Parent Rage Blog Special Edition - Page 4

Froadac

United States6733 Posts

June 09 2011 22:06 GMT

#61

On June 10 2011 02:21 VTArlock wrote:
Sorry I'm not one of the TL'ers who will automatically agree with the blogger

You are definitely not ready for college...I can't believe someone whose about to graduate highschool can't even hold the mundane task of keeping track of a key, all you have to do is put it in your pocket... I was given a key when I was in 3rd or 4th grade...I don't believe I ever lost it either.

Your mother is probably right for punishing you like a child as well. I've never heard of someone about to enter adulthood and life on their own (maybe not financially but emotionally) who is still being punished by parents taking things away from their room.

I really think you have some serious thinking to do about your maturity level and the stage of life that you are at. If my parents spoke to me like a child when I was going into to college I would of sat them down and had a conversation about how I'm not a child anymore and they need to respect the decisions I make in life whether they are correct or not because at the end of the day it's my life and not theirs. I don't think that's something you are either capable of or ready to do.

Gl bro

1) I'm a junior
2) I put it in my pocket, it fell out when I was looking in a cabinet to get myself something to eat for lunch.
3)Non sequiter Because my mom treats me poorly, I am deserving of poor treatment?
4) I tried to open up that conversation. Their argument is "but your poor decisions affect us" So what exactly should I do?

Not trying to be combative, but those are my thoughts.

brian

United States9644 Posts

June 09 2011 23:11 GMT

#62

yeah im with you. ive proven myself to my parents time and time again, held a job since i was 14, did very well in school, kept summer jobs, behaved like an angel as a kid, graduated college with a 3.4 while working. im still treated like a child it's absurd.

your poor decisions do affect them, your argument being simply how severely or insignificantly. but i wouldnt touch that one either you just can't win. i know from experience.

blah_blah

346 Posts

June 09 2011 23:40 GMT

#63

OP, you definitely need to move out when college starts, for the sake of your sanity. At best your mother sounds controlling and irrational; at worst, mentally ill.

When I was a little bit older than you, I used to argue with my mom a lot, and we had a really bad relationship. I'm not blaming this all on my mom; while I also think she was fairly irrational a lot of the time, I was definitely frustrating to deal with, and I was frustrated about living at home and took it out on other people. Eventually they told me to move out, which I honestly thought was the best thing to do at the time. This was shortly before I turned 20.

After I moved out (and into residence), things got a lot better -- I wasn't chafing under the rules of my parents, I was enjoying life more and meeting lots of new people, and my relationship with my mom got a lot better as a result. It forced me to learn to be more responsible and how to be an adult. I went on to buy a condo shortly before I turned 23, and now I live on my own in the center of one of the best cities in the world. I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't very responsible when I lived at home. A lot of it was that I wanted to do things on my time -- for example, I'm extremely fussy about keeping my place clean, but I do it on my time. I might go on a cleaning spree at 2AM, for example. At home, my parents expected that I do what they wanted when they wanted, which I chafed at.

But honestly, being an adult, contributing member of society, is easy.These are my 'responsibilities' as an adult:

1) Do work (in my case, be a graduate student).
2) Get paid (automatically deposited in my bank account)
3) Pay my mortgage (automatically deducted from my bank account)
4) Pay my strata fees (automatically deducted from my bank account)
5) Pay my homeowner's insurance (automatically deducted from my bank account)
6) Pay property taxes (twice a year, takes about 5 minutes)
7) Pay federal/provincial taxes (once a year, takes about two hours)
8) Pay my TV/internet (automatically charged to my credit card)
9) Pay my cellphone bill (once a month, takes 5 minutes)
10) Pay my hydro bill (once every two months, takes 5 minutes)
11) Buy groceries (once a week, takes an hour or so)

There are other things, like cooking, and cleaning, which you should do but don't technically have to when you live on your own; they take a few hours a week in total. But as you can see, the amount of time it takes me to fulfill my adult responsibilities (besides working) is pretty much negligible. Obviously it's expensive to live on your own, and it requires some adjustment to work a full-time job, but as a high-achieving student you're probably working hard all the time anyways, and putting in more than 40 hour weeks anyways. The difficulty of transitioning to adulthood is overrated.

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