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Wanting to Change is Easy

Blogs > Iyerbeth
Post a Reply
Iyerbeth
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
England2410 Posts
July 27 2013 22:41 GMT
#1
Wanting to change is easy, actually doing it is harder as it turns out. Unlike my more recent blog on actually interesting stuff, this is a more personal one that will probably not interest many of you on my efforts to be healthy and succeed at stuff.

So, for some context I went back to college this year, at 25 (now 26) as I completely screwed it up the first time. So far as I'm aware, I'm the only person who passed the course this year who failed to get in to a university despite also being the highest achieveing student on the course as I got perfect grades (60 distinctions). That was annoying, but as a result I figure I'll apply to the best university in the country for the course I want next year as I would have more than doubled what they ask for in applicants and I only need to do well on a single test.

That test however, requires that I'm familiar with the first year of two A level courses I've never studied so it seems like a monumental task. I'm working through it and as I'm applying for the course I obviously know quite a bit on the subjects at least but everyone else applying will be focussed on exactly the questions they'll be asking. I could apply pretty much everywhere else, and I will, but I really want to succeed at this and it just seems that no matter how much time I put in to it there's so much more to do. After that I have a whole year to familiarise myself with the second year, but it feels so frustrating to be progressing so slowly.

In addition, since I now have another year to fill with stuff, I'm trying to actually make use of it unlike the previous several (excluding this one). One of the big aspects of that is being more healthy. I'm currently overweight though not huge, but if I didn't make some rather immediate changes to my lifestyle that wasn't going to stay the case in to the future. As a result I decided one day (literally) to quit all junk food and fizzy drinks from my general life and to take up walking every day as I currently have nothing to do but my voluntary studying.

These changes have proven extremely difficult. I'm about to finish day 6 now and I've stuck to it. I set myself a route I thought I could walk, which I expected would be about 2.5 miles but apparently I suck at estimation as it's closer to 5...never was very good at that kinda thing. I actually enjoy the walk though and it hasn't resulted in any pains or aches, but it's so difficult to motivate myself to actually get out and do it. On top of that I really hate no chocolate or being able to go to the fish and chip shop and I haven't even made it a week...am I that addicted???

On the plus side I've found some repacement foods which turned out to be really nice, though without junk food eating enough to meet the recomendations is actually really hard. It's almost amusingly ironic but I never really eat that much. Probably the only reason I didn't end up huge on my previous diet.

I don't even know why I wrote this, but there we go.

*****
♥ Liquid`Sheth ♥ Liquid`TLO ♥
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
July 27 2013 22:58 GMT
#2
Kind of have the same thing. I know what I want to change but I still have a super hard time following through and actually doing it
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
July 27 2013 23:05 GMT
#3
Once you stick to that new diet for approximately 2 weeks it's really hard to imagine it any other way. When you've done it long enough you literally just don't want to switch back to the old diet. So it should become easier for you the longer it goes on, but it does help to have a different mindset - not, "I can't have this", but rather "I don't want this."

As for the running, this may interest you. When I started running 2 years ago I hadn't run in years and could only do 2 kms before completely running out of energy. After 2 months of running 2 or 3 times a week with a friend(which made it enjoyable) I could do 11 kms. If you find yourself able to stick to a schedule like that you will get improvements in line with that.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
Blisse
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada3710 Posts
July 27 2013 23:13 GMT
#4
My favourite thought for the last while is this. Just a simple rule of thumb of course.

"If X is really hard to do, it's definitely better than alternative Y that's easier to do."


Hard to play SC2 without raging? Yeah, it's better to play it without raging.
Hard to walk up for class? Yeah, you should really get to class.
Hard to eat well? Then eating well is better for you.
Hard to work out? Working out is pretty good for you.


If you stick with any activity for over a month (in terms of days), however hard that activity was, it won't seem that hard anymore. So keep at it. Don't let the difficulty of the task deter you, and similarly if you fail, don't let that failure deter you from trying again the next time.


I'm going to post something later on motivation - provided I can motivate myself enough to finish it. :p
There is no one like you in the universe.
sob3k
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States7572 Posts
July 28 2013 04:54 GMT
#5
On July 28 2013 08:13 Blisse wrote:
My favourite thought for the last while is this. Just a simple rule of thumb of course.

"If X is really hard to do, it's definitely better than alternative Y that's easier to do."


Hard to play SC2 without raging? Yeah, it's better to play it without raging.
Hard to walk up for class? Yeah, you should really get to class.
Hard to eat well? Then eating well is better for you.
Hard to work out? Working out is pretty good for you.


If you stick with any activity for over a month (in terms of days), however hard that activity was, it won't seem that hard anymore. So keep at it. Don't let the difficulty of the task deter you, and similarly if you fail, don't let that failure deter you from trying again the next time.


I'm going to post something later on motivation - provided I can motivate myself enough to finish it. :p


Robbing a bank is pretty hard

so is punching yourself in the nuts every morning
In Hungry Hungry Hippos there are no such constraints—one can constantly attempt to collect marbles with one’s hippo, limited only by one’s hippo-levering capabilities.
KhaliWear
Profile Blog Joined October 2012
Canada159 Posts
July 28 2013 06:43 GMT
#6
little steps forward
Stretching ones neck 30 seconds to either side, will help improve blood flow and relax nerve endings.
[SuNdae]
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Finland323 Posts
July 28 2013 06:52 GMT
#7
I would recommend you to read Steven Pressfield's War of Art.

http://hnguyen.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/the-war-of-art-steven-pressfield.pdf

It's about that little (or big) voice in your head that every day says:

"No you don't have to do that today, you can do it tomorrow... yeah do it tomorrow." And how to defeat it.

It is written from mainly a writer's point of view, but the principles are the same when undertaking any new task.
Blisse
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada3710 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-28 07:09:27
July 28 2013 07:06 GMT
#8
On July 28 2013 13:54 sob3k wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 28 2013 08:13 Blisse wrote:
My favourite thought for the last while is this. Just a simple rule of thumb of course.

"If X is really hard to do, it's definitely better than alternative Y that's easier to do."


Hard to play SC2 without raging? Yeah, it's better to play it without raging.
Hard to walk up for class? Yeah, you should really get to class.
Hard to eat well? Then eating well is better for you.
Hard to work out? Working out is pretty good for you.


If you stick with any activity for over a month (in terms of days), however hard that activity was, it won't seem that hard anymore. So keep at it. Don't let the difficulty of the task deter you, and similarly if you fail, don't let that failure deter you from trying again the next time.


I'm going to post something later on motivation - provided I can motivate myself enough to finish it. :p


Robbing a bank is pretty hard

so is punching yourself in the nuts every morning


Yeah, and? I never said that it was a Law. I said it's a good enough guideline to live by since it tells you that the hardest things to do are worth much more than the easier things. Go bullshit yourself on hypothetical scenarios elsewhere that completely miss the point because it's pathetic, and you contribute nothing.



Here are some posts I like as well.

http://99u.com/articles/7223/how-barack-obama-gets-things-done

http://sebastianmarshall.com/on-willpower-and-why-its-not-enough
There is no one like you in the universe.
sob3k
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States7572 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-28 08:54:52
July 28 2013 08:52 GMT
#9
On July 28 2013 16:06 Blisse wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 28 2013 13:54 sob3k wrote:
On July 28 2013 08:13 Blisse wrote:
My favourite thought for the last while is this. Just a simple rule of thumb of course.

"If X is really hard to do, it's definitely better than alternative Y that's easier to do."


Hard to play SC2 without raging? Yeah, it's better to play it without raging.
Hard to walk up for class? Yeah, you should really get to class.
Hard to eat well? Then eating well is better for you.
Hard to work out? Working out is pretty good for you.


If you stick with any activity for over a month (in terms of days), however hard that activity was, it won't seem that hard anymore. So keep at it. Don't let the difficulty of the task deter you, and similarly if you fail, don't let that failure deter you from trying again the next time.


I'm going to post something later on motivation - provided I can motivate myself enough to finish it. :p


Robbing a bank is pretty hard

so is punching yourself in the nuts every morning


Yeah, and? I never said that it was a Law. I said it's a good enough guideline to live by since it tells you that the hardest things to do are worth much more than the easier things. Go bullshit yourself on hypothetical scenarios elsewhere that completely miss the point because it's pathetic, and you contribute nothing.



Here are some posts I like as well.

http://99u.com/articles/7223/how-barack-obama-gets-things-done

http://sebastianmarshall.com/on-willpower-and-why-its-not-enough


I'm sorry I offended you, but I'm not just throwing out bullshit. I seriously disagree with using "if its harder its better" as a life guiding statement of any kind. Its far too simplistic to actually result in good decision making. It only seems like it makes some sense because you are specifically thinking of situations where you already know the hard option is the best.

Working out isn't good because its hard, its good because its healthy for your body. Working in a coal mine is harder than working as a lifeguard but that certainly doesn't mean switching careers is a bulletproof idea. Even the bank robbing example isn't some ridiculous fabrication, it just sounds silly because you already know that robbing a bank is a bad idea the same way eating healthy is a good one.

In real life, most situations are actually too complex for a rule like that. Is it a good idea for me to drop out of school and go live with my girlfriend while working in construction? Which one of those options is hard and which is easy? Over what time frame?

Your guideline just isn't helpful. When I work out should I push myself till I throw up every session or just do it until I feel done? If talking to a unfamiliar girl I like is hard, that makes it a good idea. By that exact same logic, if not talking with my close friends is hard, is that the better option? If you don't want to go out on a hike does that make it a good idea to go on a hike? If you really do want to go on a hike, should you stay home? I don't rage at all playing SC. I would have to put out real effort to be an obnoxious douchebag ingame. Does that make raging desirable for me? What if I'm stuck in a dead end job I hate, but it just feels easier to keep doing it because its been my life for years and I can't imagine starting from the bottom again and losing my social group? Is difficulty even a factor in which choice is a better one?

Whats wrong with just thinking about the results of your actions and using that to judge which approach is desirable? That method actually gives you reasonable answers. Who needs a generalized shortcut as simplistic as "harder=better"? Its like living by the rule "if it's in a cup it's edible". Yeah, works great until you end up chugging loose change and pencils off of someones desk. What exactly is the problem with just looking in the damn cup first?
In Hungry Hungry Hippos there are no such constraints—one can constantly attempt to collect marbles with one’s hippo, limited only by one’s hippo-levering capabilities.
Iyerbeth
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
England2410 Posts
July 28 2013 10:04 GMT
#10
Thank you all for the replies and the links too. I had no idea why I posted this last night, but I'm glad I did now.
♥ Liquid`Sheth ♥ Liquid`TLO ♥
Trumpet
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States1935 Posts
July 28 2013 11:54 GMT
#11
As someone who also decided suddenly to stop drinking soft drinks, it was odd at first. I went from coke with every meal -> fruit drinks -> water. Now the concept of drinking coke regularly just seems odd to me. What really seals it is when you get used to how you feel after a glass of water vs how you feel after a fizzy soft drink and your brain associates that feeling whenever you see / think of them. Same goes for a lot of junk foods. I feel fucking great after a small salad and slow / lethargic after donuts.

Keep it up for a little longer so your body can adjust to the real food and drinks and you'll feel worlds better :>
KhaliWear
Profile Blog Joined October 2012
Canada159 Posts
July 29 2013 05:21 GMT
#12
On July 28 2013 19:04 Iyerbeth wrote:
Thank you all for the replies and the links too. I had no idea why I posted this last night, but I'm glad I did now.


I look forward to your updates lyerbeth!
Stretching ones neck 30 seconds to either side, will help improve blood flow and relax nerve endings.
Blisse
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada3710 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-29 09:54:50
July 29 2013 09:30 GMT
#13
On July 28 2013 17:52 sob3k wrote:
-snip-


Ah, realized where you were misinterpreting. None of this was about decision making in the first place.


Nothing's wrong with using your brain instead of doing something idiotic. I'm not telling you to punch yourself in the nuts because it's harder, or go move out with your girlfriend because that's the harder decision. I'm telling you when you apply the idea that you choose the more difficult choice (while not being an idiot about it), you will achieve more than you would have had you taken the easier route. It's not a guide to living your life; there are no guides for that. But regardless it's still a good factor in determining what's good provided you're supplementing it with rational decision making. No shit.

In general, when you're doing something "morally right" that seems to require much more effort and be more difficult than you expected, it's a huge motivational boost to remind yourself that the goal is worth much more than the pain, and it becomes something that could potentially help you perservere instead of giving up.

For example, you understand that you should stop drinking soft drinks because it's really shitty for you, but it's really hard. So you recognize that it's really hard to do and realize that there's a necessary difficulty to overcome before achieving better results. And you use that to fuel yourself towards achieving that goal. While you acknowledge that the situation is difficult, you recognize that the difficulty is a necessary challenge to be overcome by you. This is the idea I was attempting to convey.
There is no one like you in the universe.
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
July 29 2013 23:02 GMT
#14
On July 29 2013 18:30 Blisse wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 28 2013 17:52 sob3k wrote:
-snip-


Ah, realized where you were misinterpreting. None of this was about decision making in the first place.


Nothing's wrong with using your brain instead of doing something idiotic. I'm not telling you to punch yourself in the nuts because it's harder, or go move out with your girlfriend because that's the harder decision. I'm telling you when you apply the idea that you choose the more difficult choice (while not being an idiot about it), you will achieve more than you would have had you taken the easier route. It's not a guide to living your life; there are no guides for that. But regardless it's still a good factor in determining what's good provided you're supplementing it with rational decision making. No shit.

In general, when you're doing something "morally right" that seems to require much more effort and be more difficult than you expected, it's a huge motivational boost to remind yourself that the goal is worth much more than the pain, and it becomes something that could potentially help you perservere instead of giving up.

For example, you understand that you should stop drinking soft drinks because it's really shitty for you, but it's really hard. So you recognize that it's really hard to do and realize that there's a necessary difficulty to overcome before achieving better results. And you use that to fuel yourself towards achieving that goal. While you acknowledge that the situation is difficult, you recognize that the difficulty is a necessary challenge to be overcome by you. This is the idea I was attempting to convey.

But if you have to say "while not being an idiot about it" it is still as ambiguous as before your guideline. What is "idiotic"? It's like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - "Every english teachers knows what Quality is(and it is a serious sign of incompetence if one does not)" that he uses to get around the fact that he doesn't know and can't define what Quality is. Just because you question the competence of someone doesn't mean they're wrong. So in actuality your guideline was straight up useless. It should probably have been phrased as "Many of the most worthwhile things to do are the most difficult things to do."
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32073 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-30 03:52:42
July 30 2013 03:52 GMT
#15
youve already made a bunch of steps towards positive goals, which is already better than a vast majority of lazy ass people. so good for you!

it is never too late to get back into school, so don't let that bog you down

as far as your diet, the best damn thing you can do is learn to cook for yourself. it will take some time but once you get the hang of it, you save money, you can make tasty but healthy stuff and impress girls/family/friends at the drop of a hat

there's plenty of blogs here with some easy to follow recipes. there's also a number of other lbogs on the internet that could give you pointers on how to get started

good luck!
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Iyerbeth
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
England2410 Posts
July 31 2013 04:54 GMT
#16
So, I did my walk yesterday despite the fact it was starting to rain and I was sure I was going to get wet (fortunately it didn't) so I decided to see if I could do it in under an hour to minimise the time outside. I'd been trying to increase my speed over time, and I had gotten my time for it down to about 1 hour 5 minutes so I thought if I push myself I should be able to do it.

At any rate I ran in to my cousins wife whilst out and we talked for 5 minutes or so and I was going to give myself that time back but I decided, no, and went for it and did the closest thing to a light jog one can do with a walking aid (long standing medical issue) and suddenly I found myself remembering all the breathing techniques and things from when I used to do cross country running like a decade ago which admitedly are odd for walking quick but they helped. I made it back with 1 minute to spare and felt awesome.

On July 28 2013 20:54 Trumpet wrote:
As someone who also decided suddenly to stop drinking soft drinks, it was odd at first. I went from coke with every meal -> fruit drinks -> water. Now the concept of drinking coke regularly just seems odd to me. What really seals it is when you get used to how you feel after a glass of water vs how you feel after a fizzy soft drink and your brain associates that feeling whenever you see / think of them. Same goes for a lot of junk foods. I feel fucking great after a small salad and slow / lethargic after donuts.

Keep it up for a little longer so your body can adjust to the real food and drinks and you'll feel worlds better :>


Thanks for commenting, I really want to reach that point so it's nice to hear it's at least possible. I'm finding no fizzy drinks to be the hardest part so far as I've been so used to always having a bottle with me at the computer and now I don't, Doesn't quite feel right yet.

On July 30 2013 12:52 QuanticHawk wrote:
youve already made a bunch of steps towards positive goals, which is already better than a vast majority of lazy ass people. so good for you!

it is never too late to get back into school, so don't let that bog you down

as far as your diet, the best damn thing you can do is learn to cook for yourself. it will take some time but once you get the hang of it, you save money, you can make tasty but healthy stuff and impress girls/family/friends at the drop of a hat

there's plenty of blogs here with some easy to follow recipes. there's also a number of other lbogs on the internet that could give you pointers on how to get started

good luck!


Thank you! I think you're right about needing to cook more, especially as it's another routine I can start which I really think I need.
♥ Liquid`Sheth ♥ Liquid`TLO ♥
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
July 31 2013 05:29 GMT
#17
I don't drink fizzy drinks or eat most junk food; it's possible. However I don't think eliminating everything is a good solution since going cold turkey can break you easily. I suggest keeping one or two comfort foods to help you in tough moments (like ice cream because ice cream makes everything better).

If you always need something to drink, drink green tea or something. You can combine it with something citrus-y to make it more appealing to your taste buds.

If you have difficulty getting motivated to go walking, I suggest biking. You travel a longer distance and see more of your surroundings. It could be more interesting than just walking. Also it's better for your knees and joints.
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