Yes, this is a (For the most part, more or less) serious post, no trolling here.
No, I don't feel as though it is a moral or religious sin to fap (lol). If I did I would not post this in a forum made up of a majority of atheists/agnostics/video game enthusiasts/etc. I just want to prove to myself that I have some degree of self control.
So far though, lets just say it hasn't gone very good. :x
My record (Starting from the beginning of June) is 2 fap-free days if anyone is interested >.>
Basically, I want anyone's input on how to resist/stop masturbating. If anyone else has/is done/doing it/trying, feel free to share your own experiences (Text format preferred).
Disclaimer: Yes, I have read that "fapping is good for you" blurb, and I will ban anyone from my blog who makes a tasteless joke/witty comment about cutting off one's dick (Read at least 10 instances of that in 2 minutes of a fruitless google search). I am not going to wear a chastity belt nor see a doctor about this, I am not going that far. ;S
Update: My next post is page 3, near the bottom after the massive sarcastic religious rant. Also page 5 or something, w/e
If you want to prove that you have some kind of self control why dont you try something more fruitful than stopping masterbating. Like starting an exercise program, or a diet, or study..or something...not bad
agreed. get a mission, something that is worth sweating day and night for, and work like an animal to accomplish your mission. Because that is the only life that is worth living. When you do that,masturbation wont exist.
Take a condom, roll it out, dip the exterior part of the condom in sulfuric acid. Then put it on yo dick. Next time you touch yourself your hand will start melting and itll hurt n stuff. So, that will make a connection in your brain that if you touch yourself u gonna get hurt.
On August 14 2011 04:24 Kiante wrote: If you want to prove that you have some kind of self control why dont you try something more fruitful than stopping masterbating. Like starting an exercise program, or a diet, or study..or something...not bad
this, just replace it with something else, i would personally suggest a girlfriend but a lot of things might work
The question in my mind, and probably in everyone's minds are why would you want to stop? There is no reason to stop masturbating since frequent ejaculation is actually healthy.
Oh come on... I didn't know TL was the place to post such blogs. Very surprised and disappointed. I'm just imagining newcomers and starcraft enthusiasts visiting this site for the first time and stumble on such blogs entries... in my opinion this kind of shit hurts TL.net's image but whatever.
On August 14 2011 04:38 Shaoling wrote: Take a condom, roll it out, dip the exterior part of the condom in sulfuric acid. Then put it on yo dick. Next time you touch yourself your hand will start melting and itll hurt n stuff. So, that will make a connection in your brain that if you touch yourself u gonna get hurt.
Ok, I'll take your case, BUT I need more information than this.
What was the exact time you started masturbating? What is your overall plan when masturbating? How about your WPM (wanks per minute), or eWPM ( different schools of thought on this, you see)? How much are you late, so to speak? All basic timings you can share with us are of extreme importance. I also like to get inside my clients head, so what is your thoughtprocess, how do you approach masturbating in general? Do you like to rush or play it out slow and safe, kinda see where it takes you? Have you already tried the basic steps of personal masturbation control ? (mags, redtube, Nada's Body,.,etc.)
thanks Don't worry, I've seen many more extreme cases than this, you'll be just fine
You just need to get out of the house and keep yourself occupied more. If you have lots of time to sit around on the computer you are bound to wank eventually. I would suggest not watching porn but rather masturbating using your imagination if you absolutely have to. If you constantly jack off to porn it becomes an obsessive habit and you will find yourself being less physically aroused with your girlfriend if/when you have one. Worse sex should be motivation enough to tone it down a bit. You don't want to desensitize your penis.
On August 14 2011 04:41 AlBundy wrote: Oh come on... I didn't know TL was the place to post such blogs. Very surprised and disappointed. I'm just imagining newcomers and starcraft enthusiasts visiting this site for the first time and stumble on such blogs entries... in my opinion this kind of shit hurts TL.net's image but whatever.
You really think this is gonna scare people away? It's going to get them interested even more.
On August 14 2011 04:14 Geovu wrote: Yes, this is a (For the most part, more or less) serious post, no trolling here.
No, I don't feel as though it is a moral or religious sin to fap (lol). If I did I would not post this in a forum made up of a majority of atheists/agnostics/video game enthusiasts/etc. I just want to prove to myself that I have some degree of self control.
So far though, lets just say it hasn't gone very good. :x
My record (Starting from the beginning of June) is 2 fap-free days if anyone is interested >.>
Basically, I want anyone's input on how to resist/stop masturbating. If anyone else has/is done/doing it/trying, feel free to share your own experiences (Text format preferred).
Disclaimer: Yes, I have read that "fapping is good for you" blurb, and I will ban anyone from my blog who makes a tasteless joke/witty comment about cutting off one's dick (Read at least 10 instances of that in 2 minutes of a fruitless google search). I am not going to wear a chastity belt nor see a doctor about this, I am not going that far. ;S
On August 14 2011 04:41 AlBundy wrote: Oh come on... I didn't know TL was the place to post such blogs. Very surprised and disappointed. I'm just imagining newcomers and starcraft enthusiasts visiting this site for the first time and stumble on such blogs entries... in my opinion this kind of shit hurts TL.net's image but whatever.
You really think this is gonna scare people away? It's going to get them interested even more.
I agree with mr Bundy, not masturbating hurts ESPORTS.
The easiest way to lose the urge to masturbate is to masturbate. So if you want to stop having the urge to masturbate, masturbate more often. Funny how things work out, huh?
On August 14 2011 04:17 SnetteL wrote: get a girlfriend?
I still wank it
Yeah trust me, having a girlfriend does absolutely nothing to stop fapping. If you are 18-25 and are fit & eat healthy there is no reason why you can't have sex with your girlfriend every night and fap as well. It took me until my penis started becoming less sensitive due to wanking before I toned it down a notch. Also getting a sex toy for masturbation (fleshlight) and not watching porn helps retain sensitivity & ability to get super aroused. As far as I am concerned masturbation is healthy unless it interferes with other parts of your life, especially your sex life.
Exercise more, preferably one where you either exercise your whole body (swimming) or you sweat like a pig after (cycling/jogging). Knocks that drive out of your system. Stop looking at porn, just prevent yourself from looking at it. As Wr3k said, if you cant stop yourself use imagination only.
Drink more water, have snacks half way between meals (fruit preferably). Dno if it stops masturbation craving, but it makes you feel better in general so you might not want to.
If you want an easy short term solution, find something that really really turns you off. It's the internet, use your imagination. Or 4chan.
On August 14 2011 04:41 AlBundy wrote: Oh come on... I didn't know TL was the place to post such blogs. Very surprised and disappointed. I'm just imagining newcomers and starcraft enthusiasts visiting this site for the first time and stumble on such blogs entries... in my opinion this kind of shit hurts TL.net's image but whatever.
It's in the blogs section, TL has always been a site about gamers for gamers, additionally masturbation is like pooping, everybody does it.
Why would they care if some sensitive person sees a random blog by a user on the website and throws a tantrum because it mentions masturbation?
I've heard that exercising helps with this uh... predicament. >_>
I don't know since I've never faced this problem, but maybe if you just keep wanking it you might get tired of it? I'm just thinking of that saying, "Too much of a good thing is a bad thing."
On August 14 2011 05:04 HwangjaeTerran wrote: Ok, I'll take your case, BUT I need more information than this.
What was the exact time you started masturbating? What is your overall plan when masturbating? How about your WPM (wanks per minute), or eWPM ( different schools of thought on this, you see)? How much are you late, so to speak? All basic timings you can share with us are of extreme importance. I also like to get inside my clients head, so what is your thoughtprocess, how do you approach masturbating in general? Do you like to rush or play it out slow and safe, kinda see where it takes you? Have you already tried the basic steps of personal masturbation control ? (mags, redtube, Nada's Body,.,etc.)
thanks Don't worry, I've seen many more extreme cases than this, you'll be just fine
On August 14 2011 04:41 AlBundy wrote: Oh come on... I didn't know TL was the place to post such blogs. Very surprised and disappointed. I'm just imagining newcomers and starcraft enthusiasts visiting this site for the first time and stumble on such blogs entries... in my opinion this kind of shit hurts TL.net's image but whatever.
It's in the blogs section, TL has always been a site about gamers for gamers, additionally masturbation is like pooping, everybody does it.
Why would they care if some sensitive person sees a random blog by a user on the website and throws a tantrum because it mentions masturbation?
Well I reacted because it's on the front page. But you are right, I may be overreacting :p
On August 14 2011 04:41 AlBundy wrote: Oh come on... I didn't know TL was the place to post such blogs. Very surprised and disappointed. I'm just imagining newcomers and starcraft enthusiasts visiting this site for the first time and stumble on such blogs entries... in my opinion this kind of shit hurts TL.net's image but whatever.
It's in the blogs section, TL has always been a site about gamers for gamers, additionally masturbation is like pooping, everybody does it.
Why would they care if some sensitive person sees a random blog by a user on the website and throws a tantrum because it mentions masturbation?
Well I reacted because it's on the front page. But you are right, I may be overreacting :p
I suppose you haven't heard about the hardest day of incontrol's life yet.
As I a year back turned Christian, I have a lot of experience with this. Since we look at it as sin, at least watching at porn or fantasying, though that is usually a part of the act. Masturbation is actually only the final act in a process all the way before that, thoughts, looking at fine women, fantasy, laziness, time on your hands etc, all this leads to it.
So basic tips is keep your scheduled busy, exercise of some sort so that you are tired when you come home and fall to sleep quickly, be aware of your goal, and be careful when you got a lot of time to spare on your own. When watching TV, or surfing the internet, avoid programs or websites that have hot women that can get you thinking or lead you to ways you do not want to. The hardest part is to break your habit if you have been doing it daily for so many years.
Sex is a strong human desire, and probably one of the hardest to control. Even the most self-controlled persons have struggled with this. I read that Gandhi, had two women sleep at his side to challenge his control, question is, if he actually slept with them or kept his celibacy.
Personally I think that watching porn is not good for a persons thoughts, because it affects it to a very bad extent in a persons daily life and relationship with women. Though the act of Masturbation is not wrong if it is only for release. Though most of the times this will be kind of pointless since its triggered by watching porn or fantasying.
Though the act of Masturbation is not wrong if it is only for release..
The Bible is completely against it. Why do you get to exercise personal judgement on this area but have to accept the rest as fact?
If you are thinking about one old testament verse about Onan, he did not get killed for spilling his seed but for disobedience. There is nothing in the Bible against what I stated. Though might be the wrong place to discuss this futher.
(Hard to not involve religion into a theme like this sorry)
Though the act of Masturbation is not wrong if it is only for release..
The Bible is completely against it. Why do you get to exercise personal judgement on this area but have to accept the rest as fact?
If you are thinking about one old testament verse about Onan, he did not get killed for spilling his seed but for disobedience. There is nothing in the Bible against what I stated. Though might be the wrong place to discuss this futher.
(Hard to not involve religion into a theme like this sorry)
This is a blog about jacking off, no need for a religious debate ok?
Though the act of Masturbation is not wrong if it is only for release..
The Bible is completely against it. Why do you get to exercise personal judgement on this area but have to accept the rest as fact?
If you are thinking about one old testament verse about Onan, he did not get killed for spilling his seed but for disobedience. There is nothing in the Bible against what I stated. Though might be the wrong place to discuss this futher.
(Hard to not involve religion into a theme like this sorry)
This is a blog about jacking off, no need for a religious debate ok?
err not jacking off*
We are actually discussing jacking off, and its quite hard to avoid this if you talk about how to control it, and deny doing it, since that is what Religious people do. I don't see how they do not connect?
Talin hits the spot that you have too much free time. During summer, when I am home all day (except for summer school..and a couple of days of work), I have so much time that you just get bored and the urge to fap. During school, however, I fap much less. You need to find something that will occupy your time so fapping does not cross your mind as often.
Try to fap to a horror movie.. or better still: Gay porn (if you are straight). If for some reason you are straight and still reach an orgasm while faping to gay porn.. just don't fap to gay porn anymore.. only horror movies.
EDIT: try to pick a horror movie with no attractive chicks in it. Yeah it's hard
On August 14 2011 05:59 ThePhan2m wrote: Since we look at it as sin, at least watching at porn or fantasying, though that is usually a part of the act.
err
there are different kinds of christians you know, don't generalise pls.
Though the act of Masturbation is not wrong if it is only for release..
The Bible is completely against it. Why do you get to exercise personal judgement on this area but have to accept the rest as fact?
If you are thinking about one old testament verse about Onan, he did not get killed for spilling his seed but for disobedience. There is nothing in the Bible against what I stated. Though might be the wrong place to discuss this futher.
(Hard to not involve religion into a theme like this sorry)
This is a blog about jacking off, no need for a religious debate ok?
err not jacking off*
We are actually discussing jacking off, and its quite hard to avoid this if you talk about how to control it, and deny doing it, since that is what Religious people do. I don't see how they do not connect?
Not all religious people refrain from jacking off. The OP said:
On August 14 2011 04:14 Geovu wrote: No, I don't feel as though it is a moral or religious sin to fap (lol).
So why even bring religion into this. Give him tips to stop masturbating that are unrelated to religion or don't bother because it being a sin isn't going to effect him at all.
I don't understand why every thread where somebody mentions religion turns into an internal argument within the thread about religion.
Anyways on topic: I don't know why you want to prove to yourself you have restraint through not jacking off because why shouldn't you? Masturbation is a perfectly normal and healthy thing, as I previously mentioned just like everybody poops, almost everybody masturbates.
If you truly want to stop masturbating than I can only really recommend exercise and whenever you get the urge to, do something to take your mind off of it such as playing a game or going outside or working out or talking to somebody.
Though the act of Masturbation is not wrong if it is only for release..
The Bible is completely against it. Why do you get to exercise personal judgement on this area but have to accept the rest as fact?
If you are thinking about one old testament verse about Onan, he did not get killed for spilling his seed but for disobedience. There is nothing in the Bible against what I stated. Though might be the wrong place to discuss this futher.
(Hard to not involve religion into a theme like this sorry)
This is a blog about jacking off, no need for a religious debate ok?
err not jacking off*
We are actually discussing jacking off, and its quite hard to avoid this if you talk about how to control it, and deny doing it, since that is what Religious people do. I don't see how they do not connect?
Not all religious people refrain from jacking off. The OP said:
On August 14 2011 04:14 Geovu wrote: No, I don't feel as though it is a moral or religious sin to fap (lol).
So why even bring religion into this. Give him tips to stop masturbating that are unrelated to religion or don't bother because it being a sin isn't going to effect him at all.
I don't understand why every thread where somebody mentions religion turns into an internal argument within the thread about religion.
Anyways on topic: I don't know why you want to prove to yourself you have restraint through not jacking off because why shouldn't you? Masturbation is a perfectly normal and healthy thing, as I previously mentioned just like everybody poops, almost everybody masturbates.
If you truly want to stop masturbating than I can only really recommend exercise and whenever you get the urge to, do something to take your mind off of it such as playing a game or going outside or working out or talking to somebody.
You are the one who brought it up. I posted tips for the guy from my experience, he wanted to stop... I'm fully aware of what he has written and believes.
If you want something to challenge you and takes a lot of willpower, do P90x and follow the diet strictly. It's way harder than trying to stop masturbating. It doesn't prove anything to stop masturbating, only that you use the weirdest methods of teaching yourself self-control.
Though the act of Masturbation is not wrong if it is only for release..
The Bible is completely against it. Why do you get to exercise personal judgement on this area but have to accept the rest as fact?
If you are thinking about one old testament verse about Onan, he did not get killed for spilling his seed but for disobedience. There is nothing in the Bible against what I stated. Though might be the wrong place to discuss this futher.
(Hard to not involve religion into a theme like this sorry)
This is a blog about jacking off, no need for a religious debate ok?
err not jacking off*
We are actually discussing jacking off, and its quite hard to avoid this if you talk about how to control it, and deny doing it, since that is what Religious people do. I don't see how they do not connect?
Not all religious people refrain from jacking off. The OP said:
On August 14 2011 04:14 Geovu wrote: No, I don't feel as though it is a moral or religious sin to fap (lol).
So why even bring religion into this. Give him tips to stop masturbating that are unrelated to religion or don't bother because it being a sin isn't going to effect him at all.
I don't understand why every thread where somebody mentions religion turns into an internal argument within the thread about religion.
Anyways on topic: I don't know why you want to prove to yourself you have restraint through not jacking off because why shouldn't you? Masturbation is a perfectly normal and healthy thing, as I previously mentioned just like everybody poops, almost everybody masturbates.
If you truly want to stop masturbating than I can only really recommend exercise and whenever you get the urge to, do something to take your mind off of it such as playing a game or going outside or working out or talking to somebody.
You are the one who brought it up. I posted tips for the guy from my experience, he wanted to stop... I'm fully aware of what he has written and believes.
I fail to see how it's hard to involve religion in a discussion about masturbation unless all that's on your mind is religion, I also fail to see how I brought religion into this.
However I'd appreciate if we could stop talking about this off-topic subject.
Though the act of Masturbation is not wrong if it is only for release..
The Bible is completely against it. Why do you get to exercise personal judgement on this area but have to accept the rest as fact?
If you are thinking about one old testament verse about Onan, he did not get killed for spilling his seed but for disobedience. There is nothing in the Bible against what I stated. Though might be the wrong place to discuss this futher.
(Hard to not involve religion into a theme like this sorry)
This is a blog about jacking off, no need for a religious debate ok?
On August 14 2011 05:59 ThePhan2m wrote: As I a year back turned Christian, I have a lot of experience with this. Since we look at it as sin, at least watching at porn or fantasying, though that is usually a part of the act. Masturbation is actually only the final act in a process all the way before that, thoughts, looking at fine women, fantasy, laziness, time on your hands etc, all this leads to it.
So basic tips is keep your scheduled busy, exercise of some sort so that you are tired when you come home and fall to sleep quickly, be aware of your goal, and be careful when you got a lot of time to spare on your own. When watching TV, or surfing the internet, avoid programs or websites that have hot women that can get you thinking or lead you to ways you do not want to. The hardest part is to break your habit if you have been doing it daily for so many years.
Sex is a strong human desire, and probably one of the hardest to control. Even the most self-controlled persons have struggled with this. I read that Gandhi, had two women sleep at his side to challenge his control, question is, if he actually slept with them or kept his celibacy.
Personally I think that watching porn is not good for a persons thoughts, because it affects it to a very bad extent in a persons daily life and relationship with women. Though the act of Masturbation is not wrong if it is only for release. Though most of the times this will be kind of pointless since its triggered by watching porn or fantasying.
Dear ThePhan2m,
Warm greetings to you in Christian love.
I write to you as one who appreciates your ministry and the contribution you have made to the body of Christ. I love the ways God has used you on the Reagan Commission on Pornography, in many areas of family life, and on the moral issues facing our country.
My hope in this writing is to encourage you to reconsider the subject of masturbation so that the values for which you and Focus on the Family have stood these many years might be consistent and that, as Christians, we would have one voice and one unified message on this issue. There is no malice in my heart, but only thankfulness and appreciation for you, and the desire to simply ask you to read this letter and give it your prayerful consideration.
At Setting Captives Free, we minister to those in the grip of pornography, masturbation, homosexuality, and/or adultery. We have, to date, worked with approximately 100,000 people in the area of sexual sin. Every day, we receive enrollments from adolescents who struggle with masturbation. They are truly in bondage, covered with guilt and shame, and weakened by their continual falling to masturbation. The following comment from a young man on a recent enrollment form exemplifies what we often hear from adolescents in our courses:
I've been wondering about the area of self-gratification. Though the Setting Captives Free course believes we can be free from it, I was reading some articles on Focus on the Family's website and came across this article by James Dobson about the issue. Can you give me your feedback on it? I'm more confused than before, and just want to figure this out.
This young man is referring to an article you wrote on the subject of masturbation, which is quoted throughout my response here and also included, in its entirety, at the end of this letter.
I recognize your gracious manner in writing the letter below. It is clear that you have offered the advice you feel is good and right, and that it is not your intention to cause division in the body of Christ whatsoever. I also appreciate your recognition of the many differing viewpoints on this issue. My hope is that you will reconsider your position in the light of truth, as well as the effect our differing counsel has on Christian young people. I humbly request that you prayerfully consider how changing your position would provide true hope to many adolescents who are struggling mightily in this area.
In this regard, I ask you to consider my response to the four points in your letter. First, however, I will state that I do agree there is no medical problem with masturbation; we are not in the camp of those who seek to use fear as a tactic to promote freedom.
Now, your first point is this:
As for the emotional consequences of masturbation, only four circumstances should give us cause for concern. The first is when it is associated with oppressive guilt from which the individual can't escape. That guilt has the potential to do considerable psychological and spiritual damage. Boys and girls who labor under divine condemnation can gradually become convinced that even God couldn't love them. They promise a thousand times with great sincerity never again to commit this despicable act. Then a week or two passes, or perhaps several months. Eventually, the hormonal pressure accumulates until nearly every waking moment reverberates with sexual desire. Finally, in a moment (and I do mean a moment) of weakness, it happens again. What then, dear friend? Tell me what a young person says to God after he or she has just broken the one thousand first solemn promise to Him? I am convinced that some teenagers have thrown over their faith because of their inability to please God at this point of masturbation.
The above scenario applies not only to those struggling with masturbation, but also to those in the grip of pornography, adultery, overeating, drinking, gambling, or any habit. The argument that masturbation brings guilt should not lead us to teach that masturbation is acceptable, so that those who engage in it would not feel guilty. The argument may be made that masturbation is not mentioned in Scripture and, therefore, cannot be compared to homosexuality, adultery, or drunkenness, etc. My point is that just because a behavior causes guilt is not reason, in and of itself, to condone the behavior so people will feel less guilty. We have worked with many who vow and promise to stop viewing pornography but, in a moment of weakness, fall once again. Many have thrown over their faith because of their inability to please God at this point of not viewing pornography. Should we tell them that viewing pornography is OK, because they cannot overcome it in their own strength and through their own will power?
The question arises, then, as to what causes the guilt or the guilt feelings regarding masturbation? It must be that either the behavior itself is sinful and, therefore, those who engage in it are actually guilty, or that the behavior itself is not sinful but, rather, the teaching of some in the church have placed false guilt upon those involved in masturbation. If the truth is the former, it would be very important not to attempt to assuage that guilt with a message of "It’s OK; don’t feel bad; everybody does it." If the truth is the latter, it would be beneficial to spread the message that masturbation is acceptable, that we should cast off any false guilt associated with it, and that it does not affect our relationship with God.
So, my response to your first point is to say that we should not attempt to alleviate guilt in all things simply by saying, "There is nothing wrong with the behavior." I am quite sure you would not take that stand with regard to pornography, adultery, homosexuality, or any other sin that is clearly mentioned in the Bible. I feel confident that you agree with this thought process so far.
The second point in your letter is this:
The second circumstance in which masturbation might have harmful implications is when it becomes extremely obsessive. That is more likely to occur when it has been understood by the individual to be "forbidden fruit." I believe the best way to prevent that kind of obsessive response is for adults not to emphasize or condemn it. Regardless of what you do, you will not stop the practice of masturbation in your teenagers. That is a certainty. You'll just drive it underground -- or under covers. Nothing works as a "cure." Cold showers, lots of exercise, many activities, and awesome threats are ineffective. Attempting to suppress this act is one campaign that is destined to fail -- so why wage it?
I am confident you would agree that the term "extremely obsessive" or what the culture calls "addiction," is simply another word for the biblical term of "slavery." And, if you have observed adolescents for a number of years, you have probably seen how masturbation can quickly lead to this type of obsessive or enslaving behavior in some people. This is not the case with everyone but, just as there are "degrees" of addiction to pornography, with some engaging in it daily and others on a less frequent basis, so it is with masturbation.
The fact that masturbation is enslaving, probably as much as or more than alcohol, pornography, or gambling, for instance, since it involves our own flesh, should lead us to at least give consideration as to whether or not it fits in the category of "slavery," as mentioned in Romans 6 and other places in Scripture.
Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. Romans 6:19
We agree with you that cold showers, lots of exercise, and threats, etc., are totally ineffective against the power of the flesh and are most certainly completely useless against the overwhelming desire for masturbation. However, let’s consider the power of the grace of God. I’m sure you believe that the grace of God is able to accomplish far more than will-power, human resolve and personal vows ever could. The grace of God and the empowering of the Holy Spirit are a "one-two punch" to the flesh, and are able to entirely melt the human heart and defeat the pull of the flesh.
Again, I trust you agree with this statement because I have heard you speak of the amazing grace of Almighty God, the deep love of Jesus Christ, and the powerful working of the Holy Spirit in a person’s life. So, I think we can agree that this divine power is much more effective than a cold shower, a weak threat, or a decision to "do better." Those who try to suppress and resist the power of temptation in their own flesh end up "white-knuckling" their way to "sobriety" or, in this case, abstinence. They make their vows, grit their teeth, and hunker down to resist that which, in their hearts, they really love to do. As you have stated above, this type of campaign is destined to fail.
While I certainly agree with you that the campaign waged in the power of the flesh is destined to fail, I do not agree that we should not wage the campaign at all.
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Galatians 5:16
Having seen literally thousands of people enslaved to masturbation become entirely free from it, I believe this is a worthwhile campaign in which to engage. Those who experience the amazing grace of God become free, even free indeed, to become happy captives to Jesus Christ. And then to see the amazing character that is built into these ex-captives to sin, and the powerful effect of purity these adolescents experience makes this a very worthwhile campaign. I not only believe this is a worthwhile campaign to wage, I also believe it is a winnable war. It is winnable, not through will-power, but through the power of grace and through the Spirit of God.
But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. Romans 6:22.
Dr. Dobson, I intend no disrespect whatsoever, but I do hope you will see that the philosophy of "We can’t win this campaign, so why try?" is a hopeless position. In essence, it tells someone who truly wants to be free from bondage to masturbation, "You can try if you want, but you’ll never be successful, so why even make the effort?" I believe that in Christ there is always hope and, considering the numbers of both men and women we see finding freedom from slavery to masturbation and living in freedom for years afterward, we have every reason to believe that this is, indeed, a winnable campaign, if fought in the enabling power of God’s grace and through the infusing strength of the Holy Spirit.
Your third point is this:
The third situation around which we should be concerned is when the young person becomes addicted to pornographic material. The kind of obscenity available to teenagers today has the capacity to grab and hold a boy for the rest of his life. Parents will want to intervene if there is evidence that their son or daughter is heading down that well-worn path.
Pornography and masturbation go together. While it is possible to masturbate without viewing pornography, it is true that anyone involved in pornography will also masturbate. I believe this is the reason that Jesus says, metaphorically, that if our eye causes us to sin to "pluck it out" and if our right hand causes us to sin to "cut it off" (Matthew 5:29-30), as the eye is the means of dwelling on lustful images, and the hand is that which is used to gratify the flesh. Jesus said we are to remove all access to that which causes us to lust, so we can’t even see it, and we are to make it impossible to gratify our flesh with our hand.
If someone ceases to view pornography but continues to masturbate, he fuels his lust with past fantasies and pornographic images, which burns the images deeper into his mind. However, if someone ceases both the viewing of pornography and also masturbation, the fire of lust eventually dies out for lack of fuel. Masturbation, then, is that which keeps people enslaved to lust, for it is directly responsible for fueling the imagination.
Your fourth point is this:
The fourth concern about masturbation refers not to adolescents but to us as adults. This habit has the capacity to follow us into marriage and become a substitution for healthy sexual relations between a husband and wife. This, I believe, is what the apostle Paul meant when he instructed us not to "deprive" one another as marital partners: "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control" (1 Corinthians 7:5).
Dr. Dobson, we are in complete agreement with you regarding the need for healthy sexual relations between a husband and wife, and also that masturbation may wrongly be used as a substitute for the "one flesh" concept God has ordained for married couples. But oh, how difficult it is to stop a behavior formed in youth, reinforced over hundreds or even thousands of repetitions. It is so much better to help adolescents seek God for His grace in order to save themselves for their spouses, than it is for them to later try to break an ingrained habit formed over many years.
The passage you quoted obviously addresses husbands and wives, but it also has this to say to the youth and the unmarried:
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Corinthians 7
In this passage, the apostle Paul had a perfect opportunity to share that masturbation was acceptable, if it were, indeed, an option. He could have said, "It is better to masturbate than to burn." But the fact that he pointed to marriage as the only outlet for the proper expression of sexual desire excludes manual gratification of the flesh, or what has more recently been termed "masturbation."
Regarding the Bible’s silence on the word "masturbation," I think you will agree that the word "masturbation" is a relatively new term, invented by the medical and psychological community. Of course this new word, invented in the last century, would not appear in Scripture. But could we not also say that the words "gay lifestyle" and "having an affair," etc., are not found in Scripture? Does the silence of Scripture on these issues imply the condoning of the behavior?
Certainly we would answer "No," because the Bible does describe and condemn the above behaviors, calling them "homosexuality" and "adultery." Could it not be that the Scriptures also describe the act where someone, in a moment of weakness, gratifies his own flesh and performs an act of sex, which was designed by God to be enjoyed between a man and a woman committed to each other within the vows of marriage, instead?
Again, I mention that had God, through Paul, wanted to teach us to relieve our own sexual tensions (or what Scripture calls "burning" in 1 Corinthians 7), he could have said, "It is better to gratify our flesh than to burn with desire." Rather, God clearly states that marriage is the only outlet for the "buildup of hormonal pressure" (burning). If the absence of the word "masturbation" in Scripture is to be considered, then its silence in 1 Corinthians 7 speaks loudly.
In summary, Dr. Dobson, I recognize that you have been used greatly by God to strengthen the family and to help us raise our children in ways that honor God and make for a happy family. For this I am grateful to you. I hope you will consider how you might also give hope to thousands of young people across the country that, through God’s grace they, too, may be pure. Through the power of the Holy Spirit they can walk in victory over the cravings of their flesh, so that what could never be accomplished through trying hard, through cold showers, through threats and warnings, can indeed be accomplished by Christ living in and through us. Indeed, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Phil. 4:13).
May I challenge you today to reconsider your viewpoint on masturbation, so that you might be used of God to strengthen future families, rather than providing excuses for them to remain weak? This "Focus on Future Families" would, I believe, have wide-reaching effects, giving hope to many who believe they are currently doomed to a slave’s existence.
I want to close with two testimonies we have received, both from adolescents who have taken our Bible study courses here at Setting Captives Free and have also read your article on masturbation. The first is from a young man and the second is from a young lady.
Andrew wrote:
To be honest, I don't know where I'd be without that "heap of guilt." It's probably the best thing I could have felt at the time. I think the issue of masturbation really isn't talked about enough in the church; it's simply that gray area of "You don't do this; we don't talk about it; everybody's happy" - I do agree with that. However, it should not be merely accepted on the grounds that "They're only confused teenagers, and too much stress will only hurt them." It needs to be brought out into the open, and it needs to be made known that it is a sin. Far too unlikely that any man, much less adolescent teenagers, can commit this act without formulating any sort of sexual fantasy in their minds.
Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. Ephesians 4:15-16
We, as Christians, are to speak the truth in love, not to speak falsities (such as, "Don't worry too much about masturbation because you're growing up and experimenting with your sexuality") even if those falsities are spoken in an attempt to love others. I honestly believe Mr. Dobson made this statement because he believes it is the loving thing to do; I respectfully disagree with his statement.
The line we must walk is speaking the truth in love, and it is not an easy one to walk. The truth is not always the easiest thing to hear, but usually it's what we need to hear. Balancing that with compassion and being sure that we do not condemn adolescents for their confusion, but being available and willing to help them is what I believe is what our Father would have us do. If I had come to Setting Captives Free only to be told that because I was a teenager, self-gratification was an acceptable practice and that I shouldn't worry too much about it, I fear to think of where I'd be now. Truth in love; there is no other way. Yes, the guilt did hurt, as did the truth that what I was doing was completely wrong and detestable to God - but the compassion, love, and care I received when I came here balanced that out perfectly, and now I'm walking in wonderful, glorious, God-given freedom.
Well, this is from an adolescent's point of view.
Blessings, Andrew
Susan wrote:
I have been involved in masturbation for a long time. I have tried many times to stop because I knew I was not glorifying God. But I would come to the point where I didn’t care and I would watch my relationship with God going down, while wondering why. At the beginning of February, I just came to have an intense desire to get things right. I was attending a lot of classes that were talking about purity. I felt as if everywhere I was being prompted by God to get right with Him. Then a speaker from Setting Captives Free came to my class and I knew I just had to try it. I enrolled and just started getting right with God again and being in daily communication with Him. I have been pure ever since I started, and I know it is only by the grace of God. I also know that I need to take this fight one day at a time and that is the only way to be free. God has given me an intense desire for purity. I am now going into this battle equipped to live in the freedom I already possess. I am radically amputating things that are causing me to sin and I have an accountability partner who I think is essential in this fight. I am learning the importance of daily being in God’s Word.
Susan
ThePhan2m, thank you for considering our request. It is our hope that you will reconsider your viewpoint on this subject. Either way, however, we will be happy to include your response on our website.
May God bless you and your ministry, as you seek to honor Christ.
Sincerely,
Mike Cleveland Founder and President of Setting Captives Free
I sincerely the above poster did not spend as long and put as much effort into as I would need to have needed to have done in order to complete that text.
On August 14 2011 04:24 Kiante wrote: If you want to prove that you have some kind of self control why dont you try something more fruitful than stopping masterbating. Like starting an exercise program, or a diet, or study..or something...not bad
Indeed, I have been taking recent efforts in other aspects in my life in order to improve it. I don't feel it necessary to share when the topic is dick related, however.
On August 14 2011 04:41 AlBundy wrote: Oh come on... I didn't know TL was the place to post such blogs. Very surprised and disappointed. I'm just imagining newcomers and starcraft enthusiasts visiting this site for the first time and stumble on such blogs entries... in my opinion this kind of shit hurts TL.net's image but whatever.
There is much more adult oriented, graphic, disgusting, prudish, and explicit content here on Teamliquid than my thread. In fact, I made an effort to make my posts more 'polite', for a lack of a better word. Two examples off the top of my head of threads I would consider even borderline NSFW even though they don't have any (inappropriate at least) pictures would be the Gay Starcraft Players thread and something along the line of 'Tell us your embarrassing childhood stories'. I'm not fishing out links right now.
On August 14 2011 05:01 Bambipwnsu wrote: Friends have tried this. You get wet dreams.
I've never had one of those before (Once the lighting was installed the switch was turned on right away and never turned back off, so to speak), so really its just another incentive to stop, if at least to have a unique experience.
On August 14 2011 05:04 Wr3k wrote: You just need to get out of the house and keep yourself occupied more. If you have lots of time to sit around on the computer you are bound to wank eventually. I would suggest not watching porn but rather masturbating using your imagination if you absolutely have to. If you constantly jack off to porn it becomes an obsessive habit and you will find yourself being less physically aroused with your girlfriend if/when you have one. Worse sex should be motivation enough to tone it down a bit. You don't want to desensitize your penis.
I don't really have this issue. Even if I've spent the day jacking off to horse --> cow porn (Exaggeration, #1 that is hard to find/would cost money, #2 is kind of gross. Is it legal? dunno, either way, I'd like to make it clear I'm not into bestiality), chicks in real life are still more arousing to me because it is real life.
Also, as a side note and a clarification, while it seems most people seem to do a 100% computer fap, I have always since I started done like a 50/50 bedroom/compy fap schedule. Often it is because it is at night, and occassionally it is simply because I don't want porn. So really, it is not what I would call an 'obsessive habit'. This makes it harder to stop masturbating though because you can't just block porn sites and call it a day or something D:
As a 2nd also, when I have completed a completed a busy/strenuous/excersize and sweat filled day, the urge to fap when I finally get a few minutes of free time increase exponentially. Especially if I am taking a shower before bed (I will spare details, don't worry. If on the other hand you want details you can just shoot a PM over). For example, I went to MLG (and Disneyland woot), but if you payed close attention to the details of the OP you will note that the max record for no-fapping is more or less 2 days. So basically yes, I fapped there too.
So the point form notes would be: -Still get aroused in RL fine regardless of pr0n exposure -Exercise makes me horny -Keeping busy doesn't have a higher success rate than being a fat slob on my computer -There is always the bedtime boner to worry about.
On August 14 2011 07:05 gurrpp wrote: When you feel like fapping, go eat a cookie instead.
I don't want to get fat D; Well, fatter than I am currently.
Also there are no cookies in my house, for the above reason.
The G-spot on men are in the poophole. To reach it you got to stick a finger up your butt and then massage the side facing your front. So get some lube and some gloves and voila! You no longer need to abuse your love-stick =)
Put in five dollars for Unicef/another charity every time you fail yourself. Voila, you'll stop. Just man up, masturbating is really unmanly, think of some girl you fancy seeing you. Does she think 'woah, what a manly half-bear man man'? Ofcourse not, she sees a dude pathetically getting off because he can't get a girl to do it for him.
Also you're WAY overcomplicating things. You really simply need to stop fapzorzing.
On August 15 2011 18:37 laee wrote: sorry but you can't fight nature and win.
so true. Why do you think the human race survived for thousands of years? you're fighting an age old desire that is ESSENTIAL TO THE SURVIVAL OF THE HUMAN SPECIES.
glhf vsing nature ;D
On August 15 2011 13:44 Weson wrote: The G-spot on men are in the poophole. To reach it you got to stick a finger up your butt and then massage the side facing your front. So get some lube and some gloves and voila! You no longer need to abuse your love-stick =)
I find that when I hit a TV show hard and/or work out, I simply don't think about masturbating and don't do it as often. I masturbate at most once per day, but for me the real problem is how much time it takes up (I can sometimes blow hours between looking at porn and masturbating).
When my first real girlfriend still had a sex drive, I went about a month without masturbating, but I had sex like 2-3 times per week. Find yourself someone similar (or better) and you won't have to wank it as much. That's pretty much what I'm looking for right now, although finding a girl with a comparable sex drive to mine will result in nothing but lost time.
Here at work we have a lot of "adult entertainment movies" that would immedatly remove any hornyness you might have, no matter how tolerant you might be.
It sometimes gets really bad when a movie is stuck in the rendering process and i have to find out why -.- The first 5 seconds of some movies that you opened just to check the codec information can ruin your whole day
Anyways, before you take such an extreme measure: The best solution is to remove boredom, just do other stuff and you won't think about it that much anymore. If you are bored often, your thoughts will go to the easiest thing that you can do to avoid being bored...
If you think about it too much (constant "must not fap" going on in your head), it'll be hard not to cause of all the reverse psychology going on. Just stay focused on something else for a few days and get past it - and once you break the habit it shouldn't be too hard to stay off.
I can recommend getting off the habit though. If it's just monotonous relieving it doesn't really help you feel better, not for me at least. Once a week or so is cool for me now (instead of daily like I might've in some point), it's a more interesting moment that way, also real sex feels more special. But I'm actually less desperate to get laid as well, even if it feels better it isn't on my mind as much as it used to.
Though I think the effect on your libido is mostly psychological, it might not have the same effect on you. Or who knows, maybe it's just me getting old.
I think you're focusing on this problem the wrong way. I think you need to masturbate more. Challenge yourself to see how many times you can do it each day for a month. Start a calendar to mark your progress, as you go from 1-2 sessions per day all the way up to 25.
Uh, Just don't do it. Just get the mindset that masturbation is not an option. You are not going to try to not wank, you are just going to not do it. I've gone pretty easily for like 1-2 months, the one time i did it purposfully it was just to see how it affected my sexdrive\life and it went fine, the one thing I guess was I couldnt just like get rid of erections by rubbing one out but apart from that it all went ok n_n
I've actually found that its one of those where if you don't do it for like a week you kinda stop wanting to. The more you do it the more you want to do it. It takes some willpower to get through the first 3-4 days but after you get past the hard part it gets easier to just keep going.
To get through that hard part try exercising a lot or playing a lot of sports or something for a few days straight, wear yourself out and go to bed early you'll be too exhausted to want to wank it.
On August 22 2011 06:13 funnybananaman wrote: I've actually found that its one of those where if you don't do it for like a week you kinda stop wanting to. The more you do it the more you want to do it. It takes some willpower to get through the first 3-4 days but after you get past the hard part it gets easier to just keep going.
To get through that hard part try exercising a lot or playing a lot of sports or something for a few days straight, wear yourself out and go to bed early you'll be too exhausted to want to wank it.
I didn't do it for 6 whole days at boy scout(no girls except for old lunch ladies) camp this year. Then I did it again after seeing one of the guy's sister T.T.
Why do you care if you fap or not? What difference does it make?
I don't even keep count, it's like pissing or blowing my nose. Sometimes I don't do it for a day or few, sometimes I do it multiple times a day.
I have a girlfriend, she helps cut that down by a lot. If your sexually pent up, you need to go out. You won't be masturbating much if you are out with girls or with some friends (trying to get girls, maybe). If your on the computer all day, being a loser (and we all need out downtime, don't get me wrong), playing sc2 all day, you'll spend a lot of time fapping, feeling sorry for yourself maybe, and definitely not doing anything to change that situation.
And it's basically a girlfriends job to make sure masturbation isn't a problem of yours. I know my GF doesn't really appreciate it when I fap a lot, not because she's against it or anything, but because she wants sex and I'm not giving it, yet I'm horny, when I'm fapping. But you know, sometimes you want sex, sometimes you know you won't be particularly impressive in bed and just need to get something out rather than have a good time.
I don't fap too much with a job, a girlfriend, and this and that going on (I'm not saying I'm far from a loser either, but I keep myself busy). This week we're moving, she's left a week earlier and I'm off this job, so you know, I'm fapping a bit more lol. But I also went out this weekend, and didn't fap at all because I was dead tired when I got back. If you're active, you tend to fap less.
But why do you care? I've never kept count, and I'm quite certain I've gone a week without fapping this last month, and days of multiple faps. Although had sex about daily, I guess that kind of changes that, but you know, there were a few days I'm sure I went without masturbating and sex as well.
On August 22 2011 06:13 funnybananaman wrote: I've actually found that its one of those where if you don't do it for like a week you kinda stop wanting to. The more you do it the more you want to do it. It takes some willpower to get through the first 3-4 days but after you get past the hard part it gets easier to just keep going.
To get through that hard part try exercising a lot or playing a lot of sports or something for a few days straight, wear yourself out and go to bed early you'll be too exhausted to want to wank it.
I didn't do it for 6 whole days at boy scout(no girls except for old lunch ladies) camp this year. Then I did it again after seeing one of the guy's sister T.T.
On August 15 2011 13:44 Weson wrote: The G-spot on men are in the poophole. To reach it you got to stick a finger up your butt and then massage the side facing your front. So get some lube and some gloves and voila! You no longer need to abuse your love-stick =)
Sorry but I don't want a flappy wind tunnel for one of my several orifices, that is a woman's duty. :o
On August 16 2011 01:25 ninazerg wrote: I think you're focusing on this problem the wrong way. I think you need to masturbate more. Challenge yourself to see how many times you can do it each day for a month. Start a calendar to mark your progress, as you go from 1-2 sessions per day all the way up to 25.
Fapping until it bleeds isn't a good tactic IMO. Just Saiyan
On August 14 2011 10:32 Probe1 wrote: So you're not really addicted and you feel its a bit of a joke (I'm extrapolating from the overall tone). But you made a blog about not masturbating.
I don't know what to say.
I would like to clarify that I do not think of this as a joke, though I understand that because of my tone (EG stating that this is not a life or death matter <.<), one might think that I am taking it as such. I am not completely certain what 'addicted' would indicate, but I would personally describe an addiction as something that you do that you could not easily stop doing even if you wanted to, E.G. Breathing, Complaining about how Zerg is too weak even though Infestors are OP, or Fapping. Considering I haven't been able to not fap for more than , I would say that that would count as an 'addiction' as defined within this paragraph. I'm not addicted to porn, if thats what you meant.
On August 22 2011 07:36 Belial88 wrote: Why do you care if you fap or not? What difference does it make?
I don't even keep count, it's like pissing or blowing my nose. Sometimes I don't do it for a day or few, sometimes I do it multiple times a day.
I have a girlfriend, she helps cut that down by a lot. If your sexually pent up, you need to go out. You won't be masturbating much if you are out with girls or with some friends (trying to get girls, maybe). If your on the computer all day, being a loser (and we all need out downtime, don't get me wrong), playing sc2 all day, you'll spend a lot of time fapping, feeling sorry for yourself maybe, and definitely not doing anything to change that situation.
And it's basically a girlfriends job to make sure masturbation isn't a problem of yours. I know my GF doesn't really appreciate it when I fap a lot, not because she's against it or anything, but because she wants sex and I'm not giving it, yet I'm horny, when I'm fapping. But you know, sometimes you want sex, sometimes you know you won't be particularly impressive in bed and just need to get something out rather than have a good time.
I don't fap too much with a job, a girlfriend, and this and that going on (I'm not saying I'm far from a loser either, but I keep myself busy). This week we're moving, she's left a week earlier and I'm off this job, so you know, I'm fapping a bit more lol. But I also went out this weekend, and didn't fap at all because I was dead tired when I got back. If you're active, you tend to fap less.
But why do you care? I've never kept count, and I'm quite certain I've gone a week without fapping this last month, and days of multiple faps. Although had sex about daily, I guess that kind of changes that, but you know, there were a few days I'm sure I went without masturbating and sex as well.
1) Dude if you're not pissing every day you got some serious problems. You're supposed to urinate at least 4 times a day so you don't distend your bladder. You are either on some serious smack, or you are lying out your ass. Either way I would see a Doctor/Psychologist (No one should feel the need to lie about how often they enter Tinkle Town.
2) If you read the OP you would find out the reason as to why I made this thread.