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I posted this to my facebook a few minutes ago and wanted to post it here in the hopes that maybe others going through some of my issues may find light in this message and realize what they can do to become a happier person.
Einstein defined insanity as "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
I am currently insane. The message below is more of a promise to myself than an explanation.
I follow the same routine to the letter everyday expecting a different result. I wake up on Monday, exhausted from the weekend. Drive to work. Chain smoke cigarettes all day while at work. Repeatedly check Facebook to see what's going on with my peers. Chain smoke more. Drive home and repeat until Friday. Then Friday I find some bar or club to frequent, drink copious amounts of alcohol until I manage to humiliate myself and/or black out. Repeat Saturday, spend Sunday hungover. Then wake up Monday morning...exhausted wondering if I managed to find some scrap of happiness over the weekend while bits and pieces of my hazy memory return to haunt me and drive my self esteem further into the ground.
No longer will I be a victim of my own, self inflicted insanity. Expecting for some unknown reason, that this day would be different from the last and I would find the happiness that I am constantly searching for.
This morning I am changing my pattern in an attempt to restore my sanity, find happiness, and a more positive outlook on life. Three things will change.
1) I am disabling my Facebook account. I can't imagine how much time of my life has been thrown away over the years hitting that button at the top of the screen and watching the feed refresh. If you would like to keep in touch, send me an email with your phone number. I will leave this account activated for 24 hours so anyone who cares will have a chance to see this. [REDACTED EMAIL]
2) I am quitting smoking. This needs no explanation. It's a disgustingly dirty habit that has literally zero positive effects.
3) I am quitting drinking. It's become all too apparent to myself and most likely my close friends that I have zero self-control when it comes to alcohol. Far too many times I have woke up on Saturday and Sunday only to hear yet another story of how I completely embarrassed myself, disrespected others, and/or acted like an idiot.
No longer will I be a slave to my vices, or weak to my own temptations. I will earn back my sanity and ability to smile.
 
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Good Luck on your new life, but you should really think about what to do in your free time, otherwie the temptation of going out and drinking and smoking might be too high.
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browsing facebook is a symptom not a cause of the problem.
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This is a really nice set of goals and I hope you follow through on them. I've been in similar circumstances where I was drinking constantly thinking it was fun when it was really just trying to find a way to obliterate my mind and fuck my self-esteem over.
I don't drink much anymore, and have simple goals which I work towards on my weekends and just spend time with people I care about. It feels much better.
I hope you get through this, if you do I guarantee you won't look back.
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Good luck as well, but I recommend you take things one step at a time. Quit drinking first, then smoking or vice versa. The reason being is that it is easy to post and say you will do so, but actually doing it day in and day out is much more difficult. Concentrate on quitting one, make it happen, then move onto the other one. (Of course you can cut down a little bit in the meantime).
I have a friend who was a big time smoker and drinker. He quit smoking first, then drinking (took about 4 years all together), but it worked for him and he no longer does either.
Just keep at it!
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On March 26 2013 20:46 NotoriousBig wrote:
Good Luck on your new life, but you should really think about what to do in your free time, otherwie the temptation of going out and drinking and smoking might be too high.
Very true. Drinking, smoking, and even facebook are popular coping mechanisms for stress. Quitting all of them at once will bring even more stress, so make sure you've got some safe outlets.
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good luck, also glad to see that you have overcome your voices; good to see you redacted your statement about facebook.
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Pretty aggressive goals to set off the bat, but good luck. I deleted Facebook a long time ago.
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Good luck! Hopefully you will actually go through with it (alcohol and smoking).
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Sorry I probably should have explained the "Redacted" a bit more.
That was my email... lol I posted it to my FB friends, didn't want to put it on TL.
Things are going well so far. I'm craving for a cigarette pretty bad, but what smoker doesn't know what that feels like. Other than chewing a bit more gum than I'm used to I'm in the clear so far. I will keep updating.
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hey, grats, it took me 5 years to quit the drinking and another 2 to (potentially) quit the smoking and get into a college course instead of doing retarded minimum wage jobs the rest of my life.
read my blogs, they might help you.
cold turkey is the only way to go, with everything, really. smoking, drinking and deleting fb outright. otherwise you wont have the strength and things will still haunt you for years to come.
join the teamliquid health & fitness initiative thread. u need something to do instead of smoking etc
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Yeah facebook is only symptomatic of a larger problem, but cutting down on its usage (provided you're not spending the time you would have spent on fb on a similarly unproductive and soul-crushing activity) should help. It's going to be hard and you will have relapses, but hang in there. Good luck man ><
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in King Lear, Edmund, the diabolical mastermind says "This is the excellent foppery of the world, that when we are sick in fortune-often the surfeit of our own behaviour-we make guilty of our disasters the sun. the moon, and the stars, as if we were villains by necessity, fools by heavenly compulsion, knaves, theives and treachers by spherical predominance...and all that we are evil in by a divine thrusting on: an admirable evasion of whoremaster man, to lay his goatish disposition to the charge of a star! (1.2)
You have the power to make choices no matter how unfavourable they seem in the moment.
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Good for you. I hope you can really make changes in your life that help you. Drinking yourself into a stupor is fun up to the point where it starts to seriously effect your life(as it sounds like it does). Smoking will also kill you in the long run, It's going to be a long haul(my cousin tries every year to quit, and despite my best efforts to support him usually cracks after a week. But he also has next-to-no willpower in this regards.)
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Good luck, I feel like I'm in a similar boat as you. Hope you succeed :D
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EPT
