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On October 26 2011 07:04 Slow Motion wrote:Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 06:59 Chef wrote:This is a very superficial method. It's good that you're going to start taking care of yourself and trying things, but I also sense a lot of pitfalls with your mindset. You are really trying to fulfill a certain ideal and I think that's unhealthy. Just in the tone of your post, this ingenuous, overly-decisive machismo... It lacks the internal motivation necessary for lasting and fulfilling change. IM GONNA GO TO PARTY AND BE A COOL GUY AND ASK THAT GIRL OUT BLERP BLERP. Wow is your life a b-movie comedy? Good that you've decided to stop being a worthless slob, but be wary of the short-term value external motivators give. Maybe along the way with this shamelessly idealistic persona you will discover some lasting internal motivators and move healthily into the next stage of your life. Maybe you were a little drunk while writing this, or maybe you are naive to the disappointment that comes from adopting a prescribed personality. Maybe you're actually this shallow and it really makes sense to you. gl gl whatever it is. Don't go back to being worthless if things don't go exactly as you hope, just try more things and learn a little about life. PSPS: Brood War isn't a waste of time  Don't knock it just because you are trying to do something new. Hobbies make people interesting. Well I think the OP's point is not about trying to be popular or cool, but that it helps if you break your isolation. What the OP listed were just some examples that helped him. In times of depression you naturally seek safety and isolation, and that could cause a downward spiral that makes things worse. However, there is a pitfall here. People who are truly medically depressed will not benefit from some guy just telling them to start having fun. The whole problem is that they physically cannot experience much pleasure or happiness at all. Those people should consult psychiatrists as getting outside and doing social activities simply will not help without the help of anti-depressants.
while i partially agree with that, i partially disagree in that people can go work out and go have fun or try to have fun. if you truly are medically depressed, then none of those will work. but if you don't try it, then you'll never know. you'll be surprised how much stress exercise (or sex for that matter) can relieve.
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Good for you OP, great blog..
Was mad over onling gaming, practically gaming whole day long before going to school and sleep, hardly talking to friends and gradually stopped hanging out with them. Friends started hanging out with their 'new group of friends'.. So after my holidays, when i snapped out of gaming, i fell behind in studies, during breaks i have got no one to talk to and eat with, my friends wanted me to join them, but it felt awkward to me and so i am the one who stayed behind by mself everyday rotting for an hour.. Eventually i failed and was retained..
Now for the new school term, my whole class was a year younger and i knew no one, wasnt interested in making friends too. Lost interest in school and dropped out of school. So for the past 10 months or so, im basically on my computer 15 hours a day. Only going out once a week. I was invited to join them for activities, but i will feel awkward and stopped joining them..
I recently found a job, but its as boring and horrible as what im doing now. Work and tire myself out, and sleep when im home. Which is totally pointless. Even if i see my friends by chances on the streets, we have got nothing to say, i lost touch of the world. Sometimes i would even try to take a longer route just to avoid them to spare the awkwardness.. We used to meet everyday and hangout all the time. Gosh ._.
Sometimes i pity myself being in this state, I hardly communicate with my friends. I used to be so cheerful and easy-going, everyone will crowd around me and my friends. I was a trouble-maker in the past, but now i wouldnt even dare to attract anyone's attention. Now i wake up to my laptop, eat, bathe, and then sleep again. I wake up thinking playing on the computer is fun, but truth is, it is boring. But theres nothing i can do now.. My life revolves around my laptop..
Sad miserable life...
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On October 26 2011 07:24 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 07:04 Slow Motion wrote:On October 26 2011 06:59 Chef wrote:This is a very superficial method. It's good that you're going to start taking care of yourself and trying things, but I also sense a lot of pitfalls with your mindset. You are really trying to fulfill a certain ideal and I think that's unhealthy. Just in the tone of your post, this ingenuous, overly-decisive machismo... It lacks the internal motivation necessary for lasting and fulfilling change. IM GONNA GO TO PARTY AND BE A COOL GUY AND ASK THAT GIRL OUT BLERP BLERP. Wow is your life a b-movie comedy? Good that you've decided to stop being a worthless slob, but be wary of the short-term value external motivators give. Maybe along the way with this shamelessly idealistic persona you will discover some lasting internal motivators and move healthily into the next stage of your life. Maybe you were a little drunk while writing this, or maybe you are naive to the disappointment that comes from adopting a prescribed personality. Maybe you're actually this shallow and it really makes sense to you. gl gl whatever it is. Don't go back to being worthless if things don't go exactly as you hope, just try more things and learn a little about life. PSPS: Brood War isn't a waste of time Don't knock it just because you are trying to do something new. Hobbies make people interesting. Well I think the OP's point is not about trying to be popular or cool, but that it helps if you break your isolation. What the OP listed were just some examples that helped him. In times of depression you naturally seek safety and isolation, and that could cause a downward spiral that makes things worse. However, there is a pitfall here. People who are truly medically depressed will not benefit from some guy just telling them to start having fun. The whole problem is that they physically cannot experience much pleasure or happiness at all. Those people should consult psychiatrists as getting outside and doing social activities simply will not help without the help of anti-depressants. I think depression as a scientific subject is largely unsolved. However what I sense in the OP is that he just replacing one method of hiding with another. 'No one will judge me if I hide in my dark room and go on the internet anonymously' -> 'No one can judge me because it's not really me, it's a personality I'm embodying' The fear of being judged, of being discovered for who you are and if you'll be rejected or accepted is never resolved. To me it is avoiding a large issue that people who isolate themselves deal with (unnecessarily). Be a little braver and don't put on a big show. To an extent we all have to play little acts throughout life, but the less you have to act the more satisfied you will be. Otherwise you get these weird people who ten years later suddenly admit 'no, I wasn't really like that. the REAL me I kept hidden from everyone' ok super dramaman. I dislike those people... So I ask why is going to dinner and seeing your friend so much more valuable than other hobbies? See your friends, maintain your connections, be real, good, but there is satisfaction from other things in life that you shouldn't reject. If you just go out with friends because this is what society deems you should be doing, then you are still going to end up depressed and unfulfilled. This is what I mean... It's an avoidance of problems even if it is socially acceptable/encouraged. It makes no sense to value drinking in a bar more than playing games. Pills could make you happy, but to people who have to make decisions about whether or not they take drugs to improve their mood, that's not always a satisfying solution. Actually it seems like just another diversion from the real problems.
What do you mean hiding? You can be both, isolated geek and party animal, they're not exactly mutually exclusive. I've spent all of HS partying, going out drinking and playing computer games and reading books. Maybe they're all masks, but they sure as hell are ME, I feel good doing any of the above and I'm not hiding or trying to trick anyone, it's just me at the time, be it metal head at a weird party, hip hop fan at another group gathering. Reading, playing, drinking, dancing, laughing, talking, listening, they're all fun activities and doing one doesn't mean I'm not myself doing the others.
Sometimes you just feel like changing something radical. I've had times where I haven't gone out for weeks because I found some new author and I just kept reading, sleeping at school. I've had times where I've gone out every day for months, not touching PC or TV, just beer and more beer.
If that's not normal, meh, who cares.
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I spent a good part of the last 3 years living in my room in darkness feeling incredibly depressed. moving away from that feeling but its so easy to slip back in :|.
More power to you man! beat that shit
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its true that a very depressed/anxious person wouldnt usually be able to just wake up and "jump out of it" one day. or if they did, then they would "fall back" and lose their progress after a phase and end up back where they were.
it is true that you can say a depressed person is "unable" to feel positive emotions, but not in a literal physiological sense. its not a case of "i injected him with heroin but he couldnt feel it" , but instead a case of "where i see a sunny day and blue sky , he sees a parching sun and irritating mosquitoes". a depressed person can understand and want to feel psychologically healthy and positive, just like an anxious person understands and wants to stop fiddling and make eye contact and not stammer.
this is why its important to get the depressed person into situations that are uncontrollably emotionally stimulating. watching bland TV shows wont help, but getting him to come out listen to some passionate public speakers might.
the big problem is getting that depressed person out of the door in the first place, IMO. depression and anxiety will keep a person indoors and unwilling just like being extremely fatigued or sick with the flu will. you dont wanna be seen by anyone, you feel like an empty waste of space and people will only dislike you if they meet you in this state! (who can blame them?). skin problems make things worse.
i made a thread on this subject myself just now , here:
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=279491
check it out if you think you might be able to benefit from it, or have been in a sticky situation in the past and might be able to add to what i wrote
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Good idea OP, I just opened the blinds for like the first time ever in this room and it feels a whole lot different!
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I actually went the opposite way, i stopped going out, as much at least. Too long spent going to clubs drinking/doing drugs was more of a negative effect than staying in on the computer. Although i wasn't really depressed at any point. I think everyone is different though and what you consider to be happiness in life isn't going to match everyone else.
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Canada9720 Posts
good post bro. to a lot of people, the barrier to being social and active seems larger than it really is. but it's easy to get out and try new activities or sports and meet the people who love them, and it's often really rewarding
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On October 27 2011 01:04 CTStalker wrote:
good post bro. to a lot of people, the barrier to being social and active seems larger than it really is. but it's easy to get out and try new activities or sports and meet the people who love them, and it's often really rewarding
I sure think it is. I'm finding that maybe taking the world for as is, and not just living through the SC-life of constnatly thinking of new builds, but rather of new people, is really nice. I'm not saying gaming is bad, infact I love sc2 a lot. however I do like to change things up a bit, I just today have started listening to differnt bands, one in particular is popular, that i never gave a try and i kind of like- Death Cab for Cutie.
anyways im glad to see positive feedback on the post. It makes me want to set-up a project with before and after pictures, i'm already looking for my camera, and I might make my own little thing for the sake of having something to do.
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