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Hello TL!
This blog doesn't have any crazy junkie stories now that I'm (almost) living a normal life so don't expect too much from this one. (would still appreciate it if you gave it a read tho  )
Still haven't touched the devil's blood since the last time which is by far the longest I went without it. I had a few slips and took xanax a few times and some percocets once, but I don't plan on taking it regularly nor have the desire to. Why? Because there's so much more to living a normal life compared to the life of an addict. Of course I knew that already, but I'm truly starting to experience the difference.
Most people are aware of opiate withdrawal symptoms: the vomitting, cold sweats, constant nausea, extreme anxiety, depression, etc. But all the physical withdrawals only last about a week, and unfortunately, there's more to it than just that. There's something called Post Acute Withdrawl Syndrome (PAWS) which are mental withdrawal symptoms that linger around for months to even years after regular substance abuse.
+ Show Spoiler +
It's definitely gotten a lot better for me since but I feel the PAWS still lingering around. During the first month that I quit, my anxiety sky rocketed. I didn't want to be seen on campus by ANYONE, I never picked up my phone, and got extremely self conscious/insecure. There was this girl in my class that I became friends with while I was still using and I'd usually just walk with her after class was over, but with my anxiety, not a chance. I Usain bolted out the door (sorry I had to  ) so I can avoid talking to her (if I overcame my anxiety to even go to class that day). All I wanted to do was crawl into my bed, put the blanket around me and cease to exist.
My anxiety has gotten so much better since then and I can socialize again. I really hope it continues to get better.
Drugs are almost non existent in my life now, other than the nightly weed sessions to wind down. I got an internship (non pay) at a prestigious research institute and have summer school so I'm pretty busy most of the week. How the hell did I land an internship like that? I don't know either. I guess I was just extremely fortunate. When the other interns talk about school and their future, I get pretty insecure because I'm so behind everyone...still haven't figured out what I wanna do with my life and my shitty grades don't help either. I was even on the verge of getting kicked out of school.
There's this cute girl there. She's graduating this summer. I haven't talked to her yet, I only know this because we had to introduce ourselves at a meeting once. I see her studying for her PCAT. She probably has good grades and is super motivated. I don't have interest in her, but I still think to myself, "There's no way a girl like that would ever like me."
There is a girl that I'm slightly interested in tho. She's in my summer school class. I finally had the balls to go introduce myself to her a few days ago but haven't seen her since. She's one of those good girls, would probably freak the fuck out at even just the thought of drugs lol. Again, I get self conscious because I'm behind in school so everyone in my class is younger than me. If she knew I'm older she'd probably think, "What's this loser doing in this class?" Maybe I'll post updates in my next blog...
Hope I didn't bore you guys with my normalish life. To me, living a normal life is pretty damn exciting. I have things to look forward to other than the next hit. Of course actually dealing with emotions is pretty damn hard and takes a little getting used to, but I haven't felt this alive in a very long time.
Anyway, not sure if I'm gonna continue posting blogs because it looks like it's just gonna turn into another girl blog hahaha. Thanks to everyone that supported me, sent me pm's, and read my blogs!!
TL<3 
 
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Italy12248 Posts
I remember reading your very first blog on heroin, and seeing you make it this far is amazing. Congratulations!!!
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Dude, I'm a normal kid living in a rural area and I never had anything to do with drugs (besides beer lol), and I probably won't ever have to. But your blog is very inspirational and I love reading them. Reading them makes me appreciate life even more.
Seeing your attitude and motivation, I'm sure you'll crawl your way to become someone 'that girl', you were talking about, would happily take.
I wish you all the best.
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After that first blog I didn't think you would actually quit,looks like you're doing good,best of luck!
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To be honest, I haven't read any of your blogs before, besides the different levels of addiction between drugs. After seeing this one, I went back and read the rest of them, and to be quite honest, it makes me quite happy so see someone bust through and conquer something like drug addiction. I applaud you for trying so hard to become clean, and because of it, the rest of your life will be better. Keep going strong, you have so much more to look forward to!
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Nice work man!
Drug addiction is a really shitty thing and it does take a pretty hefty blow to some aspect of your life for you to realize you have a problem, but one of the real benefits of going through it and coming out the other side is an awareness of the darker sides of human behaviour as well as an appreciation for 'normalcy'.
Work hard and stay sobre and you'll be able to appreciate your life and the simple, but deeply rewarding pleasures you can get from it if you apply yourself.
I sound like some sort of terrible life coach... >.<
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Wow. Did you have any help quitting?
Did you go cold-turkey?
If you answered no to the first or yes to the second, you are one of the stronger people I've seen. Most people become enslaved to the more addictive drugs like heroin, but the fact that you managed to break free is impressive. Really, really impressive.
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On August 20 2012 07:38 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:
Wow. Did you have any help quitting?
Did you go cold-turkey?
If you answered no to the first or yes to the second, you are one of the stronger people I've seen. Most people become enslaved to the more addictive drugs like heroin, but the fact that you managed to break free is impressive. Really, really impressive.
I didnt have help and I cold-turkeyed heroin but still used other drugs to help with the wihdrawals and then weened off the other drugs. I still had physical withdrawals symptoms tho. Thanks for your comment, I hope I can stay strong
On August 20 2012 07:37 adwodon wrote:
Nice work man!
Drug addiction is a really shitty thing and it does take a pretty hefty blow to some aspect of your life for you to realize you have a problem, but one of the real benefits of going through it and coming out the other side is an awareness of the darker sides of human behaviour as well as an appreciation for 'normalcy'.
Work hard and stay sobre and you'll be able to appreciate your life and the simple, but deeply rewarding pleasures you can get from it if you apply yourself.
I sound like some sort of terrible life coach... >.<
haha no it's good advice
Thanks yall!
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I was just wondering how you were. Good to hear, man. Stay strong!
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Good to hear that you're doing well!
Good luck with the girl :3
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On August 20 2012 07:51 danmooj1 wrote:Show nested quote +On August 20 2012 07:38 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:
Wow. Did you have any help quitting?
Did you go cold-turkey?
If you answered no to the first or yes to the second, you are one of the stronger people I've seen. Most people become enslaved to the more addictive drugs like heroin, but the fact that you managed to break free is impressive. Really, really impressive. I didnt have help and I cold-turkeyed heroin but still used other drugs to help with the wihdrawals and then weened off the other drugs. I still had physical withdrawals symptoms tho. Thanks for your comment, I hope I can stay strong Show nested quote +On August 20 2012 07:37 adwodon wrote:
Nice work man!
Drug addiction is a really shitty thing and it does take a pretty hefty blow to some aspect of your life for you to realize you have a problem, but one of the real benefits of going through it and coming out the other side is an awareness of the darker sides of human behaviour as well as an appreciation for 'normalcy'.
Work hard and stay sobre and you'll be able to appreciate your life and the simple, but deeply rewarding pleasures you can get from it if you apply yourself.
I sound like some sort of terrible life coach... >.< haha no it's good advice Thanks yall!
Is it still considered cold turkey if you substitute it with other drugs though? What kind of drugs did you substitute it with?
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I read your first blog and then this is the latest one I read, you have really come a long way. Good luck with your recovery (and that girl, go get 'em)
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On August 20 2012 10:05 MaxwellE wrote:Show nested quote +On August 20 2012 07:51 danmooj1 wrote:On August 20 2012 07:38 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:
Wow. Did you have any help quitting?
Did you go cold-turkey?
If you answered no to the first or yes to the second, you are one of the stronger people I've seen. Most people become enslaved to the more addictive drugs like heroin, but the fact that you managed to break free is impressive. Really, really impressive. I didnt have help and I cold-turkeyed heroin but still used other drugs to help with the wihdrawals and then weened off the other drugs. I still had physical withdrawals symptoms tho. Thanks for your comment, I hope I can stay strong On August 20 2012 07:37 adwodon wrote:
Nice work man!
Drug addiction is a really shitty thing and it does take a pretty hefty blow to some aspect of your life for you to realize you have a problem, but one of the real benefits of going through it and coming out the other side is an awareness of the darker sides of human behaviour as well as an appreciation for 'normalcy'.
Work hard and stay sobre and you'll be able to appreciate your life and the simple, but deeply rewarding pleasures you can get from it if you apply yourself.
I sound like some sort of terrible life coach... >.< haha no it's good advice Thanks yall! Is it still considered cold turkey if you substitute it with other drugs though? What kind of drugs did you substitute it with?
Somas, Xanax and Tramadols.
Not sure if that's considered cold turkey...good question lol
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