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[Kid-Blog] How to lose a kid

Blogs > Burrfoot
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1 2 3 Next All
Burrfoot
Profile Blog Joined July 2012
United States1176 Posts
August 20 2013 02:39 GMT
#1
Finally happened in the self-serve section of Ikea (a swedish furniture chain popular-ish to poor americans and college students). We're standing there arguing that since the color of EXPEDIT shelf was out of stock if we should buy the black color or whatnot. We probably stood there blanking starring at the empty pallet for 10 seconds then turn around to not see the kid anywhere.

Of course the first thing we do is yell his name and assume this situation would definitely be the first time he ever responds to our yelling. After 45 seconds of walking up and down the isle, I'm starting to get annoyed; and the wife is in full-on panic mode.

Here's the layout of the self-serve section: star is where we were at
[image loading]

So now she's screaming up the aisle asking everyone if they're seen a little mexican baby, and I'm bending over running trying to see down the aisles. I think I saw a glimmer of his shirt down towards aisle 2 and since the wife was running down towards the odds, decide just to head towards 2 by jumping over the boxes of unassembled furniture
[image loading]
(I'm the yellow star!)

After getting a few shocked looks as I jumped out from behind the boxes, I am sure I heard a giggle from the next aisle. Two more aisles over as I jump out into the aisle, someone say to me "He just went thru there!". Unfortunately, the opening the lady was pointing at was too small for me, so I had to run half up the aisle to find a spot to crawl thru. I finally spot him at the far end, and decide to snap this blurry photo to text the wife:

[image loading]

I finally nab him and spank his booty, and put him on my head and start slowly walking back towards where we left the stroller (assuming the wife will read the text). Of course she didn't, by the time I walk back from aisle 14 to 34 and strap him into the stroller (screaming of course) I hear the overhead announcer say to look out for a lone toddler. By the time I near the center, the tortured screams from the cart had reached the wife and speed walks over and punches me for no reason.

Long story short, he is getting a leash (and ice cream)
[image loading]

**
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/Davlok-1847/career
FuDDx *
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States5014 Posts
August 20 2013 02:48 GMT
#2
O good god a leash ......That is all I am saying on that subject.


It must be pretty insane to loss your child. So far so good here ones 14 and one almost 7. Good Luck.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Balloon-Man-FuDD/237447769616965?ref=hl
itsjustatank
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Hong Kong9169 Posts
August 20 2013 03:06 GMT
#3
a leash seems like a horrible overreaction to this. is this your child or a dog we are talking about?
Photographer"nosotros estamos backamos" - setsuko
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-20 03:24:19
August 20 2013 03:21 GMT
#4
GPS track your spawn. Leashes are for dogs.
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
Ikidomari
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Australia485 Posts
August 20 2013 04:42 GMT
#5
As someone who works retail 30 hours at the same time as attending university, I can say that parents who put their kids on a leash are my favourite people, and people who let their kids do whatever they want, well.. I'm wont saying I'm not not going to murder some of them.
Just break the rules, and you see the truth.
Rollin
Profile Joined March 2011
Australia1552 Posts
August 20 2013 04:49 GMT
#6
What's wrong with a leash? Nothing quite as good as a little discipline in your formative years .
Throw off those chains of reason, and your prison disappears. | Check your posting frequency timeline: http://www.teamliquid.net/mytlnet/post_activity_img.php
Fumanchu
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Canada669 Posts
August 20 2013 05:00 GMT
#7
As soon as you enter a store, give your kid a small piece of a chocolate bar. Tell him he can have the rest later. He'll annoy the crap out of you by asking for the rest like every 5 seconds, but at least he won't wander off.
Easy doesnt fit into grownup life.
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-20 06:04:19
August 20 2013 05:27 GMT
#8
By the time I near the center, the tortured screams from the cart had reached the wife and speed walks over and punches me for no reason.

What an interesting reaction. Does she usually punch people when she's stressed?
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
Capped
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United Kingdom7236 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-20 06:22:25
August 20 2013 06:22 GMT
#9
You people..He isnt talking about a collar and leash around the neck rofl. There are specific "baby walker" leashes that are like a harness around him that just stays attached to you / in your hand so the child cant wander off too far.

They are actually very very helpful and humane.

Chocolate bar idea is #1 protip.
Useless wet fish.
WaveofShadow
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada31495 Posts
August 20 2013 06:23 GMT
#10
I remember before having kids looking upon this situation with derision.
[image loading]
"This leash demeans us both."

The onus is on you to keep your kid from running amok; treating him like an animal by putting a leash on him is ridiculous. Right?

Now that I have an 8-month old son who I have to chase around the house (crawling, no less), I sort of see that point of view? I don't know. My wife is leaning towards picking one up with a backpack or something to disguise the fact that it's effectively a leash. It still rubs me the wrong way, but knowing that my son is going to be a runner for sure (and really, we've known this since he was in utero, beating the shit out of my wife's insides) will it be the right thing to do?
twitch.tv/waveofshadow ||| Winner of AHGL's So You Think You Can Cast! ||| Juicy Dad for lyfe ||| 'idk i get a kick out of stupid things' - Jarms Yarng
Ahzz
Profile Joined May 2007
Finland780 Posts
August 20 2013 08:01 GMT
#11
not sure if joke with the leash. I know that there are kid's leashes as shown in the picture above. However, if you only have ONE kid then you guys should be able to keep an eye out for him. It's different if you have four or more running around to each direction. Or maybe your kid happens to be especially wild

If you are strict but fair and keep it up even when around people (even tho he may cry more than is comfortable at first) I believe that a leash wont be necessary at all, and he will happily follow you two around.

Not that I have a kid, and each parent will do what they think is the best for their kid of course. They sure can be a pain sometimes.
NarutO
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Germany18839 Posts
August 20 2013 08:32 GMT
#12
Next blog...

CommentatorPolt | MMA | Jjakji | BoxeR | NaDa | MVP | MKP ... truly inspiring.
Malongo
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Chile3472 Posts
August 20 2013 08:33 GMT
#13
I have no kids, but here is a story from the other side of the road:

Turns out we and my father were at some kind of old multi-stuff market. Something like a bazaar , basically a street with a lot of small shops all together with different kind of sales. I was like 5 or 6 I guess so I was sort of grown up. He was looking for one of his toys, something about a car obviously. I was just looking at the toy stores, so when he found out his shop I asked to stay in one of the toys shop, because I was not having a boring time with "his" stuff. He agreed, went with me to the shop next to his, that had toys and told me to stay there and that he was going to be right in the next right-side shop. After checking the store in like 10 minutes I went full bored and proceeded to reclaim my father in the side shop. He wasnt there...

Ok Panic time. So i went back to my toy store, rechecked, back to his store, re-checked, went to the left side store -nothing. I remember that I thought to myself "ok I am grown up now so what do I do? this guy is obviously desperate looking for me now..." I started asking a few people but I dont even remember if they understood what I was telling. Then I remembered that there was a guard like point, because a few times I had listened the call of parents looking for their lost children on a speaker. I asked where was this place to someone and then when I got there I asked the guard to call my father: "...lost father -name here- please come to the guard post... your son is waiting you here, at the guard post" sounded on the speaker in the full market for about 5 minutes.

In the end, he had more trouble than me finding the guard post, and when he arrived he looked at me and told me: "what? you were lost? I didnt even knew you were lost. I thought you were at the toy store, I was two shops next to you...and then I started listening that I was lost..." Silly parents.
Help me! im still improving my English. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. M. G.
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
August 20 2013 08:36 GMT
#14
Those harnesses are handy. Good for safety and stress levels. Just think of it as an upgrade from the stroller. Anyone against it should try taking an active 2 yr old to a shop and see how hard it is.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
NarutO
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Germany18839 Posts
August 20 2013 08:38 GMT
#15
On August 20 2013 17:36 Scarecrow wrote:
Those harnesses are handy. Good for safety and stress levels. Just think of it as an upgrade from the stroller. Anyone against it should try taking an active 2 yr old to a shop and see how hard it is.


It called parenting where I am from and 'stressful' doesn't mean unmanageable. Its also easier to park your kid in front of the TV than to play with him, still not the right thing to do ;-)
CommentatorPolt | MMA | Jjakji | BoxeR | NaDa | MVP | MKP ... truly inspiring.
Dagobert
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Netherlands1858 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-20 09:11:23
August 20 2013 09:07 GMT
#16
All you need to do is to walk slowly enough for the kid to catch up to you after he took a good look at whatever's more interesting at the moment. If you don't want the kid to explore on his own, take his hand or put him on your shoulders. I have to agree with NaturO here, responsible parenting > controlling your kids.

On August 20 2013 14:00 Fumanchu wrote:
As soon as you enter a store, give your kid a small piece of a chocolate bar. Tell him he can have the rest later. He'll annoy the crap out of you by asking for the rest like every 5 seconds, but at least he won't wander off.

A bread roll works just as well, but isn't as bad for their teeth.
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-20 09:56:53
August 20 2013 09:35 GMT
#17
On August 20 2013 17:38 NarutO wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 20 2013 17:36 Scarecrow wrote:
Those harnesses are handy. Good for safety and stress levels. Just think of it as an upgrade from the stroller. Anyone against it should try taking an active 2 yr old to a shop and see how hard it is.


It called parenting where I am from and 'stressful' doesn't mean unmanageable. Its also easier to park your kid in front of the TV than to play with him, still not the right thing to do ;-)

I assume you don't have a kid. Not all toddlers are the same and to say there is a 'right' way of parenting is ridiculous. 'Stressful' doesn't even remotely cover some days as a parent. There are times when you need to park your kid in front of the TV or restrain them (e.g. stroller/harness/high chair or shoulders) and you'll realise that once you grow out of being a righteous ass.

On August 20 2013 18:07 Dagobert wrote:
All you need to do is to walk slowly enough for the kid to catch up to you after he took a good look at whatever's more interesting at the moment. If you don't want the kid to explore on his own, take his hand or put him on your shoulders. I have to agree with NaturO here, responsible parenting > controlling your kids.


So control is bad yet you list two ways of controlling them. The harness actually gives them more freedom to explore than hand/shoulders. Responsible parenting is surviving and getting shit done whilst managing a toddler's moods and safety. Sometimes tricks/negotiation works but other times it involves straps and control, be it for high chairs, strollers, back packs or whatever. Using the harness If they have a habit of wandering out of eyesight until they learn to stay relatively close isn't a bad/irresponsible option, especially when it's just you and the kid shopping.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
NarutO
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Germany18839 Posts
August 20 2013 10:18 GMT
#18
On August 20 2013 18:35 Scarecrow wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 20 2013 17:38 NarutO wrote:
On August 20 2013 17:36 Scarecrow wrote:
Those harnesses are handy. Good for safety and stress levels. Just think of it as an upgrade from the stroller. Anyone against it should try taking an active 2 yr old to a shop and see how hard it is.


It called parenting where I am from and 'stressful' doesn't mean unmanageable. Its also easier to park your kid in front of the TV than to play with him, still not the right thing to do ;-)

I assume you don't have a kid. Not all toddlers are the same and to say there is a 'right' way of parenting is ridiculous. 'Stressful' doesn't even remotely cover some days as a parent. There are times when you need to park your kid in front of the TV or restrain them (e.g. stroller/harness/high chair or shoulders) and you'll realise that once you grow out of being a righteous ass.

Show nested quote +
On August 20 2013 18:07 Dagobert wrote:
All you need to do is to walk slowly enough for the kid to catch up to you after he took a good look at whatever's more interesting at the moment. If you don't want the kid to explore on his own, take his hand or put him on your shoulders. I have to agree with NaturO here, responsible parenting > controlling your kids.


So control is bad yet you list two ways of controlling them. The harness actually gives them more freedom to explore than hand/shoulders. Responsible parenting is surviving and getting shit done whilst managing a toddler's moods and safety. Sometimes tricks/negotiation works but other times it involves straps and control, be it for high chairs, strollers, back packs or whatever. Using the harness If they have a habit of wandering out of eyesight until they learn to stay relatively close isn't a bad/irresponsible option, especially when it's just you and the kid shopping.


A righteous ass? Not at all. It simply isn't the right approach, I'm sorry. Treating your child like you treat an animal. I got 4 sisters and all of them have kids (multiple) - none of them would need a leash to control their kid neither did I when going out with them / babysitting them. I never said kids aren't stressful but the responsibility that comes with having one (or more) so if you are not ready for it, I would suggest not thinking about having one in the first place.

Most people don't treat dogs right with a leash, I doubt they would handle their child right. Especially in named - stressful situations. Those situations won't be avoided and a kid that wants to explore, would want to explore regardless of a leach / harness or not. So you would just pull him around the whole time. If that is being a righteous ass for you, be it as it is, but I am pretty sure you have no experience with kids as a father yourself?

-_-
CommentatorPolt | MMA | Jjakji | BoxeR | NaDa | MVP | MKP ... truly inspiring.
HolyExlxF
Profile Joined March 2011
United States256 Posts
August 20 2013 10:49 GMT
#19
This is interesting. I don't know that anyone here is advertising their use at all times, but people seem to be making that assumption. I was raised in a family of 4 children, and my brother and I were VERY independent walkers (we both had bells on our feet when we first learned). My parents had a harness that they used on us, but only from about age 3 to age 4, and even then, it was only when we all went to the mall together. Only at the mall.

For those dissenting, are you against strapping a child in a stroller so that they cannot walk around?
ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-20 13:07:39
August 20 2013 11:05 GMT
#20
On August 20 2013 19:18 NarutO wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 20 2013 18:35 Scarecrow wrote:
On August 20 2013 17:38 NarutO wrote:
On August 20 2013 17:36 Scarecrow wrote:
Those harnesses are handy. Good for safety and stress levels. Just think of it as an upgrade from the stroller. Anyone against it should try taking an active 2 yr old to a shop and see how hard it is.


It called parenting where I am from and 'stressful' doesn't mean unmanageable. Its also easier to park your kid in front of the TV than to play with him, still not the right thing to do ;-)

I assume you don't have a kid. Not all toddlers are the same and to say there is a 'right' way of parenting is ridiculous. 'Stressful' doesn't even remotely cover some days as a parent. There are times when you need to park your kid in front of the TV or restrain them (e.g. stroller/harness/high chair or shoulders) and you'll realise that once you grow out of being a righteous ass.

On August 20 2013 18:07 Dagobert wrote:
All you need to do is to walk slowly enough for the kid to catch up to you after he took a good look at whatever's more interesting at the moment. If you don't want the kid to explore on his own, take his hand or put him on your shoulders. I have to agree with NaturO here, responsible parenting > controlling your kids.


So control is bad yet you list two ways of controlling them. The harness actually gives them more freedom to explore than hand/shoulders. Responsible parenting is surviving and getting shit done whilst managing a toddler's moods and safety. Sometimes tricks/negotiation works but other times it involves straps and control, be it for high chairs, strollers, back packs or whatever. Using the harness If they have a habit of wandering out of eyesight until they learn to stay relatively close isn't a bad/irresponsible option, especially when it's just you and the kid shopping.


A righteous ass? Not at all. It simply isn't the right approach, I'm sorry. Treating your child like you treat an animal. I got 4 sisters and all of them have kids (multiple) - none of them would need a leash to control their kid neither did I when going out with them / babysitting them. I never said kids aren't stressful but the responsibility that comes with having one (or more) so if you are not ready for it, I would suggest not thinking about having one in the first place.

Most people don't treat dogs right with a leash, I doubt they would handle their child right. Especially in named - stressful situations. Those situations won't be avoided and a kid that wants to explore, would want to explore regardless of a leach / harness or not. So you would just pull him around the whole time. If that is being a righteous ass for you, be it as it is, but I am pretty sure you have no experience with kids as a father yourself?

-_-

Saying something isn't the right approach to parenting when you have 0 experience as a parent (brother/babysitter is like going to the zoo to look at the cute animals once in a while compared to working in it) is pretty damn righteous imo. I have an 18 month old daughter, don't use a harness (they're not leashes) but have no problem with buying one or other parents who use them. In some situations it would've been useful. A hand can be slippery (especially dangerous near roads) and has you hunched over to hold it. Shoulders are brutal when it's hot and humid and when they really want to walk. Low doorways are also a hazard and you often need both hands to keep them steady when they're this young. The harness gives you 1.5 hands free which is a plus and is better than just strapping them in a pram.

"Most people don't treat dogs right with a leash".... because they're dogs. You really think parents would treat the leash like they would with a dog? Anyway, the dog analogy is retarded. You effectively use a leash/harness when rock climbing for safety with someone holding the end. Having one attached to your child for safety is the opposite of irresponsible and is only really an issue for people who can't shake the dog image. It's not bad parenting just because of how you feel when you see it, whereas every other piece of restraining/safety equipment is fine because it doesn't 'look' like a dog on a leash. Besides parents treat kids like animals all the time. They give them snacks or treats when they're good, establish boundaries, clean up their shit and say the equivalent of 'good dog/bad dog' a lot. Toddlers around 18+ months are probably even less safety aware than dogs.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
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