EPTYou know how Terran marines have these big baller space suits that protect them from things like Zerglings and Hydralisks? Well I'm a lot like that too, except I don't have a space suit or fight for my life against Zerglings and Hydralisks. I have a winter coat and in the winter it kinda sorta protects me from the cold (in the same way that marines are only kinda sorta protected from claws). The other difference is that underneath the coat I'm not some steroid injected criminal with giant biceps. I'm just really skinny and sometimes the wind will almost blow me away. But the winter coat hides that. So do sweaters. I'm like a kite except that I don't have a line or fly in the sky.
Sometimes I find writing something silly about StarCraft for TL really cathartic when I feel bad. I feel pretty bad now. A lot of the time, honestly, but particularly lately. But if I think of it in terms of StarCraft, I can make my mountains into bush doodads. It helps to think of things objectively and to distance myself from the issue by using a weird metaphor.
Imagine Proberto, Great Cursor rest his soul, didn't die after all from promoting the Protoss arts to the Terran savages. Imagine instead he'd escaped it, but returned home mentally scarred and distraught. He had trouble mining minerals. That wasn't really his calling in life, after all. His calling was to build great things. Yet for some reason the other probes didn't like that.
So the other probes began not to really want him around. Oh, sure, he'd mine minerals like the rest of them, but he'd always go off and build a pylon somewhere and what was the use in that when there were still more minerals to mine. Why has he always got to go off? Why does he go on long hovers around the base when he should be working? What a lazy probe. There's no value in pylons. They don't do anything for society. In society what really matters is minerals. And gas. Minerals and gas. Those two things. Those are what matter.
And they tell him so. That he isn't wanted and that they should have never let him go on that journey and what's with his strange stories about an Urasadon and to hell with all his values, he needs to go to a Dark Archon and get fixed. Some mind control his all he needs, then he'll mine minerals just fine and be normal just like the rest of us. Then he'll stop being weird and thinking about the things he saw out there and finally have some peace. It's good for him. And he can go to some other expansion too. As soon as possible.
Do you know how Zerglings sometimes burrow so that they can surprise attack enemy units? I'm kind of like that, except I don't want to unburrow.
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Don't feel better... metaphor obviously not good enough.
