|
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/XHr5k.jpg)
I resolve to be more awesome, like the guy to my right.
Being honest
So, counselor I was going to for anxiety suggested I write out my insecurities and obviously poor thinking. I’ve been sort of harboring them for a long time, and talking to people I’ve definitely been using anxiety/the actions of others who make me feel insecure to give me excuses to not do things. So I shall hopefully become more open by listing my insecurities, and little lies I have told myself.
The first is that I don’t go out with friends because my parents were so restrictive. While it certainly limited what I could do previously, at this point nothing they are doing is limiting me. Although people still feel uncomfortable with my mom, I can go out and have enough independence this isn’t a problem. People aren’t in a habit of doing things with me, but all I need to do is take some initiative, and I’m sure this shouldn’t be a problem.
The second is that I just have no idea how to shop and fashion is irrelevant. Although I don’t think appearances matter too much, I’ve been marginalizing them, but then feeling really uncomfortable and sensitive about it. I am compensating for my sensitivity by marginalizing it.
The third is that I should be an engineer or something along those lines. I’ve been sort of stressing it for so long, and pushing that they are the only appropriate career paths that at this point I’m unsure of what I want to do.
The fourth is that I’m not as good at math as my other compatriots. It’s not that I’m bad, I just have gotten bad at it because I didn’t put in the time. And now I hate it because I’m behind and really confused.
I am sensitive talking about myself. I tend to almost stutter and get caught up, but am fine talking with others.
I get very interested in things that interest me. My parents have been saying it a long time, and I’ve denied it, but overall it’s true.
I feel pressure from my parents to do certain things. Cool. And even though there may be friction if I want to do other things I need to just push to do them. Not excessively, but forcefully.
A lot of this has left doubt in myself. A lot of what I’ve been doing has been based upon what I perceived I should do, and not what I want to do. Is majoring in IR and enjoying work a good thing? But then is it reasonable to get a job in the field? I would work very well and be interested , but blargh.
A lot of what I’ve been doing has based upon what I believe will happen if I do it, and not what actually would happen. I need to just do what I want to do after weighing real consequences, not figments of imagination.
At this point I’m really indecisive about career path when thinking rationally. Thinking irrationally I should be an engineer because there is job security and there is capable. And thinking idealistically I should do what I most enjoy.
I need to take charge of what is going on, and overcome obstacles placed at me, not blame them for my failure.
And I'm not a failure. NO matter how bad my failures may seem to me, I need to keep this in mind. All else fails I go to korea to teach roflz
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Mc2fN.png)
 
|
Good self-reflection. Thought there might be more to it than your mom simply being a terrible dungeon troll. You're on the right track with this mindset, man. Best of luck in 2012!
*Edit* and hey, fuck you, that last sentence is what I'm considering right now lol. You got it right, though XD
|
Dunno. Teaching abroad wouldn't be a bad thing to do for a year. I don't get lifers though lol.
I think the biggest realization I mde was that my mom may be draconian at times (often) but she's most often draconian about things which don't impact me. She's just being draconian to exert some sort of control.
|
Canada5565 Posts
|
Will do! Looks darn interesting.
+ Show Spoiler +Sorry about trollface, it's what JP posted but I shoulda seen what it would be interpreted as/the moral hazard of posting actual image. =/
|
How much money do you need to enjoy yourself? Do you need six figures to enjoy your life and have any kind of self-esteem? You don't seem like a materialistic person perhaps you have a need for achievement or to prove your intelligence/work ethic
You're good to be honest with yourself. Don't let yourself become comfortable in your ways always question why you are what you are and why you do what you do and be real about it even if it's uncomfortable, it's the only way to make any kind of personal progress.
|
In terms of the money thing it's hard to say. I'm one of hte poorest people in my area (our income family of 4 is 80k, house is 350k) but most friends have at least 150k income. I mean, I wouldn't need a shitton of money, but I certainly want enough to live... comfortably on.
|
On January 01 2012 17:45 Froadac wrote:
In terms of the money thing it's hard to say. I'm one of hte poorest people in my area (our income family of 4 is 80k, house is 350k) but most friends have at least 150k income. I mean, I wouldn't need a shitton of money, but I certainly want enough to live... comfortably on.
I'm in a family of 4 with about 46k annual income and I think I live pretty comfortably. A lot of my extended family are well above the 500k income range and I've never felt envious before, except perhaps as a young child but I've grown up to see it as petty.
Comfortably means different things for different people. I think I could live pretty comfortably on around 25k I'd imagine, probably even less living on my own. Figuring out what's important for you and what you need to be happy is part of growing up. But don't let other peoples definitions of success or comfort define how you live your life, that's the only real advice I could give you.
|
On January 01 2012 17:50 DoctorHelvetica wrote:Show nested quote +On January 01 2012 17:45 Froadac wrote:
In terms of the money thing it's hard to say. I'm one of hte poorest people in my area (our income family of 4 is 80k, house is 350k) but most friends have at least 150k income. I mean, I wouldn't need a shitton of money, but I certainly want enough to live... comfortably on. I'm in a family of 4 with about 46k annual income and I think I live pretty comfortably. A lot of my extended family are well above the 500k income range and I've never felt envious before, except perhaps as a young child but I've grown up to see it as petty. Comfortably means different things for different people. I think I could live pretty comfortably on around 25k I'd imagine, probably even less living on my own. Figuring out what's important for you and what you need to be happy is part of growing up. But don't let other peoples definitions of success or comfort define how you live your life, that's the only real advice I could give you.
Yeah. Really awkward bit is my parents say we live modestly on 80k. And we're a family of 4 with a lot of medical expenses. Basically I have no clue how much I'd need to live comfortably...
|
On January 01 2012 17:50 DoctorHelvetica wrote:Show nested quote +On January 01 2012 17:45 Froadac wrote:
In terms of the money thing it's hard to say. I'm one of hte poorest people in my area (our income family of 4 is 80k, house is 350k) but most friends have at least 150k income. I mean, I wouldn't need a shitton of money, but I certainly want enough to live... comfortably on. I'm in a family of 4 with about 46k annual income and I think I live pretty comfortably. A lot of my extended family are well above the 500k income range and I've never felt envious before, except perhaps as a young child but I've grown up to see it as petty. Comfortably means different things for different people. I think I could live pretty comfortably on around 25k I'd imagine, probably even less living on my own. Figuring out what's important for you and what you need to be happy is part of growing up. But don't let other peoples definitions of success or comfort define how you live your life, that's the only real advice I could give you.
Lol how is affluence 'petty,' that's such a small minded thing to say imo. Of course having wealth doesn't connote the immediate need to spend it, but how in the world does that make it petty, there are a million reasons to have a lot of money. Just because you yourself seemingly don't think there is a need doesn't mean that there isn't, get off your high horse.
OP, make as much money as you can as long as you enjoy life. That's the trick, if you enjoy life then money will fall into place. Don't low ball it because rich people are 'petty,' shoot high so that you can actually be an adequate provider for you future family.
|
Well, above about 300k I think things get sorta petty lol.
I think the big thing for me is going into a profession in which I am sure I can make an amount that I would be satisfied with, and then doing my best to improve from there.
|
On January 01 2012 18:01 Endymion wrote:Show nested quote +On January 01 2012 17:50 DoctorHelvetica wrote:On January 01 2012 17:45 Froadac wrote:
In terms of the money thing it's hard to say. I'm one of hte poorest people in my area (our income family of 4 is 80k, house is 350k) but most friends have at least 150k income. I mean, I wouldn't need a shitton of money, but I certainly want enough to live... comfortably on. I'm in a family of 4 with about 46k annual income and I think I live pretty comfortably. A lot of my extended family are well above the 500k income range and I've never felt envious before, except perhaps as a young child but I've grown up to see it as petty. Comfortably means different things for different people. I think I could live pretty comfortably on around 25k I'd imagine, probably even less living on my own. Figuring out what's important for you and what you need to be happy is part of growing up. But don't let other peoples definitions of success or comfort define how you live your life, that's the only real advice I could give you. Lol how is affluence 'petty,' that's such a small minded thing to say imo. Of course having wealth doesn't connote the immediate need to spend it, but how in the world does that make it petty, there are a million reasons to have a lot of money. Just because you yourself seemingly don't think there is a need doesn't mean that there isn't, get off your high horse. OP, make as much money as you can as long as you enjoy life. That's the trick, if you enjoy life then money will fall into place. Don't low ball it because rich people are 'petty,' shoot high so that you can actually be an adequate provider for you future family.
You misunderstood what I was saying. I didn't call affluence petty, I have a lot of respect for most of my relatives. I meant my jealousy as a child was petty and amounted to little more than not getting the same Christmas gifts as my sister. You totally misread me.
There's nothing wrong with making a lot of money but it's up to an individual to determine how much meaning that has in their life not someone else, that's all I'm saying.
|
Fair enough. Being jealous of other things is often petty. Sometimes punitive.
Right now trying to figure out whether or not to get hair cut, where, and in what style. That is petty, and I am clueless XD
|
OP, how old are you out of curiosity? It seems like you're still in college. If you're just starting college you should definitely study what you want to study and have a passion for. I know way too many people that studied to become doctors/engineers because that's what their parents told them to do and they're all miserable or have brainwashed themselves into thinking that's the only way to live comfortably.
I was lucky enough to love math/econ and landed in finance which is good money, but I have a few friends that loved polisci (1 friend majored in PPE and did a concentration in IR at uPenn) and ended up at good gigs at think tanks/consulting firms/aides at congress/etc. At this point I feel like I'm blabbering; my point is do what you love and if you work hard and are proactive about your career money will follow.
|
Haha... upenn. I applied to good schools but my grades have sucked because i quite frankly never tried that hard if I wasn't interested. I mean, I"ll get into a top 50 school, but nothing amazing.
Haha, in terms of finance it's actually an interesting field, in theory. If I can get my math shits together it's actually something I'd enjoy. If I like math. Which has become exceedingly unclear right now.
I have a shitton of interests, IR is my most acute, but econ is quite interesting. But we haven't got into the heavy math components. And heck, CS is interesting too. But it's not what I"m passionate about perse.
I just applied to schools btw. (17 years)
|
Speaking of which, I ought to blog about my thoughts about US foreign policy, would probably spark some reasonable debate.
|
On January 01 2012 17:04 Froadac wrote:
Dunno. Teaching abroad wouldn't be a bad thing to do for a year. I don't get lifers though lol.
A friend of mine went to Japan to teach for a year back in 2005-2006, and he's still there. He didn't really have a marketable degree upon graduation (English/Literature or something), and years of teaching English to Japanese kids hasn't improved his resume either. He can't easily interview for jobs back in Canada so he's pretty much stuck. I have a bunch of other friends who've been teaching in Asia for a few years too, and I have a feeling they're also going to get stuck. Maybe there are some people that do it because they love teaching or whichever country they're in, but I think a lot of those lifers just don't have options.
|
On January 01 2012 18:30 Froadac wrote:
Speaking of which, I ought to blog about my thoughts about US foreign policy, would probably spark some reasonable debate.
oe noe u di' -int!
|
On January 01 2012 18:31 ShadowDrgn wrote:Show nested quote +On January 01 2012 17:04 Froadac wrote:
Dunno. Teaching abroad wouldn't be a bad thing to do for a year. I don't get lifers though lol. A friend of mine went to Japan to teach for a year back in 2005-2006, and he's still there. He didn't really have a marketable degree upon graduation (English/Literature or something), and years of teaching English to Japanese kids hasn't improved his resume either. He can't easily interview for jobs back in Canada so he's pretty much stuck. I have a bunch of other friends who've been teaching in Asia for a few years too, and I have a feeling they're also going to get stuck. Maybe there are some people that do it because they love teaching or whichever country they're in, but I think a lot of those lifers just don't have options.
This is certainly an interesting phenomenon. In one sense, you aren't really getting valid work experience. In another sense, you can't really advance there except for go to a uni. So then you'd have to get a degree at SNU or somewhere, to teach English at uni =/ . Apart from getting married and starting a business or something you're pretty much stuck in the same job, and same country.
That being said, I'm sure if someone really wanted to get out, they could work their way to a different job in their home company, but for a while they would probably be waaay at the bottom of the ladder, and would have to work their asses off...
I do know my cousin (pictured) talked about how when he went to china as a VP for a major multinational, he met quite a few foreigners who were, as your friend is, just flat out stuck.
|
Roe? It might get nasty, but most things do XD
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
