are always practical difficulties with moving across the planet.
The rise of facism in the USA and the apathetic lack of response or support for the victims from the overwhelming majority of citizens has been a trainwreck of legendary proportions to say the least and it will likely get a lot worse before it gets better, if it ever does. Even when it comes to something like roe vs wade which directly affects half of the population there's disquiet, but so few are willing to do what must be done - so what chance does 10%, 1% of the population have when they're painted as a bogeyman?
I've been doing all that i can to make a social difference but in the last years that focus has changed to supporting victims in safely moving away because of every other intevention being increasingly ineffectual. First to dem states, but then out of the USA altogether when things continued to escalate out of control.
The road to fasicm is paved with those who claimed that the victims were just being overly dramatic and that has been demonstrated even in this thread. If you are one of those people, you're a big part of the problem. Just say NO to fascism and to those who support it with votes or money in any way.
https://imgur.com/gallery/HX97Yc4
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EPT
