Sorry for grammar, on my phone when i typed this..
*Part 1*
Hey teamliquid,
I've been a TLer for a while now, and i've read a lot of blogs, so heres my own. I havent played sc2 for about a month cuz it tends to ruin my life, but everything I've learned these past few years in this esport/community have been applicable to real life.
So I've seen lots of "Road to GM" blogs and stuff like that, so I thought I'd make my own called "Road to Getting Laid".
So, I'm gonna talk to y'all about myself and my endeavours up until now, and I'll keep updating each time something significant happens.
Here I go!
Im a 17 yr old grade 12 (senior) student. Kissless virgin. Never had a gf. Im not unattractive (atleast imo), I rather blame my incompetence with ladies on the fact that I'm insanely shy (borderline aspie). But last friday, I built up the courage to ask out the coolest, debatably hottest girl in school.
We've been friends for like 2 yrs. I liked her for a while, but started hating her once she started dating the biggest douchbag bonehead to stumble across the face of the earth. When they broke up, my passion for her sort of reappeared.
So last week, wednesday to be exact, I was going to ask her out last class, but obviously, she skips that class and goes home before I can say anything. I message her after school while im at work and say "Hey, skipped class? I was gonna ask you something important in English but u werent there t..t"
She replies with "Ask me tomorrow "
I thought I sealed the deal, she was gonna be my first gf. I was gonna get laid. To be honest, I dont think I wouldve had the guts to ask her out if she hadnt msg'd me that. Anyway...
Next day, she doesnt come to school till the end of the day since she had free periods all morning. No opportunity to ask her. Fuck me.
So the day after that (friday), I'm walking down the hall with her, talking bout random stuff, then we stop talking and just walk. We're both wondering when I'm gonna ask her. So I awkwardly and nervously say: "So... Ummm.. Do you wanna, like, study for the bio test with me sometime or something some time?".
Word for fucking word. And I even tried planning something out before hand. T-T
So, she says: "Uhh yeah sure."
WTF?....
Fuck yeah!!!! Im gonna go on a date, and kiss and get laid, and im gonna have a girlfriend!
Im like: "so when do you want to talk bout this". In a really serious way, she says "just message me" and walks away. Even though that was sorta weird, I walk to class totally stoked. Probably the happiest I ever was, ever.
So I msg her when I get home and say: "Hey sorry for acting so awkward. I guess I was just really nervous". I send it. And wait. And wait. And continue waiting. No reply, so i go to bed, and wake up early to check. Nothing. And then I realise its saturday and I need to go to work. I feel sick to my stomach because of all these emotions.
While im working at the deli in the grocery store near my house, making pita chips, she msgs me and says she'd love to hang out, but doesnt want to date anyone atm.
Made me kinda mad, but I think about it and tell her that "I respect her stance" and that "being her friend would make me just as happy as anything else we could be". I teared up a bit when I wrote that msg.
Anyway, thats all for now. Peace out guys and thanks for the support.
On September 30 2012 12:57 meguca wrote: I don't really see how studying with someone is considered a date.
Because people have different perceptions...
To one person a date may entitle going out on a romantic dinner, then going for a drive or watch a movie - followed by kissing or having sex.
To the next, it may just mean studying or spending time with them - intimately.
Yes, but when you ask someone if you want to study together, that usually means one thing - academic work. It most certainly has no romantic connotations.
On September 30 2012 12:57 meguca wrote: I don't really see how studying with someone is considered a date.
Because people have different perceptions...
To one person a date may entitle going out on a romantic dinner, then going for a drive or watch a movie - followed by kissing or having sex.
To the next, it may just mean studying or spending time with them - intimately.
Yes, but when you ask someone if you want to study together, that usually means one thing - academic work. It most certainly has no romantic connotations.
Yeah, his scenario doesn't sound too promising. In college, all my studying was for studying... In high school, most girls did NOT tiptoe and act cute. They're blunt if they want your junk. If they want your undying affection, they might study with you, but if they want the penis, they will not leave much to the imagination. Although the girl I used to study math with is now my fiance...
imo getting laid isn't all that, but usually girls need time after breakups Getting a best friend who you can share experiences with to me is more worth it at your age ^^
On September 30 2012 12:57 meguca wrote: I don't really see how studying with someone is considered a date.
Because people have different perceptions...
To one person a date may entitle going out on a romantic dinner, then going for a drive or watch a movie - followed by kissing or having sex.
To the next, it may just mean studying or spending time with them - intimately.
studying is like the worst date ever, who does that.
she thought you were being friendly and then got creeped the fuck out when you got all serious on her. calm down and be cool about it because right now she's realizing that you misinterpreted what you said.
edit:
imo getting laid isn't all that, but usually girls need time after breakups Getting a best friend who you can share experiences with to me is more worth it at your age ^^
also, this. getting laid the first time is a really big deal until you get over the "hump" (lolol) and then suddenly you stop caring because you realize it's pretty meaningless. don't ruin a friendship just because you wanna get your dick wet, you're only 17.
double edit:
btw she has friends... protip: if you really wanna get laid, make friends with girls that aren't interested in you "that way" and they will say good things about you to other girls that may be interested.
a girl is almost always ready to date. those generic "i dont' wanna date anyone at the moment" is just a excuse. her grandpa might die tomorrow and if you are there to comfort her, she's "ready" to date you.
On September 30 2012 14:32 GhostOwl wrote: you just got friendzone'd
a girl is almost always ready to date. those generic "i dont' wanna date anyone at the moment" is just a excuse. her grandpa might die tomorrow and if you are there to comfort her, she's "ready" to date you.
This just got dark, lol.
"I'm a nice guy, I respect a girl's feelings, unlike those assholes I'll be there when her grandfather dies...waiting, prowling."
Other than that, it really isn't that complex. Stop getting the hots for girls that you have been friends with for extended periods of time. I'm not saying friends never fall in love, but it rarely happens for both sides.
You are better off trying to be more pro-active in meeting people, and when you decide you think someone is attractive, go for it right away, don't bother with that "I'm gonna creep into your heart" bullshit. Be friends if you want to be friends, try to be more if that is what you want.
You are entitled to wanting things, and you are entiteld to pursueing those things.
As for getting laid, the difficulty depends on where you live. It is next to impossible in a town where you have a negative reputation, like being socially weird. In a city though, it is pretty easy.
I disagree with the people that say that getting laid for the first time isn't important. Something is important to you if you feel that it is important.
You should make every attempt you can to bang as many high school girls as you can. High school is so utterly unimportant to the rest of your life that you are doing your future self a grave disservice by not getting high school ass now. The window for this kind of stuff is very small, so go for it and don't worry about the imagined consequences of your actions. When you finish high school, you will never see 90% of these people again.
If you get a 16 year old girl when you're 16, you're awesome. If you get a 16 year old girl when you're 22, you're a pedophile.
On September 30 2012 16:55 Ghin wrote: You should make every attempt you can to bang as many high school girls as you can. High school is so utterly unimportant to the rest of your life that you are doing your future self a grave disservice by not getting high school ass now. The window for this kind of stuff is very small, so go for it and don't worry about the imagined consequences of your actions. When you finish high school, you will never see 90% of these people again.
If you get a 16 year old girl when you're 16, you're awesome. If you get a 16 year old girl when you're 22, you're a pedophile.
Bad advice. He could get a girl pregnant at the age of 16 and fuck up his life
On September 30 2012 16:55 Ghin wrote: You should make every attempt you can to bang as many high school girls as you can. High school is so utterly unimportant to the rest of your life that you are doing your future self a grave disservice by not getting high school ass now. The window for this kind of stuff is very small, so go for it and don't worry about the imagined consequences of your actions. When you finish high school, you will never see 90% of these people again.
If you get a 16 year old girl when you're 16, you're awesome. If you get a 16 year old girl when you're 22, you're a pedophile.
Bad advice. He could get a girl pregnant at the age of 16 and fuck up his life
Nah bro if she's pregs it's her dumbass bitches fault lol
On September 30 2012 16:55 Ghin wrote: You should make every attempt you can to bang as many high school girls as you can. High school is so utterly unimportant to the rest of your life that you are doing your future self a grave disservice by not getting high school ass now. The window for this kind of stuff is very small, so go for it and don't worry about the imagined consequences of your actions. When you finish high school, you will never see 90% of these people again.
If you get a 16 year old girl when you're 16, you're awesome. If you get a 16 year old girl when you're 22, you're a pedophile.
Bad advice. He could get a girl pregnant at the age of 16 and fuck up his life
If he's too stupid to figure out how to work birth control devices, he shouldn't be trying to have sex.
great blog, could find myself very well in there. Why do you think sc2 tends to ruin your life?
For me, starcraft2 helped me so much in terms of reallife mindset and motivation to work hard for reults (class test preparations, doing sports way more intensive and so on).
Well, she's just after a breakup so give her some space? Just be with her, that sounds reasonable. She seems to know your intentions well enough. Also, don't treat her like a target. That fucking sucks.
Try 'do you want to get a cup of coffee with me this weekend' next time.
Don't build up the whole thing with, 'i have something important to tell you tomorrow', and don't ask her to give you a time, just tell her 'great, let's say 3 PM at Cafe ABC' if she says yes.
Hold on to that feeling though bro. Last night I wanted sex so I opened my phone, called a friend and had sex. I very much miss being 17.
Btw personal note: I was 17 when I started dating my first girlfriend (which lead to the obvious). I didn't come onto her like it was a .. as someone else put it, a target. We were friends. We liked each other enough. We went with her softball teammate to her beachhouse for the weekend. We ended up kissing after hanging out most of the day. We ended up dating after kissing for the rest of the day. Et cetera.
Notice where I went with that? 'We'. We recipocated each other. I'm not saying you have to be a pushover and aquiesce to anything this girl says. Nobody finds that attractive. But I wasn't going after her. If she's your friend and she likes you then talk to her. Don't be pushy and don't be timid. This all sounds fucking complicated and weird to a 17 year old but tl;dr all it means is be yourself. Don't get nervous and try to build things up. Just be yourself, hanging out with your friend that you like.
Also, this was the first and only girl blog I've posted something positive in for 2012. Listen to me or you'll be cursed by a thousand sexless seasons.
On September 30 2012 20:00 Probe1 wrote: Hold on to that feeling though bro. Last night I wanted sex so I opened my phone, called a friend and had sex. I very much miss being 17.
Btw personal note: I was 17 when I started dating my first girlfriend (which lead to the obvious). I didn't come onto her like it was a .. as someone else put it, a target. We were friends. We liked each other enough. We went with her softball teammate to her beachhouse for the weekend. We ended up kissing after hanging out most of the day. We ended up dating after kissing for the rest of the day. Et cetera.
Notice where I went with that? 'We'. We recipocated each other. I'm not saying you have to be a pushover and aquiesce to anything this girl says. Nobody finds that attractive. But I wasn't going after her. If she's your friend and she likes you then talk to her. Don't be pushy and don't be timid. This all sounds fucking complicated and weird to a 17 year old but tl;dr all it means is be yourself. Don't get nervous and try to build things up. Just be yourself, hanging out with your friend that you like.
On September 30 2012 12:57 meguca wrote: I don't really see how studying with someone is considered a date.
Because people have different perceptions...
To one person a date may entitle going out on a romantic dinner, then going for a drive or watch a movie - followed by kissing or having sex.
To the next, it may just mean studying or spending time with them - intimately.
Yes, but when you ask someone if you want to study together, that usually means one thing - academic work. It most certainly has no romantic connotations.
Yeah, his scenario doesn't sound too promising. In college, all my studying was for studying... In high school, most girls did NOT tiptoe and act cute. They're blunt if they want your junk. If they want your undying affection, they might study with you, but if they want the penis, they will not leave much to the imagination. Although the girl I used to study math with is now my fiance...
Mountaindewjunkie you are a boss. Also my gf asked to study debate work with her in order to spend extra time with me, but she was also kind of blunt about it, so I dont know what to think haha.
Thanks for all the support and advice, everyone. Next blog post, I'll prob go into detail about the history I have with this chick, or other endeavours I'm curently working on.
And to Illusion: Just because youre pro, you cant just go around being a douchebag to everyone in this community.
I dont understand why you think studying = getting laid. Most of my high school relationships didnt even involve sex, just kissing and oral. Also your first time is probably not going to be the stuff of legends that your grandchildren will speak of for decades. I think you need to aim lower because if a girl says that she isnt ready to date, you aren't her cup of coffee.
You don't actually like this girl. if you liked her then why did you abandon her when she dated the foot ball guy?? you just think she is smokin hot and groovey cool. theres plenty of those out there. the only thing that indicates that you're on the path to getting laid is you learned how to deal with rejection responsibly. This is coming from a guy who got laid one night on the full moon.
On October 01 2012 07:13 meteorskunk wrote: You don't actually like this girl. if you liked her then why did you abandon her when she dated the foot ball guy?? you just think she is smokin hot and groovey cool. theres plenty of those out there. the only thing that indicates that you're on the path to getting laid is you learned how to deal with rejection responsibly. This is coming from a guy who got laid one night on the full moon.
To be honest, I still liked her, that's why I hated her for dating that guy. I srsly dont like her just because of her looks.
On October 01 2012 07:13 meteorskunk wrote: You don't actually like this girl. if you liked her then why did you abandon her when she dated the foot ball guy?? you just think she is smokin hot and groovey cool. theres plenty of those out there. the only thing that indicates that you're on the path to getting laid is you learned how to deal with rejection responsibly. This is coming from a guy who got laid one night on the full moon.
To be honest, I still liked her, that's why I hated her for dating that guy. I srsly dont like her just because of her looks.
I believe you but i also believe that a person is capableof liking many people. He just has to get over the person he currently likes to begin liking the next person.
if you like her enough to stick with her when she obviously is not into you (via comment saying "i don't want to date atm) then you should probably be sure you like her even when she stinks of rotten milk in the morning and when she wears no make up.
sincerely, meteorskunk, the girl expert who has no girls.
On October 01 2012 06:45 acgFork wrote: Thanks for all the support and advice, everyone. Next blog post, I'll prob go into detail about the history I have with this chick, or other endeavours I'm curently working on.
And to Illusion: Just because youre pro, you cant just go around being a douchebag to everyone in this community.
Learn to take a little poke and fun here and there, also I swear stateofreverie was the op
On October 01 2012 06:45 acgFork wrote: Thanks for all the support and advice, everyone. Next blog post, I'll prob go into detail about the history I have with this chick, or other endeavours I'm curently working on.
And to Illusion: Just because youre pro, you cant just go around being a douchebag to everyone in this community.
Learn to take a little poke and fun here and there, also I swear stateofreverie was the op
I'm drunk, so this is going to sound stupid, but you should watch how comedians deal with hecklers in order to learn how to deal with rejection or awkward female situations. Basically, always control the frame of the discussion and always assume you're the final judge of what's 'what' in any situation.
Also, any serious topic that you want to avoid, is probably best avoid through humourous distractions rather than head-on acknowledgements.Girls make decisions based off of emotions, so their emotions are subject to change to don't take any of their statements as set in stone.
Obviously girls can't be thrown into one category and have 100% of them share the same behavior, there will always be an exception.
In my opinion, if a girl ever says something along the lines of "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" that means "I'm a nice person, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but no, not in a million years will I ever want to date you."
The first girl to ever say this to me was someone I'd known for a long time in school and she was the most honest person I knew, so I took her words at face value thinking.. "yeah, okay it makes sense that she's not ready, I'll just wait." Hahahahahaha, I wish I could go back and slap myself in the face for being such an idiot.
Advice would be to ask someone else out. And don't ask them to study unless you just want to study with them. You need to make your intentions clear or you're just going to get friend-zoned. Yes, there are girls out there that want to be friends first and then more, but that's the exception.
In a case like this it's not about "getting friendzoned" (friendzone isn't an applicable concept when you've had a long friendship already with some ins and outs, it means when you get to know someone new-ish and they decide what your potential is). At the point you were at OP, If you get strong enough feelings that you just can't act naturally around someone, you have to tell, although the more you can play it cool (meaning more humor, light heartedness, less anxious stuff, less building up and rehearsing) and the better you get at signal reading (honestly just takes practice, which is why high school relationship drama always happens) the better chance it has of turning out not painful.
The way you did it was scary and alien from your normal interactions (it seems like) so you are making a friend ->more transition look like it will be really awkward to her. What you have to do to do that transition (sometimes it's just doomed though and won't work no matter what) is go through it in the course of how you normally interact with each other. But it'll be easier to say what that is/was in this case if you post more about the history.
Also if she just broke up recently, that's the main case where the "I'm not ready for a relationship with anyone right now" can be truthful and is not a stone cold sign of disinterest (although it could be). And to add to what someone said earlier, I regret a lot more not making lasting friends in high school than I do not having had sex in high school. I like talking about your post though cause it's basically exactly how I was like at that age.
what the fuck, hello friendzone... i wanted a happy blog, she's not the right one for you =[
edit ok i read the op instead of just the ending, stop over thinking the situation.. you have to be a calous asshole to get girls.. you can still like them and be romantic/emotional, you just CAN'T show them that initially or you come off as a complete idiot in like 90% of situations.. as ridiculous as the PUA community is, they're actually really good at what they do, you should go check out some of their material for how to boost your success rates.
On October 02 2012 04:44 WolfBro wrote: Obviously girls can't be thrown into one category and have 100% of them share the same behavior, there will always be an exception.
In my opinion, if a girl ever says something along the lines of "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" that means "I'm a nice person, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but no, not in a million years will I ever want to date you."
I'm not sure if that's the case, or if I'm just trying to see the best of it because I want to be with her... And when I asked her out at school, she said yes. It was only the next day that she texted me saying she'd "Love to hang out, but doesn't want to date anyone right now".
On October 02 2012 06:09 Endymion wrote: what the fuck, hello friendzone... i wanted a happy blog, she's not the right one for you =[
edit ok i read the op instead of just the ending, stop over thinking the situation.. you have to be a calous asshole to get girls.. you can still like them and be romantic/emotional, you just CAN'T show them that initially or you come off as a complete idiot in like 90% of situations.. as ridiculous as the PUA community is, they're actually really good at what they do, you should go check out some of their material for how to boost your success rates.
On October 02 2012 06:09 Endymion wrote: what the fuck, hello friendzone... i wanted a happy blog, she's not the right one for you =[
edit ok i read the op instead of just the ending, stop over thinking the situation.. you have to be a calous asshole to get girls.. you can still like them and be romantic/emotional, you just CAN'T show them that initially or you come off as a complete idiot in like 90% of situations.. as ridiculous as the PUA community is, they're actually really good at what they do, you should go check out some of their material for how to boost your success rates.
Alternatively, stop caring so much what other people think and honestly be yourself. As long as you're not a total cunt you'll be much happier for it and the girl you find will be much more compatible with you.
On October 02 2012 06:09 Endymion wrote: what the fuck, hello friendzone... i wanted a happy blog, she's not the right one for you =[
edit ok i read the op instead of just the ending, stop over thinking the situation.. you have to be a calous asshole to get girls.. you can still like them and be romantic/emotional, you just CAN'T show them that initially or you come off as a complete idiot in like 90% of situations.. as ridiculous as the PUA community is, they're actually really good at what they do, you should go check out some of their material for how to boost your success rates.
You can like them, that's pretty given, but at least for me I could never respect them if I were following the PUA way of thinking, and that kills it for me. Just thinking about it in terms of "success rate" ...
But for you OP, one of the issues with this blog is your stated mission of getting laid is not compatible with trying to date someone you've been friends with. It's like the worst plan. If you are after a deep relationship and expressing feelings as a main priority, then maybe yes, but if as you say getting laid is the main priority, nooooooooooooo, big nono, start with a new person or a casual acquaintance and it's much easier, intentions will be clearer, rejection won't hurt even close to as much, etc..
okay... how to get a girl... first of all thats the wrong question.
you gotta "be" with a girl.
it doesnt matter if you are on a date or at school. you can even get a handjob under the desk if you play it right.
first of all you gotta accept your limitations. whether that be nervousness, shes out of your league whatever.
then you gotta know what you want and be able to acheive it.
last you gotta do a ton of reading in the situation. timing. flirting. read her signals as to whether she is interested or not.
you just gotta live man with both no's and yesses.
sometimes a no could turn out for you better than a yes.
know yourself. no what you want. know the girl.
stop asking a girl out who youve had hopes on forever but have never flirted with.
what if she says yes to be your girlfriend... now what... you still gonna be nervous... what now that shes yours you gonna uncomfortably kiss her and have a geniunely bad time?
whats the point of "getting a girl". you gotta know what to do with her.
since this forum is so big im prob wasting my time and no ones gonna respond to my post so.
On October 02 2012 13:10 RedTail wrote: okay... how to get a girl... first of all thats the wrong question.
you gotta "be" with a girl.
it doesnt matter if you are on a date or at school. you can even get a handjob under the desk if you play it right.
first of all you gotta accept your limitations. whether that be nervousness, shes out of your league whatever.
then you gotta know what you want and be able to acheive it.
last you gotta do a ton of reading in the situation. timing. flirting. read her signals as to whether she is interested or not.
you just gotta live man with both no's and yesses.
sometimes a no could turn out for you better than a yes.
know yourself. no what you want. know the girl.
stop asking a girl out who youve had hopes on forever but have never flirted with.
what if she says yes to be your girlfriend... now what... you still gonna be nervous... what now that shes yours you gonna uncomfortably kiss her and have a geniunely bad time?
whats the point of "getting a girl". you gotta know what to do with her.
since this forum is so big im prob wasting my time and no ones gonna respond to my post so.
I don't think you did anything wrong, op. You expressed your interest and she declined. Don't try to force the issue. Relationships are built on mutual compatibility, if you want her and try your best to come across as a nice, genuine, caring guy and she still doesn't want you...that's her loss. Move on and forget about her.
This blog is giving me some funny ass advertisements. (semi NSFW) It's partially cut off, but it says "Like Asian Women... they desperately want boyfriends."
Honestly the road to getting laid is pretty short. Go to a bar/club, find the drunkest chick there and party with her... take her home or whatever and go from there. It's nothing special really. If you want to take the "normal" route, it'll probably take a little longer depending on how the woman feels you.
On September 30 2012 12:43 acgFork wrote: So I awkwardly and nervously say: "So... Ummm.. Do you wanna, like, study for the bio test with me sometime or something some time?".
Oh man ... that's awkward.
Im like: "so when do you want to talk bout this". In a really serious way, she says "just message me" and walks away.
Oh...that's really awkward.
So I msg her when I get home and say: "Hey sorry for acting so awkward. I guess I was just really nervous". I send it. And wait. And wait. And continue waiting. No reply, so i go to bed, and wake up early to check. Nothing. And then I realise its saturday and I need to go to work. I feel sick to my stomach because of all these emotions.
GUH SO AWKWARD THIS MADE ME WANT TO CLAW MY EYES OUT (seriously)
lol well bro you didn't get the girl, but props for trying. Don't worry man, you'll get 'em next time -- important thing is to keep your head up and keep trying for the next girl. You feel crushed from her rejection, but trust me you'll be over her in a week. In fact, you should count yourself so lucky that she had the courtesy to be straight up honest with you -- vast majority of girls would just play the silent the game and leave you guessing and hanging.
EPT
"
![[image loading]](http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/oh-you-dog.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://imageshack.us/a/img853/5537/teamliquid.jpg)
