Well,after that "childhood",till around 13 I was a crippled,intelligent male. Soon,I was going to be even more mature,as I was known as the serious guy. 13-16 was a really great time for me. New school, new people, another love(failed,as always) It was my chance. I always was talkative,charismatic,a bit funny I guess. I had no problem talking with people IN SCHOOL. During that time (and still) I am a freaking lobster living in its own pond. I lost my energy at least twice. That was a terrible time for me.
Now I am burnt out intelligent male, who does not know what he should do. I don't know who am I,I don't know who I should be. Those are problems everyone needs to overcome, there's one problem though:
I want to die.
Not now. Not tomorrow. I want to die in a fight. I want to defend something or someone. This, will be the only accepted death by me. I love Polish history and every man and woman who gave his own blood for my country. I shall not fail them,I shall not use things I did not fight for and disrespect them. The only thing I disrespect are politicians,who are ticks on unhealthy country of ours.
I don't know if I am Christian. If there's God,he probably is having fun someone else. Our world seems forgotten. People killing others for sake of it, homeless and poor trying to live in the world of hate, disrespect. Nobody cares, pardon, nobody cares for others. They do care for their family though.
I am tired of this.
The way world works the way my country runs.
I want CHANGE. I WILL fight for it if I get a chance. I changed too. I am only a shade of a human. I am not capable of loving. I am nearly not capable of caring. I am ALONE. I have no friends. I have couple of people I can tell everything I want, but they can't act at all, because they're too far. Internet buddies,yeah. Thanks. Probably saved me at least once, huh?
If things continue going like the now do,I will become a shade full of hatred. Probably need a Superman here,huh?
Now let me smile and carry on.
I know my English isn't good as it should be for this to be readable and I know that's not everything I wanted to write. Just ignore this blog or ask questions. Thanks.