EPTI’m only 20 years old, turning 21 in less than 2 months in the cold days of January but I can definitely say I’ve been through a lot so far. I’ve lost my sister in a car accident the day before she would’ve turned 18, she was pretty much my 2nd mom, whenever my dad grabbed the bottle and started drinking and smashing everything afterwards she’d pick me up and run upstairs and put me on her bed and lock the door ‘til everything was over, even though no one else was really allowed to go into her room as she was someone who wanted to have her privacy so..
I’ve lost 1 of my 2 brothers as well though honestly memories are vague when it comes to him.
Now, I was one of those “rich kids”, grew up in one of the wealthiest families in the town/city ‘til our dad left us. We basically almost ended up on the street but thanks to my mom, whom I’d call the strongest woman on the planet, we’re now living in a relatively big house but it’s nothing compared to the house where I’ve spent my first.. 8-10 years growing up, our lawn was bigger than a football (soccer) field, the house itself was worth millions in double digits etc.. ‘til our dad left us and my mom found out he had been cheating on her for years and I don’t really know the details but he got the house and he just sold everything, leaving nothing for us.
I still have 1 brother who’s 8 years older than me, who’s just ended his relationship with a girl I never really thought much of and they’re trying to get their house sold and for the time being he’s staying with us again which is a nice thing of course, the 2 brothers creating a good atmosphere in the house etc..
When it comes to school, I’ve never really put much effort in my studies, because I was arrogant at that time, so I ended up doing accountancy and management at high school, though, only graduated this year in January because I had quit school due to having a very bad experience when it comes to relationships and having lost our child (we were reckless, I’m not denying that nor am I avoiding that fact). In the end she was pretty much revealed being a slut more than anything else so.. Tried a few relationships afterwards, thinking that I was ready to move on but.. the loss of a child is a very hard thing and I haven’t really been able to move on from that and trusting someone is a hard thing for me nowadays, especially relationship-wise. I basically ended up in a depression for over a year, lost over 20 kg’s, stopped doing sport & everything else I did.
To sum the last part up, I went from hero to zero pretty much, I was the popular guy at school etc.. And then everything just changed. When I graduated this year I was relieved but at the same time I was disappointed in myself for being so arrogant, because right now I’m studying Science of Psychology in the most prestigious university of the country (at least when it comes to Science of Psychology) and I notice that when it comes to the course “Statistics”, my math is really not that good. I’m good with numbers, I hardly even need a calculator even for big calculations but.. symbol notation, that’s pretty much Chinese for me.
Though I have to say, I should’ve picked Applied Psychology instead of SCIENCE <= of Psychology, because all the scientific stuff doesn’t really interest me at all. Now, I’m at a point where I have about a week time to decide what I’m going to do.. I can change courses without anything bad happening with my credits etc etc etc.. But the biggest question is.. what do I really want and what is the SMART choice to make? Because, I love sports, I could do sports and then get a masters in anything relevant, including sports management which I really do like, or at least, the idea that I have about sports management really interests me. But, I can also go for a bachelor in applied economics and then get a masters in sports management. But, if I’d choose for applied economics, my worst enemy will show up again, which is statistics, or at least the symbol notations part of it.
Having a bachelor in sports really doesn’t mean much, whereas with a bachelor in applied economics, I’d be quite secure already for a decent job even if I’d fail at sports management for my masters.
I’m really just wondering, should I just go for what seems the most fun thing for me to do which is sports or should I make the smart choice and go with economics? I’ve always dreamt of playing professional basketball but due to my size (5”5-5”6) I realized that the chance of breaking through would be really slim (was 16 at that time), I mean, when you look at the nba for example, there’ve only been a handful of guys smaller than me who made it in there but.. That’s been years ago.
After I realized I wasn’t going to grow anymore, I wanted to get into the army, where I was automatically declined due to my diabetes, which I can understand but they decline people with diabetes for EVERY function within the army and that was kind of.. disappointing. After that I decided to finish school and move on, realizing I’d have to make it through studies and getting (a) degree(s) to make something out of my life. I don’t want to work in a store or in a factory or anything like that, same thing day in day out is just.. not my thing, unless it’s sports so..
I’m just really struggling right now, trying to figure out what to do. It’s pretty much my last chance, which I can understand because financially it’s a hit for my mom so.. I understand why she wants me to do it right and figure it out for myself right now and make the definite choice.
I’ve been thinking ‘bout going for coaching in basketball (bachelor in sports => master in training & coaching in the specific sport of your choice) but.. basketball in Belgium, it exists, obviously, but I wouldn’t want to be a coach in Belgium, I’d want to move to the States and do it there but.. What are the chances, you know, even I know the chances of that being possible are pretty slim. I’m not talking ‘bout being a coach in the nba or anything of that level, but high school or college basketball, but like I said, what are the chances, really.
Another thing, as a career, that really interests me is being a sports agent, which is why I want to study sports management.
I want to be able to live my life in a way I won’t regret and that means I have to make a living with something I really enjoy. I have many interests but always just to a certain extent, take it further than that specific spot where I’ve drawn the line and I’m just not interested anymore, just like with my current studies with all the scientific stuff in it which takes it too far to my likings. Except for sports (basketball specifically) which is something I honestly can’t even think of the possibility of it ever going too far to my likings.
So yeah,.. right now, what I’ve written above, is pretty much all I’m thinking about right now and any kind of advice, as long as it's relevant, is definitely welcome.
