-I live in a relatively good community with rather high property prices. (it isn't a ghetto by any means)
-I live in a primarily Asian community.
-I currently go to high school.
As a Chinese American, I am wondering why do people always admire Caucasians? All the Asian girls in this region (possibly everywhere) struggle to get white boyfriends. Asian boyfriends are a “last resort” and are stepping stones to better (and whiter) things. Additionally, white people who call Asians chinks never experience retaliation while calling a white person anything slightly derogatory will result in possibly getting attacked. Thank god the only classes I have had in which I encountered white people were PE and health. There aren’t many “normal” white people at my school. I define “normal” as does not get into fights, does not smoke weed, and cares about school and learning at least a little bit. Every white person seems to be the generic delinquent, loitering on campus for hours, smoking some pot with buddies, wandering the streets, skateboarding, and then getting home at 12, doing a half assed job on half of his homework, and then chatting with his Asian girlfriend until 3am. Additionally, old white women in cars sometimes honk and scream at my father for not yielding to them, even when he has right of way. This is a combination of the fact he is a “fucking chink” and he drives a ’97 civic. I find myself yielding to this pressure as well. For instance, last week I was watching something on my phone while standing on the sidewalk in the neighborhood. A white person came out of an adjacent home and told me to fuck off (because I am Chinese). I immediately ran away. However, had that been an Asian person, I probably would have reasoned with him and explained that I have the right to stand on the sidewalk because it is public property. A few weeks ago, a fat white woman in a car screamed and threated to kill me because I was riding my bike in the vehicle lane for a left turn, despite the fact I gestured left with my arm. This is completely legal and is required for the safety for both the cyclist and drivers. She screamed, “GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD, YOU DON’T OWN THE ROAD.” I immediately complied. You see, I fear white people. I think white people are better than me, even though I can’t bring myself to admit it. I just listen to them because they are white, and because I’ve been taught by society than I’m the white man’s bitch. In my subconscious, I think they are better than me in every way because they are white and I’m Asian. Are white people really better than me? Maybe. They are taller, have more angular facial features, are stronger, are more athletic, and are faster than Chinese people. They have been pwning eastern society’s military, economy, and society ever since the Ming dynasty. This has caused me to continually consider the nature of this superiority. Are whites really the master race and is that why I am the white man’s bitch? Or am I actually just as good as the white man, and I’ve just let my weak peers influence my perspective of the world? This is something to think about, and maybe some of you guys can give me an answer.