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One of my sister's first boyfriends just killed himself. Last week a guy I used to play basketball against also killed himself. It sounds like he had had trouble with psychosis before it happened, but no idea yet what contributed to this most recent suicide.
It's hard to imagine what kind of pain a person must be in to go through with suicide. I've gone through periods of passively wishing for death, and did make one genuine attempt in my teens. I hadn't done any research or anything at that time, so made the common mistake of thinking "just take a bunch of pill and overdose" only to wake up amid puddles of black vomit. Couple years ago I did the opposite and planned everything out, did my research diligently, yet found I couldn't take the last step. Since then I've pretty much avoided the subject and stopped even thinking about it as a maybe, because I know I'm too afraid.
I guess one of the bad things about it is you never to get to ask the person why. Even if someone leaves a detailed note, I'm sure there's a lot that must remain unsaid. So you can only wonder what was going through their mind. I used to have really strong opinions on how suicide is a choice that should be respected, but now I kind of feel like it's not my place to judge either way. I wonder if society were better, would we see less and less people killing themselves? Or is it an individual quirk that some people are just destined to have? The world is full of joy and beauty no doubt but I guess it's like light that must cast a shadow as well.
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i'm sorry to hear,
I used to describe depression really accurately for myself when I suffered through it day to day. I made attempts too, never seriously enough, but to feel the pain physical that I was feeling inside.
so even as I've been close, I can only imagine going through with it and the journey of the mind to get there.
there are a lot of interactions where you never get to ask `why`, but this is one of those things where you undoubtedly wished you had more time. sometimes you aren't able to help in the short amount of time, you need to understand that.
the help that you provide ends up not being the type that they want or need.
myself, I've needed somebody to believe in me. that person ended up being myself as I lost a girlfriend who did that for me. society had nothing to do with that other than my own incompetence and insensitivity to the situations that bothered somebody deep deep down. it's the stuff that keeps you up and still can't say to someone you want to spend your life with.
you can care with all your heart, but to truly understand them (in the short term, and eventually the long term), you have to live life as yourself and stop worrying so hard about others. that's a hard lesson I had to learn on my own. the hard effort you place into others and things you deem important are really just a stepping stone to improve your own life little by little. and sometimes they go unappreciated, or the timing is completely off.
surely there's a time and place where it's the opposite.
truly, even as a parent, the best you can do is to try your very best and hope that it works out. have the conversations, and never truly burn that bridge. you're the support center that is always there, no matter what.
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Thanks. Wise words about how to help others... In the past I've done more harm than good to people who tried to rely on me. Just from an outsider's perspective these guys seemed to have loving families and partners, one had like 4 kids I think. Guess you never really know what people are going through unless you're very close.
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Thanks, I didn't really know either of them that well but yeah really sucks for the families. I get the feeling my sister's taking it pretty hard but we don't really talk about that kind of stuff.
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well the same goes for you, if you want to talk, just come here or similar.
we've all been in the same place, more or less.
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On June 08 2019 15:03 Starlightsun wrote:
I used to have really strong opinions on how suicide is a choice that should be respected, but now I kind of feel like it's not my place to judge either way. I wonder if society were better, would we see less and less people killing themselves? Or is it an individual quirk that some people are just destined to have? The world is full of joy and beauty no doubt but I guess it's like light that must cast a shadow as well.
Overpopulated world, Agendas being pushed whenever possible, abundance of information and viewpoints, and the ease of accessibility to do pretty much anything you want.
Ever since the late 90's it's been been trending up, and doesn't look like it'll be on the decline any time soon.
There isn't really a cause. Some people feel like they've accomplished everything life has to offer, while others just feel like they've been dealt a bad hand.
I personally don't have an issue with it, granted so long as someone doesn't leave behind an offspring that isn't at the age capable of taking care of themselves.
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Sorry to hear about your struggles. I wish you all the best personally. However you said one thing that really grinds my gears and I therefore need to argue with you.
I used to have really strong opinions on how suicide is a choice that should be respected, but now I kind of feel like it's not my place to judge either way. I wonder if society were better, would we see less and less people killing themselves? Or is it an individual quirk that some people are just destined to have
Depression is not a choice. Depression is a mental illness. It's a tough and often deadly one but it is possible to cure. The choice to commit suicide is not so much of a 'choice' as it it a symptom of your illness. Your judgement simply is not clear and therefore it is societies duty to protect you from yourself. We are not letting people who go crazy because of high fever kill themselves and I doubt you would argue that we should. People that want to kill themselves because of depression need medical treatment and not being given a choice they can not make rationally.
Also this is probably needless to say but this situation fucking sucks if you happen to be emotionally close to the person trying out suicide. You are probably feeling a tiny bit of this right now and your sister is feeling more but there is always somebody that really truly cares about you as a person.
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I don't know how much to believe that mental illness is analogous to physical illness. There are times where that model seems right and others where it seems grotesquely wrong. I don't believe that suicide can never be a rational decision, though it is true that many people are probably not thinking very rationally when they attempt. But to be honest I don't think I've read very in depth about the science of mental illness. I've just witnessed the often clumsy and sometimes brutal ways treatment is implemented, causing suffering when it was supposed to be alleviating it.
And yes you're right that each suicide causes pain to others, probably even the ones who seemingly were alone.
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Suicide can be a rational decision however you can only make that decision if you are in a stable mental position. And if you are, reasons to commit suicide are really, really sparse.
You are right about treatment being diffiult and often handled in a suboptimal way. The people working in healthcare are humans after all and depending on were in the world you live conditions might be bad. I'd still argue that treatment is better then just not doing anything at all.
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I agree with what you've said. Even if there are types of treatment that are worse than no treatment, doesn't mean it should be given up altogether. I wish they would take a more holistic approach though, using diet, exercise, and help with life stressors rather than going straight to medication. Where I am, mental health is typically diagnose, medicate, then medicate some more.
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The heart might be in the right place for people. Good intentions though gets the same results as someone that wants harm.
People mistakenly think beliefs are facts now a days, just look at how people look up to medical care.
Either way, it should obviously be the individuals right to choose for him self if it is a grown up, if it is a kid it should be the parents choice 100%.
Not authority or government, they dont own our bodies. That is nonsense talk.
A lot of people wanna kill them self today. No wonder. The system is broken to its bones. Natural law is about harmony and disharmony, going against natural law makes us in disharmony.
Do we go against natural law a lot in society? ALL THE FREAKING TIME!
Cause and effect. Karma. Law of consequences are other names for natural law.
Dont mistake it as many other foolish people with darwaniasm bullcrap.
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Ketamine cured my depression and I hope to tell everyone to try it if they are experiencing depression. Check out ketamineslc.com for more info. It was life changing. Colors are brighter, food tastes better, my anxiety is manageable. Ketamine works on your negative rewards center (Lateral Habenula). This Lateral Habenula gets stuck in burst mode (usually from PTSD or trauma events), which starts interfering with all sensory perception of the world and constantly reinforcing that everything is bad. If you or anyone else is experiencing depression, I urge you to give it a shot.
My deepest condolences to anyone that has lost someone to depression. I've lost an uncle and several friends to suicide and now that I know there's a cure, I'm compelled to try and let everyone know.
I've experienced the last 20 years severely depressed and it was a constant battle to see anything as good. When everything is bad, you start asking, "Why am I even still trying?" or "Why do I even want to live anymore, when nothing good ever happens?" Before anymore people give in to suicide, I hope they give this psychedelic anesthetic a try. Now I see the world as I suspected most others see it. Let me know if anyone want more information or my story.
Best Wishes,
Nickolai
Nick Stewart
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