EPT
)I think I might be retarded. [girl blog] - Page 2
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Dirkzor
Denmark1944 Posts
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Fireflies
United Kingdom211 Posts
On December 10 2012 04:26 corpuscle wrote: Thanks for the advice, those of you that responded since my last post, it was a lot more helpful than what I was getting earlier. I think I'll probably buy her Mexican food (which she loves and I hate) and redbox Mean Girls (which she keeps trying to convince me to watch despite my protests), hopefully that'll cheer her up a little. Let us know how it goes when she dumps you. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45163 Posts
On December 10 2012 05:51 Fireflies wrote: Let us know how it goes when she dumps you. Don't be a jerk. Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made to try and make your partner (or people in general) feel better. corpuscle, as a math nerd who enjoyed the short amount of time when Lindsay Lohan was actually attractive, I found Mean Girls to be enjoyable (back in, like, middle/ high school)  Good luck | ||
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Apom
France656 Posts
On December 09 2012 19:47 corpuscle wrote: The issue isn't that I slept with another girl four years before we started going out, the issue is that I didn't tell her. I really don't get how people can't see that from what I said. You are mistaking the consequence for the cause. It is doubtless that if your sleeping with that other girl was not an issue, you would in fact have told her. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
UNLESS she specifically asked you about stuff like this and you lied about it, if that would be the case I can imagine why she'd be upset. | ||
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Azzur
Australia6260 Posts
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Flaccid
8857 Posts
On December 10 2012 17:40 Azzur wrote: You could've turned it to your advantage - you can say to her in a mischevious smile - "Now's your chance to be better than my memory of her!" Girls love love love this sort of stuff. That'll work great, if your goal is to not be in a relationship anymore. Yes, please allude to fond memories of her because most women aren't jealous nor insecure enough as it is. It's all really simple and what I'm going to say here can answer about 80% of the "what do I do" questions posted in these girl blogs. What you should do is apologize. It's not about what is right, what makes sense, one-up-man-ship, winning, or anything like that. If you care about the person, the particulars don't matter. Recognize that you upset them through your actions (or in this case, non-actions), swallow your pride and apologize. Even if something might be irrelevant to one party doesn't mean it's irrelevant to the other. You can appeal to some sense of understanding: "I'm sorry that I kept this from you, but it was before we were together and I didn't want any past events to taint our relationship. I realize now that I should have been more honest with you, knowing that this is something that would make you upset. If you're willing to believe me that nothing that happened before we were together has any bearing on my relationship with you, then I promise that I won't keep anything like this from you again." etc. If you can tell yourself honestly "the reason I didn't tell her was because I honestly didn't think it'd matter," then that's one thing. But don't fool yourself. You kept your mouth shut because you knew she'd be pissed off. So that's on you. It's like "oh hey, btw, now that we're married I should tell you that I'm a registered sex offender. But that was from before we were married so whatev!" Come on. | ||
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Salv
Canada3083 Posts
Anyone saying, 'Man you weren't wrong!' and 'Tell that bitch to stfu' or things like that - ya'll clearly haven't been in a relationship that has meant anything. The saying, 'You can right or you can be happy' is a joke, but it's somewhat true because when someone is hurt, it's going to be really tough to pull off putting all the blame on one person, even if it was all their fault, no one wants to feel like they 100% fucked up, especially women. | ||
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Flaccid
8857 Posts
And like Salv says, it's not about being 'right'. Right is a grey-area term in a relationship because you're always working context of compromise. | ||
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Kimmay
United States56 Posts
the problem here isn't that you didn't tell her about sleeping with a girl before you met. the problem is that you didn't tell her about sleeping with a girl that she hates before you met. go apologize again, but this time tell her the truth; that you were afraid she wouldn't give you a chance if she knew. make sure to include that you were wrong for not telling her sooner, that nothing between you and girl B will ever happen again, and that she (girl A/your girlfriend) means a thousand times more than girl B ever did. remind her (in a subtle way) about how you gave up all contact and friendship with girl B for her (girl A/your girlfriend). tell her if you ever had to pick between the two of you, you'd choose her (girl A/your girlfriend) every single time. tell her that if you had met her (girl A/your girlfriend) earlier, you never would have hooked up with girl B. then tell her you love her and will give her some time to think things through, but that you'd really like to make things work. and bring flowers. if you know her favorites, get those. if not, bring red roses. also sending flowers to her workplace, if she works in an office environment, is nice. | ||
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