• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 23:32
CET 05:32
KST 13:32
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book16Clem wins HomeStory Cup 289HomeStory Cup 28 - Info & Preview13Rongyi Cup S3 - Preview & Info8herO wins SC2 All-Star Invitational14
Community News
ACS replaced by "ASL Season Open" - Starts 21/0222LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals (Feb 10-16)37Weekly Cups (Feb 2-8): Classic, Solar, MaxPax win2Nexon's StarCraft game could be FPS, led by UMS maker11PIG STY FESTIVAL 7.0! (19 Feb - 1 Mar)15
StarCraft 2
General
Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book Nexon's StarCraft game could be FPS, led by UMS maker How do you think the 5.0.15 balance patch (Oct 2025) for StarCraft II has affected the game? Terran Scanner Sweep Weekly Cups (Jan 12-18): herO, MaxPax, Solar win
Tourneys
LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals (Feb 10-16) SC2 AI Tournament 2026 PIG STY FESTIVAL 7.0! (19 Feb - 1 Mar) Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament RSL Season 4 announced for March-April
Strategy
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ? [A] Starcraft Sound Mod
External Content
Mutation # 513 Attrition Warfare The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 512 Overclocked Mutation # 511 Temple of Rebirth
Brood War
General
TvZ is the most complete match up Which units you wish saw more use in the game? Ladder maps - how we can make blizz update them? ACS replaced by "ASL Season Open" - Starts 21/02 StarCraft player reflex TE scores
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 1 Small VOD Thread 2.0 KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
Strategy
Fighting Spirit mining rates Zealot bombing is no longer popular? Simple Questions, Simple Answers Current Meta
Other Games
General Games
Path of Exile Diablo 2 thread ZeroSpace Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Battle Aces/David Kim RTS Megathread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Ask and answer stupid questions here! Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
The IdrA Fan Club The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books [Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
The Search For Meaning in Vi…
TrAiDoS
My 2025 Magic: The Gathering…
DARKING
Life Update and thoughts.
FuDDx
How do archons sleep?
8882
StarCraft improvement
iopq
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1899 users

Recent suicides

Blogs > Starlightsun
Post a Reply
Starlightsun
Profile Blog Joined June 2016
United States1405 Posts
Last Edited: 2019-06-09 03:57:00
June 08 2019 06:03 GMT
#1
One of my sister's first boyfriends just killed himself. Last week a guy I used to play basketball against also killed himself. It sounds like he had had trouble with psychosis before it happened, but no idea yet what contributed to this most recent suicide.

It's hard to imagine what kind of pain a person must be in to go through with suicide. I've gone through periods of passively wishing for death, and did make one genuine attempt in my teens. I hadn't done any research or anything at that time, so made the common mistake of thinking "just take a bunch of pill and overdose" only to wake up amid puddles of black vomit. Couple years ago I did the opposite and planned everything out, did my research diligently, yet found I couldn't take the last step. Since then I've pretty much avoided the subject and stopped even thinking about it as a maybe, because I know I'm too afraid.

I guess one of the bad things about it is you never to get to ask the person why. Even if someone leaves a detailed note, I'm sure there's a lot that must remain unsaid. So you can only wonder what was going through their mind. I used to have really strong opinions on how suicide is a choice that should be respected, but now I kind of feel like it's not my place to judge either way. I wonder if society were better, would we see less and less people killing themselves? Or is it an individual quirk that some people are just destined to have? The world is full of joy and beauty no doubt but I guess it's like light that must cast a shadow as well.

Music
+ Show Spoiler +









*
nanaoei
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
3358 Posts
Last Edited: 2019-06-08 13:31:26
June 08 2019 13:29 GMT
#2
i'm sorry to hear,
I used to describe depression really accurately for myself when I suffered through it day to day. I made attempts too, never seriously enough, but to feel the pain physical that I was feeling inside.
so even as I've been close, I can only imagine going through with it and the journey of the mind to get there.

there are a lot of interactions where you never get to ask `why`, but this is one of those things where you undoubtedly wished you had more time. sometimes you aren't able to help in the short amount of time, you need to understand that.
the help that you provide ends up not being the type that they want or need.

myself, I've needed somebody to believe in me. that person ended up being myself as I lost a girlfriend who did that for me. society had nothing to do with that other than my own incompetence and insensitivity to the situations that bothered somebody deep deep down. it's the stuff that keeps you up and still can't say to someone you want to spend your life with.

you can care with all your heart, but to truly understand them (in the short term, and eventually the long term), you have to live life as yourself and stop worrying so hard about others. that's a hard lesson I had to learn on my own. the hard effort you place into others and things you deem important are really just a stepping stone to improve your own life little by little. and sometimes they go unappreciated, or the timing is completely off.
surely there's a time and place where it's the opposite.

truly, even as a parent, the best you can do is to try your very best and hope that it works out. have the conversations, and never truly burn that bridge. you're the support center that is always there, no matter what.

+ Show Spoiler +
*@boesthius' FF7 nostalgia stream bomb* "we should work on a 'Final Progamer' fangame»whitera can be a protagonist---lastlie: "we save world and then defense it"
Starlightsun
Profile Blog Joined June 2016
United States1405 Posts
June 08 2019 16:32 GMT
#3
Thanks. Wise words about how to help others... In the past I've done more harm than good to people who tried to rely on me. Just from an outsider's perspective these guys seemed to have loving families and partners, one had like 4 kids I think. Guess you never really know what people are going through unless you're very close.
fluidrone
Profile Blog Joined January 2015
France1478 Posts
June 09 2019 11:02 GMT
#4
condolences :/
"not enough rights"
Starlightsun
Profile Blog Joined June 2016
United States1405 Posts
Last Edited: 2019-06-09 16:12:57
June 09 2019 16:08 GMT
#5
Thanks, I didn't really know either of them that well but yeah really sucks for the families. I get the feeling my sister's taking it pretty hard but we don't really talk about that kind of stuff.
nanaoei
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
3358 Posts
June 11 2019 08:25 GMT
#6
well the same goes for you, if you want to talk, just come here or similar.
we've all been in the same place, more or less.
*@boesthius' FF7 nostalgia stream bomb* "we should work on a 'Final Progamer' fangame»whitera can be a protagonist---lastlie: "we save world and then defense it"
Agh
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States1036 Posts
June 13 2019 14:31 GMT
#7
On June 08 2019 15:03 Starlightsun wrote:
I used to have really strong opinions on how suicide is a choice that should be respected, but now I kind of feel like it's not my place to judge either way. I wonder if society were better, would we see less and less people killing themselves? Or is it an individual quirk that some people are just destined to have? The world is full of joy and beauty no doubt but I guess it's like light that must cast a shadow as well.



Overpopulated world, Agendas being pushed whenever possible, abundance of information and viewpoints, and the ease of accessibility to do pretty much anything you want.

Ever since the late 90's it's been been trending up, and doesn't look like it'll be on the decline any time soon.

There isn't really a cause. Some people feel like they've accomplished everything life has to offer, while others just feel like they've been dealt a bad hand.

I personally don't have an issue with it, granted so long as someone doesn't leave behind an offspring that isn't at the age capable of taking care of themselves.
I may appear to be an emotionless sarcastic pos, but just like an onion when you pull off more and more layers you find the exact same thing everytime and you start crying
NewEyes
Profile Joined March 2012
Germany113 Posts
June 20 2019 16:53 GMT
#8
Sorry to hear about your struggles. I wish you all the best personally. However you said one thing that really grinds my gears and I therefore need to argue with you.

I used to have really strong opinions on how suicide is a choice that should be respected, but now I kind of feel like it's not my place to judge either way. I wonder if society were better, would we see less and less people killing themselves? Or is it an individual quirk that some people are just destined to have


Depression is not a choice. Depression is a mental illness. It's a tough and often deadly one but it is possible to cure. The choice to commit suicide is not so much of a 'choice' as it it a symptom of your illness. Your judgement simply is not clear and therefore it is societies duty to protect you from yourself. We are not letting people who go crazy because of high fever kill themselves and I doubt you would argue that we should. People that want to kill themselves because of depression need medical treatment and not being given a choice they can not make rationally.

Also this is probably needless to say but this situation fucking sucks if you happen to be emotionally close to the person trying out suicide. You are probably feeling a tiny bit of this right now and your sister is feeling more but there is always somebody that really truly cares about you as a person.
Starlightsun
Profile Blog Joined June 2016
United States1405 Posts
June 20 2019 18:09 GMT
#9
I don't know how much to believe that mental illness is analogous to physical illness. There are times where that model seems right and others where it seems grotesquely wrong. I don't believe that suicide can never be a rational decision, though it is true that many people are probably not thinking very rationally when they attempt. But to be honest I don't think I've read very in depth about the science of mental illness. I've just witnessed the often clumsy and sometimes brutal ways treatment is implemented, causing suffering when it was supposed to be alleviating it.

And yes you're right that each suicide causes pain to others, probably even the ones who seemingly were alone.
NewEyes
Profile Joined March 2012
Germany113 Posts
June 22 2019 13:20 GMT
#10
Suicide can be a rational decision however you can only make that decision if you are in a stable mental position. And if you are, reasons to commit suicide are really, really sparse.
You are right about treatment being diffiult and often handled in a suboptimal way. The people working in healthcare are humans after all and depending on were in the world you live conditions might be bad. I'd still argue that treatment is better then just not doing anything at all.
Starlightsun
Profile Blog Joined June 2016
United States1405 Posts
June 22 2019 16:33 GMT
#11
I agree with what you've said. Even if there are types of treatment that are worse than no treatment, doesn't mean it should be given up altogether. I wish they would take a more holistic approach though, using diet, exercise, and help with life stressors rather than going straight to medication. Where I am, mental health is typically diagnose, medicate, then medicate some more.
Foxxan
Profile Joined October 2004
Sweden3427 Posts
June 28 2019 15:46 GMT
#12
The heart might be in the right place for people. Good intentions though gets the same results as someone that wants harm.

People mistakenly think beliefs are facts now a days, just look at how people look up to medical care.


Either way, it should obviously be the individuals right to choose for him self if it is a grown up, if it is a kid it should be the parents choice 100%.
Not authority or government, they dont own our bodies. That is nonsense talk.


A lot of people wanna kill them self today. No wonder. The system is broken to its bones. Natural law is about harmony and disharmony, going against natural law makes us in disharmony.

Do we go against natural law a lot in society? ALL THE FREAKING TIME!
Cause and effect. Karma. Law of consequences are other names for natural law.

Dont mistake it as many other foolish people with darwaniasm bullcrap.


Nickolai
Profile Joined February 2016
United States1 Post
July 04 2019 20:54 GMT
#13
Ketamine cured my depression and I hope to tell everyone to try it if they are experiencing depression. Check out ketamineslc.com for more info. It was life changing. Colors are brighter, food tastes better, my anxiety is manageable. Ketamine works on your negative rewards center (Lateral Habenula). This Lateral Habenula gets stuck in burst mode (usually from PTSD or trauma events), which starts interfering with all sensory perception of the world and constantly reinforcing that everything is bad. If you or anyone else is experiencing depression, I urge you to give it a shot.

My deepest condolences to anyone that has lost someone to depression. I've lost an uncle and several friends to suicide and now that I know there's a cure, I'm compelled to try and let everyone know.

I've experienced the last 20 years severely depressed and it was a constant battle to see anything as good. When everything is bad, you start asking, "Why am I even still trying?" or "Why do I even want to live anymore, when nothing good ever happens?" Before anymore people give in to suicide, I hope they give this psychedelic anesthetic a try. Now I see the world as I suspected most others see it. Let me know if anyone want more information or my story.

Best Wishes,

Nickolai
Nick Stewart
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Replay Cast
00:00
HomeStory Cup 28 - Group C
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
RuFF_SC2 277
StarCraft: Brood War
sorry 91
NaDa 63
Icarus 5
Dota 2
monkeys_forever692
NeuroSwarm178
League of Legends
JimRising 775
Counter-Strike
taco 541
Super Smash Bros
C9.Mang01725
hungrybox275
Mew2King92
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor143
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick958
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Hupsaiya 100
• intothetv
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Doublelift4804
• Scarra2724
• Lourlo864
• Stunt465
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
4h 28m
Wardi Open
7h 28m
Monday Night Weeklies
12h 28m
OSC
19h 28m
WardiTV Winter Champion…
1d 7h
PiGosaur Cup
1d 20h
Replay Cast
2 days
WardiTV Winter Champion…
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
PiG Sty Festival
3 days
[ Show More ]
The PondCast
3 days
KCM Race Survival
3 days
WardiTV Winter Champion…
3 days
Replay Cast
3 days
PiG Sty Festival
4 days
Epic.LAN
4 days
Replay Cast
4 days
PiG Sty Festival
5 days
CranKy Ducklings
5 days
Epic.LAN
5 days
Replay Cast
5 days
PiG Sty Festival
6 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
6 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-02-14
LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals
Underdog Cup #3

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
Nations Cup 2026
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual
eXTREMESLAND 2025
SL Budapest Major 2025

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S1: King of Kings
[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 1st Round
[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 1st Round Qualifier
[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 2nd Round
[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 2nd Round Qualifier
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
RSL Revival: Season 4
WardiTV Winter 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
CCT Season 3 Global Finals
FISSURE Playground #3
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League Season 23
ESL Pro League Season 23
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.