To: All current employees, From: North Pole, Inc. Subject: Please
Take a minute of your day to read within. It will convey
How the biyearly revision of our Elf and Safety vision
Will affect your timely mission to pack presents on the sleigh.
First, those employed to carol: please henceforth avoid apparel
That suggests perhaps radar’ll pick up Santa’s speeding trace.
While we know you’re only jesting, we cannot condone suggesting
Father Christmas has a backside that is visible from space.
Last, it came to our attention there is some misapprehension
Re: nutritional convention as pertains to ruminants.
The plain and simple fact is: it is not accepted practice
To feed reindeer shots of Jack; this is a sackable offence!