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I wasn't in control of my life until my first year of college (last year). I assume this is the case for most people simply because you generally make more decisions at this point: whether or not you want to go to college, where to go, what classes to take, etc. I was fortunate enough to be able to go relatively far away from my home, the Boston area, down to D.C. I really felt the responsibility and freedom of being so removed from my foundation (high school friends, family, and lifelong neighbors).
I say I was fortunate enough because, even though I didn't realize it at first, I came to understand how little control I had over my whole life. What I did with my time was dictated by the standard 6 hour school day. What I ate was a decision my parents made. Just about anything you can think of was dictated by some law, my parents, the school, or any combination of those. Now that I'm 18, legally an adult, far away from my parents most of the time, and not being over watched by anyone, I'm a lot happier. I've taken control.
I can eat as healthy as I want. I can balance my time going to the gym, studying, playing Starcraft, hanging out, and doing just about anything without having to worry about other obligations imposed upon me. Sure, I have things to do for classes, but I chose those classes and I'm genuinely interested in them (most of the time). With this freedom I've been able to become the person I want to be and focus on whatever it is I feel like focusing on in that moment. I'm sure not everyone feels this way after going through their first year of college and I'm sure some people feel this way earlier.
I had a few friends in high school who were really in control, so much so that I worried about them. These were the kids whose parents couldn't possibly track them down, the kids who knew what they wanted to do and did it without letting anyone get in their way. I admire that, especially because it took me a lot longer to be this way, but was it too early? So I guess I just ended up saying "hey, taking control of your life is awesome, do that, but I don't know when..." which is okay I guess. Maybe it's different for everyone.
I'm glad I am where I am right now and I'm glad I'm doing the things I'm doing. I think that's a good sign. For a while I thought I was destined to just do what other people wanted me to do. I though my life would be forever dictated by someone other than me, but college came and I took control. Hell, it was about time. 
 
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United States4883 Posts
And then, about the third or the fourth year into college, you realize that you have no control over your life and you suck at it lol.
And then you ACTUALLY grow up, take control of your life, start losing that 40 pounds you gained, and making good life choices. At least, that's how it is for a lot of people (myself included). Also, the introduction of monthly bills (MULTIPLE monthly bills), loan repayments, and credit card debts all come together to make you a much more responsible human being. Eventually.
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^ haha indeed.
Welcome to the rest of your life OP! I know exactly how you feel because I was exactly the same. I'm originally from New Mexico. After graduating HS, I said HELL NO to staying in state, and went to school in California. Best decision ever.
Enjoy college!
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On July 08 2014 05:45 SC2John wrote:
the introduction of monthly bills (MULTIPLE monthly bills), loan repayments, and credit card debts all come together to make you a much more responsible human being. Eventually.
I dread the introduction of monthly bills and all that stuff but yeah, it seems like we adapt to new challenges/responsibilities. Or at least, we hopefully adapt.
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I'm one of those kids you mentioned. I guess I'm more so now, one of those that just goes after whatever, but I can tell you that even kids like that who are "driven" or whatever still have the faults you described. I definitely have at least a few of those. It's really cool that your journey has been so positive, I hope your fruits will continue to fall dude.
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Freedom is a bit different from control.
And freedom doesn't happen until you actually realize your own mortality.
And control doesn't happen until you hit rock bottom.
'Til then you're just deluding yourself.
Well, at least that's how it was for me.
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On July 08 2014 05:45 SC2John wrote:
And then, about the third or the fourth year into college, you realize that you have no control over your life and you suck at it lol.
And then you ACTUALLY grow up, take control of your life, start losing that 40 pounds you gained, and making good life choices. At least, that's how it is for a lot of people (myself included). Also, the introduction of monthly bills (MULTIPLE monthly bills), loan repayments, and credit card debts all come together to make you a much more responsible human being. Eventually.
Does anyone think there is a way of making that happen sooner? Hopefully without the debt issue?
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Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
On July 08 2014 05:45 SC2John wrote:
And then, about the third or the fourth year into college, you realize that you have no control over your life and you suck at it lol.
And then you ACTUALLY grow up, take control of your life, start losing that 40 pounds you gained, and making good life choices. At least, that's how it is for a lot of people (myself included). Also, the introduction of monthly bills (MULTIPLE monthly bills), loan repayments, and credit card debts all come together to make you a much more responsible human being. Eventually.
And then you realize you have no control over your life your just working pay check to pay check, paying off bills running your kids here there and everywhere, trying to organize stuff for it to be hit with unexpected birthdays or trips to Drs and then before you know it your going to a funeral every week.
Then, you retire and the process repeats again, but for it then to repeat one last time when you enter retirement homes and you cannot do anything and you look forward to that one day a week you see your family.
The End :D
But in less emo fashion, welcome to the first step of freedom you have realized. Im glad your enjoying your education and your knew found life. Enjoy it, get good grades and enjoy the new booming Murica economy!
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doubleupgradeobbies!
Australia1353 Posts
On July 08 2014 15:20 SwatRaven wrote:Show nested quote +On July 08 2014 05:45 SC2John wrote:
And then, about the third or the fourth year into college, you realize that you have no control over your life and you suck at it lol.
And then you ACTUALLY grow up, take control of your life, start losing that 40 pounds you gained, and making good life choices. At least, that's how it is for a lot of people (myself included). Also, the introduction of monthly bills (MULTIPLE monthly bills), loan repayments, and credit card debts all come together to make you a much more responsible human being. Eventually. Does anyone think there is a way of making that happen sooner? Hopefully without the debt issue?
Find yourself a cause you are passionate about and go about seriously trying to further that cause. Having responsibility, unsurprisingly, is what ends up making you responsible. Doing just about anything you are invested in makes you come to terms with responsibility.
If you put yourself in a position of responsibility often enough, you become responsible (generally). The reason I say find a cause, is because most of us aren't really motivated to seek out responsibility (cos why would you want to?), so you need some kind of emotional/intellectual/economic investment in order to induce attachment rather than just walking away (like the exact opposite of being responsible).
Bills and debts are really just a symptom of this. Most people are pretty invested in their own financial well being. Having to pay bills is a responsibility, so their investment pushes them to fulfill the responsibility, they become responsible.
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On July 08 2014 05:45 SC2John wrote:
And then, about the third or the fourth year into college, you realize that you have no control over your life and you suck at it lol.
And then you ACTUALLY grow up, take control of your life, start losing that 40 pounds you gained, and making good life choices. At least, that's how it is for a lot of people (myself included). Also, the introduction of monthly bills (MULTIPLE monthly bills), loan repayments, and credit card debts all come together to make you a much more responsible human being. Eventually.
Eventually is optimisic
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OP, enjoy control, freedom, your new life all you want... but stay away from credit cards!!!!!!!!!!! and smoking.
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OP, I am a 7th year college student who is 26 (super,super senior), and I still haven't figured out my life yet. But I'm a weirdo, so I think I can be separated from most people on that scale
So I do not think there is any rush for you to figure everything out. I just think if you focus on what is important (which sometimes can be hard to tell what is), you will achieve what you want to achieve.
I wish you the best. I know it's tough to figure out everything.
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EPT
