EPTThis entry has huge spoilers from the sitcom named Friends, do not read further if you have Friends of your own
Lately, I've been watching a lot of the typical sitcoms of my teenage years: That 70s Show, Seinfeld, Frasier, Everybody Loves Raymond and Friends (shoutout to Tidus and Family Matters) and I finally decided to hit the big sitcom show called Friends because of how much it used to make me laugh. While Seinfeld has a sort-of cynical and pessimistic feel to it (I love Curb your Enthusiasm), Friends is so light-hearted and great, until about Season 5-6 where Ross gets married again. Then things get pretty serious.
Right now, I'm at Season 8 out of 10 seasons at episode 17: The One with Tea Leaves, where Joey eventually confesses his love for Rachel. When I was a kid, I found Rachel and Jennifer Aniston, I was sure she had the largest breasts, best eyes, personality and somehow, her nipples always seem to make cameos through her shirt once a season. Rachel Green was hot (see centered image)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/yzEQx1l.png)
Seriously, mega-babe when my pre-teen hormones could control my penis and my attention
But as I started watching this for the past weak, about 10 episodes a day (in the background or as I'm falling asleep). I realize how aggravating this show and their writers tirelessly draw everything towards Rachel. Every season has an update about Rachel's crazy life since Episode 1: The One where Monica gets a Roomate.
The counter-argument to this is that I'm being selective about the episodes and how their lives progress differently, but to be real honest, some of this you can't ignore. Every season is a sort of new chapter for the series as something huge occurs amongst the friends. Monica's Marriage, Ross' Wedding, Rachel's Kiss with Joey (I just skipped to the last part of the last episode of Season 9 and he literally kisses her before the credits).
My whole argument about the show is this: [u]While we believe the synopsis to be "The lives, loves, and laughs of six young friends living in Manhattan.", it's really about Rachel Green's start of an independent life and her six supportive friends that get caught up with their own mingling. A bit sarcastic, yes, but whatever the five other friends do, it all comes back to; "How does this affect Rachel Green?" I mean take a look at the evidence:
- Season 1:
- Episode 1 - The One where Monica gets a Roomate: The show literally starts with everyone knowing each other somehow and the audience gets their first look at the group with Rachel running out of her marriage. The whole story starts with Rachel starting a new life while everyone else's life changes as we get further into the scene. To be fair, Ross is getting a divorce with his newly-admitted Lesbian partner (is anyone else reminded by Manhatten where Woody Allen also has a Lesbian ex-wife writing about their relationship?), but the episode ends back with Rachel, the coincidence that both of them are now "out" of their dedicated relationships and available to be "asked out sometime" (as Ross proposed the idea so casually).
- Episode 24 - The One where Rachel Finds Out: The last episode of Season 1 is about Rachel finding out how Ross has feelings for her. It's unfortunate that this approach of her "finding out" takes 24 episodes (more or less given it's not always about that) for her to figure out what he laid out so obviously in the first episode. She finds out and misses him as Ross leaves for China, only to come back with a woman. Rachel's torn and Season 2 starts from there. Already a season in and its a constant back-and-forth of unrequited love between the two. While it feels a bit rushed to start doing this already, it's even more annoying that it happens two more times throughout the whole series.
- Season 2:
- Episode 24 - The One with Barry and Mindy's Wedding: We ignored a lot of big surprises here. We ignored the faux-surprise of meeting Phoebe's stray father (he comes up later, he is the same actor who was that NBC executive that fell in love with Elaine). We ignored Ross having the child, the one where Ross finds out about Rachel's feelings and about Joey's acting career. They're all relatively minor because Ross has another child with Rachel that seems to make Ben appear a lot less and seem even less important and he also dates a ton of other women and gets married two more times (albeit short marriages). Joey is so irrelevant that they had to make a spin-off sitcom about him just to emphasize his irrelevancy. Phoebe as well is irrelevant because all her "progress" or "surprises" in the show are about her past. Her brother, her marriage with the gay guy (who somehow goes straight) and pregnancy are all tied to her past. Even meeting her mother/friend/Lily is tied to her past as well as her twin sister.
In any case, with this last Season episode, Rachel finds out about her friend getting married and attends her wedding. At the same time, Monica also breaks up with badass Tom Selleck because he does not want kids and she does. They tie both in but ultimately, Rachel story prevails about how she gets over Barry and her best friend Mindy marrying him and sets the record straight that she was not crazy, just that she didn't love Barry (though the audience doesn't really care because he's beyond unimportant). Scene closes with Monica having her last dance with Tom and moves on with her life (Rachel as well). Both of them get past their strongest relationship (Rachel does again - so to speak).
- Season 3:
- Episode 10 - The One where Rachel Quits: Season 3 is Rachel, Ross + Rachel, Rachel, Rachel + Ross. In that order. Halfway through the season, Rachel quits her coffee-serving job because the writers were tired of us guys admiring her in small cute skirt-aprons. This whole episode is about her freaking out over finding another job that she likes during the Christmas holidays.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/yG44JGu.png)
End of an era boys - Episode 15 - The One where Ross and Rachel take a Break: Perhaps the most annoying of episodes because its based on misunderstandings. The one where the writers really tested our tolerance about this Ross/Rachel back 'n' forth. At Rachel's new job, she meets someone named Mark. Ross, insecure about how close she is getting to Mark, goes ballistics and finds way to ensure that she is his and that Mark knows (later on, they go out once before never doing it again). Due to this trust issue because Ross has watched too many episodes of Clueless, Rachel suggests they go on a break. During that break, Ross actually has more than one beer in his life and gets drunk, makes out with a girl who wears too much eye-shadow.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/HsNhSti.png)
For the love of God man, you're a successful young guy with a university degree, you can do way better than a girl from the photocopy place
Next episode, Rachel gets mad about "being on a break" because he didn't reserve himself for her until she can make up her goddamn mind. What's ironic is that the entire show is them being on a constant "break" with in-between hook-ups to make sure they can still adequately satisfy one another (to the point she gets pregnant in Season 7). - Episode 25 - The One at the Beach: You'd think the story about Monic dating Jon Favreau would be a lot more enticing to watch, but in reality; it's about Rachel still having feelings for Ross as he gets it on with Christine Taylor (total babe in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story). But nope, it's about her trying to break them up for her own interests. I mean, this is where we find out about Phoebe and her real mother. But nah, let's wake 10 more episodes until Rachel and Ross get back on with one another. Ross debates about Rachel and Christine for 10 minutes with the guys, spends about 6 minutes breaking up with her and she leaves (don't even get to see that) and then the rest is about them trying to amend their relationship (by having Ross read about a letter Rachel wrote about how it's all his fault).
- Season 4:
- Episode 1 - The One with the Jellyfish: They break up, again. He doesn't agree with the letter, she's a melodramatic whiner and he's a hopeless romantic stuck with a child and a lesbian ex-wife. A short-lived relationship, truly.
- Episode 23-24 - The One with Ross' Wedding: Fast-forward past Phoebe pregnant, where the friends switched apartments in a bet and Rachel dates another guy and you're at Ross' wedding. 24 episodes and he proposes to Emily who has the hottest British accent around. This is the part where I really got annoyed because Ross is getting married to Emily in England and Rachel thinks it's a good idea to go over there, against Emily's wishes and the common sense that she admitted that it's a bad idea to do that.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/cMMvuIY.png)
He's my ex-boyfriend, but I'm somehow compelled to confess my feelings for him despite the fact that it's
1. too late,
2. ignore the cliche common saying that if you love someone, you need to let him/her free, if he/she doesn't come back: it wasn't meant to be and
3. your confession is merely a projection of your inability to [still] take-charge of your life and make your own decisions that you are confident and comfortable doing due to your previous lifestyle where your choices were around the dependency and leash of your father's morals and interests in you (which he gained permission to control you with through his credit card and your hopping of dependency with your ex-fiance: Barry
That being said, she goes anyways, Ross says the wrong name at the altar, Rachel interprets this as him still having feelings for her (somehow). The masses are swoon with their tug-and-pull relationship (where she pulls and he gets tugged around like a mule, oh brother).
- Season 5:
- Episode 24 - The One in Vegas: Getting annoyed yet? We're 1/2 way there and after Season 5, it's all downhill with Rachel being the centerpiece more and more. Throughout this season is pretty light on Rachel and more on Ross trying to salve his wedding and have his cake too. Emily, voicing the concerns of all fans and people with common sense, states she'll come and be with Ross if he stops seeing Rachel. Ross, being the idiot that he is, tries to do it then mans up and admits he can't do that because he still needs someone to help him get through his masturbation periods (cheap shot?).
The entire episode is about Monica and Chandler getting signs to get married, but unfortunately, they reconsider after Ross and Rachel get drunkenly married after constant brutish teasing with one another on the flight (for Joey's faux big career break). The rest is pretty irrelevant that serves no real purpose to be frank.
- Season 6:
- Episode 2 - The One where Ross Hugs Rachel: No light at the end of the tunnel yet. This episode is about Rachel moving out because Chandler wants to live with Monica (yet... they have two rooms... why can't they both stay?). Ross doesn't annul the marriage because he is somehow convinced that he is still in love with Rachel (thanks Phoebe for your pseudo-psychoanalytical skills). He gets a divorce from her later.
Later on, he also dates Rachel's younger sister who's Reese Witherspoon. Unfortunate that this doesn't last because Rachel meddles and Ross feels compelled to repel Reese away. I'm sure that much maturity will really win her heart Ross, good going!![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/qyEGaRM.png)
Small cameo of Larry David's wife in Curb your Enthusiasm :D!
- Season 7:
- Episode 1 - The One with Monica's Thunder
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/00a9MAe.png)
Pretty much the summary of Rachel's life. This was the tipping point for me and I just couldn't stand how she has to dramatize things on a good day about her friend. Another emotional, impulsive and unrestrained act of her where she needs to fill her confidence through sympathy and pity of her close friends. It was built up when she went to confess to Ross that she loved him at the end of Season 1 and through Season 2 when he came back with a Chinese girl (because he was tired of waiting of Rachel to get a clue). It happened when she went to interrupt the wedding of Emily and Ross (after having set them up due to her own pursuit for a guy...) and it'll happen here again and again during the wedding where she tells her female-friends she's pregnant and again in Season 9 somehow (I haven't gotten there yet as well as the last episode where all I remember is Ross and Rachel going to try at it again). - Episode 23-24 - The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding Rachel's Pregnant. Dunno who the father is. Monica gets proposed to marry Chandler in Episode 1, Rachel reflects her relationships. Monica is about to get married, Rachel skips a step and gets pregnant.
- Season 8:
- Episode 3 - The One where Rachel Tells Ross is the father, they did it once and they argue who came onto who because that's really what we all cared about. This whole season is Rachel & Pregnant, Rachel & Ross, Rachel & Joey, Rachel & Baby. I'm going to go through it real quick for you.
- Episode 8 - The One with the Stripper Rachel breaks it to her father that she's having a baby with Ross and that she isn't marrying him. This forces Ross to be straight with Mona about his predicament and she accepts it (somehow).
- Episode 9 - The One with the Rumor Brad Pitt visits and is mad at Rachel for ruining his high-school years. Started a club with Ross called the "I Hate Rachel Club".
- Episode 12 - The One where Joey Dates Rachel Because it isn't annoying enough that Rachel lives with Ross, can't date any other guys and is having Ross' baby, but now they have to rope Joey in with him being in love with Rachel. Ross is eventually cool with it and Joey gives it a shot for like a season and a 1/2.
- Episode 23-24 - The One where Rachel has a Baby She gives birth, gets mistakenly proposed by Joey (though Ross was going to propose to her) and she accepts.
But does anyone see how ridiculous it is. How it's about Rachel. For Monica and Chandler, One season to date, one season to marry. Some episodes about adopting children.
For Phoebe, scattered episodes about family, three children for her brother and she meets her guy at like Season 9. Joey gets nothing special except with Rachel.
Rachel gets the child, three wedding events (Barry, Barry & Mindy, Ross & Vegas, Joey & The Baby), breaks up/gets back with Ross like 4-5 times and litters every episode with her pining for relationships and feelings and her job. She's everywhere and you don't notice until you really start paying attention and keeping track (or maybe I'm too slow). The show should be called Friends of Rachel Green because of how much she pulls and drags people in and really makes it about her, similar to her beginning personality (and presumed high-school reputation).
I just spent a solid three hours on this. I'm somewhat ashamed and yet; really happy I got this out of my system. Now to watch the last two seasons and get on with my life.
Edit: OH wait, you wanna see somethin' freaky?
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/FVBdsWj.png)
Season 5 - Episode 23 - The One in Vegas
I know it's her spine but during that scene it just pops up and looks like a centipede is living inside here.
. I re-watch the entire Roseanne series about once a year lol. 
) an underlying emphasis on R&R? I think David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston had even declined higher salaries than the rest of the cast and kept it even, too.
