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So over the past few weeks I've been feeling a bit down but than I stood up, and I said "Fuck am I doing...?" I took one good look around at myself, my room was a mess, every blind was closed, it was constantly dark, I set my computer to a darker background, and I've barely spoken to any friends other than my gaming buddies on skype.
Basically I had a moment of epiphany "Fuck, who WANTS to live like this?" I said, so I started cleaning up my room, I sold a few things I no longer needed and I cleansed all areas of my physical life of things that I don't need.
My next step was calling up a few buddies and organizing some events. My best friend who I've adored for years, I'm taking her out for a dinner, I don't give a fuck if she has a boyfriend (who is a total fuck up... I wish "Paige" would see that, but that's a different story), I'm going to hang out with my best friend.
So back to calling and organizing. I've called up a few friends who I'm pretty close with and we used to kick back and make jokes, and tell stories of how we all made something in our life worth it. So I've arranged for us a winter camping trip, who camps in the snow? no one. I don't need nice weather to enjoy company, and quite a few of the people coming along and single women, so they might just have to huddle closer in the tent to me. We also are bringing a long some booze cause hey... it's not a party until you get the light-weight of your friends drunk off just 2-shots of tequila.
So my question (cause I'm sure most of you are having some-what of a hard time) What are you going to do about it? I went from "fuck it, I hate life" to "Fuck it, what am I doing sitting here?"
some of you, i'm aware may not have that ambition but why not get off the TL forums for a day and see what you can accomplish. I had a summer fling with a girl cause my net was out and I decided to go for a walk downtown and I wanted to get some coffee.
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I'm entirely sure what this thread means exactly, but I'm glad your out of your bad mindset. Having a clean room and feeling better about your life probably increases your ability to play star craft 2. After all some of the most successful star craft 2 players have a posative mindset on sc2. Probably why those koreans are so good, nothing seems to bother them
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I had a depression that lasted about a year that ended a few months ago. It had to do with times changing, and you know how your old close friends kind of move on, and the things you used to do either aren't fun anymore or no one wants to do them. Finally, a year later, I got a summer job and wow that changed everything. It was almost as if right when I got the job my life changed. Now I'm pretty happy with myself. The whole situation really reminded me of the recent southpark where Stan becomes depressed because things are changing, but in the end he learns to accept the changes and move on and he's happy (of course until everything changes back to how it was, but that was more of a joke).
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Props to you, sir. I was admitedly at a similar phase for awhile. No denying some sunshine can make things all the better for awhile.
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On October 26 2011 06:19 Cress wrote:
I'm entirely sure what this thread means exactly, but I'm glad your out of your bad mindset. Having a clean room and feeling better about your life probably increases your ability to play star craft 2. After all some of the most successful star craft 2 players have a posative mindset on sc2. Probably why those koreans are so good, nothing seems to bother them
who needs sc2? or the controller you play it on? I got dinner plans and a booze trip in the next few weeks, way more fun than scoring ladder points.
but yeah, i thought that maybe someone who feels somber might come across the post and be like "fuck yeah! I dont need a computer either."
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welcome to my life. spent 4 years inside my bedroom, only went outside a handful of times. playing broodwar, world of warcraft, counterstrike all day. thought i was never going to change. now i'm 20 years old, have a girlfriend of one year, plenty of good friends, work enough to pay rent/bills! i just need to get started on school, but that's another hurdle entirely.
just wanted to say, it doesn't take much to go from depressed, misanthrope to happy, sociable lovable guy!
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One of the symptoms of people who suffer from depression however is the unwillingness and lack of interest in those activities you previously enjoyed. The best thing you can do when suffering from prolonged depression is to speak with a counselor (if you are in college there are likely professionals who can give you therapy for free on campus). It's really hard for people with serious depression to be able to pull themselves out of it given the effect of depression on motivation, energy, etc.
But I agree doing those things are helpful. I just think it's difficult for depressed people to simply just do it if they are already in a certain state. Sometimes help from therapy or just support from another person is what really can get you up and going and doing fun activities again.
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I love life.
I wouldn't change it for anything. I have great friends and do decently in school.
I come home and play Starcraft or I go out. I do whatever the fuck I feel like. I believe it's important to not get too worried about things because at the end of the day, everything will sort itself out.
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United States11637 Posts
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Yeah, I think that I might be leaning towards the stage of total collapse. Nothing seems to matter anymore, but hey-just keep going.
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On October 26 2011 06:25 pStar wrote:
I love life.
I wouldn't change it for anything. I have great friends and do decently in school.
I come home and play Starcraft or I go out. I do whatever the fuck I feel like. I believe it's important to not get too worried about things because at the end of the day, everything will sort itself out.
Also what you said about girls, but I'm dead sexy. OP ask your friend out.
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On October 26 2011 06:25 boesthius wrote:
This is a great blog, I think I'll write something similar to this soon. Snapping out of that mindset can be hard, but once you do it feels absolutely great.
I agree, great blog. And write whatever it is you're going to write. I'm struggling with some things, and everything like this helps me understand a bit more.
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I love this post sir. I believe I may be going through this phrase. What sucks is that when I do decide to do something I never do : /. I mean I still interact go partying, and meet girls. I just don't enjoy doing it at the moment. I don't even write poetry or short stories anymore. These are all things I love X_X
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Ill be following this with interest....
For some reason life seems really hard for me these days. Im in the hardest period of my life, but i cant seem to figure out why. I have a nice place to live, friends, school and a job, but for some reason i cant see the positive things about my life. Im worrying about everything, even things thats faar away, and wont affect me until a couple of years from now. Im negative and have lost confidence in myself. Im stressed about girls, even though im seeing a girl, and things are going decently... I dont know why, i just need to break this bad cycle and start enjoying life again. Everyone i talk to tells me itll be okay, and things will work out sooner or later, and im sure they are correct, i just cant see it happening right now. Ive been like this for several months now, its really, really fustrating. Maybe these dark periods just occurs sometimes, and maybe you just need to wait for them to disappear again, i dont know. Glad to see you got better.
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On October 26 2011 06:27 AGsc wrote:Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 06:25 pStar wrote:
I love life.
I wouldn't change it for anything. I have great friends and do decently in school.
I come home and play Starcraft or I go out. I do whatever the fuck I feel like. I believe it's important to not get too worried about things because at the end of the day, everything will sort itself out. Also what you said about girls, but I'm dead sexy. OP ask your friend out.
she's dating a loser, well, living with him, no luck for me, but who cares? i can atleast take her out for dinner, her boyfriend doesnt have a job, and they're trying to move out of his mothers home, oh well though.
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On October 26 2011 06:43 Rokit5 wrote:
Ill be following this with interest....
For some reason life seems really hard for me these days. Im in the hardest period of my life, but i cant seem to figure out why. I have a nice place to live, friends, school and a job, but for some reason i cant see the positive things about my life. Im worrying about everything, even things thats faar away, and wont affect me until a couple of years from now. Im negative and have lost confidence in myself. Im stressed about girls, even though im seeing a girl, and things are going decently... I dont know why, i just need to break this bad cycle and start enjoying life again. Everyone i talk to tells me itll be okay, and things will work out sooner or later, and im sure they are correct, i just cant see it happening right now. Ive been like this for several months now, its really, really fustrating. Maybe these dark periods just occurs sometimes, and maybe you just need to wait for them to disappear again, i dont know. Glad to see you got better.
just change things up, instead of waiting, go get it! I cleaned and organized things with some good friends.
what i might do in your situation is go for a free excursion around town, do things you normally wouldnt as long as they're free. make it into a project. Such as i did one of these, and I found that I overlook small things, like just sitting in a bar that's palying music, or going through the elevator at a parking garage. whatever is free, do it, it makes it a bit more fun that way.
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This is a very superficial method. It's good that you're going to start taking care of yourself and trying things, but I also sense a lot of pitfalls with your mindset. You are really trying to fulfill a certain ideal and I think that's unhealthy. Just in the tone of your post, this ingenuous, overly-decisive machismo... It lacks the internal motivation necessary for lasting and fulfilling change. IM GONNA GO TO PARTY AND BE A COOL GUY AND ASK THAT GIRL OUT BLERP BLERP. Wow is your life a b-movie comedy?
Good that you've decided to stop being a worthless slob, but be wary of the short-term value external motivators give. Maybe along the way with this shamelessly idealistic persona you will discover some lasting internal motivators and move healthily into the next stage of your life.
Maybe you were a little drunk while writing this, or maybe you are naive to the disappointment that comes from adopting a prescribed personality. Maybe you're actually this shallow and it really makes sense to you. gl gl whatever it is. Don't go back to being worthless if things don't go exactly as you hope, just try more things and learn a little about life.
PSPS: Brood War isn't a waste of time  Don't knock it just because you are trying to do something new. Hobbies make people interesting.
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Exactly the mindset everyone should try to have.
I wish you luck with that lovely lady of yours.
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So lately I've realized I don't give a shit about hanging out with other people and I just want to sit in my room and play video games. Kind of the opposite of the OP. All my friends do is drink and try to pick up chicks, which is SO last year for me. I am seeing a girl but I'm not sure if she's right for me either, because well, bitches be crazy.
Does that mean I'm "depressed"? I don't feel unhappy... I just don't want to hang out with my RL friends, I have a lot more fun playing LoL or WoW with my e-friends.
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And why the heck can't I rate this blog?
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On October 26 2011 06:59 Chef wrote:This is a very superficial method. It's good that you're going to start taking care of yourself and trying things, but I also sense a lot of pitfalls with your mindset. You are really trying to fulfill a certain ideal and I think that's unhealthy. Just in the tone of your post, this ingenuous, overly-decisive machismo... It lacks the internal motivation necessary for lasting and fulfilling change. IM GONNA GO TO PARTY AND BE A COOL GUY AND ASK THAT GIRL OUT BLERP BLERP. Wow is your life a b-movie comedy? Good that you've decided to stop being a worthless slob, but be wary of the short-term value external motivators give. Maybe along the way with this shamelessly idealistic persona you will discover some lasting internal motivators and move healthily into the next stage of your life. Maybe you were a little drunk while writing this, or maybe you are naive to the disappointment that comes from adopting a prescribed personality. Maybe you're actually this shallow and it really makes sense to you. gl gl whatever it is. Don't go back to being worthless if things don't go exactly as you hope, just try more things and learn a little about life. PSPS: Brood War isn't a waste of time Don't knock it just because you are trying to do something new. Hobbies make people interesting.
Well I think the OP's point is not about trying to be popular or cool, but that it helps if you break your isolation. What the OP listed were just some examples that helped him. In times of depression you naturally seek safety and isolation, and that could cause a downward spiral that makes things worse.
However, there is a pitfall here. People who are truly medically depressed will not benefit from some guy just telling them to start having fun. The whole problem is that they physically cannot experience much pleasure or happiness at all. Those people should consult psychiatrists as getting outside and doing social activities simply will not help without the help of anti-depressants.
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The mystery remains in what causes it, but it is completely true that if at some point, things just click, you open your eyes and look around you and realize there are other, better options and you're letting them pass over you like a fool, that's how depression is really broken.
Personally I think depression is actually an episode of broken philosophy, perhaps a very long episode, and your mind can only work with what you've experienced up to that point to come to new conclusions which cause your philosophy to change. You just have to absorb whatever you will, around you, and hope that eventually things line up and you get the bigger picture, accept some more workable premises for life only because you've come to learn that they are real by your own judgement, from your own limitted perspective. It helps if you look for it, but it's when your disfunctional premises include willfull ignorance of any kind that you have the longest road ahead of you. Still, hopefully even a slowly expanding frame of mind will eventually come upon an epiphany, one which accellerates your growth, if only slightly, leading eventually to another.
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On October 26 2011 07:04 Slow Motion wrote:Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 06:59 Chef wrote:This is a very superficial method. It's good that you're going to start taking care of yourself and trying things, but I also sense a lot of pitfalls with your mindset. You are really trying to fulfill a certain ideal and I think that's unhealthy. Just in the tone of your post, this ingenuous, overly-decisive machismo... It lacks the internal motivation necessary for lasting and fulfilling change. IM GONNA GO TO PARTY AND BE A COOL GUY AND ASK THAT GIRL OUT BLERP BLERP. Wow is your life a b-movie comedy? Good that you've decided to stop being a worthless slob, but be wary of the short-term value external motivators give. Maybe along the way with this shamelessly idealistic persona you will discover some lasting internal motivators and move healthily into the next stage of your life. Maybe you were a little drunk while writing this, or maybe you are naive to the disappointment that comes from adopting a prescribed personality. Maybe you're actually this shallow and it really makes sense to you. gl gl whatever it is. Don't go back to being worthless if things don't go exactly as you hope, just try more things and learn a little about life. PSPS: Brood War isn't a waste of time Don't knock it just because you are trying to do something new. Hobbies make people interesting. Well I think the OP's point is not about trying to be popular or cool, but that it helps if you break your isolation. What the OP listed were just some examples that helped him. In times of depression you naturally seek safety and isolation, and that could cause a downward spiral that makes things worse. However, there is a pitfall here. People who are truly medically depressed will not benefit from some guy just telling them to start having fun. The whole problem is that they physically cannot experience much pleasure or happiness at all. Those people should consult psychiatrists as getting outside and doing social activities simply will not help without the help of anti-depressants.
I think depression as a scientific subject is largely unsolved. However what I sense in the OP is that he just replacing one method of hiding with another. 'No one will judge me if I hide in my dark room and go on the internet anonymously' -> 'No one can judge me because it's not really me, it's a personality I'm embodying' The fear of being judged, of being discovered for who you are and if you'll be rejected or accepted is never resolved. To me it is avoiding a large issue that people who isolate themselves deal with (unnecessarily). Be a little braver and don't put on a big show. To an extent we all have to play little acts throughout life, but the less you have to act the more satisfied you will be. Otherwise you get these weird people who ten years later suddenly admit 'no, I wasn't really like that. the REAL me I kept hidden from everyone' ok super dramaman. I dislike those people... So I ask why is going to dinner and seeing your friend so much more valuable than other hobbies? See your friends, maintain your connections, be real, good, but there is satisfaction from other things in life that you shouldn't reject. If you just go out with friends because this is what society deems you should be doing, then you are still going to end up depressed and unfulfilled. This is what I mean... It's an avoidance of problems even if it is socially acceptable/encouraged. It makes no sense to value drinking in a bar more than playing games.
Pills could make you happy, but to people who have to make decisions about whether or not they take drugs to improve their mood, that's not always a satisfying solution. Actually it seems like just another diversion from the real problems.
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Damn, I wish I had the chance to do nothing but play computer games. It sucks having to do other things in life. Pretty annoying
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On October 26 2011 07:04 Slow Motion wrote:Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 06:59 Chef wrote:This is a very superficial method. It's good that you're going to start taking care of yourself and trying things, but I also sense a lot of pitfalls with your mindset. You are really trying to fulfill a certain ideal and I think that's unhealthy. Just in the tone of your post, this ingenuous, overly-decisive machismo... It lacks the internal motivation necessary for lasting and fulfilling change. IM GONNA GO TO PARTY AND BE A COOL GUY AND ASK THAT GIRL OUT BLERP BLERP. Wow is your life a b-movie comedy? Good that you've decided to stop being a worthless slob, but be wary of the short-term value external motivators give. Maybe along the way with this shamelessly idealistic persona you will discover some lasting internal motivators and move healthily into the next stage of your life. Maybe you were a little drunk while writing this, or maybe you are naive to the disappointment that comes from adopting a prescribed personality. Maybe you're actually this shallow and it really makes sense to you. gl gl whatever it is. Don't go back to being worthless if things don't go exactly as you hope, just try more things and learn a little about life. PSPS: Brood War isn't a waste of time Don't knock it just because you are trying to do something new. Hobbies make people interesting. Well I think the OP's point is not about trying to be popular or cool, but that it helps if you break your isolation. What the OP listed were just some examples that helped him. In times of depression you naturally seek safety and isolation, and that could cause a downward spiral that makes things worse. However, there is a pitfall here. People who are truly medically depressed will not benefit from some guy just telling them to start having fun. The whole problem is that they physically cannot experience much pleasure or happiness at all. Those people should consult psychiatrists as getting outside and doing social activities simply will not help without the help of anti-depressants.
Emotional impulses and neuro-chemicals are the chicken and the egg. Your neurons fire off and your glands start pumping chemicals, of course, in response to stimuli (external or internal), and who is to say that it is not a learned process? To say furthermore that it cannot be unlearned, or that you'd be better off living the rest of your life with a growing drug dependency and a host of side-effects, is in my opinion giving up too easily on a possible better answer, and on someone else's behalf. I see it as a negative influence.
To automatically discount the claim of a vitim of depression that he's ready to experience genuine, lasting happiness without the need of your prescribed physical treatment, just because you or no one you know has ever had such an experience, is really psychology at its worst. There is always an element of individual discovery that has to be respected, or else you're just an emotional dictator, and that likely will not help anyone.
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I think there are a lot of misconceptions about depression and anti-depressants here.
I never advocated someone randomly taking anti-depressants. In fact I made it clear they should seek medical professionals who may or may not prescribe anti-depressant after they evaluate and talk to you.
Anti-depressants aren't like morphine in that they do not produce pleasure. What they do is restore the natural balance of serotonin levels and give you more energy back. They help with physical symptoms of depression such as panic attacks, night sweats, lack of appetite, abnormal tiredness and lack of energy, insomnia, etc. Anti-depressants are not addictive. Actually a major problem is some people tend to stop taking them too early or take them infrequently.
Also, there is a confusion about what depression is. The depression I'm talking about is the kind that manifests in actual physical symptoms. Therapy may reduce these symptoms but it is very difficult to rely on that alone. I'm not talking about someone in a stage of life where he's just bored or unmotivated but still can have lots of fun with friends. By definition people with moderate to serious depression find it difficult to experience happiness whatever they do.
I'm not trying to say what everyone should do if they are depressed besides go see a professional. It doesn't hurt to talk to somebody and you might find it helps a lot.
This is a link that might help explain some basic things:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression/complete-index.shtml
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5/5
Good for you. It's always nice when you have these epiphanies on what you really want to do and you start DOING something after a long time of not doing anything. Though I must give similar advice as Chef - start doing something that'll change life long term as well. Always wanted to master the guitar? Want to be awesome at drawing? Maybe it's something completely different, but no matter what it is - if it's something you can keep to for a long time ahead, go for it. 
I know that my own immediate problem is to clean my own room. ^^ Other than that and having no cash (which is something I cannot fix right now without giving up school which I refuse to do ^^'), I'm livin' the dream (sort of)! I'm happy were I am in life and the future is looking extremely bright.
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hey hey, instead of how depression works, and all... i love psychology and if i could i'd double major in it, but the idea of the post was to show that maybe just changing the subtle things in your life, such as cleaning up a space, selling old things you have, might give you an oppertunnity to just change how your life is currently going
many people get stuck in a "rut" so to speak,a nd those who was clinically depressed and being, or should be- clinically treated for it. but im talking about that depression that jsut makes the world seem like a gray rather then a dark and desolate place.
so otherwise, just look to what you can do to change, and i know that sounds cliche, but like... just go clean a closet or something, it helped me feel better and it made me want to keep the lights on in most of my rooms, they're CLEAN and i like seeing that, it makes me feel happy.
booze-cruising with friends also makes me feel happy and we have that planned, just... look around ya for something
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On October 26 2011 08:39 Dee-Kej wrote:+ Show Spoiler +5/5 Good for you. It's always nice when you have these epiphanies on what you really want to do and you start DOING something after a long time of not doing anything. Though I must give similar advice as Chef - start doing something that'll change life long term as well. Always wanted to master the guitar? Want to be awesome at drawing? Maybe it's something completely different, but no matter what it is - if it's something you can keep to for a long time ahead, go for it. I know that my own immediate problem is to clean my own room. ^^ Other than that and having no cash (which is something I cannot fix right now without giving up school which I refuse to do ^^'), I'm livin' the dream (sort of)! I'm happy were I am in life and the future is looking extremely bright.
the funny thing is, is that I play guitar and i recently sold some of my older ones so that I can have some money, sure money cant buy me love or happiness, but having it available for when i need it sure helps.
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On October 26 2011 08:39 Metalreflux wrote:
hey hey, instead of how depression works, and all... i love psychology and if i could i'd double major in it, but the idea of the post was to show that maybe just changing the subtle things in your life, such as cleaning up a space, selling old things you have, might give you an oppertunnity to just change how your life is currently going
many people get stuck in a "rut" so to speak,a nd those who was clinically depressed and being, or should be- clinically treated for it. but im talking about that depression that jsut makes the world seem like a gray rather then a dark and desolate place.
so otherwise, just look to what you can do to change, and i know that sounds cliche, but like... just go clean a closet or something, it helped me feel better and it made me want to keep the lights on in most of my rooms, they're CLEAN and i like seeing that, it makes me feel happy.
booze-cruising with friends also makes me feel happy and we have that planned, just... look around ya for something
Yeah you are right and I never disagreed with you that those things help a lot and people should try to do them. I was only pointing out that simply thinking about doing all that stuff may be difficult for some suffering from depression.
And even while doing those things it's good to talk to a psychiatrist/therapist. I mean I don't know Rokit5 and all but reading his post makes me think he would benefit from talking to a therapist. I'm not interested in telling him what to do cause I don't know a thing about him, but there are people out there who can listen to him and give him good advice (and maybe take a blood test to make sure this isn't just a thyroid problem or something).
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On October 26 2011 07:24 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 07:04 Slow Motion wrote:On October 26 2011 06:59 Chef wrote:This is a very superficial method. It's good that you're going to start taking care of yourself and trying things, but I also sense a lot of pitfalls with your mindset. You are really trying to fulfill a certain ideal and I think that's unhealthy. Just in the tone of your post, this ingenuous, overly-decisive machismo... It lacks the internal motivation necessary for lasting and fulfilling change. IM GONNA GO TO PARTY AND BE A COOL GUY AND ASK THAT GIRL OUT BLERP BLERP. Wow is your life a b-movie comedy? Good that you've decided to stop being a worthless slob, but be wary of the short-term value external motivators give. Maybe along the way with this shamelessly idealistic persona you will discover some lasting internal motivators and move healthily into the next stage of your life. Maybe you were a little drunk while writing this, or maybe you are naive to the disappointment that comes from adopting a prescribed personality. Maybe you're actually this shallow and it really makes sense to you. gl gl whatever it is. Don't go back to being worthless if things don't go exactly as you hope, just try more things and learn a little about life. PSPS: Brood War isn't a waste of time Don't knock it just because you are trying to do something new. Hobbies make people interesting. Well I think the OP's point is not about trying to be popular or cool, but that it helps if you break your isolation. What the OP listed were just some examples that helped him. In times of depression you naturally seek safety and isolation, and that could cause a downward spiral that makes things worse. However, there is a pitfall here. People who are truly medically depressed will not benefit from some guy just telling them to start having fun. The whole problem is that they physically cannot experience much pleasure or happiness at all. Those people should consult psychiatrists as getting outside and doing social activities simply will not help without the help of anti-depressants. I think depression as a scientific subject is largely unsolved. However what I sense in the OP is that he just replacing one method of hiding with another. 'No one will judge me if I hide in my dark room and go on the internet anonymously' -> 'No one can judge me because it's not really me, it's a personality I'm embodying' The fear of being judged, of being discovered for who you are and if you'll be rejected or accepted is never resolved. To me it is avoiding a large issue that people who isolate themselves deal with (unnecessarily). Be a little braver and don't put on a big show. To an extent we all have to play little acts throughout life, but the less you have to act the more satisfied you will be. Otherwise you get these weird people who ten years later suddenly admit 'no, I wasn't really like that. the REAL me I kept hidden from everyone' ok super dramaman. I dislike those people... So I ask why is going to dinner and seeing your friend so much more valuable than other hobbies? See your friends, maintain your connections, be real, good, but there is satisfaction from other things in life that you shouldn't reject. If you just go out with friends because this is what society deems you should be doing, then you are still going to end up depressed and unfulfilled. This is what I mean... It's an avoidance of problems even if it is socially acceptable/encouraged. It makes no sense to value drinking in a bar more than playing games. Pills could make you happy, but to people who have to make decisions about whether or not they take drugs to improve their mood, that's not always a satisfying solution. Actually it seems like just another diversion from the real problems.
No need to be a complete ass about it. The guy's got out of his cave, something alot of us here have struggled with, and is trying something new. Just because you don't agree with what he's chosen to do with his newfound freedom doesn't make it 'shallow' or any less valuable than whatever you do (play BW?). Hanging out with people, sharing experiences and communicating doesn't seem like a bad way to spend your free time. Even if it is naive and he it doesnt make him happy at least it's worth a shot, then he can learn from it and become a more complete individual. He's probably got a better chance than some pretentious twat on an internet forum telling people why they are naive, culturally programmed noobs who don't know how to be happy.
This isn't the first time I've seen you on here bashing depression and anti-depressants. You're like a climate change skeptic, not 'believing' in a general scientific consensus simply because you personally disagree with it. As someone on anti-depressants, they didn't make me happy. Instead they relieved enough of the symptoms so that I was able to be treated by a therapist and work through my issues. Then eventually I was happy. The drugs aren't a diversion, they are a means of addressing the real problems and a long term prop to people who have naturally low levels of serotonin.
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Good for you, been there before.
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I've been there in a really bad way. I would go to work at my computer job, come home and surf the web while eating till I went to bed. I did almost nothing physically for 3 years. I got way out of whack and starting developing a strange chronic skin condition like psoriasis. It started to become painful so I just forced myself to start getting out and sweating. Sweating and increased blood flow made it feel better. It eventually went totally away when I developed a habitual exercise regimen.
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On October 26 2011 09:38 HowitZer wrote:
I've been there in a really bad way. I would go to work at my computer job, come home and surf the web while eating till I went to bed. I did almost nothing physically for 3 years. I got way out of whack and starting developing a strange chronic skin condition like psoriasis. It started to become painful so I just forced myself to start getting out and sweating. Sweating and increased blood flow made it feel better. It eventually went totally away when I developed a habitual exercise regimen.
i'm not much of an exercise man myself, i exercise, but not in a way to get rid of my problems i do so cause my family has really bulky builds to our bodies, quite a few years ago I looked really fat and I was in highschool at the time, so i worked out over a summer, and continuted through the fall and results really showed after x-mass break, where not only did i still look "big" but i looked "big" in a good way; and I also have psoriasis.
But I think changing things up is a good way to become a bit happier, but only subtly, big changes typically dont work out too well
Gl with the psoriasis, I have just the normal kind, where my skin just looks silvery and scaly, rather then really ridged or red in patches, and it's not too noticeable. you said it was painful? probably plaque psoriasis, right? try aloe mixed with some milk, it's good i hear for both psoriasis and sunburns.
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On October 26 2011 09:38 HowitZer wrote:
I've been there in a really bad way. I would go to work at my computer job, come home and surf the web while eating till I went to bed. I did almost nothing physically for 3 years. I got way out of whack and starting developing a strange chronic skin condition like psoriasis. It started to become painful so I just forced myself to start getting out and sweating. Sweating and increased blood flow made it feel better. It eventually went totally away when I developed a habitual exercise regimen.
i'm not much of an exercise man myself, i exercise, but not in a way to get rid of my problems i do so cause my family has really bulky builds to our bodies, quite a few years ago I looked fat and I was in highschool at the time, so i worked out over a summer, and continuted through the fall and results really showed after x-mass break, where not only did i still look "big" but i looked "big" in a good way; and I also have psoriasis.
But I think changing things up is a good way to become a bit happier, but only subtly, big changes typically dont work out too well
Gl with the psoriasis, I have just the normal kind, where my skin just looks silvery and scaly, rather then really ridged or red in patches, and it's not too noticeable. you said it was painful? probably plaque psoriasis, right? try aloe mixed with some milk, it's good i hear for both psoriasis and sunburns.
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JAMES IM SO SRY UR DEPRESSED I HAD NO IDEA. IM THERE FOR YA MAN!!!! PLZ CALL ME ASAP. WE WILL SORT THIS SHIT OUT. YOU ALWAYS BEEN LIKE A BROTHER TO ME!
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On October 26 2011 12:31 Tabbris wrote:
JAMES IM SO SRY UR DEPRESSED I HAD NO IDEA. IM THERE FOR YA MAN!!!! PLZ CALL ME ASAP. WE WILL SORT THIS SHIT OUT. YOU ALWAYS BEEN LIKE A BROTHER TO ME!
trololol lance.
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On October 26 2011 06:19 Cress wrote:
I'm entirely sure what this thread means exactly, but I'm glad your out of your bad mindset. Having a clean room and feeling better about your life probably increases your ability to play star craft 2. After all some of the most successful star craft 2 players have a posative mindset on sc2. Probably why those koreans are so good, nothing seems to bother them
Haha, OP's talking about going out and you're talking about Star Craft 2.
Anyway, good on you for cleaning your room and starting to live a better life.
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On October 26 2011 07:04 Slow Motion wrote:Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 06:59 Chef wrote:This is a very superficial method. It's good that you're going to start taking care of yourself and trying things, but I also sense a lot of pitfalls with your mindset. You are really trying to fulfill a certain ideal and I think that's unhealthy. Just in the tone of your post, this ingenuous, overly-decisive machismo... It lacks the internal motivation necessary for lasting and fulfilling change. IM GONNA GO TO PARTY AND BE A COOL GUY AND ASK THAT GIRL OUT BLERP BLERP. Wow is your life a b-movie comedy? Good that you've decided to stop being a worthless slob, but be wary of the short-term value external motivators give. Maybe along the way with this shamelessly idealistic persona you will discover some lasting internal motivators and move healthily into the next stage of your life. Maybe you were a little drunk while writing this, or maybe you are naive to the disappointment that comes from adopting a prescribed personality. Maybe you're actually this shallow and it really makes sense to you. gl gl whatever it is. Don't go back to being worthless if things don't go exactly as you hope, just try more things and learn a little about life. PSPS: Brood War isn't a waste of time Don't knock it just because you are trying to do something new. Hobbies make people interesting. Well I think the OP's point is not about trying to be popular or cool, but that it helps if you break your isolation. What the OP listed were just some examples that helped him. In times of depression you naturally seek safety and isolation, and that could cause a downward spiral that makes things worse. However, there is a pitfall here. People who are truly medically depressed will not benefit from some guy just telling them to start having fun. The whole problem is that they physically cannot experience much pleasure or happiness at all. Those people should consult psychiatrists as getting outside and doing social activities simply will not help without the help of anti-depressants.
while i partially agree with that, i partially disagree in that people can go work out and go have fun or try to have fun. if you truly are medically depressed, then none of those will work. but if you don't try it, then you'll never know. you'll be surprised how much stress exercise (or sex for that matter) can relieve.
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Good for you OP, great blog..
Was mad over onling gaming, practically gaming whole day long before going to school and sleep, hardly talking to friends and gradually stopped hanging out with them. Friends started hanging out with their 'new group of friends'.. So after my holidays, when i snapped out of gaming, i fell behind in studies, during breaks i have got no one to talk to and eat with, my friends wanted me to join them, but it felt awkward to me and so i am the one who stayed behind by mself everyday rotting for an hour.. Eventually i failed and was retained..
Now for the new school term, my whole class was a year younger and i knew no one, wasnt interested in making friends too. Lost interest in school and dropped out of school. So for the past 10 months or so, im basically on my computer 15 hours a day. Only going out once a week. I was invited to join them for activities, but i will feel awkward and stopped joining them..
I recently found a job, but its as boring and horrible as what im doing now. Work and tire myself out, and sleep when im home. Which is totally pointless. Even if i see my friends by chances on the streets, we have got nothing to say, i lost touch of the world. Sometimes i would even try to take a longer route just to avoid them to spare the awkwardness.. We used to meet everyday and hangout all the time. Gosh ._.
Sometimes i pity myself being in this state, I hardly communicate with my friends. I used to be so cheerful and easy-going, everyone will crowd around me and my friends. I was a trouble-maker in the past, but now i wouldnt even dare to attract anyone's attention. Now i wake up to my laptop, eat, bathe, and then sleep again. I wake up thinking playing on the computer is fun, but truth is, it is boring. But theres nothing i can do now.. My life revolves around my laptop..
Sad miserable life...
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On October 26 2011 07:24 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On October 26 2011 07:04 Slow Motion wrote:On October 26 2011 06:59 Chef wrote:This is a very superficial method. It's good that you're going to start taking care of yourself and trying things, but I also sense a lot of pitfalls with your mindset. You are really trying to fulfill a certain ideal and I think that's unhealthy. Just in the tone of your post, this ingenuous, overly-decisive machismo... It lacks the internal motivation necessary for lasting and fulfilling change. IM GONNA GO TO PARTY AND BE A COOL GUY AND ASK THAT GIRL OUT BLERP BLERP. Wow is your life a b-movie comedy? Good that you've decided to stop being a worthless slob, but be wary of the short-term value external motivators give. Maybe along the way with this shamelessly idealistic persona you will discover some lasting internal motivators and move healthily into the next stage of your life. Maybe you were a little drunk while writing this, or maybe you are naive to the disappointment that comes from adopting a prescribed personality. Maybe you're actually this shallow and it really makes sense to you. gl gl whatever it is. Don't go back to being worthless if things don't go exactly as you hope, just try more things and learn a little about life. PSPS: Brood War isn't a waste of time Don't knock it just because you are trying to do something new. Hobbies make people interesting. Well I think the OP's point is not about trying to be popular or cool, but that it helps if you break your isolation. What the OP listed were just some examples that helped him. In times of depression you naturally seek safety and isolation, and that could cause a downward spiral that makes things worse. However, there is a pitfall here. People who are truly medically depressed will not benefit from some guy just telling them to start having fun. The whole problem is that they physically cannot experience much pleasure or happiness at all. Those people should consult psychiatrists as getting outside and doing social activities simply will not help without the help of anti-depressants. I think depression as a scientific subject is largely unsolved. However what I sense in the OP is that he just replacing one method of hiding with another. 'No one will judge me if I hide in my dark room and go on the internet anonymously' -> 'No one can judge me because it's not really me, it's a personality I'm embodying' The fear of being judged, of being discovered for who you are and if you'll be rejected or accepted is never resolved. To me it is avoiding a large issue that people who isolate themselves deal with (unnecessarily). Be a little braver and don't put on a big show. To an extent we all have to play little acts throughout life, but the less you have to act the more satisfied you will be. Otherwise you get these weird people who ten years later suddenly admit 'no, I wasn't really like that. the REAL me I kept hidden from everyone' ok super dramaman. I dislike those people... So I ask why is going to dinner and seeing your friend so much more valuable than other hobbies? See your friends, maintain your connections, be real, good, but there is satisfaction from other things in life that you shouldn't reject. If you just go out with friends because this is what society deems you should be doing, then you are still going to end up depressed and unfulfilled. This is what I mean... It's an avoidance of problems even if it is socially acceptable/encouraged. It makes no sense to value drinking in a bar more than playing games. Pills could make you happy, but to people who have to make decisions about whether or not they take drugs to improve their mood, that's not always a satisfying solution. Actually it seems like just another diversion from the real problems.
What do you mean hiding? You can be both, isolated geek and party animal, they're not exactly mutually exclusive. I've spent all of HS partying, going out drinking and playing computer games and reading books. Maybe they're all masks, but they sure as hell are ME, I feel good doing any of the above and I'm not hiding or trying to trick anyone, it's just me at the time, be it metal head at a weird party, hip hop fan at another group gathering. Reading, playing, drinking, dancing, laughing, talking, listening, they're all fun activities and doing one doesn't mean I'm not myself doing the others.
Sometimes you just feel like changing something radical. I've had times where I haven't gone out for weeks because I found some new author and I just kept reading, sleeping at school. I've had times where I've gone out every day for months, not touching PC or TV, just beer and more beer.
If that's not normal, meh, who cares.
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I spent a good part of the last 3 years living in my room in darkness feeling incredibly depressed. moving away from that feeling but its so easy to slip back in :|.
More power to you man! beat that shit
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its true that a very depressed/anxious person wouldnt usually be able to just wake up and "jump out of it" one day. or if they did, then they would "fall back" and lose their progress after a phase and end up back where they were.
it is true that you can say a depressed person is "unable" to feel positive emotions, but not in a literal physiological sense. its not a case of "i injected him with heroin but he couldnt feel it" , but instead a case of "where i see a sunny day and blue sky , he sees a parching sun and irritating mosquitoes". a depressed person can understand and want to feel psychologically healthy and positive, just like an anxious person understands and wants to stop fiddling and make eye contact and not stammer.
this is why its important to get the depressed person into situations that are uncontrollably emotionally stimulating. watching bland TV shows wont help, but getting him to come out listen to some passionate public speakers might.
the big problem is getting that depressed person out of the door in the first place, IMO. depression and anxiety will keep a person indoors and unwilling just like being extremely fatigued or sick with the flu will. you dont wanna be seen by anyone, you feel like an empty waste of space and people will only dislike you if they meet you in this state! (who can blame them?). skin problems make things worse.
i made a thread on this subject myself just now , here:
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=279491
check it out if you think you might be able to benefit from it, or have been in a sticky situation in the past and might be able to add to what i wrote
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Good idea OP, I just opened the blinds for like the first time ever in this room and it feels a whole lot different!
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I actually went the opposite way, i stopped going out, as much at least. Too long spent going to clubs drinking/doing drugs was more of a negative effect than staying in on the computer. Although i wasn't really depressed at any point. I think everyone is different though and what you consider to be happiness in life isn't going to match everyone else.
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Canada9720 Posts
good post bro. to a lot of people, the barrier to being social and active seems larger than it really is. but it's easy to get out and try new activities or sports and meet the people who love them, and it's often really rewarding
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On October 27 2011 01:04 CTStalker wrote:
good post bro. to a lot of people, the barrier to being social and active seems larger than it really is. but it's easy to get out and try new activities or sports and meet the people who love them, and it's often really rewarding
I sure think it is. I'm finding that maybe taking the world for as is, and not just living through the SC-life of constnatly thinking of new builds, but rather of new people, is really nice. I'm not saying gaming is bad, infact I love sc2 a lot. however I do like to change things up a bit, I just today have started listening to differnt bands, one in particular is popular, that i never gave a try and i kind of like- Death Cab for Cutie.
anyways im glad to see positive feedback on the post. It makes me want to set-up a project with before and after pictures, i'm already looking for my camera, and I might make my own little thing for the sake of having something to do.
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EPT
