EPTPart I: Preparation
This is the absolute most important part of being an artist. The number one rule that all true ballers know is that you should have NO PREPERATION. It must be 100% spontaneous. Absolutly not like this guy.
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![[image loading]](http://www.centralpark.com/usr/photos/large/e0/painting-central-park.jpg)
Look at this dumbfuck. Going out into the middle of a park with paint and shit? Who the hell does he think he is? This is the problem with America.
I'll tell you when to really draw. Let's say that you're in the middle of Biology class, the teacher is talking about some pointless bull, and you are bored out of your god damned mind, wondering if a jump from the 5th floor window would be enough to kill you. This is exactly what you want. At this point, you are so out of it that you won't even realize that your hands are making amazing works of art. In fact, my first set of drawing were sitting in my binder for weeks before I realized that they were there.
If you happen to not be lucky enough to want to blow your own brains out from boredom several times a day, then it will be rough for you. I would suggest paying someone to pour ice cold water on to your face while sleeping and punch you in balls repeatedly until you finish at least 5 drawings.
Part II: Inspiration
If a lack of preparation is 50% of becoming a ballin'-ass artist, than inspiration is 49%. This part requires little explanation. Just draw what you feel in your heart. If you're heart is one of a baller's, than you shall be successful.
If you are having trouble finding inspiration, you may wish to assume this stance until something comes to you. I have spent years perfecting this technique, so use it well. (Note: that isn't me in that picture, it is one of my many disciples.)
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![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/ESHRA.jpg)
Part III: Drawing
This is easily the least important part. The problem with modern art is that everything spends time working on every little thing, trying to draw everything perfect and use fancy pencils and techniques. Fuck that. Real men use gut instinct.
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![[image loading]](http://www.modcrafters.com/images/concepts/starcraft_units/jack/ultralisk.jpg)
Look at this god-awful picture. This guy obviously has no direction in life.
Now some of you may still not understand what to do, so I'll go through it step by step, using my baneling pic as an example.
1. Let's start with square one.
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![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/xe8r1.jpg)
Or should I say circle 1? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOOLLOLOLOLOLOOLOLLOLO
(Baller points of you know what thats from)
Why a circle? What other f'ing shape is as freaking awesome as a god damn circle? The circle is the true shape of the baller (if you notice, the ball in baller is circular).
2. If you've made it this far, then don't worry, you're almost done. The circle takes many years to master, so I congratulate you on your progress. But now what? How about ANOTHA MOTHER FUCKING CIRCLE
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![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/zad4t.jpg)
I bet you didn't see that shit coming.
You should also throw in a few lines for the legs
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![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/CuJbU.jpg)
3. Now this drawing is already good enough to get you laid every night for the next twenty years, but how do you make it as good one that I would make?
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![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/WttZc.jpg)
Just look at that. Take a few minutes to soak it all in. As you stare into the soul soulless depths of this baneling's eyes, you realize why he's smiling. He's relishing in the thought of running right up to you and killing himself in a violent eruption of acidic poison, melting the flesh off your bones as you writhe in pain watching everything and everyone you know and love burned alive around you. Or maybe he just wants to cuddle.
Part IV: Extreme Baller Status
Now just upload your art to the internet for the world to marvel in awe at. You will momentarily receive your official baller status badge and prize money, as well as more hot bitches than you can imagine. If this doesn't happen, its because you just suck.
Well I've said all I can say. Hopefully in a few years, some of you will be able obtain 1 or 2% of my awesomeness. In the mean time, just keep making girl blogs.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/OmUGp.png)
