• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 08:46
CEST 14:46
KST 21:46
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Tournament Spotlight: FEL Cracow 20257Power Rank - Esports World Cup 202577RSL Season 1 - Final Week9[ASL19] Finals Recap: Standing Tall15HomeStory Cup 27 - Info & Preview18
Community News
Google Play ASL (Season 20) Announced24BSL Team Wars - Bonyth, Dewalt, Hawk & Sziky teams10Weekly Cups (July 14-20): Final Check-up0Esports World Cup 2025 - Brackets Revealed19Weekly Cups (July 7-13): Classic continues to roll8
StarCraft 2
General
Power Rank - Esports World Cup 2025 Tournament Spotlight: FEL Cracow 2025 #1: Maru - Greatest Players of All Time I offer completely free coaching services What tournaments are world championships?
Tourneys
FEL Cracov 2025 (July 27) - $10,000 live event Esports World Cup 2025 $25,000 Streamerzone StarCraft Pro Series announced $5,000 WardiTV Summer Championship 2025 WardiTV Mondays
Strategy
How did i lose this ZvP, whats the proper response
Custom Maps
External Content
Mutation #239 Bad Weather Mutation # 483 Kill Bot Wars Mutation # 482 Wheel of Misfortune Mutation # 481 Fear and Lava
Brood War
General
Google Play ASL (Season 20) Announced [Update] ShieldBattery: 2025 Redesign Dewalt's Show Matches in China BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ BW General Discussion
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL20] Non-Korean Championship 4x BSL + 4x China CSL Xiamen International Invitational [CSLPRO] It's CSLAN Season! - Last Chance
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers [G] Mineral Boosting Does 1 second matter in StarCraft?
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Total Annihilation Server - TAForever [MMORPG] Tree of Savior (Successor of Ragnarok) Path of Exile
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread UK Politics Mega-thread Stop Killing Games - European Citizens Initiative Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread
Fan Clubs
INnoVation Fan Club SKT1 Classic Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[\m/] Heavy Metal Thread Anime Discussion Thread Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece Korean Music Discussion
Sports
2024 - 2025 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 NBA General Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Installation of Windows 10 suck at "just a moment" Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
TeamLiquid Team Shirt On Sale The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Ping To Win? Pings And Their…
TrAiDoS
momentary artworks from des…
tankgirl
from making sc maps to makin…
Husyelt
StarCraft improvement
iopq
Socialism Anyone?
GreenHorizons
Eight Anniversary as a TL…
Mizenhauer
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 724 users

Trouble with my girlfriend

Blogs > Temporarykid
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Temporarykid
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Canada362 Posts
July 31 2011 06:40 GMT
#1
Hey TL, I asked all of my friends and it seems nobody has an answer for me on what to do here.
Im new to blogging, but I hope you can help!

So im in a relationship with a beautiful girl who ive known for 4 years now,together only the past 6 months.
Now Im happy, don't get me wrong, but there's something that bothers me enough to wonder if this relationship is worth continuing.
Every time I talk to her I end up feeling mad because im undervalued and underappreciated. She'd rather go to a bbq with her friends than to a midnight firework show with me, to name one example.
I honestly feel like im putting my best foot forward; Im doing for her the best I can but its almost like she isn't as committed as I am. Clearly, my efforts aren't being noticed and are almost being taken for granted.

Now my question TL, is,
How do I fix my situation without breaking up with her- is a direct confrontation the only way?
Also, am I over reacting? Is this relationship even worth continuing.. Can I change the way I feel about how she treats me?
And lastly; is it worth it to be serious about this girl even though we've only been together for 6 months?

Thanks for your help, please no trolls!

****
ㅈㅈ
Geniuszerg
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada454 Posts
July 31 2011 06:45 GMT
#2
just have a talk with her and see why she acts the way she is, if she really doesn't want to be with you, its for the better you guys know where you stand with each other, and end on good terms.
i personally think you are overreacting a little bit, because although you are her boyfriend, she has other friends to hang out with, and everyone needs space, even if you are in a relationship, if you truely have feelings for her, but unsure, then talk to her, theres no harm in doing so, sure maybe you might break up, but if she lost all feelings for you, is it really worth it to continue a dead relationship? but hey, it could just be you being paranoid, and there was nothing for you to fret in the first place
JerKy
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Korea (South)3013 Posts
July 31 2011 06:50 GMT
#3
Well, first and foremost, you should have a talk with her and be direct about how you feel. Don't be aggressive or anything, but let her know how you feel about her (like how much you care about her), and the frustration you've recently felt.

Whether or not the relationship is something to continue with entirely depends on you; are the sacrifices you make worth being in a relationship with her?

Just remember, if there comes a time where there is more pain than happiness, its time to move on
You can type "StarCraft" with just your left hand.
Temporarykid
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Canada362 Posts
July 31 2011 06:52 GMT
#4
Yea im paranoid to begin with, and my low self esteem usually raises a lot of worry in myself. It makes it pretty tough to tell if her tone is mad at me or just uninterested.

In our conversations she rarely adds anything and suggests that I talk more because she has nothing to say but I dont know what to think of that.

If I did end up talking to her, Would it be wise to say that it's been bothering me? Or should I just approach pretending nothing is wrong and that im just curious?
It just worries me to think about how im going to ask her that because what if it makes her mad, that she thinks I dont trust her..?
ㅈㅈ
danzhang
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Canada184 Posts
July 31 2011 06:54 GMT
#5
This is a tough situation

but it will be fine i promise.
IMMVP
Reyis
Profile Joined August 2009
Pitcairn287 Posts
July 31 2011 07:03 GMT
#6
clearly, u need to do better in bed.
기적의 혁명가 김택용 화이팅~!!
MrBitter
Profile Joined January 2008
United States2940 Posts
July 31 2011 07:05 GMT
#7
Give her some space.

Chicks hate clingy, needy guys.

If its meant to be, backing off a little bit will fire her up a little, and make her all the more eager to spend time with you.

If not, fuck it. Move on.
TheFrankOne
Profile Joined December 2010
United States667 Posts
July 31 2011 07:08 GMT
#8
Maybe plan shit better? I have the same problem with my GF all the time, but its because I want to do something that night with all of an hour's notice as far as she's concerned. If shes planned to go to a bbq at her friend's for a week or two she tends to feel obligated to go hang out with her friends most of the time.

If she's going places without ever inviting you though you need to talk to her.
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
July 31 2011 07:21 GMT
#9
Do you fart a lot? That might be the problem.
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-31 07:26:47
July 31 2011 07:25 GMT
#10
There's a severe lack of details.

Do you engage in coitus with her?
How often do you already spend time with her?
What sort of activities did you guys do?
How serious do you view the relationship?
Has the time you spent together gone down since the beginning (if so, by how much)?

Off the bat, I think she's views the amount of dedication or input to this relationship differently from you. Meaning that she might not view it as serious as you do (with a heavy friend-like relationship of 4 years, this is to be expected). Maybe she translated this relationship as the same thing you guys had before, but with more interaction and physical engagement.

That's my thoughts off the bat, but it isn't fair or supported without the questions above answered.
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22254 Posts
July 31 2011 07:29 GMT
#11
On July 31 2011 16:05 MrBitter wrote:
Give her some space.

Chicks hate clingy, needy guys.

If its meant to be, backing off a little bit will fire her up a little, and make her all the more eager to spend time with you.

If not, fuck it. Move on.


Just to reinforce, this is the only good advice that has been given so far.
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
obesechicken13
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10467 Posts
July 31 2011 07:31 GMT
#12
Yay Girl Blog!

On July 31 2011 15:40 Temporarykid wrote:
Hey TL, I asked all of my friends and it seems nobody has an answer for me on what to do here.
Im new to blogging, but I hope you can help!

So im in a relationship with a beautiful girl who ive known for 4 years now,together only the past 6 months.
Now Im happy, don't get me wrong, but there's something that bothers me enough to wonder if this relationship is worth continuing.
Every time I talk to her I end up feeling mad because im undervalued and underappreciated. She'd rather go to a bbq with her friends than to a midnight firework show with me, to name one example.
I honestly feel like im putting my best foot forward; Im doing for her the best I can but its almost like she isn't as committed as I am. Clearly, my efforts aren't being noticed and are almost being taken for granted.

Now my question TL, is,
How do I fix my situation without breaking up with her- is a direct confrontation the only way?
Also, am I over reacting? Is this relationship even worth continuing.. Can I change the way I feel about how she treats me?
And lastly; is it worth it to be serious about this girl even though we've only been together for 6 months?

Thanks for your help, please no trolls!

Whether you want to relationship to continue is clearly up to you. Different people have different expectations for relationships.

I personally don't see what's wrong with wanting to go with friends to a BBQ, maybe she planned that before your fireworks night out. As long as you're not seeing her too infrequently, I think you just need to accept that she will not be able to spend all of her time with you. She will want to spend some of it with her friends. Same for you no?

1cent.
I think in our modern age technology has evolved to become more addictive. The things that don't give us pleasure aren't used as much. Work was never meant to be fun, but doing it makes us happier in the long run.
BenKen
Profile Joined August 2009
United States860 Posts
July 31 2011 07:33 GMT
#13
On July 31 2011 15:52 Temporarykid wrote:
Yea im paranoid to begin with, and my low self esteem usually raises a lot of worry in myself. It makes it pretty tough to tell if her tone is mad at me or just uninterested.


It seems like you're kinda putting her up on a pedastal and she knows it and takes you for granted. For example, a BBQ is a social event where it is completely normal and easy to bring a BF/GF along, it's kinda weird that she wouldn't want to bring you.

Girls can sense low self esteem from a mile away. It sounds like you need to work on your self esteem issues first. Think about it, you can't expect someone else to think highly of you when you don't think highly of yourself.

Confront her directly if you must, but I don't think it will go well.

GL though, don't worry we've all been where you are man. I'll let the girl blog gosus take over from here
I deadlift for Aiur
RedJustice
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States1004 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-31 07:36:07
July 31 2011 07:34 GMT
#14
10 simple steps to handle it like an adult:

1. State you want to talk about something that's been bothering you.
2. Choose an appropriate setting to talk where you cannot be interrupted or distracted by others.
3. State your feelings for her.
4. State what's been bothering you.
5. Give concrete examples and explain your interpretations of the events as they happened.
6. Listen to what she has to say about it with an open mind. (remember most fights and unhappiness in relationship comes from miscommunication and misunderstanding)
7. Restate her interpretation in your own words to make sure you understand what she said (if you are wrong, repeat the last two steps til you are right).
8. Tell her how you are hoping to fix the problem.
9. Repeat steps 6 and 7.
10. Profit??? (mutual agreement on a resolution)
Kickboxer
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Slovenia1308 Posts
July 31 2011 08:31 GMT
#15
The nicer & needier you are the worse you will be treated by women.

Fact of life.
SarR
Profile Joined June 2011
476 Posts
July 31 2011 08:33 GMT
#16
On July 31 2011 16:05 MrBitter wrote:
Give her some space.

Chicks hate clingy, needy guys.

If its meant to be, backing off a little bit will fire her up a little, and make her all the more eager to spend time with you.

If not, fuck it. Move on.

I agree with this assessment.
BretZ
Profile Joined May 2011
United States1510 Posts
July 31 2011 08:43 GMT
#17
On July 31 2011 16:05 MrBitter wrote:
Give her some space.

Chicks hate clingy, needy guys.

If its meant to be, backing off a little bit will fire her up a little, and make her all the more eager to spend time with you.

If not, fuck it. Move on.


Best advice. Also, don't get too sucked up into pleasing her, make sure you're staying un-stressed and feeling good, so you get rid of any clingy, needy feelings. Love is bit of a mind game ^-^
Kickboxer
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Slovenia1308 Posts
July 31 2011 08:57 GMT
#18
On July 31 2011 16:34 RedJustice wrote:
10 simple steps to handle it like an adult:

1. State you want to talk about something that's been bothering you.
2. Choose an appropriate setting to talk where you cannot be interrupted or distracted by others.
3. State your feelings for her.
4. State what's been bothering you.
5. Give concrete examples and explain your interpretations of the events as they happened.
6. Listen to what she has to say about it with an open mind. (remember most fights and unhappiness in relationship comes from miscommunication and misunderstanding)
7. Restate her interpretation in your own words to make sure you understand what she said (if you are wrong, repeat the last two steps til you are right).
8. Tell her how you are hoping to fix the problem.
9. Repeat steps 6 and 7.
10. Profit??? (mutual agreement on a resolution)


I'm sorry but when dealing with girls this is terrible advice and will only get you dumped or housebroken. When women are in charge of a relationship, as is the case with OP, the only possible way to fix it or swing the tide in your favor is to ignore them and act independent and carefree until they show some interest.

Stating your (obvious) feelings when you are the underdog = being needy = being uninteresting.
me_viet
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Australia1350 Posts
July 31 2011 09:01 GMT
#19
play more starcraft =]
FFGenerations
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
7088 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-31 09:12:45
July 31 2011 09:11 GMT
#20
yeah it does sound like shes not as into you as she could be
i would reflect on yourself (the way you act) a bit and try to be more masculine in general
for starters, when she does something you dont like (ANYTHING) you need to express that , quite loudly and very clearly. she will appreciate that you done that whether she liked it or not. she absolutely wants a man expressing his negative feelings and not holding back, intead of being wishy-washy and non-confrontational and letting her walk over him. (something which women tend to do and do it proudly - you just gotta accept that haha)
its better to have an arguement and come to some sort of conclusion and clear the air , than to just mouse around the issue when you're clearly uncomfortable with it.
better for you, and better for her opinion of you (oh he manned up and said what i thought he'd been thinking - thats a start!)

source - told this by a woman last night coz i have that conflict-avoiding issue myself
Cool BW Music Vid - youtube.com/watch?v=W54nlqJ-Nx8 ~~~~~ ᕤ OYSTERS ᕤ CLAMS ᕤ AND ᕤ CUCKOLDS ᕤ ~~~~~~ ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ PUNCH HIM ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ
1 2 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
FEL
09:00
Cracow 2025
Clem vs Krystianer
uThermal vs SKillousLIVE!
Reynor vs MaNa
Lambo vs Gerald
RotterdaM1659
ComeBackTV 1564
IndyStarCraft 532
WardiTV215
CranKy Ducklings194
Rex146
3DClanTV 102
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
RotterdaM 1659
IndyStarCraft 532
Rex 146
BRAT_OK 59
ProTech58
MindelVK 23
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 49310
Horang2 8159
Hyuk 2091
EffOrt 1563
Barracks 1070
BeSt 800
Larva 714
Mini 597
Hyun 506
firebathero 488
[ Show more ]
Rush 434
Stork 410
Last 272
Soulkey 259
Dewaltoss 68
Shine 59
Sharp 56
Shinee 48
sorry 45
Free 41
sSak 41
Movie 40
Sea.KH 38
sas.Sziky 33
zelot 19
Icarus 14
yabsab 13
ajuk12(nOOB) 11
Terrorterran 9
Dota 2
qojqva2597
XcaliburYe640
Counter-Strike
sgares244
oskar167
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor259
Other Games
B2W.Neo1757
Beastyqt817
Hui .287
DeMusliM217
Fuzer 169
QueenE39
Organizations
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 16 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH341
• tFFMrPink 15
• intothetv
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• sooper7s
• Migwel
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
StarCraft: Brood War
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• C_a_k_e 3998
• WagamamaTV855
League of Legends
• Nemesis2613
• Jankos1381
Upcoming Events
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
1h 14m
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
5h 14m
Bonyth vs Zhanhun
Dewalt vs Mihu
Hawk vs Sziky
Sziky vs QiaoGege
Mihu vs Hawk
Zhanhun vs Dewalt
Fengzi vs Bonyth
Sparkling Tuna Cup
1d 21h
WardiTV European League
2 days
Online Event
2 days
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
3 days
The PondCast
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
Korean StarCraft League
5 days
CranKy Ducklings
5 days
[ Show More ]
Sparkling Tuna Cup
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

CSLPRO Last Chance 2025
Esports World Cup 2025
Murky Cup #2

Ongoing

Copa Latinoamericana 4
Jiahua Invitational
BSL 20 Non-Korean Championship
BSL 20 Team Wars
FEL Cracov 2025
CC Div. A S7
Underdog Cup #2
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 7
IEM Dallas 2025
PGL Astana 2025
Asian Champions League '25

Upcoming

ASL Season 20: Qualifier #1
ASL Season 20: Qualifier #2
ASL Season 20
CSLPRO Chat StarLAN 3
BSL Season 21
RSL Revival: Season 2
Maestros of the Game
SEL Season 2 Championship
WardiTV Summer 2025
uThermal 2v2 Main Event
HCC Europe
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.