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So first time blogging, hit writers block on a paper for school (on page 3 of 12 o.O) and wanted to get this annoying situation off my chest.
Sorry for the wall of text, seemed like all the details were necessary but I'm sure they aren't.
A background to this story is over summer break this girl, lets call her Gina, and I spent a whole night talking to each other at the bar and since I was DD'ing I drove her and her friend back to my place and when dropping them off, "Gina" and I made out and petting and such in the car before she got out.
Anyway so I had not spoken with "Gina" since that night, and the only interaction we had over that time was tweeter conversations. So I went on spring break a couple weeks ago with a couple of my buddies, we were staying at a huge house with 20 some odd other people, and you guessed it "Gina" was one of those people.
So first night, nothing really happened said hi, I got drunk, didn't make it out to the bars. Second day, we talked for like a hour and then went to go a bar a couple miles down the road. We walked since it was close and wasn't raining yet. Talked the whole way, etc. We get to the bar and its closed (I was drunk and it didn't occur to me that since most schools weren't on break the bar wouldn't be open on sunday). At this point its pouring so we decide to walk back to the house but do so along the beach rather than the road again. Its still pouring but we decided to go in the ocean, so we stripped to our underwear and go in. While in the ocean we start making out then go to the beach for continuation, anyways we get back and change into dry clothes and spend most of the night on the balcony together. Next night we go to a bar and after a bit we decided to leave and went to waffle house (I know romantic) before going back. Next day during day drinking she invites me up to her room and we're up there for a while. We go out but she leaves without a word because "she was on the phone with a friend and was drunk so wasn't thinking clearly." No biggies. Anyways the rest of the week was kinda, "meh" until the last night were we both decided not to go out since we were leaving the next day. Naturally I got smashed and nothing happened but we talked a lot and agreed to go out for a meal when we got back to school.
During the drive back we texted the whole time. Literally, had a twelve hour long conversation with one another. So we sporadically text the rest of the week and things seem good. Then classes start back up.
I would text her and not get a response for a couple hours, no big deal. But the conversations completely changed. Everything was felt awkward, I was trying to start all of the conversations and all she did was answer and maybe throw back a "wbu?" So the this past weekend I got drunk and my friend won a bet/convinced me to ask her if she still wanted to go out on that date (didn't word as a date), so texted her and she responded the following day saying she would. We texted back and forth a bit (still seeming awkward) we settled on Tuesday but I didn't know of a place yet since she's a vegetarian and I wanted to find that kind of place, so I told her I'd get back to her on that. So we continue with our awkward texting Sunday and then Monday I found a place that was suitable and sent her a text saying I finally found a place to eat. Silence. No text back, Sent another that evening just saying hey. Silence.
So figure that she just said yes over break because it was break and whatever and then agreed last weekend because she didn't want to seem mean and then backed out when she had the oppertunity. Sucks because she was really cool and it seemed like we connected over sb or whatever. I'm not sure what to do, I don't wanna give up so easily but on the other hand I don't wanna seem desperate and keep trying.
Since Blogs do better with paint images:
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So there was this girl Mary I was attracted to a few years back. She did pretty much the exact same thing. Her and I had a few good times here and there, but mostly, hanging out with her was impossible. We would text, but sometimes she would never text back, and if she did, it was some ambiguous answer. It was really annoying. I wrote 8 songs because of her. I went through 2 years of dumb shit with this girl, and I assure you, I hated almost every moment of it. It was frustrating because it felt like she never actually cared.
What I'm saying is that I see similarities in this Gina girl and Mary, so I think you should dump this girl ASAP. Maybe she'll start thinking straight once she realizes she can't just play with you ambiguously.
And honestly dude, she made out with you while she was drunk the first time. That hardly counts. She was probably just horny, and she kind of sounds like a whore.
EDIT: She sounds like a whore not because shes making out with you, but she makes these moves, then acts weird. Maybe she wants you to try harder, but girls like that are almost impossible to please. And eventually, they realize they don't want a guy who will appease their every demand. Just saying.
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For some reason, when you called her gina, i already thought she was a whore. If she wasn't you would have called her felicity!
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On March 13 2013 15:06 hoby2000 wrote:
So there was this girl Mary I was attracted to a few years back. She did pretty much the exact same thing. Her and I had a few good times here and there, but mostly, hanging out with her was impossible. We would text, but sometimes she would never text back, and if she did, it was some ambiguous answer. It was really annoying. I went through 2 years of dumb shit with this girl, and I assure you, I hated almost every moment of it. It was frustrating because it felt like she never actually cared.
What I'm saying is that I see similarities in this Gina girl and Mary, so I think you should dump this girl ASAP. Maybe she'll start thinking straight once she realizes she can't just play with you ambiguously.
Change the name Mary into something else and here is my story.
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On March 13 2013 15:41 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
For some reason, when you called her gina, i already thought she was a whore. If she wasn't you would have called her felicity!
Somehow calling her Gina out of a sudden seems to imply she is:
a) a girl who can't be trusted
b) Italian
c) from Jersey Shore
d) is actually called Gina
Unless she's Italian, I would be very careful with investing too much emotions in this.
edit: expanded a little on my thought
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Girls are like that on break, they just want someone to have fun with but don't actually want a relationship in their 'real' lives.
Sucks man :/
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Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51490 Posts
Dude....spring break.....she just wanted "fun", like you seemed you wanted. That's all it ever was going to be im affraid. The only issue you should have is that you didn't get to........... but hey, still was fun spring break?! That's all that matters when your young, even if she was cool and that, just remember that you pulled her, you made out with her, you had fun! good game!
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On March 13 2013 15:06 hoby2000 wrote:
So there was this girl Mary I was attracted to a few years back. She did pretty much the exact same thing. Her and I had a few good times here and there, but mostly, hanging out with her was impossible. We would text, but sometimes she would never text back, and if she did, it was some ambiguous answer. It was really annoying. I wrote 8 songs because of her. I went through 2 years of dumb shit with this girl, and I assure you, I hated almost every moment of it. It was frustrating because it felt like she never actually cared.
What I'm saying is that I see similarities in this Gina girl and Mary, so I think you should dump this girl ASAP. Maybe she'll start thinking straight once she realizes she can't just play with you ambiguously.
And honestly dude, she made out with you while she was drunk the first time. That hardly counts. She was probably just horny, and she kind of sounds like a whore.
EDIT: She sounds like a whore not because shes making out with you, but she makes these moves, then acts weird. Maybe she wants you to try harder, but girls like that are almost impossible to please. And eventually, they realize they don't want a guy who will appease their every demand. Just saying.
This man speaks the truth. I've also had a shitty year with my ex, and I'm currently moving on.
'she wants you to try hard and girls like that are impossible to please.' this is so true. This girl probably has some issues, and a great lesson I learned in this year is that you can't be ok with someone if you're not ok with yourself first. Also, I hate when people say this to me, but you'll find a better girl. Stay strong!
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Wow lol yeah it sounds like she was just one of those girls who floats around kissing whoever wants it and maybe more. Those people are toxic to people like you (over-analysers who actually have 'feelings'). It's a bit weird having a 12 hour conversation lol! You were probably hoping it made her feel 'wow we really connect, this guy is the guy I've been looking for!' but it sounds like she really isn't the sort of person who would think that way!!!!
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She'll probably get back to you eventually. But if you feel like she was just pitying you then that sounds like a self esteem issue that you need to deal with as well.
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Each time you interacted with her you were both smashed or at least one of you was wasted. She was just going along with the party. Once she got back to "reality" she wasn't looking for a party friend anymore.
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Only advice I have:
This doesn't sound like its working out.
I found the love of my life and we clicked on the first date and realized that we wanted to get to know one another and be honest and up front.
You deserve this, and I'm sure your partner does as well
Forget about this girl. She's obviously flaky. The fact you made out with her on the first time you knew her/met her just points to the fact she was horny or was looking to f***, or maybe looking to just make out (Even more likely so if she was intoxicated)
Some girls just want to get laid. Casual sex, no relationships.
Plus, sounds like you messed up when you couldn't figure out a vegetarian place.. Plus its gonna be hard dating a vegetarian if you eat meat.
and all above posters are pretty accurate as to why she acted the way she did. (It's a mystery unless you ask her personally, so all we can do is speculate )
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I'm not sure I agree with these previous posts. She could just be shy and awkward like you, but was having a fantastic time during spring break. I vote that you give one big, final, attempt. Propose an adventure she can easily say 'yes' to and see if she takes you up on the offer, or dodges.
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On March 14 2013 03:53 RoyGBiv_13 wrote:
I'm not sure I agree with these previous posts. She could just be shy and awkward like you, but was having a fantastic time during spring break. I vote that you give one big, final, attempt. Propose an adventure she can easily say 'yes' to and see if she takes you up on the offer, or dodges.
She's shy but likes to make out and do shit with random guys? I really doubt that. There are too many inconsistencies for her to be shy. For example, she texted him a lot before they both got home, then she starts not texting him or gives ambiguous answer? Even if she is shy, the fact that she's not talking to him much now is a bigger clue that she may not be interested in the first place, shy or not.
I think you have too much faith in people. It's fine to have faith, but when you have evidence blaring in your face that something is wrong, then faith is sort of worthless.
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On March 14 2013 03:16 Th1rdEye wrote:
Only advice I have:
This doesn't sound like its working out.
I found the love of my life and we clicked on the first date and realized that we wanted to get to know one another and be honest and up front.
You deserve this, and I'm sure your partner does as well
Forget about this girl. She's obviously flaky. The fact you made out with her on the first time you knew her/met her just points to the fact she was horny or was looking to f***, or maybe looking to just make out (Even more likely so if she was intoxicated)
Some girls just want to get laid. Casual sex, no relationships.
Plus, sounds like you messed up when you couldn't figure out a vegetarian place.. Plus its gonna be hard dating a vegetarian if you eat meat.
and all above posters are pretty accurate as to why she acted the way she did. (It's a mystery unless you ask her personally, so all we can do is speculate )
This guy gets it. The underline bolded part is the most important. If you can't be honest and up front with someone from the get go, even from the first day about anything, then you probably shouldn't date them.
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On March 13 2013 14:52 Brosy wrote:
she's a vegetarian
This shoulda been enough to let you to stay away!
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Youre being naive Roygbiv.
She prolly has a boyfriend or just wanted to have fun idd
Also, you shouldve banged her when you had the chance. At least then you would've had a chance for a platonic sex relationship.
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you met a girl on spring break and tried setting up a date with her
maybe in a couple years youll realize how stupid that is
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On March 13 2013 15:06 hoby2000 wrote:
So there was this girl Mary I was attracted to a few years back. She did pretty much the exact same thing. Her and I had a few good times here and there, but mostly, hanging out with her was impossible. We would text, but sometimes she would never text back, and if she did, it was some ambiguous answer. It was really annoying. I wrote 8 songs because of her. I went through 2 years of dumb shit with this girl, and I assure you, I hated almost every moment of it. It was frustrating because it felt like she never actually cared.
What I'm saying is that I see similarities in this Gina girl and Mary, so I think you should dump this girl ASAP. Maybe she'll start thinking straight once she realizes she can't just play with you ambiguously.
And honestly dude, she made out with you while she was drunk the first time. That hardly counts. She was probably just horny, and she kind of sounds like a whore.
EDIT: She sounds like a whore not because shes making out with you, but she makes these moves, then acts weird. Maybe she wants you to try harder, but girls like that are almost impossible to please. And eventually, they realize they don't want a guy who will appease their every demand. Just saying.
heh this is very similar to one of my stories
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Don't dive in head first when you meet a girl you like. It took me awhile to learn this, after spending way too much time in college obsessing over what the particular girl I was into at the time was doing and trying to figure out her build order (are starcraft/girl analogies frowned on here? lolz), but girls can tell when you're way too into them relative to how long you've known them and unless they're head over heels crazy about you too, that's a major turn-off. Think of times in your life when a girl's been allllllll about you super fast and you were kinda like "leeet's take a step back, this is weirding me out a bit." Keep trying to meet other girls, don't make your whole life about this one and spend a bunch of time being sad about it until you know her well enough to know she's worth it.
Also, seems like lots of guys here need to ease up on the misogyny:
On March 13 2013 15:06 hoby2000 wrote:
She was probably just horny, and she kind of sounds like a whore.
On March 13 2013 15:41 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
For some reason, when you called her gina, i already thought she was a whore.
On March 13 2013 21:09 sc4k wrote:
Wow lol yeah it sounds like she was just one of those girls who floats around kissing whoever wants it and maybe more. Those people are toxic to people like you (over-analysers who actually have 'feelings').
Chill out brosephs, women aren't as evil as you think they are :/
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On March 15 2013 10:40 goofyballer wrote:Don't dive in head first when you meet a girl you like. It took me awhile to learn this, after spending way too much time in college obsessing over what the particular girl I was into at the time was doing and trying to figure out her build order (are starcraft/girl analogies frowned on here? lolz), but girls can tell when you're way too into them relative to how long you've known them and unless they're head over heels crazy about you too, that's a major turn-off. Think of times in your life when a girl's been allllllll about you super fast and you were kinda like "leeet's take a step back, this is weirding me out a bit." Keep trying to meet other girls, don't make your whole life about this one and spend a bunch of time being sad about it until you know her well enough to know she's worth it. Also, seems like lots of guys here need to ease up on the misogyny: Show nested quote +On March 13 2013 15:06 hoby2000 wrote:
She was probably just horny, and she kind of sounds like a whore. Show nested quote +On March 13 2013 15:41 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
For some reason, when you called her gina, i already thought she was a whore. Show nested quote +On March 13 2013 21:09 sc4k wrote:
Wow lol yeah it sounds like she was just one of those girls who floats around kissing whoever wants it and maybe more. Those people are toxic to people like you (over-analysers who actually have 'feelings'). Chill out brosephs, women aren't as evil as you think they are :/
First - Assuming that a whore is evil was your assumption.
Second - I'm not saying women are evil. I don't believe in genderalizaitions (I just made that up... generalizations about gender!), and therefore, I'm not saying that everyone woman is a whore, or even that whore is a bad thing
Third - your piece of advice is actually spot on. I've been trying to explain to people for the past 6 months that if you put yourself in the friendzone first, then get to know her, the right girl is going to see that, and want you for all the right reasons. A majority of girl problems to me seems to be that people fall head over heels for someone they barely know. In fact, some guys that do this eventually end up being placed in the friend zone permanently afterward.
Girls aren't always whores. Whores aren't always evil, and women who actually want a lasting relationship will date the guys who are good friends first, and a better lover later.
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I THINK YOU GOT THE TITLE RIGHT: HONESTY HONESTY HONESTY
I think one's lover is the one whom one is honest to in all respects(except things that might hurt her). By being honest, one learns who honestly could fit into ones life. My interest and i do not fit into each other's personal lives. we are embarrassed and afraid of the relationship. Our characters conflict and our ideals conflict and theres lots to sort out but i'm still trying. What this tells me is that we are not projecting ideals onto each other, we have accepted the other's bad side and there is still something there that wants to overcome that. She's real, bold, honest and caring. Shes a bit of a weirdo, and she's not perfect but she tries and she really cares and that makes me want to be real with her. It makes me want to be the person that i hide away but is actually the more genuine me...
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On March 16 2013 00:26 hoby2000 wrote:
First - Assuming that a whore is evil was your assumption.
Second - I'm not saying women are evil. I don't believe in genderalizaitions (I just made that up... generalizations about gender!), and therefore, I'm not saying that everyone woman is a whore, or even that whore is a bad thing
...
Girls aren't always whores. Whores aren't always evil, and women who actually want a lasting relationship will date the guys who are good friends first, and a better lover later.
I'm just saying, the word 'whore' is a synonym for 'prostitute' and when used to describe a woman that is not actually a prostitute, it has a pretty negative connotation (see also: 'slut'). Regardless of whether or not *you* think being a 'whore' is a bad thing, that connotation is implied every time you use the word. And maybe the TL crowd just skews younger so this sort of thing is a bigger deal, but the girl in the OP is not a 'whore' when the sum total of her actions is...she kissed a dude, then is acting weird about it later. It's not like she banged 5 dudes after being like "peace out OP!"
I think it's pretty easy when hanging out in an echo chamber filled with socially introverted videogamers to develop casual attitudes towards throwing words like 'whore' around to describe girls. Don't fall into that trap!
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/ftJCn4w.png)
