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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
The perfect friend... If such a person existed, what would he be like? Perhaps he would be interesting, entertaining, and compassionate. He may also be magnanimous and flattering. Being really, really, ridiculously good looking couldn't hurt either. There'd never be a dull, difficult, or strained moment with this perfect friend. By all accounts, this sounds like a really great guy. But would this guy really be "the perfect friend"? I think this friend sucks. One of the traits of a truly great friend is that he isn't afraid of pointing out your flaws and mistakes, even if that means jeopardizing the relationship. This friend could only be "the perfect friend" if you yourself are a perfect person as well. Unless your name is either Jesus Christ or Justin Bieber, you aren't "perfect". If you only had people like this around you, you'll likely never fix the flaws that you undoubtedly have, since ecause these "perfect friends" would accept and mask any flaws you may have. You wouldn't even notice the flaws you could do well to fix. If there is such a thing as a perfect friend, he would be someone who will at times criticize, condemn, or even berate you. But through these acts, he would always be looking out for your best interests. You will likely be ticked off by his behavior, and you have every right to be. However, if you're half a decent person yourself, then you'll realize his good intentions sooner or later. The friends that you should truly cherish, value, and appreciate aren't the ones who are always pleasant to you. No, it is the ones who kick you in the ass from time to time who you want to keep around. When they kick you in the ass, it obviously doesn't feel too good. But they're trying to kick you out of the proverbial train tracks before you get run over by the train. Keep these ass kickers around and show them your appreciation. If you don't express your gratitude for them, or at least show that their martial arts moves are moving you in the right direction, these guys will eventually stop doing you the favor of kicking your ass. Worse yet, they may start to distance themselves from you and start kicking someone else's ass across the street. The best medicine tastes bitter. At times, so do your best friends.
Crossposted from my main blog
 
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Having just discovered that your last name is Murakami, i can only assume that the writing of the great Haruki Murakami is but a simulacrum of your inspired work. I say this mainly because I can relate personally to your post: there are certainly times when i need someone to give me a good proverbial arse kicking, if only to bring me down to the not so proverbial earth.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
I've actually only read about 70 pages of Haruki Murakami in my life. I am familiar with his style of writing, but I've certainly never tried to mimic it consciously (though I've had many people comment the degree of resemblance before, particularly in my Japanese writing).
Perhaps it has to do with the fact that we both have Japanese and English influences in our writing, and we tend to employ a relatively simplistic syntactical style (or at the least, brevity is what I work the hardest on).
there are certainly times when i need someone to give me a good proverbial arse kicking, if only to bring me down to the not so proverbial earth.
Man, that's an awesome sentence 
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Glad to know someone appreciates me ^^
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In fact I've only read about 140 pages of the man myself, currently making my way through Kafka on the Shore which I'm thoroughly enjoying.
You mention the importance of brevity, and this is something that I need to pay more attention to in my work; it seems that you have a good handle on it. With brevity too comes levity, something any good blogger should aspire to.
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I would say that a friend is someone who not only points out your flaws but someone you actually tolerate doing it. There are certainly people out there who criticize you but do you take everyone's advice into account? Certainly you ignore he haters (whoever that may be) but your friends' advice you take to heart.
Also, on the topic of Murakami, I once saw a review of "South of the Border, West of the Sun" and was considering reading it but never got around to it. Is it any good? Which of his works, if any, would you recommend?
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It really depends on how close you are to the person. I really wouldn't appreciate someone whose company I enjoy, but haven't known for very long, calling me out on things too severely. On the other hand, my closest and oldest friend and I get into fights of one kind or another quite often.
It also depends on the individual. You have to be able to take criticism, and you have to have a more malleable and realistic pride. It takes a level of humility to be able to maintain a relationship with someone when you get to that point. I know of people who just can't handle that.
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Truths between friends seems to be a taboo these days (actually truths between people in general but thats another issue). As a friend you always have to be supportive and say that your friend is doing the right thing. However thats not the way it should be.
I'm a very self aware person. I think about stuff I have done for a great time after the event. Was it stupid or was I right to do so? My best friends are people i can ask about stuff like this and tell me the truth - or they say it themself. I love getting the truth from people. Also from persons I don't know.
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Nice writeup, this tends to happen as you become more and more friendlier with them. And hell, I welcome such behaviour, its fun unless your still in elementary school
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Ive always believed that friendship is a reflection of who we are
So your friends are either mirrors of you, or the complete opposite.
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I love the minimalist approach you have on your blog site. I wanted to start blogging, but didn't know what I wanted it to look like. Now I do. <3
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I am the perfect friend! Compassion invovles pointing out mistakes tho, imo. But you can do it in a nice way, and if someone is your friend it will still seem severe, because they'll know you aren't critical unless it's important.
I think a person who always berates you both devalues their advice (since they think something is wrong all the time) and becomes impossible to be around. Sometimes a friend is just someone who will listen to you even when you're being selfish.
Interesting blog either way.
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I've tried to be that friend before... unfortunately most people just saw it as me being a dick
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Laughed at that Zoolander plug 
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Meh, i live with a mate (for 2 years now) i've seen literally everyday since 4th grade (now i'm 23), go figure.
We smoke weed, do other sorts of drugs etc.., play dota n shit. Most importantly i know he's got my back 24/7 n i got his. It can get a little annoying when you find each other's bad habits, and we're pretty cool about it.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
On February 07 2012 19:47 surfinbird1 wrote:
I would say that a friend is someone who not only points out your flaws but someone you actually tolerate doing it. There are certainly people out there who criticize you but do you take everyone's advice into account? Certainly you ignore he haters (whoever that may be) but your friends' advice you take to heart.
Ah, very good point.
Also, on the topic of Murakami, I once saw a review of "South of the Border, West of the Sun" and was considering reading it but never got around to it. Is it any good? Which of his works, if any, would you recommend?
This one friend of mine whose literary perspective I immensely respects, counts "South of the Border, West of the Sun" as his favorite novel, period. I got a hold of a Japanese copy and have been meaning to read it for the past month. Maybe I'll get around to it this weekend!
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
On February 07 2012 22:08 Fishgle wrote:
I love the minimalist approach you have on your blog site. I wanted to start blogging, but didn't know what I wanted it to look like. Now I do. <3
Thanks for the compliment
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EPT
