EPT[Girl Blog] Feeling pretty down... - Page 2
| Blogs > dongfeng |
|
pebble444
Italy2503 Posts
| ||
|
maximilon
New Zealand9 Posts
If you have an attraction beyond friendship, make sure you keep it flirty and risky. In my experience, It's actually not that common for attractions to develop into really great friendships, so you need to decide if you want to be friends of if you want to risk it in the hopes of developing an emotional relationship. Also in my experience, it doesnt really matter if you 'act' fast enough. By remaining flirtatious during the inital stages of the relationship and by keeping out of the friendzone, you can actually spark that attraction at a later date. (in this case, she has found someone else) Dont worry about it, if it doesnt work out, guess whos on her mind? Oh! the flirty guy who we never really had a chance to hang out. She will think about you and that inital attraction will still be there. If you develop into friends, this is unlikly to happen. Although great relationships can develop out of friendships first, its actually not that common and certian criteria are a lot harder to meet. I think the best thing for you to do is just accept that the timing was a little off, by acting faster or more aggressive you may have gotten on that date, but like you said you were busy - it happens in life and people who are single need to put themselfs first. The most important thing is to keep out of the friendzone and keep it flirty, take the risk and make sure you are giving the signs for something more. The biggest issue people have with dating is that they are too anxious to be risky, and end up showing signs of friendship rather than attraction. This ultimately ends up in a failed dating system, that always ends in 'nice guy friends bubble'. I will tell you a secret, anyone can be attracted to anyone! It's actually by taking the risks that you will fall in love and get the interest to fall for you. (anxiety in a budding relationship is actually what causes the 'love' emotion to go overboard, the more risks you take the easier is it to fall in love, the more it connects the more they will think about you) My Advice? Move on to another girl, and get on that inital date by being funny, flirty and fun. the three F's is all you need and you will be on her mind all day after that, she will be summing you up as a potential love interest. You have gotten out quick and easy, without any emotional attatchments to worry about. Sweet!! You have another chance to make another girl really happy and have fun, what a sweet opportunity! lucky her huh? go get em' | ||
|
Arcanefrost
Belgium1257 Posts
| ||
|
maximilon
New Zealand9 Posts
On July 15 2012 20:37 Arcanefrost wrote: Girls who bring their friends to dates are a total waste of time. Don't even make up excuses like the emergency thing imo. While hilarious for you and your friend, it's not really helping you. Next time she will just bring her friends again since you didn't say anything about it. When this happens to me I just tell the girl I wanted to spend time with her,not with her friends. Then tell her that her I'm going to another bar and she's welcome to join me, but I'm not going to spend my evening here with people I don't know. It's not like anything is going to happen if her friends are around anyways, and by leaving you're the confident guy she can't get. Just walk away. If she likes you, she will either venue change with you, or go after you later on. If she doesn't like you it's over, but then there was nothing to lose in the first place. Just be a bit of an asshole, being nice and hanging with her friends gets you nowhere. So true! I was once flirting with a chick that i knew from friends, she actually came to a party of mine with her friends and grabbed me while i was socializing to ask for a mirror. So i take her up to my room and shes showing major flirting signs, grabbing my arm, leading her head on my shoulder. So i'm like sweet this chicks ridicioulsy hot, ect.. Anyway the friends she had with her that night were like impossible to get rid of, my wingman was trying his hardest but no dice. The next day i recieved text/fb invites/ contant flirty communication, we basicly played cat and mouse for two weeks showing up at parties and gigs that we knew each other would be there. One night i got a invite to come and see her at her place. I show up, her exboyfriend is sitting outside talking to some other friends of mine, so i join them for a smoke and get some bad energy, i decide to go inside and find her. Three guys were surrounding her, they were giving off intimidating vibes, one of them even started rubbin her sholder (alpha) I knew this was a set up at that moment(set up for her boyfriend to see all of the male attention she has) I thought fuck it im better than any of you bitch asses right here. I basicly looked at her, said hey im leaving, and left. I have standards and even though she was amazingly hot i thought fuck it ima cut you off, better girls to chase and im better than the dudes you got around you. The next day i get messages like (fuck im sosooo sorry, blablabla, lets meet up tonight for a drink) I ended up in her bed. By showing confidence, power, control and the ability to get over her and show that you dont play games. The girl will always be sorry, i guarntee i was on her mind that entire night, and she texted me first thing in the morning. We saw each other for a while, fucked around for a bit and her ex boyfriend started getting jealous so i thought, aint worth the stress and time, ima bail and we parted our ways. (semi-friends, dont really connect in conversation all that well anymore) I guess the moral is, take the risk. Be better than what she thinks she has, and be confident that you can get better than that. | ||
|
BreAKerTV
Taiwan1658 Posts
On July 15 2012 18:44 dongfeng wrote: lol i could wax lyrical about how i thought she was "the one" but i think that would be counterproductive  yea he's my fkn hero. I like Bao Chun Lai too but that guy retired -_- If you really wanna be on even terms with her, you have to let her know she's a bitch. You can do this through the following methods: 1) Delete her from Facebook. 2) stop talking to her completely. 3) every time she tries talking to you, just pretend nothing's there. Honestly, if a girl puts you on the back-burner, which in my perspective it seems like that's what she was doing, then she is not worth your time. I've been in the same situation as you, but on a much more grandeuse scale. | ||
|
GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
Next time be more agressive/flirty whatever, being nice to girls tells them you want to be friends. | ||
|
Iplaythings
Denmark9110 Posts
On July 15 2012 21:02 RogerX wrote: What i've learnt about girls these past years is that being nice doesn't get you anywhere with them. Works fine, though you just cant serve yourself on a silver platter either | ||
|
SarR
476 Posts
| ||
|
Endymion
United States3701 Posts
| ||
|
B.I.G.
3251 Posts
On July 15 2012 20:35 ahswtini wrote: "Fucking Felicity man" was the Day9 response I think the problem is that he isn't. | ||
|
Salv
Canada3083 Posts
I've been in situations when I was younger where I would be interested in a woman but I would be too shy to just ask her out, and the result was similar - never any 1v1 time, always with a group. It was irritating but ultimately I simply was too shy. | ||
|
opsayo
591 Posts
if a girl really likes you she'll find a way to meet up | ||
|
dongfeng
731 Posts
Btw on phone so yes its a bit sms'ey... dont warn pls Re risky i agree. Shows the importance of multiple options so u can afford to be riskier and not be scared about not having a safety net. Re nice guy i think theres a time and place for it but it cant be too early Yea she msged me hoping i had fun and sry for hijacking etc. I dont feel like dealing wth the bs so ill just ignore her. | ||
|
B.I.G.
3251 Posts
On July 16 2012 08:19 Salv wrote: I don't understand how this happened that she brought a whole crew along. I'm not saying that this is what happened, but to an objective listener it seems more likely than you simply did not make it clear you wanted a date and not just to hang out, but if you did and she brought friends that's really bizarre. I've been in situations when I was younger where I would be interested in a woman but I would be too shy to just ask her out, and the result was similar - never any 1v1 time, always with a group. It was irritating but ultimately I simply was too shy. If I have plans to hang out with a friend I'm not gonna be like: "surprise! I brought my gf two of my roommated a classmate and my mother with me!" right? At least, where I'm from you wouldn't do that without asking the person you initially had the plans with, so I don't think she did this because she didn't know any better. | ||
|
Mythal
Spain108 Posts
On July 15 2012 20:37 Arcanefrost wrote: Girls who bring their friends to dates are a total waste of time. Don't even make up excuses like the emergency thing imo. While hilarious for you and your friend, it's not really helping you. Next time she will just bring her friends again since you didn't say anything about it. When this happens to me I just tell the girl I wanted to spend time with her,not with her friends. Then tell her that her I'm going to another bar and she's welcome to join me, but I'm not going to spend my evening here with people I don't know. It's not like anything is going to happen if her friends are around anyways, and by leaving you're the confident guy she can't get. Just walk away. If she likes you, she will either venue change with you, or go after you later on. If she doesn't like you it's over, but then there was nothing to lose in the first place. Just be a bit of an asshole, being nice and hanging with her friends gets you nowhere. +1 Girls like assholes up to a certain point. Playing the role for a bit helps you more than being nice. | ||
|
dongfeng
731 Posts
On July 16 2012 19:39 B.I.G. wrote: If I have plans to hang out with a friend I'm not gonna be like: "surprise! I brought my gf two of my roommated a classmate and my mother with me!" right? At least, where I'm from you wouldn't do that without asking the person you initially had the plans with, so I don't think she did this because she didn't know any better. qft. yea im just kicking myself not for leaving earlier. | ||
|
Salv
Canada3083 Posts
On July 16 2012 19:39 B.I.G. wrote: If I have plans to hang out with a friend I'm not gonna be like: "surprise! I brought my gf two of my roommated a classmate and my mother with me!" right? At least, where I'm from you wouldn't do that without asking the person you initially had the plans with, so I don't think she did this because she didn't know any better. I didn't make myself clear, I would simply ask her if she wanted to hang out this weekend, we were friends and everyone else who came were mutual friends as well - I didn't have the balls to clarify I wanted 1 on 1 time instead of hanging out as a group which we always did. I didn't have the balls to make myself clear was the point I was making to the OP. | ||
| ||
