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fluffy_pylon
United States79 Posts
so i am going to enter college from september 2015. my parents just told me i can major in anything i want *except that* unless i major in what they want, they won't pay towards my tuition and i will have massive student loans / debt. so it's not really my free choice after all, just an illusion of choice.    | ||
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Chairman Ray
United States11903 Posts
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fluffy_pylon
United States79 Posts
what majors do you parents want, computer science and what major do you want? something else | ||
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Cauld
United States350 Posts
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Chairman Ray
United States11903 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States44322 Posts
On May 05 2015 12:10 Cauld wrote: tell them you're majoring in computer science and take all your gen eds... then switch later Obviously, his parents can still pull funding for the remaining 3+ years of school. Also, most majors have classes that are prerequisites for other classes, and so often times you'll need to take at least one relevant class your freshman year to get the ball rolling on your major (rather than all general education requirement classes). | ||
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fluffy_pylon
United States79 Posts
he also criticizes me because i'm not *as good* at math as he was when he was in high school and college, and he constantly compares me to himself and tells me how much of a failure i am every day. so according to his logic, i will suck at engineering because i suck at math, medicine is not okay because apparently everyone who studies medicine should be a doctor or else they're a coward and he took the MCATs once and didn't do well (which was when he switched to computer science) so he has even lower expectations for me, and business and law are "liberal arts" subjects. therefore at least if i study programming he will "save me" from failing my ass. | ||
micronesia
United States24680 Posts
Anyway, letting them force you to take a major you don't want is going to be a big waste of everyone's time and money. As others have said, try to make a case for another quality major that you actually want. If that doesn't work, in my opinion, you are better off becoming independent than letting your parents pay for a major you don't want. And compsci really isn't something you take unless you like it. | ||
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Jerubaal
United States7684 Posts
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fluffy_pylon
United States79 Posts
On May 05 2015 12:33 micronesia wrote: If he thinks you should avoid engineering because you are bad at math but should be a programmer, then I question his programming... I mean, it's very mathematical in nature.... the way he says it is that engineering is more math oriented while computer science is more logic oriented,, as in something like calculus isn't actually used in programming but is used in engineering. | ||
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Deathstar
9150 Posts
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fluffy_pylon
United States79 Posts
On May 05 2015 12:49 Deathstar wrote: Yeah go with CS. Your dad is a programmer so he'll prob help you get a job if it comes to it. i don't think he'll actually help me get a job. for example he's been working at the same company for 13 years and they offered him a management position and he declined, saying that he would rather do pure programming compared to having to manage other people. this is his perfect opportunity to keep criticizing me and constantly reminding me that i will never reach his level of obsession with his work. he just wants to watch me suffer. | ||
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icydergosu
528 Posts
Although i don't know how much math your other subject might require i think your father is partially correct and speaks from experience, generally you don't need much math, after you got your degree that is, apart from counting up and down unless you want to create earth shattering algorithms. If there is an even more hands on degree like Software Engineering and Business or something like that i would opt for that since the biggest challenge, at least for me, are in fact the math lectures but that will heavily depend on your current skill level and the university you opt for i guess. Having a father with a CS degree who is willing to help you will make things much much easier. Have you already programmed something? What did you not like? Perhaps it should be said as well that during your education programming will only play a rather minor part. So who knows, you might like it more than you think and rise to be a great Software Engineer. | ||
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Jerubaal
United States7684 Posts
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JimmyJRaynor
Canada16702 Posts
On May 05 2015 12:01 fluffy_pylon wrote: this is gonna be short and sweet. so i am going to enter college from september 2015. my parents just told me i can major in anything i want *except that* unless i major in what they want, they won't pay towards my tuition and i will have massive student loans / debt. so it's not really my free choice after all, just an illusion of choice. find a co-op school if u can. take whatever u want.. and pay ur own way. the school i went to ..i only had to save for 8 full months of school 1 time.. every other time i only had to save for 4 months of school time. i was free of parental bullshit a month after i turned 19. it was tough at first.. but it was the best thing for all involved. | ||
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Cambium
United States16368 Posts
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PhoenixVoid
Canada32740 Posts
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FlaShFTW
United States10156 Posts
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ninazerg
United States7291 Posts
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domane
Canada1606 Posts
It could provide a good halfway point (you can decide what to do afterwards) + show your parents your effort. It could lead to a entry-level position that could help pay tuition for a different area of study. | ||
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OtherWorld
France17333 Posts
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Bojas
Netherlands2397 Posts
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coverpunch
United States2093 Posts
Or you could just go through the weeder classes your first year or so, then have a serious conversation with your dad that you don't have the talent or drive to make it, but you've been trying some other things and you feel very strongly about x major. Either way, I would strongly encourage you to find out who the best professors at your school are and take their classes, regardless of subject. I doubled in poli sci and econ, but the best classes I took in university were o-chem and folklore. | ||
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opisska
Poland8852 Posts
User was warned for this post | ||
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Garsecg
United States129 Posts
I think this is an important conversation you should have with your parents if you feel this strongly about this issue. I think you should say "Hey mom and dad, thank you very much for all you've done for me. I really appreciate your support and what you're doing for me by sending me to college. That said.... I'm not sure I want to go into computer science. The truth is, I'm not completely sure what will make me happy, but I do know what won't make me happy, and computer science isn't it." I've had more than one such conversation with my parents, and I think you will find that they have your best intentions at heart while not seeing things AT ALL like you do. Who knows -- they may end up seeing things in a different light and meeting you halfway. By bringing up this issue in a responsible way, I believe you do two things. The first thing is you improve your relationship with your parents. The second thing is you show them that you're a responsible adult that knows how to effectively communicate what is important to them to others, and that you are deserving of having a say in the decisions that will affect your happiness for the rest of your life. TO be clear: I am not passing any judgements on what your parents are doing one way or another, because I don't know you and I don't know them. But I do know that the biggest issue will be you not communicating to them that you're doing something you believe deep in your heart will make you very, very unhappy, and that they do not care. You do not want to put such a burden between your relationship if it can be helped in my opinion. My own issues with my parents are kind of personal, but if you want to PM me I'll share them with you if you want to know why I believe what I believe. I've had a few of these talks and I also ended up dropping out of college after two years to pursue something I was actually happy doing (throwing away all parental $$ and support) and I've never looked back. My parents and I have a great relationship today, and all lines of communication are open. EDIT: Also, I was in your shoes too. My dad has a PhD in CS and would have helped me if I wanted to have done that. But on my dad's side, it was always clear that pursuing what made you happy was more important than living a life others thought you should live. | ||
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Elegy
United States1629 Posts
On May 05 2015 12:55 fluffy_pylon wrote: i don't think he'll actually help me get a job. for example he's been working at the same company for 13 years and they offered him a management position and he declined, saying that he would rather do pure programming compared to having to manage other people. this is his perfect opportunity to keep criticizing me and constantly reminding me that i will never reach his level of obsession with his work. he just wants to watch me suffer. rofl wtf No, he doesn't want you to suffer. He wants to pay for a degree that will actually get you a job when you graduate. If that's suffering, shoot me now. Is it what you want to do? Nope. Is it the best choice for you? Nope. But from his point of view, he clearly feels (and perhaps correctly) that you should get a degree in a hot field where you're guaranteed to get a job, vs. something that you're not. Just do GE shit for the first couple of years and then switch majors later, or double major. I know plenty of kids that double majored CS and something more passionate for them. It was a fucking nightmare, but they did it. | ||
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hazdur
United States19 Posts
My advice: have a plan and do what you want. Finding the job you want is probably as important, if not more important, than getting through school. I studied computer science because I was good at it, and just wanted to get through school. College is what, four years? You know what happens after that? Four more years, and then four more years, and then four more, and at that point you're still in your 30s. If you think you want to do X, then try it out as soon as you can. If programming (or whatever) isn't fun for you now, it probably won't be fun from 9 to 5 for the next 13 years. Paying for college might be more doable than you think. If you're over 24, you can probably get a Pell Grant, because you don't have to report your parents' income when applying. A degree from a community college is... not that bad. A lot of bosses don't care about the name of the school. You could haggle with your parents. You know what's easy and makes money without knowing math? Geology. (As long as you don't mind working for an oil company.) Your Father probably never even considered that. There are so many different jobs out there. You might not see them, but you have options. | ||
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Chocolate
United States2350 Posts
I doubt your dad would actually be that upset if you wanted to study something with good job prospects other than CS (like EE, chemical/petroleum engineering, etc.). You should talk to him about it. I would bring facts and figures with you to do so, I bet your dad would like that. If you just want to major in "not CS" then I don't blame your dad for not wanting to pay, I would be extremely reluctant to drop tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars in tuition for my child to get a degree in something potentially relatively useless. | ||
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helpman170
34 Posts
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URfavHO
United States514 Posts
I ended up graduating from a state school with an Applied Math degree. If you can get through calculus, then getting an Applied Math degree is pretty easy as long as you pick an easy emphasis. For me, I picked an emphasis in Economics and Actuarial Science. Graduated with a GPA below 3, learned next to nothing, worked an internship for a year after graduating, passed a couple Actuarial Exams, and now I'm employed as an Actuarial Assistant. EZPZ. | ||
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HaRuHi
1220 Posts
Maybe you would be more happy moving to the other end of the country and starting your own pool cleaning service while working at a strip club. They say you can't choose your family, but really, just try and see. Best of luck to you. | ||
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Powerpill
United States1692 Posts
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FFGenerations
7088 Posts
i think many game dev courses are harder to get into than regular compsci courses.... (you can show him the curriculum/grades required are higher) at the end of the day you should probably do whatever he pays for, you don't NEED to become some mega nerd, you can do the minimum and figure out whatever it is you really want to do on the side and just switch to that later on nothing is more important than getting a degree asap tho you will fail whatever he or you choose unless you quit/control your vidya games so deal with that first | ||
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ahswtini
Northern Ireland22208 Posts
On May 05 2015 16:31 ninazerg wrote: You should follow your dream of becoming a gynecologist. L M A O  | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32051 Posts
On May 06 2015 04:18 URfavHO wrote: If you don't know what to do, I would advise not wasting thousands of dollars failing out of a CS program. agreed entirely. that's fine you don't wnana do cs, but you seem to have no idea what you want to do outside of maybe engineering but you also suck at math so forget that | ||
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Alakaslam
United States17336 Posts
I am uneducated and ineligible for loans. I therefore have had to work until now, when I will try to get a Business Management degree as cheaply as possible to go work for a farm. And there's no guarantee someone else won't come take that spot either. Life can suck, be glad yours is far from being the worst (helps me deal with my little struggle a lot to think of how blessed I am to have found work! :D). It is really unfortunate to hear of your parents opinions of your performance. Don't get stuck on a dream. I was obsessed with becoming an airline pilot, and this left me really clueless and plan-less when I discovered that it simply will never be a reality. On May 05 2015 18:58 OtherWorld wrote: Studying in the US sounds complicated The universe is a big place!  Be glad you are in Europe, where there are not millions of criminals motivated by ___________ to be douchebags even before they graduate from high school. If there weren't so many serious violent criminals here, we could be like Sweden and pay most or all of all citizen's higher education. Or Frankly? If we just cleaned up our govt. in general- without even going socialistic and raising taxes and whatnot. America is full of loads of corruption. | ||
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