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I'm a little confused. Did you give her the keys when she pulled into the lot? If not I would have gone back in and got another key.
Your plan was good, you just got a little unlucky. If your brother has a key I would borrow his to get it cut again, or just take it off the piece of wood and get a new one sometime.
However, since she obviously doesn't trust you with the key, the way to get your way is to bring up possible scenarios where not having a key would put you in a dire situation. Or if you're a manipulative kind of person every few days you have to wait outside come up with something bad that 'happened' that could have been averted if you'd only had a key. Something as simple as "I didn't feel well and couldn't get any medicine" might work.
Gaining her trust is probably the best long-term plan, but I don't think it's the path I would have taken.
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On June 09 2011 10:09 Probulous wrote:Wow, you guys seem a little wacky. When most people would take the normal route your house decides to drive on the pavement! If you could find the key in 15min why didn't you? Seems a hell of lot easier and cheaper than getting keys cut? Seems like you have trouble balancing risk/reward which is probably why your mum doubts your responsibility. As for the work thing, there are ways to prove your responsible without taking time away from study. This is especially true if your mother doesn't want you to.Have you asked your mum what she would consider responsible behaviour? I can't help but feel that your mother is just really frustrated with you which is why she lashed out. I mean if she has put processes in place to keep things under control and you circumvent them, then obviously she is going to be upset. She probably didn't take your stuff because that would achieve nothing. I'm sorry mate but this just seems to be a clasic case of teenage rebellion with no understanding of the consequences behind your actions. From what you have written there is nothing to suggest that you can be that responsible young adult that she feels you need to be before you can have your key. You have to show her you can be responsible, and the only way to do that is to find out what she deems being reponsible. Good luck with your finals! Edit: Show nested quote +On June 09 2011 08:49 Divinek wrote:
You were in the right and you're a kid man, don't worry about it too much. Sometimes you just gotta remind those parents that someday you'll be making decisions for them when they get old and senile. If parents behave too irrationally too often reality tends to hit them real hard when they realize their kids are never coming back after 18.
Sadly parents are allowed to be wrong and yet right, if only they were like a boss at work and actually paying us straight up for that privilege! I don't understand this point. How is he in the right? We don't know why she won't give him a key. She may have very good reasons. Hell we know he loses stuff, he managed to lose the key he wasn't supposed to take. Yes she may have over-reacted regarding the key cutting but surely this is out of frustration. If you specifically tell your child not to do something, then they go ahead and do it anyway, won't you be pissed? As for looking after them later in life, this guy is a teenager, he clearly is not acting reponsibly, he has his whole life to grow up and show some maturity. The whole point of setting boundaries is to teach children that you cannot always get what you want. You have to earn it. I would bet a bucket-load of E-Sports dollars that there is a specific reason why Mr Froadac is not allowed a house key.
Have you ever read one of Froadac's blogs before?
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Did she tell me not to cut a copy? no
She said I wouldn't be able to have a key at all, and my brother would have the only one.
It cost 4 bucks to cut the keys.
My mom says "you have to do the small things right consistently" to be responsible. One small screwup counteracts months of hard work.
If I try to say "what do you see as responsible, what must I do to be responsible" I just get a vague and ambiguous "what I say is responsible"
The specific reason is "I'm irresponsible and a compulsive liar"
And if we want to talk about boundaries
1) no sleepovers allowed
2) no parties allowed
3) 11:00 hard bedtime.
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Did you ever find out how you got caught? How did she know what you were doing?
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Dunno. Probably saw house key was gone and extrapolated.
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On June 09 2011 11:10 Froadac wrote:
Dunno. Probably saw house key was gone and extrapolated.
That's way too specific a conclusion. Unless you've threatened to make copies before I'm guessing she's tracking you somehow.
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I get 10:30 hard bedtime >.>
Also, I've learned to just shrug off stuff that makes other teans go mad lol. Then I laugh to myself and realize that they act worse than my Dad. Then I begin wondering how he was as a teen... then it gets weird lol.
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On June 09 2011 11:31 Zim23 wrote:Show nested quote +On June 09 2011 11:10 Froadac wrote:
Dunno. Probably saw house key was gone and extrapolated. That's way too specific a conclusion. Unless you've threatened to make copies before I'm guessing she's tracking you somehow.
I didn't have my phone. I'm pretty much untrackable imo.
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On June 09 2011 10:34 Meapak_Ziphh wrote:Show nested quote +On June 09 2011 10:09 Probulous wrote:Wow, you guys seem a little wacky. When most people would take the normal route your house decides to drive on the pavement! If you could find the key in 15min why didn't you? Seems a hell of lot easier and cheaper than getting keys cut? Seems like you have trouble balancing risk/reward which is probably why your mum doubts your responsibility. As for the work thing, there are ways to prove your responsible without taking time away from study. This is especially true if your mother doesn't want you to.Have you asked your mum what she would consider responsible behaviour? I can't help but feel that your mother is just really frustrated with you which is why she lashed out. I mean if she has put processes in place to keep things under control and you circumvent them, then obviously she is going to be upset. She probably didn't take your stuff because that would achieve nothing. I'm sorry mate but this just seems to be a clasic case of teenage rebellion with no understanding of the consequences behind your actions. From what you have written there is nothing to suggest that you can be that responsible young adult that she feels you need to be before you can have your key. You have to show her you can be responsible, and the only way to do that is to find out what she deems being reponsible. Good luck with your finals! Edit: On June 09 2011 08:49 Divinek wrote:
You were in the right and you're a kid man, don't worry about it too much. Sometimes you just gotta remind those parents that someday you'll be making decisions for them when they get old and senile. If parents behave too irrationally too often reality tends to hit them real hard when they realize their kids are never coming back after 18.
Sadly parents are allowed to be wrong and yet right, if only they were like a boss at work and actually paying us straight up for that privilege! I don't understand this point. How is he in the right? We don't know why she won't give him a key. She may have very good reasons. Hell we know he loses stuff, he managed to lose the key he wasn't supposed to take. Yes she may have over-reacted regarding the key cutting but surely this is out of frustration. If you specifically tell your child not to do something, then they go ahead and do it anyway, won't you be pissed? As for looking after them later in life, this guy is a teenager, he clearly is not acting reponsibly, he has his whole life to grow up and show some maturity. The whole point of setting boundaries is to teach children that you cannot always get what you want. You have to earn it. I would bet a bucket-load of E-Sports dollars that there is a specific reason why Mr Froadac is not allowed a house key. Have you ever read one of Froadac's blogs before?
No, I haven't. I am just responding to this one. If the others give me some context then I guess I will give them a read.
On June 09 2011 10:39 Froadac wrote:
Did she tell me not to cut a copy? no
Do you really expect your mother to list the things you shouldn't do? How was she to know you would steal the other key, lose them and decide to take her keys and get them cut? That is like saying she should tell not to try and cut powerlines.
She said I wouldn't be able to have a key at all, and my brother would have the only one.
This sounds like sibling jealously to me. What difference does it make if your brother has one?
It cost 4 bucks to cut the keys.
Economically speaking this interesting. How long did it take you get the keys cut. If it was more than the 15min it would take to find the original key then getting them cut is more expensive regardless of the price.
My mom says "you have to do the small things right consistently" to be responsible. One small screwup counteracts months of hard work.
If I try to say "what do you see as responsible, what must I do to be responsible" I just get a vague and ambiguous "what I say is responsible"
Reading this, it sounds like she is frustrated. Doing small things consistently is being responsible. Consider if you had a job and occasionally didn't turn up. It is a small thing to be at work on time but it is a sign of being responsible. I seriously doubt it is one screw-up. Like I said previously there must be some reason she won't give you the key in the first place.
The specific reason is "I'm irresponsible and a compulsive liar"
Well are you?
And if we want to talk about boundaries
1) no sleepovers allowed
2) no parties allowed
3) 11:00 hard bedtime.
My house my rules. I am sorry that you don't like them but your mum is putting these in place for a reason. It is exactly the same as TL commandments. They are strictly moderated and some people can't handle them but they are there to keep order. If you are regularly breaking rules then there is little reason to be sympathetic to you.
Now if you have tried to make a deal with your mother for something specific and she refuses, that is a different question. For example, you want to have a sleep-over, what are you willing to do for it?
Having re-read what I have written, it may seem a little harsh. I don't want to upset you but this is simply what I see when I read the blog. Anyway, my essay is over. From what I read your mother deserves more respect, but hey I am some random guy on the internet.
Good luck with the finals.
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Have you ever thought of sending mail to Dr. Phil. Its a little extreme. But for one it'll make her an pulbic embarressment (which judging from your blogs, she has done that to you many times), and also she may auctally learn to be a better parent. Also dr. Phil might just let her have it.
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Dr.Phill? Please. He only has triple murder pedophile hermaphroditic mothers on his show.
So I guess you're like 16-17? It sucks. Living with your parents sucks. I'm 18, and from my own personal experience I would agree with myself in saying that 16-whenever the fuck you leave is the shitiest time to live with your parents. Dad is going through the mid-life crisis, mom is hitting menopause. It fucking sucks. My mum is just a shade less insane than yours. She made the last two weeks hell while I was looking for a job. Now that I have a job secured for the summer, shes yelling at me because I can't take a week off to go to my cousins wedding half way across the country. When I got the job, she yelled at me because I wasn't excited enough.
I guess both are parents our still clawing at whatever sort of solid control they can exert over our lives. Admittedly it was dumb to lose the key, but she should have treated you like an adult first and let you have a key. My heart goes out to you man. Living with melodramatic parents who cause loads of tension and arguments is a very shitty existence. It sounds like your parents are sending you away to college though, so at least there's that.
You could always move out. The concept of moving out at our age is a little strange to use middle class internet generation types. I'll just say that my dad moved out when he was 16, and he supported himself just fine without once having to go back to his parents for help. If it's really unbearable, man up, get a job at your local mcdonalds full time and get a small apartment down town. It can be done.
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Man your parents are insane! Do you have your own license? Can you legally work in your state? If I were you and I had both those things I would be outa there in a heartbeat.
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On June 09 2011 12:18 Probulous wrote:Show nested quote +On June 09 2011 10:34 Meapak_Ziphh wrote:On June 09 2011 10:09 Probulous wrote:Wow, you guys seem a little wacky. When most people would take the normal route your house decides to drive on the pavement! If you could find the key in 15min why didn't you? Seems a hell of lot easier and cheaper than getting keys cut? Seems like you have trouble balancing risk/reward which is probably why your mum doubts your responsibility. As for the work thing, there are ways to prove your responsible without taking time away from study. This is especially true if your mother doesn't want you to.Have you asked your mum what she would consider responsible behaviour? I can't help but feel that your mother is just really frustrated with you which is why she lashed out. I mean if she has put processes in place to keep things under control and you circumvent them, then obviously she is going to be upset. She probably didn't take your stuff because that would achieve nothing. I'm sorry mate but this just seems to be a clasic case of teenage rebellion with no understanding of the consequences behind your actions. From what you have written there is nothing to suggest that you can be that responsible young adult that she feels you need to be before you can have your key. You have to show her you can be responsible, and the only way to do that is to find out what she deems being reponsible. Good luck with your finals! Edit: On June 09 2011 08:49 Divinek wrote:
You were in the right and you're a kid man, don't worry about it too much. Sometimes you just gotta remind those parents that someday you'll be making decisions for them when they get old and senile. If parents behave too irrationally too often reality tends to hit them real hard when they realize their kids are never coming back after 18.
Sadly parents are allowed to be wrong and yet right, if only they were like a boss at work and actually paying us straight up for that privilege! I don't understand this point. How is he in the right? We don't know why she won't give him a key. She may have very good reasons. Hell we know he loses stuff, he managed to lose the key he wasn't supposed to take. Yes she may have over-reacted regarding the key cutting but surely this is out of frustration. If you specifically tell your child not to do something, then they go ahead and do it anyway, won't you be pissed? As for looking after them later in life, this guy is a teenager, he clearly is not acting reponsibly, he has his whole life to grow up and show some maturity. The whole point of setting boundaries is to teach children that you cannot always get what you want. You have to earn it. I would bet a bucket-load of E-Sports dollars that there is a specific reason why Mr Froadac is not allowed a house key. Have you ever read one of Froadac's blogs before? No, I haven't. I am just responding to this one. If the others give me some context then I guess I will give them a read. Do you really expect your mother to list the things you shouldn't do? How was she to know you would steal the other key, lose them and decide to take her keys and get them cut? That is like saying she should tell not to try and cut powerlines. Show nested quote +She said I wouldn't be able to have a key at all, and my brother would have the only one. This sounds like sibling jealously to me. What difference does it make if your brother has one? Economically speaking this interesting. How long did it take you get the keys cut. If it was more than the 15min it would take to find the original key then getting them cut is more expensive regardless of the price. Show nested quote +My mom says "you have to do the small things right consistently" to be responsible. One small screwup counteracts months of hard work.
If I try to say "what do you see as responsible, what must I do to be responsible" I just get a vague and ambiguous "what I say is responsible" Reading this, it sounds like she is frustrated. Doing small things consistently is being responsible. Consider if you had a job and occasionally didn't turn up. It is a small thing to be at work on time but it is a sign of being responsible. I seriously doubt it is one screw-up. Like I said previously there must be some reason she won't give you the key in the first place. Well are you? Show nested quote +And if we want to talk about boundaries
1) no sleepovers allowed
2) no parties allowed
3) 11:00 hard bedtime.
My house my rules. I am sorry that you don't like them but your mum is putting these in place for a reason. It is exactly the same as TL commandments. They are strictly moderated and some people can't handle them but they are there to keep order. If you are regularly breaking rules then there is little reason to be sympathetic to you. Now if you have tried to make a deal with your mother for something specific and she refuses, that is a different question. For example, you want to have a sleep-over, what are you willing to do for it? Having re-read what I have written, it may seem a little harsh. I don't want to upset you but this is simply what I see when I read the blog. Anyway, my essay is over. From what I read your mother deserves more respect, but hey I am some random guy on the internet. Good luck with the finals.
If you are ever finding yourself defending froadac's parents then you really need to go read more of his blogs.
They are bat-shit crazy.
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While your mom is a little loopy, I give her credit for figuring out where you went.
A year and three months before college, eh? Some parents become gradually worse until the big moving day. Sounds like you're hitting all sorts of nerves with her, so I'm guessing you're showing traits she doesn't like about herself...
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On June 09 2011 14:05 Comeh wrote:Show nested quote +On June 09 2011 12:18 Probulous wrote:On June 09 2011 10:34 Meapak_Ziphh wrote:On June 09 2011 10:09 Probulous wrote:Wow, you guys seem a little wacky. When most people would take the normal route your house decides to drive on the pavement! If you could find the key in 15min why didn't you? Seems a hell of lot easier and cheaper than getting keys cut? Seems like you have trouble balancing risk/reward which is probably why your mum doubts your responsibility. As for the work thing, there are ways to prove your responsible without taking time away from study. This is especially true if your mother doesn't want you to.Have you asked your mum what she would consider responsible behaviour? I can't help but feel that your mother is just really frustrated with you which is why she lashed out. I mean if she has put processes in place to keep things under control and you circumvent them, then obviously she is going to be upset. She probably didn't take your stuff because that would achieve nothing. I'm sorry mate but this just seems to be a clasic case of teenage rebellion with no understanding of the consequences behind your actions. From what you have written there is nothing to suggest that you can be that responsible young adult that she feels you need to be before you can have your key. You have to show her you can be responsible, and the only way to do that is to find out what she deems being reponsible. Good luck with your finals! Edit: On June 09 2011 08:49 Divinek wrote:
You were in the right and you're a kid man, don't worry about it too much. Sometimes you just gotta remind those parents that someday you'll be making decisions for them when they get old and senile. If parents behave too irrationally too often reality tends to hit them real hard when they realize their kids are never coming back after 18.
Sadly parents are allowed to be wrong and yet right, if only they were like a boss at work and actually paying us straight up for that privilege! I don't understand this point. How is he in the right? We don't know why she won't give him a key. She may have very good reasons. Hell we know he loses stuff, he managed to lose the key he wasn't supposed to take. Yes she may have over-reacted regarding the key cutting but surely this is out of frustration. If you specifically tell your child not to do something, then they go ahead and do it anyway, won't you be pissed? As for looking after them later in life, this guy is a teenager, he clearly is not acting reponsibly, he has his whole life to grow up and show some maturity. The whole point of setting boundaries is to teach children that you cannot always get what you want. You have to earn it. I would bet a bucket-load of E-Sports dollars that there is a specific reason why Mr Froadac is not allowed a house key. Have you ever read one of Froadac's blogs before? No, I haven't. I am just responding to this one. If the others give me some context then I guess I will give them a read. On June 09 2011 10:39 Froadac wrote:
Did she tell me not to cut a copy? no Do you really expect your mother to list the things you shouldn't do? How was she to know you would steal the other key, lose them and decide to take her keys and get them cut? That is like saying she should tell not to try and cut powerlines. She said I wouldn't be able to have a key at all, and my brother would have the only one. This sounds like sibling jealously to me. What difference does it make if your brother has one? It cost 4 bucks to cut the keys. Economically speaking this interesting. How long did it take you get the keys cut. If it was more than the 15min it would take to find the original key then getting them cut is more expensive regardless of the price. My mom says "you have to do the small things right consistently" to be responsible. One small screwup counteracts months of hard work.
If I try to say "what do you see as responsible, what must I do to be responsible" I just get a vague and ambiguous "what I say is responsible" Reading this, it sounds like she is frustrated. Doing small things consistently is being responsible. Consider if you had a job and occasionally didn't turn up. It is a small thing to be at work on time but it is a sign of being responsible. I seriously doubt it is one screw-up. Like I said previously there must be some reason she won't give you the key in the first place. The specific reason is "I'm irresponsible and a compulsive liar" Well are you? And if we want to talk about boundaries
1) no sleepovers allowed
2) no parties allowed
3) 11:00 hard bedtime.
My house my rules. I am sorry that you don't like them but your mum is putting these in place for a reason. It is exactly the same as TL commandments. They are strictly moderated and some people can't handle them but they are there to keep order. If you are regularly breaking rules then there is little reason to be sympathetic to you. Now if you have tried to make a deal with your mother for something specific and she refuses, that is a different question. For example, you want to have a sleep-over, what are you willing to do for it? Having re-read what I have written, it may seem a little harsh. I don't want to upset you but this is simply what I see when I read the blog. Anyway, my essay is over. From what I read your mother deserves more respect, but hey I am some random guy on the internet. Good luck with the finals. If you are ever finding yourself defending froadac's parents then you really need to go read more of his blogs. They are bat-shit crazy.
Wll then I guess I am wrong. I just can't help but see this as a whine blog. But since he is leaving shortly anyway, it doesn't really matter anyway.
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On June 09 2011 14:22 Probulous wrote:Show nested quote +On June 09 2011 14:05 Comeh wrote:On June 09 2011 12:18 Probulous wrote:On June 09 2011 10:34 Meapak_Ziphh wrote:On June 09 2011 10:09 Probulous wrote:Wow, you guys seem a little wacky. When most people would take the normal route your house decides to drive on the pavement! If you could find the key in 15min why didn't you? Seems a hell of lot easier and cheaper than getting keys cut? Seems like you have trouble balancing risk/reward which is probably why your mum doubts your responsibility. As for the work thing, there are ways to prove your responsible without taking time away from study. This is especially true if your mother doesn't want you to.Have you asked your mum what she would consider responsible behaviour? I can't help but feel that your mother is just really frustrated with you which is why she lashed out. I mean if she has put processes in place to keep things under control and you circumvent them, then obviously she is going to be upset. She probably didn't take your stuff because that would achieve nothing. I'm sorry mate but this just seems to be a clasic case of teenage rebellion with no understanding of the consequences behind your actions. From what you have written there is nothing to suggest that you can be that responsible young adult that she feels you need to be before you can have your key. You have to show her you can be responsible, and the only way to do that is to find out what she deems being reponsible. Good luck with your finals! Edit: On June 09 2011 08:49 Divinek wrote:
You were in the right and you're a kid man, don't worry about it too much. Sometimes you just gotta remind those parents that someday you'll be making decisions for them when they get old and senile. If parents behave too irrationally too often reality tends to hit them real hard when they realize their kids are never coming back after 18.
Sadly parents are allowed to be wrong and yet right, if only they were like a boss at work and actually paying us straight up for that privilege! I don't understand this point. How is he in the right? We don't know why she won't give him a key. She may have very good reasons. Hell we know he loses stuff, he managed to lose the key he wasn't supposed to take. Yes she may have over-reacted regarding the key cutting but surely this is out of frustration. If you specifically tell your child not to do something, then they go ahead and do it anyway, won't you be pissed? As for looking after them later in life, this guy is a teenager, he clearly is not acting reponsibly, he has his whole life to grow up and show some maturity. The whole point of setting boundaries is to teach children that you cannot always get what you want. You have to earn it. I would bet a bucket-load of E-Sports dollars that there is a specific reason why Mr Froadac is not allowed a house key. Have you ever read one of Froadac's blogs before? No, I haven't. I am just responding to this one. If the others give me some context then I guess I will give them a read. On June 09 2011 10:39 Froadac wrote:
Did she tell me not to cut a copy? no Do you really expect your mother to list the things you shouldn't do? How was she to know you would steal the other key, lose them and decide to take her keys and get them cut? That is like saying she should tell not to try and cut powerlines. She said I wouldn't be able to have a key at all, and my brother would have the only one. This sounds like sibling jealously to me. What difference does it make if your brother has one? It cost 4 bucks to cut the keys. Economically speaking this interesting. How long did it take you get the keys cut. If it was more than the 15min it would take to find the original key then getting them cut is more expensive regardless of the price. My mom says "you have to do the small things right consistently" to be responsible. One small screwup counteracts months of hard work.
If I try to say "what do you see as responsible, what must I do to be responsible" I just get a vague and ambiguous "what I say is responsible" Reading this, it sounds like she is frustrated. Doing small things consistently is being responsible. Consider if you had a job and occasionally didn't turn up. It is a small thing to be at work on time but it is a sign of being responsible. I seriously doubt it is one screw-up. Like I said previously there must be some reason she won't give you the key in the first place. The specific reason is "I'm irresponsible and a compulsive liar" Well are you? And if we want to talk about boundaries
1) no sleepovers allowed
2) no parties allowed
3) 11:00 hard bedtime.
My house my rules. I am sorry that you don't like them but your mum is putting these in place for a reason. It is exactly the same as TL commandments. They are strictly moderated and some people can't handle them but they are there to keep order. If you are regularly breaking rules then there is little reason to be sympathetic to you. Now if you have tried to make a deal with your mother for something specific and she refuses, that is a different question. For example, you want to have a sleep-over, what are you willing to do for it? Having re-read what I have written, it may seem a little harsh. I don't want to upset you but this is simply what I see when I read the blog. Anyway, my essay is over. From what I read your mother deserves more respect, but hey I am some random guy on the internet. Good luck with the finals. If you are ever finding yourself defending froadac's parents then you really need to go read more of his blogs. They are bat-shit crazy. Wll then I guess I am wrong. I just can't help but see this as a whine blog. But since he is leaving shortly anyway, it doesn't really matter anyway.
If you go read his blogs I promise your position will change.
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On June 09 2011 12:18 Probulous wrote:Show nested quote +On June 09 2011 10:34 Meapak_Ziphh wrote:On June 09 2011 10:09 Probulous wrote:Wow, you guys seem a little wacky. When most people would take the normal route your house decides to drive on the pavement! If you could find the key in 15min why didn't you? Seems a hell of lot easier and cheaper than getting keys cut? Seems like you have trouble balancing risk/reward which is probably why your mum doubts your responsibility. As for the work thing, there are ways to prove your responsible without taking time away from study. This is especially true if your mother doesn't want you to.Have you asked your mum what she would consider responsible behaviour? I can't help but feel that your mother is just really frustrated with you which is why she lashed out. I mean if she has put processes in place to keep things under control and you circumvent them, then obviously she is going to be upset. She probably didn't take your stuff because that would achieve nothing. I'm sorry mate but this just seems to be a clasic case of teenage rebellion with no understanding of the consequences behind your actions. From what you have written there is nothing to suggest that you can be that responsible young adult that she feels you need to be before you can have your key. You have to show her you can be responsible, and the only way to do that is to find out what she deems being reponsible. Good luck with your finals! Edit: On June 09 2011 08:49 Divinek wrote:
You were in the right and you're a kid man, don't worry about it too much. Sometimes you just gotta remind those parents that someday you'll be making decisions for them when they get old and senile. If parents behave too irrationally too often reality tends to hit them real hard when they realize their kids are never coming back after 18.
Sadly parents are allowed to be wrong and yet right, if only they were like a boss at work and actually paying us straight up for that privilege! I don't understand this point. How is he in the right? We don't know why she won't give him a key. She may have very good reasons. Hell we know he loses stuff, he managed to lose the key he wasn't supposed to take. Yes she may have over-reacted regarding the key cutting but surely this is out of frustration. If you specifically tell your child not to do something, then they go ahead and do it anyway, won't you be pissed? As for looking after them later in life, this guy is a teenager, he clearly is not acting reponsibly, he has his whole life to grow up and show some maturity. The whole point of setting boundaries is to teach children that you cannot always get what you want. You have to earn it. I would bet a bucket-load of E-Sports dollars that there is a specific reason why Mr Froadac is not allowed a house key. Have you ever read one of Froadac's blogs before? No, I haven't. I am just responding to this one. If the others give me some context then I guess I will give them a read. Do you really expect your mother to list the things you shouldn't do? How was she to know you would steal the other key, lose them and decide to take her keys and get them cut? That is like saying she should tell not to try and cut powerlines. This was sort of sarcastic on my part lol. Show nested quote +She said I wouldn't be able to have a key at all, and my brother would have the only one. This sounds like sibling jealously to me. What difference does it make if your brother has one? Basically point being I wouldn't be able to get into the house if she wasn't there, aka I waste 3 hours a day. Economically speaking this interesting. How long did it take you get the keys cut. If it was more than the 15min it would take to find the original key then getting them cut is more expensive regardless of the price. But if I stay in the house I get yelled at for a couple hours. I bike to osh and it takes 40 minutes. Show nested quote +My mom says "you have to do the small things right consistently" to be responsible. One small screwup counteracts months of hard work.
If I try to say "what do you see as responsible, what must I do to be responsible" I just get a vague and ambiguous "what I say is responsible" Reading this, it sounds like she is frustrated. Doing small things consistently is being responsible. Consider if you had a job and occasionally didn't turn up. It is a small thing to be at work on time but it is a sign of being responsible. I seriously doubt it is one screw-up. Like I said previously there must be some reason she won't give you the key in the first place. Well are you? When I was 8 I was. She can't get that out of her head. Show nested quote +And if we want to talk about boundaries
1) no sleepovers allowed
2) no parties allowed
3) 11:00 hard bedtime.
My house my rules. I am sorry that you don't like them but your mum is putting these in place for a reason. It is exactly the same as TL commandments. They are strictly moderated and some people can't handle them but they are there to keep order. If you are regularly breaking rules then there is little reason to be sympathetic to you. I haven't broken any of those rules. (Well, bedtime for projects...) Now if you have tried to make a deal with your mother for something specific and she refuses, that is a different question. For example, you want to have a sleep-over, what are you willing to do for it? It's non-negotiable. "Be better/more mature" is the response. Having re-read what I have written, it may seem a little harsh. I don't want to upset you but this is simply what I see when I read the blog. Anyway, my essay is over. From what I read your mother deserves more respect, but hey I am some random guy on the internet. Understandable, there is certainly a fair bit of truth in what you say, although I disagree with most of it ^^ Good luck with the finals.
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Wow, feel sorry for you. Things will change once you start being able to make some of your own money.
I am a bloody airhead, lost and forgot all sorts of items all over the place and the only reason I don't do it as often anymore is because I force myself to double/triple check. I still sometimes trip cause I don't pay attention where I walk, occasionally forget stuff, forget when someone calls but meh, it's just who I am, could probably get some meds but I tend to forget about it every time I think about going to a doctor.
Yet I still had a key around my neck since I was 6 (home from school at noon, parents home after 5, needed some way to get in/out of the house), keys get lost but you do kind of need them. Keychain is way better than backyard or loose. Point is you can't become responsible unless you have responsibilities. I did well at school (like really really well, helped with getting the freedom to do what I wanted while awake so didn't have party/going out restrictions and only got in trouble for drinking once, but I did overdo it that night), I learned to check for stuff so I don't forget, I learned to take responsibility when I fuck up and eventually ended up as close to normal as I was ever going to get :D
But oh my it was a difficult road to get my parents to trust me, think I got punished some way or another at least once a week. My mom still doesn't think I'm mature enough and I'm 28 and own my own place and a job, I suppose it's because I refuse to find a gf and/or get married ...
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Thats pretty messed up =/
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Sorry I'm not one of the TL'ers who will automatically agree with the blogger
You are definitely not ready for college...I can't believe someone whose about to graduate highschool can't even hold the mundane task of keeping track of a key, all you have to do is put it in your pocket... I was given a key when I was in 3rd or 4th grade...I don't believe I ever lost it either.
Your mother is probably right for punishing you like a child as well. I've never heard of someone about to enter adulthood and life on their own (maybe not financially but emotionally) who is still being punished by parents taking things away from their room.
I really think you have some serious thinking to do about your maturity level and the stage of life that you are at. If my parents spoke to me like a child when I was going into to college I would of sat them down and had a conversation about how I'm not a child anymore and they need to respect the decisions I make in life whether they are correct or not because at the end of the day it's my life and not theirs. I don't think that's something you are either capable of or ready to do.
Gl bro
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EPT
