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Blogs > Blazinghand
Post a Reply
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25559 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-03-29 11:32:27
March 29 2012 11:09 GMT
#1

We are absent.




[image loading]e are absent. Not hiding, no-- we do not hide. That is not our way. We are not absent due to fear or something harsh; you will find our souls lined only with the barely-retrained fury of a Terran player, enclosed in the might of bio and steel that is our race. You will see us from time to time-- climbing the ladder, in customs, or on the forums, even. You'll even find us in the thread asking where we've gone. Far too many of our adversaries mistake this absence for flight, or retreat. They are mistaken, though. We fly not before our foes-- unless we're pulling back a drop just before your army arrives.

No, we are biding our time.

Waiting to grow stronger.



+ Show Spoiler [GSL 2012 S2 Ro32 D3 Spoilers] +
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]

Conversation Transcript:
blzinghand: I knew theStc was good but I didn't htink he'd take down DRG
Lucien: I'm surprised
Lucien: oGs Stronk
blzinghand: TheStc is like
blzinghand: the quintessential macro terran
blzinghand: like
blzinghand: Sandwhale explained to me how theStc thinks
blzinghand: probably like 6ish moths ago
Lucien: yeah?
blzinghand: his goal in TvP:
blzinghand: "take a 4th base before the protoss"
blzinghand: no timing attacks for this guy
blzinghand: jsut manly manlitude
blzinghand: you know now i kinda hope taeja wins
blzinghand: just because
blzinghand: more terrans in the Ro32 means more terrans in the Ro8
blzinghand: which means more balance whine against terran
blzinghand: and balance whine against terran makes me stronger
Lucien: :|
Lucien: you have issues
blzinghand: lol


[image loading]ou're beginning to understand it now, aren't you? Oh, you always suspected. You always knew, somewhere in the back of your mind, that there was something different about us Terran players. Maybe it was one too many Terran players calling Zergs whiners. Maybe it was one too many jokes from forum about drinking tiny Protoss tears. Maybe it was a sexy, suave, half-written manuscript about a conspiracy of Code S Terrans devouring the souls of their opponents. Somehow, you always knew. But you could never admit it to yourself. You'd still let yourself rage, bm, and abuse Terran player son the ladder. It felt so good. So right.

And now that the truth has dawned upon you? Oh, the horror, the horror! It's all so clear, like shattered windowpanes cutting you in an earthquake of revelation. Stacks of bibles burn around you, singeing your soul and pressing an unwilling demonic smile onto your forlorn features. Ashes fall gently around you, each curl of blackness hitting the ground and echoing a hollow monolithic "thud" as your faith falls away. All has been laid bare before you. The reckoning is nigh, and only now do you finally realize it:

Terrans feed off the tears and complaints of their opponents. That's right-- we are empowered by balance whine. Every player who calls terran OP, BMs the "easy mode race" on the ladder, whines on the blizzard forums, or writes a poorly-formatted help thread in the strategy section, from bronze to master, fuels us. Your delicious alien tears empower us and warm our souls. Whenever I'm in a micro-intensive situation, I can feel my hands move faster as more people complain about Terran.

Our unholy Sc2 skills are honed in the forges of balance whine threads. You have no idea what it feels like to have the power at your command. It is like your first cigarette in the morning, or your first cup of coffee. You can feel it course through your veins, bringing you out of the darkness and into the light. It's exhilarating. It is a fundamentally Terran experience-- a taste of the Divine in this mundane world. It is a taste of God.




[image loading]ut as of recent, something has gone horribly wrong..

My powers dissipated. Like a sugar crash, or that sudden realization that your'e so drunk you're going to hurl, it weighs me down. Where is my unholy power? Where is my infernal strength?

I go outside and try to lift a mighty boulder over my head, and find myself unable to do it. I try to stay up for several days straight cackling cruelly and flexing my demonic muscles, and find they are no longer there. Somehow, people have stopped whining about Terran more than the other races. As a result, I, and all other Terrans, no longer have supernatural powers.

"Where have all the Terrans gone?" you ask... we're all still here. Biding our time. Waiting. Hibernating. In time, the balance whine against us will begin anew, and then all manner of unholy hell shall rain down upon your sorry laddering experience.

The earth shall be torn asunder and the mighty Terra-citadel shall be wrenched from the ground and populated with our lieutenants.

All shall cry, and all shall quake in fear and awe at the might that is the Terran imba.

You just wait.





[image loading]


***
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
theshrabster
Profile Joined November 2010
United States19 Posts
March 29 2012 11:13 GMT
#2
I stand by my statement :|
issues
Lucien, Protoss, Masters
[N3O]r3d33m3r
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Germany673 Posts
March 29 2012 11:27 GMT
#3
StC <3333333333
when did he take down DRG?
Masq
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1792 Posts
March 29 2012 11:35 GMT
#4
why did you google how to take a screenshot!
WE MUST KNOW
Joeeigel
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United Kingdom328 Posts
March 29 2012 11:38 GMT
#5
On March 29 2012 20:27 [N3O]r3d33m3r wrote:
StC <3333333333
when did he take down DRG?


+ Show Spoiler +
In GSL yoday
Head admin of the CSL:EU and League Manager for Karnage-eSports - Joeeigel.561
ohsea.toc
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Australia344 Posts
March 29 2012 12:22 GMT
#6
4.79797/5 if only for the graphics. That and your prosodic bias. Subterraneans will rise again!
Clip, clop, Camelot.
Sergio1992
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
Italy522 Posts
March 29 2012 12:30 GMT
#7
None shall stand in our path to victory, brothers!
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
March 29 2012 12:43 GMT
#8
For great justice!
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
Cortza
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
South Africa328 Posts
March 29 2012 15:06 GMT
#9
You shall have my concussive shells.
Cycle
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States300 Posts
March 29 2012 18:25 GMT
#10
It's for this reason - the lack of my "Terran OP" warcry - that I must now switch to protoss.
| chKCycle.551 | NA | Master League Random | Checkmate Gaming |
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
March 29 2012 19:14 GMT
#11
This was one of the most ridiculous posts i've seen in a long time, well done haha, though drinking protoss tears is something i've never wept against you terrans
User was warned for too many mimes.
Zombo Joe
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada850 Posts
March 29 2012 21:24 GMT
#12
On March 30 2012 00:06 Cortza wrote:
You shall have my concussive shells.


And my Tanks.
I am Terranfying.
Teoita
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Italy12246 Posts
March 29 2012 21:34 GMT
#13
Lol awesome post :D
ModeratorProtoss all-ins are like a wok. You can throw whatever you want in there and it will turn out alright.
Aletheia27
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States267 Posts
March 29 2012 22:43 GMT
#14
You got issues
I am that I am
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