• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 18:47
CEST 00:47
KST 07:47
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL19] Finals Recap: Standing Tall5HomeStory Cup 27 - Info & Preview18Classic wins Code S Season 2 (2025)16Code S RO4 & Finals Preview: herO, Rogue, Classic, GuMiho0TL Team Map Contest #5: Presented by Monster Energy6
Community News
Flash Announces Hiatus From ASL35Weekly Cups (June 23-29): Reynor in world title form?12FEL Cracov 2025 (July 27) - $8000 live event16Esports World Cup 2025 - Final Player Roster14Weekly Cups (June 16-22): Clem strikes back1
StarCraft 2
General
The SCII GOAT: A statistical Evaluation Weekly Cups (June 23-29): Reynor in world title form? StarCraft Mass Recall: SC1 campaigns on SC2 thread How does the number of casters affect your enjoyment of esports? Esports World Cup 2025 - Final Player Roster
Tourneys
$5,100+ SEL Season 2 Championship (SC: Evo) FEL Cracov 2025 (July 27) - $8000 live event HomeStory Cup 27 (June 27-29) WardiTV Mondays SOOPer7s Showmatches 2025
Strategy
How did i lose this ZvP, whats the proper response Simple Questions Simple Answers
Custom Maps
[UMS] Zillion Zerglings
External Content
Mutation # 480 Moths to the Flame Mutation # 479 Worn Out Welcome Mutation # 478 Instant Karma Mutation # 477 Slow and Steady
Brood War
General
Flash Announces Hiatus From ASL BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ [ASL19] Finals Recap: Standing Tall Help: rep cant save Where did Hovz go?
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL20] GosuLeague RO16 - Tue & Wed 20:00+CET The Casual Games of the Week Thread [BSL20] ProLeague LB Final - Saturday 20:00 CET
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers I am doing this better than progamers do.
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Path of Exile What do you want from future RTS games? Beyond All Reason
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread The Games Industry And ATVI Trading/Investing Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Stop Killing Games - European Citizens Initiative
Fan Clubs
SKT1 Classic Fan Club! Maru Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread [Manga] One Piece [\m/] Heavy Metal Thread Korean Music Discussion
Sports
2024 - 2025 Football Thread NBA General Discussion Formula 1 Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 NHL Playoffs 2024
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
from making sc maps to makin…
Husyelt
Blog #2
tankgirl
Game Sound vs. Music: The Im…
TrAiDoS
StarCraft improvement
iopq
Heero Yuy & the Tax…
KrillinFromwales
Trip to the Zoo
micronesia
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 484 users

[Fiction] Isn't Everybody

Blogs > Shady Sands
Post a Reply
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-25 14:16:42
August 25 2012 14:15 GMT
#1
I met Sal on the Blue Line, coming back in.

Course, I'd known her for a while. She was the quiet, studious Chinese girl who always sat in the front row. She probably didn't know me though, given that I was the dude who slept in the back.

Anyhow, there I was, trying my best to stay awake and not miss my stop, when I saw her stumble aboard at the Western stop.

She sat across from me and didn't notice. Then she stood up and began to yell.

I wasn't sure what she was yelling about. I looked around to see if she had a friend with her who could take of her.

Nope.

When I'd asked my first girlfriend out on my first date, I'd started the phone call by asking if she was alone.

Isn't everybody, was her answer. Charlene was amazing. Probably spoiled me.

But back to Sal. She lasted two stops before the attendant escorted her off the train car. I followed.

I still don't remember why. Maybe I thought I could be a gentleman?

Nah, who am I kidding.

We walked for two blocks east, towards the lake. She was alternating between leaning against me and doing pirouettes in her heels.

I had to catch her once or twice. Okay, maybe a little more than once or twice. We were young and drunk. Or she was. I don't really remember.

I asked her where she lived.

"Morgan Towers," she blurted into my ear. She was leaning against me now. I could smell all the cosmopolitans she'd had.

I looked towards the lake. A half-circular cylinder stretching up to the sky, soft blue glow. "Like an erect..." I turned around. Now she was giggling like crazy.

Sometime during all of this, it had begun to rain. I pulled her close. Her striped shirt under the black denim jacket was now semitransparent. "Guess we'll just have to do laundry when I get home." More giggling.

I should probably back up a bit and tell you how she looked. She was five foot eight, 32B-24-34, and probably weighed about one hundred pounds dripping wet. Oh, and she had big eyes and ringlets that looked like they belonged on a 1940s movie star.

In short, she was way out of my league. But alcohol is man's best friend, I guess.

I know her measurements, because I ended up doing the laundry.

I found the opened bottle on the kitchen counter the next morning. It was orange, plastic, and she started crying when she saw me looking at it. AZT, anti-retrovirals.

Thank God I kept a condom in my wallet.

Oh shit.

I felt around my pockets, felt the sharp edge of the foil packet. It was still there.

Now we're sitting in bed, and I'm using her laptop to type this, and I'm not talking to her, and she's not talking to me.

We're watching a dating show. The host asks one of the contestants if she's ever kept a secret from her boyfriend. I look at Sal. Sal looks back at me. I say fuck it, and kiss her again.

**
Что?
Yurie
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
11802 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-25 16:53:52
August 25 2012 16:50 GMT
#2
The story felt a bit too basic in description and tension for me. I could follow the plot and abstractly see the mental situation of the people involved, I simply don't care about the characters.

The only thing that struck me after reading it, isn't that illegal? No emotional impact. It is a different way to look at the topic at hand though, very different from what I would do in a similar situation.

I liked the use of "Course", made it feel like the main character was somebody that would flunk high school from just using one word.
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
August 25 2012 22:24 GMT
#3
I thought it was alright. It's one of the shortfalls of writing a short short story, for sure. Pretty difficult to get your audience vested in a short story's characters if it's that short and posted on the Internet. Even shorter O. Henry-length stories will break the audience's attention span unless it's fantastic, so there's not too much you can do in terms of character development. What's more important is that it captures your attention and makes you wonder about those two people (it didn't for you so that's unfortunate I guess ). Just my two cents.
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-27 17:09:39
August 27 2012 17:08 GMT
#4
On August 26 2012 07:24 Aerisky wrote:
I thought it was alright. It's one of the shortfalls of writing a short short story, for sure. Pretty difficult to get your audience vested in a short story's characters if it's that short and posted on the Internet. Even shorter O. Henry-length stories will break the audience's attention span unless it's fantastic, so there's not too much you can do in terms of character development. What's more important is that it captures your attention and makes you wonder about those two people (it didn't for you so that's unfortunate I guess ). Just my two cents.


Heh--exactly the case. I keep thinking that there has to be a balance, or maybe one should just link all these first person stories together, make it a memoir of sorts. Enough words on paper from a FPOV, and eventually we will start caring about the first person narrator.

EDIT: Even if everyone in the story is completely undeserving of our sympathy (e.g. The Great Gatsby.)
Что?
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
OSC
20:00
Mid Season Playoffs
Gerald vs MojaLIVE!
ArT vs Jumy
SteadfastSC250
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
SteadfastSC 250
Livibee 149
ProTech76
StarCraft: Brood War
Artosis 628
Aegong 118
yabsab 31
NaDa 8
Dota 2
NeuroSwarm60
League of Legends
Dendi1268
Counter-Strike
fl0m1737
Stewie2K904
sgares275
Foxcn205
Super Smash Bros
Liquid`Ken53
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor141
Other Games
summit1g7986
Grubby2463
Pyrionflax184
ZombieGrub64
Mew2King63
monkeys_forever45
Organizations
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 20 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• davetesta91
• musti20045 40
• Hupsaiya 9
• IndyKCrew
• sooper7s
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• Migwel
• intothetv
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Kozan
StarCraft: Brood War
• blackmanpl 37
• Eskiya23 17
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
League of Legends
• Doublelift4172
• Jankos1806
• masondota2581
Other Games
• imaqtpie1077
• Scarra1005
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
1h 13m
The PondCast
11h 13m
RSL Revival
11h 13m
ByuN vs Classic
Clem vs Cham
WardiTV European League
17h 13m
Replay Cast
1d 1h
RSL Revival
1d 11h
herO vs SHIN
Reynor vs Cure
WardiTV European League
1d 17h
FEL
1d 17h
Korean StarCraft League
2 days
CranKy Ducklings
2 days
[ Show More ]
RSL Revival
2 days
FEL
2 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
3 days
RSL Revival
3 days
FEL
3 days
BSL: ProLeague
3 days
Dewalt vs Bonyth
Replay Cast
5 days
Replay Cast
5 days
The PondCast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2025-06-28
HSC XXVII
Heroes 10 EU

Ongoing

JPL Season 2
BSL 2v2 Season 3
BSL Season 20
Acropolis #3
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 2
CSL 17: 2025 SUMMER
Copa Latinoamericana 4
Championship of Russia 2025
RSL Revival: Season 1
Murky Cup #2
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 7
IEM Dallas 2025
PGL Astana 2025
Asian Champions League '25
BLAST Rivals Spring 2025
MESA Nomadic Masters
CCT Season 2 Global Finals
IEM Melbourne 2025
YaLLa Compass Qatar 2025

Upcoming

CSLPRO Last Chance 2025
CSLPRO Chat StarLAN 3
K-Championship
uThermal 2v2 Main Event
SEL Season 2 Championship
FEL Cracov 2025
Esports World Cup 2025
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.