[Rambling Jam] 'You're Just Like_'

YokoKano

United States612 Posts

June 23 2016 05:52 GMT

I rarely like Hendrix covers, but to be honest, I didn't like get smurfed on iCCup either. There's nothing wrong with smurfs, in my opinion just play whatever because whatever, and in short it's StarCraft so the more whatever in your game the more you are like Nal_rA the dreamer. But think about it this way, all Asians are the same person, except that it's really expensive to be the consciousness always inside the same body known as Lim Yo-Hwan. And that's the same way for me, really, I'm never the same consciousness inside the same body, and the reason is probably something to do with my StarCraft experience playing so many different opponents simultaneously.

Like Poker, you can play probably 50 or 60 up to 100 and even more players all simultaneously if you're willing to 16-25 table NL like 100/2/4/8.

And earnestly, this is the same point Jimi Hendrix was trying to make with his guitar. Yeah, it was the age of LSD, and free love, and most of us know next to nothing about that. If we did, of course, we wouldn't be StarCraft players, because what makes us play StarCraft is some kind of ill-concealed or thinly-veiled need to accomplish something mathematical or intuitive. Then the more psychopath-style players graduated to play more mellowing games like Poker where they could pursue their desires directly (at least those players with a bent to a game like Hold 'Em). This was pretty good, I think, for a lot of players; the passive like Bertrand 'Elky' and not so good for the more aggressive players (RekruL); but really good for lesser known players like Myth, Day, Baal, NonY, and of course GaYmE (David Kent).

My feeling is that these players eventually got matched up with local legends in Korea, Macau, and some of the siesta vistas in Latin America. Guys like Yellow mellowed Rekrul pretty quick; fiercer players like "lastgosu" and the four-time finalist UK's Midian found themselves crushed by cyber-style psychology gosus who brought to the table something that mechanics and strategy couldn't rival. In short there wasn't much to say about Brood War players making the transition to poker immediately except that they weren't much good, if they were anything like myself they didn't win much after a few weeks of play.

Anyway there was also the education pressure, and poker didn't remedy that. Not remotely, really, was there any chance of recollecting the glories of the Brood War life in the realm of academia (or so it seemed at first). There were a few isolated cases of Beijing U. students; MIT zergs and a few kids at Harvard who were like B- level on iCCup but none of them were really top-notch. So it was an alternative situation: either poker, StarCraft and a job, or neither and then school.

My own poker career wasn't that great it was thinly masked with drugs like Adderall and i guess pot or stuff that helped me relax and win lots. But then I never graduated past a success at NL100 and only then with coaching etc. I probably made like $6k in total over 200 hours of pretty serious play and then a lot more math homework. I remember vaguely writing some pretty important game theory trees about what I thought pre-flop play should look like, ranges, stuff like that. It never really got anywhere and I don't think I published it. I'm pretty famously glad that I never really published anything because what the hell.

Of course there were really no successful female Brood War players that powered the scene in Poker like they did in StarCraft: Brood War. The initial stages of the game of course were just a bunch of pre-teens playing around on money maps (a bunch of $$$ nonsense; spam, BGH, close mining maps and that kind of junk). And I guess that's why only a handful of Poker players ever really made it anywhere. I think probably the top 10 Brood War poker players make like annual 7 figures which is pretty good cuz that's probably top 1% perhaps even top .3%. But then there were a lot more people who tried and didn't get anywhere or just weren't stable in the long run, LOL.

Of course I'd congratulate the elder crowd: Rekrul Elky Boxer Yellow and Fayth on their WPT, EPT, WSOP wins but for the most part that doesn't represent the rest of us in any substantial way especially not today when it's been like 9 years since they released SC2.

Anyway like virtually nothing came of the poker attempts except a lot of stimulant abuse by a lot of talented young kids who previously had no idea about drugs. Sure most of that stuff is over-the-counter like everyone can get a prescription to Adderall, Vyvanse, and it's definitely a lot healthier than using cocaine daily if you really abuse that stuff you can get really high and it can interfere with your decision-making in ways that aren't really long-run stable. By the time all this was happening I'd pretty much lost interest in poker anyway as the scene had really dried up for new talent and which direction the RTS society wanted to go.

I also never really related to Warcraft personalities like Grrrr.... Moon or the crew that later transferred briefly to Wings and HotS. I think Warcraft offered something that other publishing houses lacked and that's the connection to a wider world of venues like what happened in WoW over the last 15 years. But again I think it's pretty controversial and you'd have to hear from someone who knows really strictly what happened with WoW.

My own considerations have nothing much to do at all with MMOs cuz frankly they're pretty boring and outside of some really isolated context I don't see them to be the future or representative of really anything that's going to be interesting in the next three or four decades. Down the road a ways sure when there's some realistic virtual reality environment that provides people an in-depth look into the way societies and civilizations really work. But I don't think programmers have any insight into that, not really any at all except a bunch of abstracts and unintuitive spam that amounts to a lot of social awkwardness and feelings of inept failure.

Anyway before I get to the point of this blog I thought I'd share some basic opinions on what happened to life around 19 or 20 which is when most of us start to get interested in girls. The hormones have calmed down and most of the opportunity for a real life lays ahead of us in some important capacity like what if so-and-so had some really extroverted internal mental life. Which leads me to this Hendrix riff "Dagger" where we listen to Jimi's opinions on the female mentality. I'd disagree of course that women are at all are icy. That's either a really optimistic appraisal or Hendrix saw something in a biology publication that I wouldn't necessarily intuit.

Also women seem really resistant to the gamer mentality even in China Korea and Japan where women are pretty popular citizens on videogame clients. And a different clientele doesn't like absolutely improve the situation in my opinion especially given my own semi-limited experience regarding how we should handle the integration of the non-progaming public into the virtual experience. Like sure there are isolated instances of sex idol like "here's TossgirL" and what's your opinion about this. Mine of course is that being good at an RTS isn't really a sign of anything and that garnering a degree of support for yourself as an RTS gamer as a woman is no different really than garnering support for yourself as an RTS gamer as a male.

So in short the 19-20 questions and the 19-20 years converged for me considerably. I wasn't great with women and I didn't know what they were thinking most of the time, or whether they thought anything like me. I think they think pretty much the same, now, looking back in retrospect that girls and guys are essentially exercising the same rationality about the same questions from a different perspective. But that's more like simply an opinion I've developed not knowing much of anything about anything, and learning even less than I knew etc. Things were great for Jimi of course, if you examine the differences between yourself and Hendrix you'll probably find it to be almost exactly the same as comparing yourself to God, which is never really fruitful especially if you're interested in women.

LOL.

Now that I think of it women really do compare themselves to God quite often and I don't know if that's like a menstrual hold over thing or something that you could actually seriously bring up in public successfully without too much intuitive straining. Personally I think a nice car and some reverb (like 'style') or something like that is really what you want as far as integrating with the female community. Go about things looking to make friends and see if the girls are open to that idea. Again I LOL pretty hard when I look at most cyber-sex idols like Rekrul trying to make friends (what I have in mind isn't soul destruction or anything of that nature but I guess it works in isolated contexts). No, really what I have in mind is something like what if you were approached by a rational woman who had rational life plans and wanted something rational like self-idealization.

Then we're back to comparing ourselves to God, which as I said before women seem to do a lot more successfully and a lot more frequently than men. And of course that's just like my opinion which we both recognize as being more or less unfruitful. So what do I mean by trying to make friends outside the virtual world? Well, I mean if you're a StarCraft player or a Poker player or even a Hearthstone player or DotA player your biggest obstacle will be to identify something you have in common with someone else. Most of your friends are probably really competitive and roided up on testosterone which is a legitimate strategy if you want to win at forceful competition. But then again this is like transforming your competitive environment into drinking games, pissing contests, and questions about who really has more "money" (where money is basically skill).

And none of this is really food for a lasting relationship, but it identifies with us as humans at some primitive level. Like, "This is what it took for dinosaur-fighter'JOE' to survive in dinosaur-times where JOE fought dinosaurs for a living." (drinks, games, money and skill versus the dinosaur's aptitudes).

Eventually you find yourself beyond the drug realm, not considering drinks or what it means to be powerful in a real world scenario like you were playing at a trumped up Poker environment. That's not really what gamers are familiar with and not what StarCraft, Warcraft, WoW or whatever was / is about. So I'm just gonna gloss over that part of the story with 6///9 by Hendrix. I have no idea what he's really on about here or what he's suggesting with the demeanour of the music. Probably nothing he's just really high on LSD, lol, but that was the 60s and early 70s before the cocaine in the 80s. All this is pretty tableau these days and whatever.

So to get to the meat of the post I was doing some PC work today and I was looking through all this shit I have in a box at my parents house. (I've got a special storage box where I keep a bunch of illicit shit from expensive jewelry to receipts, beer tabs, rare Japanese coins, two dollar bills and half dollars).

Anyway in the box I also have a bunch of USBs. I used to collect USB hard drives and paint them etc to give them a sort of flair that we don't get outside the novel settings we so infrequently frequent (to use a turn of a phrase LOL).

Anyway so I was looking through some old SC2 reps where I smash oGs)TOP and some other famous dudes and followed my first career efforts in Wings where I got to #1 in the world (which was just #1 in USA cuz of server split but it still felt good).

I realized I didn't like SC2 much at first and that really it would take a lot to make the game up to par with StarCraft: Brood War which was you know in its own right pretty good even compared to predecessors.

But finally in the end I found what I was looking for which was a collection of BW games on the old map pools from 2001-2009 where I raped all the best players in the world with the exception of MidiaN (who outclassed me) and Yosh (the guy who taught SC at UC Berkeley). Still, those guys had a lot of potential and a lot of skill compared to the amount of time I could afford to practice. Unfortunately I'd had my wrists broken playing arcade games in Texas because I'd started using performance enhancements like caffeine pills etc to up my videogame acumen. In hindsight it reminds me of Paul Newman in 'The Hustler' which is an old flick with Paul Newman where he gets his wrists broken because he's one of the best pool sharks outside Atlantic City (at least hat's the plot of the movie, LOL).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMkdhVQMBHY&list=PLMKA5kzkfqk2GEImRCIqGqWmQvKYygUhG&index=20

So anyway here I'm looking through all my old reps on BW chart (which I still have on my ancient 2006 laptop).

I all-kill every American gosu from NonY to IncontroL to Day9 Artosis Idra and even lastgosu (the Korean Pro)

I even snipe a "wanna-be" BoxeR on iCCup and that amused us to no end.

like I said I struggled with a few opponents not necessarily posting perfect winning records against guys like lzGamer and Machine (at least not after high school graduation) and then there were my crushing series against ninazerg and a few other female gamers. Some old reps where I 5v1 high school kids from the rival high school in our bi-city area.

Wins against Testie, Mondragon, Androide, one isolated incident where I nuke Rekrul to death in Race Wars (ROFL™).

But like I said there were some embarrassing losses too. JulyZerg snipes me on iCCup and I never got to play rA but I feel like I did pretty well in most 1v1 scenarios against JF, [stim]Jamers and Grrrrr's various teammates like Firebat.

Probably my fondest moments were all-killing various colleague teams smurfing illegally (inspired by the Hexatron scandal with Skew and Assem when they were just getting back from Korea).

I also had great series against G5, siz)KaL, "o.ov", Gayme, and sMi. Symphony the SC2 perma-GM.

There were some other no tables like SaddleS, NookS, "RaveN" and Tempest the guy who beat Nada 70-5 on NFZ (rofl so ridiculozzz).

Alright so seriously I was like 300 APM when [6699]Slayer was growing three hands.
I was nuking and EMPing before the singleplayer AI was nerfed.
I was averaging 20+ PvP-kill Reavers before Jangbi
I was mineral swapping pylon blocking and gateway finessing before Bisu defeated Savior
I was massacreing interceptors on Stim before BW
I was GARIMTO probe recalling before Valhalla

I was basically the best Brood War casual there ever was and I never got anything for it. I've got a lot of theories about metaphysics and shit about why StarCraft and its competent 500 APM actions per minute (see Jaedong, Zero, Effort, Kang Min, XelloS) are the solution to every world problem (like neurological chess bitcoin in a wireless digital environment except way more than 20 games at once, basically 500 APM, HAHAHAHAHA).

Anyway I was like pretty much the greatest foreigner basically ever but never got to compete in anything because I overdosed on caffeine and broke both wrists falling from a 5 story building. Suffered from carpal tunnel ever since until last year I finally got a nerve replacement surgery. But yea it's fucking shit basically to be the best ever at the most difficult game ever and never receive any recognition. It's not much difference than being Jimi Hendrix and whatever.

Ty2

United States1434 Posts

June 24 2016 00:14 GMT

--- Nuked ---

YokoKano

United States612 Posts

June 24 2016 06:53 GMT

lol thx I think I'm completely normal almost totally completely normal so whatever but I appreciate compliments some of the time.

but ya look at the world today it's really weird how it is. people are fascinated with Buddhist comments from ancient elder Asia before Hinduism ever happened and way before the modern age of Christianity and Muhammad and all that. Even though we identify with science or math or some kind of new-age rational discourse on the way the world actually is (even though it isn't anything like that)

But yeah we're absorbed completely in this Mongolian perspective like "eating shit and dying" is the real solution. (Which is a really bizarre standpoint, especially I think if you take it in perspective with stuff like Dawkins and the Selfish Gene). And consider also like what "objectively agreeable and *motivating*" perspectives actually absorb the greater human society today. It's all basically Dawkins and the Selfish Gene, Hawking and scientific "Theory of Time" and some lesser known psychological stuff that's either too occult to make sense or too malleable to possibly be relevant.

Yeah in my opinion like consider why do people use marijuana (which is really pretty popular today, I guess?) I dunno I think marijuana is even almost legal like you can just buy it with money in some places. So why do people use drugs like Marijauana and even really radical brain-altering substances like LSD? Well, the simple answer is to perceive the world accurately and not make silly mistakes. But what kind of silly mistakes do humans make?

Just obvious ones really like "Oh we have these five senses (and that's it) -- I sure hope these five senses can perceive enough of the world and put it in perspective so that I don't do stupid shit." But then it turns out that actually the five human senses are about as good being a honey bee. And actually this isn't as surprising as it appears. Sure humans have built pretty much everything in the world we care about from the Himalayas to the Entire State Building, Sears Towers, Pyramids, and Blizzard, StarCraft, chess, strip-mining and industrial agricultural farming. So that's all we care about and that's all stuff we made so since that's what we care about and we're able to make the stuff we care about then there really isn't that much more to explain.

Sure, you can always contest: "Well here's Earth, and I guess Earth occupies about 1/999,000,000,000,000% of the known universe (which isn't very much volumetrically). And Earth has been here for like 1/5th the lifespan of the known universe and humans live for about 1/1,000,000,000 the lifespan of Earth... So sure we know jackshit about it unless our detection devices are really sophisticated (and maybe they are compared to ants). But on the other hand maybe human sense-perception and our intellectual capacity to detect stuff is like completely nonsense and is almost as bad as data can get. So in other words maybe our five senses are completely misleading and if we ever met a real Protoss species or something we'd probably be like "WTF we're fucking retarded and completely hopelessly wrong plz guide us oh great Protozzz warriorz."

But I guess that isn't a very helpful perspective. I dunno it could be helpful not in a humbling sense that you'll lose all motivation and decide life just isn't for you because I guess that's sort of a taboo perspective. Luckily not most people suffer from any form of depression or disillusionment. Life would sure suck if everyone was depressed or convinced they were hopelessly retarded. So you can see pretty clearly why luckily most people aren't like that. From an evolutionary perspective the whole humanity would probably completely eliminate itself if we had the general outlook that we were hopelessly retarded and incapable of appreciating any of the universal beauty. So yeah humans could never evolve that way that we were all in a state of endless ennui and depression and deeply felt confusion. It just contradicts the whole evolutionary perspective if psychology means anything at all, and I mean, personally I think psychology is pretty important as an aspect of human nature.

So I dunno it depends heavily on what you think about how humans operate; what motivates us and what we believe motivates us. These are pretty different questions. For instance you might say something like, "Are we really motivated by the subconscious driving forces that constitute our motivation?" It might be completely obvious that we reject the subconscious driving elements and that the reality of cognitive dissonance is actually the guiding force in our "collective mind". I have no idea if anything like a collective mind could even exist. On the other hand I think a human brain is pretty weird and not at all unlike a sort of compartmentalized collective consciousness. Which isn't really different from an anthill or beehive or some kind of insectoid corporate entity that evolved with intent to survive. And I guess that pretty accurately describes a variety of insectoid species and the sort of corporate society that encapsulates the "higher meaning" of their existence (if that's really what a higher meaning is).

Hmm well like personally I think I'm a pretty interesting person. For instance a lot of people think I've used a lot of drugs because "oh you've got schizophrenia and that's usually drug induced" or "oh you've got depression and that's usually drug induced" or "oh you've got some kind of weird paranoia and that's usually drug induced."

But honestly (and maybe importantly lol) I haven't done many drugs, but most people in my life are afraid that I've done tons of drugs. I have no idea how they arrive at that conclusion considering like for instance my parents bankroll most of my life and are pretty influential people.

I mean I've probably smoked less than 2 ounces of marijuana in my life and never done anything stronger than 1g of mushroom once and 3g of psilocybin twice (but I was on SSRIs so it didn't really do anything psychedelic etc.)

But yea my parents psychologists, guardians, psychiatrists think I've done all these drugs and that's why I have psychological problems. My own answer is that it's just the opposite. Some drugs, at least the ones that are clinically effective like cannabis sativa are a lot like running Windows 10 update on your computer. I dunno why people don't talk more openly about this stuff I guess it's because they're afraid they'll be imprisoned, disconnected or placed in some kind of lock down like an asylum.

This is a pretty real fear as you'll find out. For instance I was put in a hospital psych ward for 45 days because I threw papers out a car window while my mom was driving me home from an appointment. My mom then called the psychiatrist and I was arrested while I was in the shower and taken to the hospital under court order, etc. Then forcible injections of stuff that turns you into a retarded internet-disconnected zombie dummie. I dunno how long the hospital stay was supposed to last but I was pretty angry about the way things went down because I didn't think I needed to be there in the first place and so I yelled at the doctors and walked up and down the hallways when I wasn't allowed to. You can get in a lot of trouble for walking up and down the hallways in a psych ward (especially when you're not allowed to walk up and down the hallways).

I dunno much about the drugs they use, and since I don't believe in collective psychology or any kind of human-related phenomenon akin to a hive mind or anthill. I guess if you have friends or loved ones or family then the drugs for psychosis can be a lot more harmful than good. After all humans aren't psychic and I think we all know that there is no Protoss khala bond lol. The fact that literally no one ever recovers from using even the most effective modern anti-psychotics isn't really evidence of anything, to be honest. It's like yea, there could be this big mysterious cognitive-only or mind-only universe out there, but there's no reason to believe in anything like that.

And what if there was this big psychic space where all your friends and family and every relationship you've ever had existed? Cutting you off from that would only improve your chances of being cured and I mean that's pretty obvious. But since there is no evidence of anything like that and the only people who believe in that kind of stuff are sort of nutjobs to begin with it's a problem. I dunno my doctor is a pretty competent military guy. In this case I'd say it's pretty lucky I got this particular doctor he's a pretty good person and it's not like I feel any ill will toward him.

Military strategists are probably familiar with computers and how to use them but it's not like a retired veteran is gonna believe he's being checked on 24/7. Plus he's not being checked on 24/7 so there's no reason to believe that he could be. There are some possibly pertinent questions of consciousness, mind, and digital integration. Like could your mind end up on the internet? Sure some day probably if we had really powerful computers, wireless networks, and satellites rotating around the Earth with millions of tons of quantum supercomputing surveillance equipment. But let's face it that wouldn't effect anyone other than members of the CIA and probably fucking David Kim, Mike Morhaime and Bill Gates, essentially just people who are influential, powerful, and rich enough to purchase access to some kind of ornate Gundam Wing Zero System.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5CVsCnxyXg&list=PLkSTq_iV1ZIAX-TtjbjNY7YRHD7ULqYC9&index=9

But again I'm an Apple computer fan, and I think that Bill Gates is a chauvinist capitalist pig who got really lucky building something that sucks and cutting a bunch of corners so that everything fails in this almost ingenuously frustrating counterintuitive way. Actually I don't think Windows bears any semblance at all to the real world. I'm constantly amazed that Windows is suddenly making children's games... I think the Facebook movie is a way better depiction of the way the world is. Sucks that the Jewish guy retired thought. I liked Zuckerburg a lot.

So strictly speaking I see this one psychiatrist who used to be part of the military and if there were one thing I'd worry about it's that the military sometimes use stimulants and they can put you into a flight or fight state where you're really good at math but not really good at seeing things long term. Dunno if that's what I mean when I say long-term versus for instance short-term, or rational self-interest to the exclusion of some potential deviations from an apparently inflexible protocol. I really have no idea what psychiatrists are like but there seem to be roughly two types (suicidal cases who want to help people who are suicidal) and people who are rigidly disciplined but otherwise pretty healthy.

Anyway my own experience has been pretty bad with the medication used to treat mental conditions and I think it's just unique to my own psychology and my close attachments to a close-knit small group of people who I call up on occasion. I don't mean the real world and the people in the real world cease to exist when you use anti-psychotic medication. In that sense it's not way different than stimulants which are also pretty popular. LOL I guess I mentioned this in the OP but yea a lot of RTS gamers and even some FPS guys use stims to help them do stuff. For people who haven't used these drugs stimulants can definitely disconnect you somewhat from your fellow man and society. It's easy to pick up girls though. On the other hand converting your brain into a very close simulation of a human-built information processing unit has a lot of advantages too.

Look for instances at the Middle East, Jerusalem and Islamic society. It reminds me of a sort of weird line that has nothing to do with that place, but it's in a song by the band TOOL (which is kind of edgy music I guess), anyway the line is "Like phosphorescent desert buttons, cool as our new second sun." This has nothing at all to do with anything from mind-dependence of reality to some kind of thoughts about stimulant use and the emergence of cooperation in religion. Actually it has nothing to do with the military or stimulants or computers or anything the middle east is just a cluster fuck and i doubt anything in the middle east is ever going to change virtually ever and people are doing their best over there anyway the reality of the situation just doesn't make sense to the evolved human.

Actually I think drugs are pretty uncommon in Jewish culture and especially Islamic culture which is really heavy into anti-drug use and not using or abusing psychedelics.

Hinduism is a lot different too. Luckily they're not in a desert.

HMM. WELL ANYWAY. TO QUOTE MY GOOD FRIEND CROWLEY AND ALL CAPITAL LETTERS LET ME GET BACK TO THE MAIN POINT OF WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT SO SHREWDLY IN MY VAGUELY FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHIAN TONE.

So, about my own life my personal experience with drugs is that people get really sensitive on some drugs. Like if you've ever smoked cannabis sativa it's sort of an almost electric high where you get really sensitive to what other people are feeling and communication becomes roughly more fluid in a highly fluid highly electric environment. The problem though is that if you ever use cannabis sativa (which is like 100% safe) with people who had experience with rarer and harder drugs like MDMA which can be even addictive in some contexts... In these rare occurrences and maybe a few other similar situations you can even "download" or kinda experience other people's feelings of hopelessness or in other cases even anxiety.

I dunno how paranoia emerges in drug users. I think it has something to do with communication, but drugs help a lot with communication, at least the benign drugs like tobacco, cannabis sativa, cannabis indica and fairly safe drugs like benzodiazepines (but personally I think benzos are kinda dangerous and can reduce your chance of evaluating your priorities for living the good life).

Anyway for me I got kinda paranoid because my friend got super high for like a year and then decided there might be more to life than the physical form so he just randomly killed himself while we were all hanging out. lol what a moron there's obviously nothing like that.

So a lot of people from my parents to my friends to my award-winning clinical psychologist to my psychiatrist can't understand why I experience paranoia and they attribute it to overdosing on marijuana which is surprisingly wrong since I never smoked more than 2 ounces in 29 years lol. It was probably something else would have been my guess. It's always weird when something somewhat unexpected happens unexpectedly in a really unexpected context where it doesn't fit.

I mean the collective mind-hypothesis is an interesting one, at least for military personnel and shit like that. Yeah I mean realistically with electrodes MRI and cloning we can probably hope to see some kind of augmentation to the human psyche like you were some kind of fucking Azande living in a rainforest listening to the somewhat chill vibes from some kind of Toucan. personally I think a lot of my friends regarded me as legendarily mentally stable if somewhat prone to bouts of depression but not radical in any way. So it's as mysterious to me why these things happen as it is to anyone else, and I don't think I have trouble talking about it in a way that seems appropriate. I really rarely think about social context or the relevance of social behavior at all. It's not like a human society is a giant Congo with a bunch of interacting ant-eaters and Africanized honey bees. I have no idea if that's even what I want to say and usually when I don't know what I want to say I don't even talk about it or worry that I'm possibly making a mistake. It's easy enough to just remain silent if you don't know what's going on and there's hardly any pressure in that strategy.

But yeah seriously I think some people especially really intelligent people who are abnormal usually struggle with questions like they think they're an isolated and 'unallied' beehive somewhere on a savannah of a hundred other beehives where none of the beehives can ever agree to not destroy each other in this super long-run scenario. We can basically see what happens next without worrying too much most of the time and I think for the most part anxiety brings us answers that aren't helpful or aren't what we want. The more you worry the more you'll worry is pretty much the sum of things in my opinion and you'll gradually become more and more divorced from reality. You'll even risk lapsing into a psychosis if you worry too much and you'll start dosing yourself with prescription drugs like benzodiazapines and/or stimulants which honestly will just exacerbate psychosis assuming you don't already have psychosis you might even develop psychosis.

There are a lot of people out there who I think feel sometimes like me. Like for instance my dad is a multi-millionaire with a really ferociously high IQ and not much history of drug use to decipher and I don't think he shows many of the signs of addiction. But we've been at odds for a long time because for instance I spent a lot of money by withdrawing cash or some shit like that. So naturally it's all going toward a sort of isolated drug-use existence where I'm using a lot of potent substances and I think that's probably how he sees it.

The friction can get pretty intense sometimes and I dunno if he's partially inoculated or whatever. My parents were pretty cool pretty successful members of the upper middle class when they had a kid and it got run over by a car immediately. So they're pretty old like 70 and I dunno how much they relate to my life since I'm adopted. I feel like they do care a bit about stuff but then there are times where I feel like "yeah this is kind of awkward". For instance I was on this really, really prescribed rigid course of anti-depressants for a while which felt kind of militant like if I don't take these antipsychotics every day absolutely on time then I'll probably lose everything and end up living on the streets.

I guess I was thinking something resentful like you should probably try to be helpful here regarding what my parents actions should have been. Like I'm reasonably intelligent and you have more than enough resources so what's the deal that I can't receive a subsidy or something somewhat straightforward to give me some encouragement so I don't blow my fucking brains out because you're getting elderly don't really have any other interests to my knowledge and maybe you're confused somehow. I dunno it's apparently a pretty convoluted story about how and why but like when you're in a hospital psychological facility on court order it can feel a lot worse than prison in that you have just enough agency to realize you're not 100% helpless. But then again appealing to outside help isn't necessarily effective when you're faced with a situation where people think you're possibly compromised in your mental operation.

It's hard to say I guess I cured myself after six years of big problems regarding drugs I wasn't using by overdosing on 1g of cough syrup. so that felt kind of awkward like how strange that I had paranoia depression and schizophrenia (which is a disorder that is either deliberately misunderstood or somehow not publicized correctly). Personally I think it has to do with what some thinkers call "reality tunnels" and the possibility that the world is sort of mind-dependent. Like does human consciousness generate its own reality? It probably does but then again what about stuff that isn't directly a function of human consciousness. Could a computer be conscious or a bunch of sand dunes be conscious? I don't think there's much evidence for consciousness of 3D environments, and I don't even think this is a popular hypothesis. So what is schizophrenia anyway and why does latency exist? I dunno not much latency exists in intrapersonal human communication but I guess if you were sitting the Taj Mahal reading Vogue you'd have a lot of time to think about things that were largely irrelevant.

Yea so to conclude I guess I'd say that I think a lot of people are paranoid about drugs because they increase the role of human causal efficacy in a way that we don't understand. But can we really understand the need to increase human causal efficacy in some cases? Maybe but then it seems to be too late.

lol?

Weird maybe you simply don't understand at your stage of life. But yea to speak directly to the issue what I was gonna say about drugs is that sometimes there's a rational time to use drugs like anti-depressants. On the other hand I think there are sometimes reasons to consider an addiction an addiction like when someone is abusing really powerful substances like heroine.

So speaking to society more directly, if it's rational to use a drug like an anti-depressant or even marijuana then you're not allowed to for some reason that isn't articulated. It can be really confusing to be faced with an inarticulate reason to use or not using something especially when the reason is coming from someone else. Like you should certainly use anti-depressants every day you need anti-depressants but in the event that you can't use them because someone else is threatening you that your liver could for instance collapse if you didn't use the anti-depressants then you might start to get anxious.

Theoretically if you were anxious for long enough about the same thing the problem would eventually correct itself. It's not like a super vital issue of course but my point is that if anti-depressants are necessary to your function and for whatever reason you're anxious then you may not be able to rid yourself or your anxieties regarding the need to refill your medication. I dunno if that's even a personal interest or just something facing the social context and that I felt like mentioning in a sort of direct way. But yeah it's really weird when someone in a position of authority (or even the position itself) is all like, "no, you really can't/shouldn't/ought not to use these SSRIs." Like I'm not obviously in a position to say that you're wrong or to explain why you might be wrong in some counterintuitive way that defies the usual claims. And so it's a sort of articulate issue where we don't want to cause too much trouble because that might backfire.

Like there seems to be a real world rubberbanding effect that does either frighten or cause people to act in an excited way. If you're constantly pressuring the same point or the same issue in a sort of agitated anxious way as though this particular change needs to be effected then it causes problems. A sort of resounding silence issues and remains for an indefinite time as the world simply doesn't accommodate the change immediately. It's weird how the real world is like a rainforest and often digging and digging somehow reroutes the stream you were trying to channel. Suddenly the whole thing collapses and then a millennium later (which is a fairly short time) a better stream happens somewhere else under the canopy a few miles away at a different angle.

Yea there are a lot of atemporal phenomena that don't explain themselves very readily. Are they just too difficult to change in a timely fashion and how do you want to change them? We seem to prioritize maybe like 3 things that definitely can't fail and then they don't. So then later the changes we want to effect are effected but maybe not in the way that we wanted the changes to occur and that can be relatively unintuitive. I'm not really sure what the real life span of a human is probably 20 years maybe 30. But it's a fairly short relatively to what most people concern themselves with.

Sometimes the easiest thing to do is to communicate but communication is weird. A lot of people are confused with the "nice one Einstein" line we get so frequently. Is it really true that stuff is faster / slower than light or can only travel at the rate of a light ray striking the eye of the right person at the right time. And what's the difficulty there perhaps it's not so obvious.

You know like I've never taken LSD but how many people have taken LSD? You know I'm not gonna get into this now but I think that the human agency is pretty conscious in a way that's really good but it's also not really that good from the perspective that you might be not in harmony with the terrestrial environment in the usual fashion.

Cricketer12

United States13972 Posts

June 26 2016 04:30 GMT

On June 24 2016 15:53 YokoKano wrote:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBH97ma9YiI&index=6&list=PLkSTq_iV1ZIAX-TtjbjNY7YRHD7ULqYC9

lol thx I think I'm completely normal almost totally completely normal so whatever but I appreciate compliments some of the time.

but ya look at the world today it's really weird how it is. people are fascinated with Buddhist comments from ancient elder Asia before Hinduism ever happened and way before the modern age of Christianity and Muhammad and all that. Even though we identify with science or math or some kind of new-age rational discourse on the way the world actually is (even though it isn't anything like that)

But yeah we're absorbed completely in this Mongolian perspective like "eating shit and dying" is the real solution. (Which is a really bizarre standpoint, especially I think if you take it in perspective with stuff like Dawkins and the Selfish Gene). And consider also like what "objectively agreeable and *motivating*" perspectives actually absorb the greater human society today. It's all basically Dawkins and the Selfish Gene, Hawking and scientific "Theory of Time" and some lesser known psychological stuff that's either too occult to make sense or too malleable to possibly be relevant.

Yeah in my opinion like consider why do people use marijuana (which is really pretty popular today, I guess?) I dunno I think marijuana is even almost legal like you can just buy it with money in some places. So why do people use drugs like Marijauana and even really radical brain-altering substances like LSD? Well, the simple answer is to perceive the world accurately and not make silly mistakes. But what kind of silly mistakes do humans make?

Just obvious ones really like "Oh we have these five senses (and that's it) -- I sure hope these five senses can perceive enough of the world and put it in perspective so that I don't do stupid shit." But then it turns out that actually the five human senses are about as good being a honey bee. And actually this isn't as surprising as it appears. Sure humans have built pretty much everything in the world we care about from the Himalayas to the Entire State Building, Sears Towers, Pyramids, and Blizzard, StarCraft, chess, strip-mining and industrial agricultural farming. So that's all we care about and that's all stuff we made so since that's what we care about and we're able to make the stuff we care about then there really isn't that much more to explain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5CVsCnxyXg&index=9&list=PLkSTq_iV1ZIAX-TtjbjNY7YRHD7ULqYC9

Sure, you can always contest: "Well here's Earth, and I guess Earth occupies about 1/999,000,000,000,000% of the known universe (which isn't very much volumetrically). And Earth has been here for like 1/5th the lifespan of the known universe and humans live for about 1/1,000,000,000 the lifespan of Earth... So sure we know jackshit about it unless our detection devices are really sophisticated (and maybe they are compared to ants). But on the other hand maybe human sense-perception and our intellectual capacity to detect stuff is like completely nonsense and is almost as bad as data can get. So in other words maybe our five senses are completely misleading and if we ever met a real Protoss species or something we'd probably be like "WTF we're fucking retarded and completely hopelessly wrong plz guide us oh great Protozzz warriorz."

But I guess that isn't a very helpful perspective. I dunno it could be helpful not in a humbling sense that you'll lose all motivation and decide life just isn't for you because I guess that's sort of a taboo perspective. Luckily not most people suffer from any form of depression or disillusionment. Life would sure suck if everyone was depressed or convinced they were hopelessly retarded. So you can see pretty clearly why luckily most people aren't like that. From an evolutionary perspective the whole humanity would probably completely eliminate itself if we had the general outlook that we were hopelessly retarded and incapable of appreciating any of the universal beauty. So yeah humans could never evolve that way that we were all in a state of endless ennui and depression and deeply felt confusion. It just contradicts the whole evolutionary perspective if psychology means anything at all, and I mean, personally I think psychology is pretty important as an aspect of human nature.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH_ALFxuBZE&list=PLkSTq_iV1ZIAX-TtjbjNY7YRHD7ULqYC9&index=10

So I dunno it depends heavily on what you think about how humans operate; what motivates us and what we believe motivates us. These are pretty different questions. For instance you might say something like, "Are we really motivated by the subconscious driving forces that constitute our motivation?" It might be completely obvious that we reject the subconscious driving elements and that the reality of cognitive dissonance is actually the guiding force in our "collective mind". I have no idea if anything like a collective mind could even exist. On the other hand I think a human brain is pretty weird and not at all unlike a sort of compartmentalized collective consciousness. Which isn't really different from an anthill or beehive or some kind of insectoid corporate entity that evolved with intent to survive. And I guess that pretty accurately describes a variety of insectoid species and the sort of corporate society that encapsulates the "higher meaning" of their existence (if that's really what a higher meaning is).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG_iD8epJag&list=PLkSTq_iV1ZIAX-TtjbjNY7YRHD7ULqYC9&index=7

Hmm well like personally I think I'm a pretty interesting person. For instance a lot of people think I've used a lot of drugs because "oh you've got schizophrenia and that's usually drug induced" or "oh you've got depression and that's usually drug induced" or "oh you've got some kind of weird paranoia and that's usually drug induced."

But honestly (and maybe importantly lol) I haven't done many drugs, but most people in my life are afraid that I've done tons of drugs. I have no idea how they arrive at that conclusion considering like for instance my parents bankroll most of my life and are pretty influential people.

I mean I've probably smoked less than 2 ounces of marijuana in my life and never done anything stronger than 1g of mushroom once and 3g of psilocybin twice (but I was on SSRIs so it didn't really do anything psychedelic etc.)

But yea my parents psychologists, guardians, psychiatrists think I've done all these drugs and that's why I have psychological problems. My own answer is that it's just the opposite. Some drugs, at least the ones that are clinically effective like cannabis sativa are a lot like running Windows 10 update on your computer. I dunno why people don't talk more openly about this stuff I guess it's because they're afraid they'll be imprisoned, disconnected or placed in some kind of lock down like an asylum.

This is a pretty real fear as you'll find out. For instance I was put in a hospital psych ward for 45 days because I threw papers out a car window while my mom was driving me home from an appointment. My mom then called the psychiatrist and I was arrested while I was in the shower and taken to the hospital under court order, etc. Then forcible injections of stuff that turns you into a retarded internet-disconnected zombie dummie. I dunno how long the hospital stay was supposed to last but I was pretty angry about the way things went down because I didn't think I needed to be there in the first place and so I yelled at the doctors and walked up and down the hallways when I wasn't allowed to. You can get in a lot of trouble for walking up and down the hallways in a psych ward (especially when you're not allowed to walk up and down the hallways).

I dunno much about the drugs they use, and since I don't believe in collective psychology or any kind of human-related phenomenon akin to a hive mind or anthill. I guess if you have friends or loved ones or family then the drugs for psychosis can be a lot more harmful than good. After all humans aren't psychic and I think we all know that there is no Protoss khala bond lol. The fact that literally no one ever recovers from using even the most effective modern anti-psychotics isn't really evidence of anything, to be honest. It's like yea, there could be this big mysterious cognitive-only or mind-only universe out there, but there's no reason to believe in anything like that.

And what if there was this big psychic space where all your friends and family and every relationship you've ever had existed? Cutting you off from that would only improve your chances of being cured and I mean that's pretty obvious. But since there is no evidence of anything like that and the only people who believe in that kind of stuff are sort of nutjobs to begin with it's a problem. I dunno my doctor is a pretty competent military guy. In this case I'd say it's pretty lucky I got this particular doctor he's a pretty good person and it's not like I feel any ill will toward him.

Military strategists are probably familiar with computers and how to use them but it's not like a retired veteran is gonna believe he's being checked on 24/7. Plus he's not being checked on 24/7 so there's no reason to believe that he could be. There are some possibly pertinent questions of consciousness, mind, and digital integration. Like could your mind end up on the internet? Sure some day probably if we had really powerful computers, wireless networks, and satellites rotating around the Earth with millions of tons of quantum supercomputing surveillance equipment. But let's face it that wouldn't effect anyone other than members of the CIA and probably fucking David Kim, Mike Morhaime and Bill Gates, essentially just people who are influential, powerful, and rich enough to purchase access to some kind of ornate Gundam Wing Zero System.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5CVsCnxyXg&list=PLkSTq_iV1ZIAX-TtjbjNY7YRHD7ULqYC9&index=9

But again I'm an Apple computer fan, and I think that Bill Gates is a chauvinist capitalist pig who got really lucky building something that sucks and cutting a bunch of corners so that everything fails in this almost ingenuously frustrating counterintuitive way. Actually I don't think Windows bears any semblance at all to the real world. I'm constantly amazed that Windows is suddenly making children's games... I think the Facebook movie is a way better depiction of the way the world is. Sucks that the Jewish guy retired thought. I liked Zuckerburg a lot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEsgUiF2jGk&index=3&list=PLkSTq_iV1ZIAX-TtjbjNY7YRHD7ULqYC9

So strictly speaking I see this one psychiatrist who used to be part of the military and if there were one thing I'd worry about it's that the military sometimes use stimulants and they can put you into a flight or fight state where you're really good at math but not really good at seeing things long term. Dunno if that's what I mean when I say long-term versus for instance short-term, or rational self-interest to the exclusion of some potential deviations from an apparently inflexible protocol. I really have no idea what psychiatrists are like but there seem to be roughly two types (suicidal cases who want to help people who are suicidal) and people who are rigidly disciplined but otherwise pretty healthy.

Anyway my own experience has been pretty bad with the medication used to treat mental conditions and I think it's just unique to my own psychology and my close attachments to a close-knit small group of people who I call up on occasion. I don't mean the real world and the people in the real world cease to exist when you use anti-psychotic medication. In that sense it's not way different than stimulants which are also pretty popular. LOL I guess I mentioned this in the OP but yea a lot of RTS gamers and even some FPS guys use stims to help them do stuff. For people who haven't used these drugs stimulants can definitely disconnect you somewhat from your fellow man and society. It's easy to pick up girls though. On the other hand converting your brain into a very close simulation of a human-built information processing unit has a lot of advantages too.

Look for instances at the Middle East, Jerusalem and Islamic society. It reminds me of a sort of weird line that has nothing to do with that place, but it's in a song by the band TOOL (which is kind of edgy music I guess), anyway the line is "Like phosphorescent desert buttons, cool as our new second sun." This has nothing at all to do with anything from mind-dependence of reality to some kind of thoughts about stimulant use and the emergence of cooperation in religion. Actually it has nothing to do with the military or stimulants or computers or anything the middle east is just a cluster fuck and i doubt anything in the middle east is ever going to change virtually ever and people are doing their best over there anyway the reality of the situation just doesn't make sense to the evolved human.

Actually I think drugs are pretty uncommon in Jewish culture and especially Islamic culture which is really heavy into anti-drug use and not using or abusing psychedelics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKNxeF4KMsY

Hinduism is a lot different too. Luckily they're not in a desert.

HMM. WELL ANYWAY. TO QUOTE MY GOOD FRIEND CROWLEY AND ALL CAPITAL LETTERS LET ME GET BACK TO THE MAIN POINT OF WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT SO SHREWDLY IN MY VAGUELY FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHIAN TONE.

So, about my own life my personal experience with drugs is that people get really sensitive on some drugs. Like if you've ever smoked cannabis sativa it's sort of an almost electric high where you get really sensitive to what other people are feeling and communication becomes roughly more fluid in a highly fluid highly electric environment. The problem though is that if you ever use cannabis sativa (which is like 100% safe) with people who had experience with rarer and harder drugs like MDMA which can be even addictive in some contexts... In these rare occurrences and maybe a few other similar situations you can even "download" or kinda experience other people's feelings of hopelessness or in other cases even anxiety.

I dunno how paranoia emerges in drug users. I think it has something to do with communication, but drugs help a lot with communication, at least the benign drugs like tobacco, cannabis sativa, cannabis indica and fairly safe drugs like benzodiazepines (but personally I think benzos are kinda dangerous and can reduce your chance of evaluating your priorities for living the good life).

Anyway for me I got kinda paranoid because my friend got super high for like a year and then decided there might be more to life than the physical form so he just randomly killed himself while we were all hanging out. lol what a moron there's obviously nothing like that.

So a lot of people from my parents to my friends to my award-winning clinical psychologist to my psychiatrist can't understand why I experience paranoia and they attribute it to overdosing on marijuana which is surprisingly wrong since I never smoked more than 2 ounces in 29 years lol. It was probably something else would have been my guess. It's always weird when something somewhat unexpected happens unexpectedly in a really unexpected context where it doesn't fit.

I mean the collective mind-hypothesis is an interesting one, at least for military personnel and shit like that. Yeah I mean realistically with electrodes MRI and cloning we can probably hope to see some kind of augmentation to the human psyche like you were some kind of fucking Azande living in a rainforest listening to the somewhat chill vibes from some kind of Toucan. personally I think a lot of my friends regarded me as legendarily mentally stable if somewhat prone to bouts of depression but not radical in any way. So it's as mysterious to me why these things happen as it is to anyone else, and I don't think I have trouble talking about it in a way that seems appropriate. I really rarely think about social context or the relevance of social behavior at all. It's not like a human society is a giant Congo with a bunch of interacting ant-eaters and Africanized honey bees. I have no idea if that's even what I want to say and usually when I don't know what I want to say I don't even talk about it or worry that I'm possibly making a mistake. It's easy enough to just remain silent if you don't know what's going on and there's hardly any pressure in that strategy.

But yeah seriously I think some people especially really intelligent people who are abnormal usually struggle with questions like they think they're an isolated and 'unallied' beehive somewhere on a savannah of a hundred other beehives where none of the beehives can ever agree to not destroy each other in this super long-run scenario. We can basically see what happens next without worrying too much most of the time and I think for the most part anxiety brings us answers that aren't helpful or aren't what we want. The more you worry the more you'll worry is pretty much the sum of things in my opinion and you'll gradually become more and more divorced from reality. You'll even risk lapsing into a psychosis if you worry too much and you'll start dosing yourself with prescription drugs like benzodiazapines and/or stimulants which honestly will just exacerbate psychosis assuming you don't already have psychosis you might even develop psychosis.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvgZkm1xWPE

There are a lot of people out there who I think feel sometimes like me. Like for instance my dad is a multi-millionaire with a really ferociously high IQ and not much history of drug use to decipher and I don't think he shows many of the signs of addiction. But we've been at odds for a long time because for instance I spent a lot of money by withdrawing cash or some shit like that. So naturally it's all going toward a sort of isolated drug-use existence where I'm using a lot of potent substances and I think that's probably how he sees it.

The friction can get pretty intense sometimes and I dunno if he's partially inoculated or whatever. My parents were pretty cool pretty successful members of the upper middle class when they had a kid and it got run over by a car immediately. So they're pretty old like 70 and I dunno how much they relate to my life since I'm adopted. I feel like they do care a bit about stuff but then there are times where I feel like "yeah this is kind of awkward". For instance I was on this really, really prescribed rigid course of anti-depressants for a while which felt kind of militant like if I don't take these antipsychotics every day absolutely on time then I'll probably lose everything and end up living on the streets.

I guess I was thinking something resentful like you should probably try to be helpful here regarding what my parents actions should have been. Like I'm reasonably intelligent and you have more than enough resources so what's the deal that I can't receive a subsidy or something somewhat straightforward to give me some encouragement so I don't blow my fucking brains out because you're getting elderly don't really have any other interests to my knowledge and maybe you're confused somehow. I dunno it's apparently a pretty convoluted story about how and why but like when you're in a hospital psychological facility on court order it can feel a lot worse than prison in that you have just enough agency to realize you're not 100% helpless. But then again appealing to outside help isn't necessarily effective when you're faced with a situation where people think you're possibly compromised in your mental operation.

It's hard to say I guess I cured myself after six years of big problems regarding drugs I wasn't using by overdosing on 1g of cough syrup. so that felt kind of awkward like how strange that I had paranoia depression and schizophrenia (which is a disorder that is either deliberately misunderstood or somehow not publicized correctly). Personally I think it has to do with what some thinkers call "reality tunnels" and the possibility that the world is sort of mind-dependent. Like does human consciousness generate its own reality? It probably does but then again what about stuff that isn't directly a function of human consciousness. Could a computer be conscious or a bunch of sand dunes be conscious? I don't think there's much evidence for consciousness of 3D environments, and I don't even think this is a popular hypothesis. So what is schizophrenia anyway and why does latency exist? I dunno not much latency exists in intrapersonal human communication but I guess if you were sitting the Taj Mahal reading Vogue you'd have a lot of time to think about things that were largely irrelevant.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EELBEhEpk2I

Yea so to conclude I guess I'd say that I think a lot of people are paranoid about drugs because they increase the role of human causal efficacy in a way that we don't understand. But can we really understand the need to increase human causal efficacy in some cases? Maybe but then it seems to be too late.

lol?

Weird maybe you simply don't understand at your stage of life. But yea to speak directly to the issue what I was gonna say about drugs is that sometimes there's a rational time to use drugs like anti-depressants. On the other hand I think there are sometimes reasons to consider an addiction an addiction like when someone is abusing really powerful substances like heroine.

So speaking to society more directly, if it's rational to use a drug like an anti-depressant or even marijuana then you're not allowed to for some reason that isn't articulated. It can be really confusing to be faced with an inarticulate reason to use or not using something especially when the reason is coming from someone else. Like you should certainly use anti-depressants every day you need anti-depressants but in the event that you can't use them because someone else is threatening you that your liver could for instance collapse if you didn't use the anti-depressants then you might start to get anxious.

Theoretically if you were anxious for long enough about the same thing the problem would eventually correct itself. It's not like a super vital issue of course but my point is that if anti-depressants are necessary to your function and for whatever reason you're anxious then you may not be able to rid yourself or your anxieties regarding the need to refill your medication. I dunno if that's even a personal interest or just something facing the social context and that I felt like mentioning in a sort of direct way. But yeah it's really weird when someone in a position of authority (or even the position itself) is all like, "no, you really can't/shouldn't/ought not to use these SSRIs." Like I'm not obviously in a position to say that you're wrong or to explain why you might be wrong in some counterintuitive way that defies the usual claims. And so it's a sort of articulate issue where we don't want to cause too much trouble because that might backfire.

Like there seems to be a real world rubberbanding effect that does either frighten or cause people to act in an excited way. If you're constantly pressuring the same point or the same issue in a sort of agitated anxious way as though this particular change needs to be effected then it causes problems. A sort of resounding silence issues and remains for an indefinite time as the world simply doesn't accommodate the change immediately. It's weird how the real world is like a rainforest and often digging and digging somehow reroutes the stream you were trying to channel. Suddenly the whole thing collapses and then a millennium later (which is a fairly short time) a better stream happens somewhere else under the canopy a few miles away at a different angle.

Yea there are a lot of atemporal phenomena that don't explain themselves very readily. Are they just too difficult to change in a timely fashion and how do you want to change them? We seem to prioritize maybe like 3 things that definitely can't fail and then they don't. So then later the changes we want to effect are effected but maybe not in the way that we wanted the changes to occur and that can be relatively unintuitive. I'm not really sure what the real life span of a human is probably 20 years maybe 30. But it's a fairly short relatively to what most people concern themselves with.

Sometimes the easiest thing to do is to communicate but communication is weird. A lot of people are confused with the "nice one Einstein" line we get so frequently. Is it really true that stuff is faster / slower than light or can only travel at the rate of a light ray striking the eye of the right person at the right time. And what's the difficulty there perhaps it's not so obvious.

You know like I've never taken LSD but how many people have taken LSD? You know I'm not gonna get into this now but I think that the human agency is pretty conscious in a way that's really good but it's also not really that good from the perspective that you might be not in harmony with the terrestrial environment in the usual fashion.

Do you just try to reach the word limit on a single post?

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