Need desperate help! [Girl Blog] - Page 6

On June 22 2011 05:51 ILOVEKITTENS wrote:
Where to begin? First of all, you do not need TL's help, or my help for that matter. But you asked for it, so I guess I will give it to you.

You're a gym-goer, so is she (probably). You two are hardbodies. Refer to the following reasons why you two are already on the same page:

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-oOtGlDcv4
  
  Mac: I'm never going to admit that, Carmen. But come on, him? What do you see in this guy? Look at my body compared to his. I'm a hard body, you're a hard body. We could be hard bodies together.
  
• She is into video games, and so are you. She appreciates the Lambda. This is like two nerds with Lambda Lambda Lambda shirts meeting at the mall. It was destiny.
  
• You are both capable of saying "Hello," to each other. Although, technically, she could be doing it just because of her job. Let's ignore that for now.
  

The glances you are picking up on can mean nothing or everything, but sitting at home and thinking about it won't get you any closer to resolution. Exchanging greetings and doing nothing after that also doesn't. I suggest you approach this in the only sensible manner, an under-used technique that has been passed down through the ages - I call it "Conversation." Before you start popping Tylenols to control your blood pressure, RELAX. The only reason that this "Conversation" might seem overwhelming in your mind is because subconsciously you think that you are putting all your money on one chip in roulette, closing your eyes, and hoping you hit gold. This is the wrong mentality. Seduction isn't gambling, or all-ining in StarCraft. Seduction is an elegant dance of words and gestures.

So, let me re-iterate. This one conversation you are mandated (by me) to have with this girl is not the be-all-end-all chat of your life. The guillotine will not be dropped depending on your performance, your testicles will still be there (allbeit a little more full of sperm... or not, depending on your steroid use), and even if you just come off as some boring geek who has no tact, the worst thing that can happen is that you are left where you started. She won't hate you, you won't be socially mocked and ostracized due to your lack of tact. You have to INTENTIONALLY do something OFFENSIVE to get to that point. So, where's all this pressure coming from?

It's coming from you. By telling yourself you have low confidence and low experience with women, you believe that you are somehow WORSE OFF than every other guy in the world. Spoiler alert: everyone starts off as a noob. You have to grind through the initial shortcomings you face with determination, until you've learned enough to make solid progress. Be confident in the fact that to make a positive impression on her, all you have to do is have one conversation with her in which she doesn't blow her brains out or slap you afterwards. I think even someone with self-professed lack of confidence can pull that off. I have faith in you. I have confidence in you.

At this point, you don't even know if she is single, what her likes and dislikes are (besides N64 and HL), or who she fucking is in general. Those are your first priorities.

Conversation is like an essay, in the sense that it has to flow logically from a to b. However, if you think ahead, you will be able to guide the conversation in the direction you want. For example:

1. Talk about the gym/working out, whether she enjoys it or not (this is a very normal conversation openner in her life, will be totally under the radar)

2. Ask her what ELSE she likes to do when she's not working there, maybe branch off of her previous comments about gaming ("I was playing my friends N64 the other day and remembered you mentioning it, what was your favorite game? Oh, that's a good one, personally I prefer xxxxx because of yyyyyy, have you ever tried it?")
*note: no one wants to be interrogated. but everyone wants to talk about themselves. so balance your personal input with hers, but at the same time you should be the one gently guiding the conversation. your goal is to know her better by the end of it, and for her to know you better.

3. After discussing both of your hobbies, try to figure out what would be a good first thing for you two to do together or at least something that gets you closer to that. If you both like drinking, go to a bar. If you both like videogames, bring her a video game next time and tell her to try it out. The possibilities are endless. Basically, do something that will involve you two with each other more than just customer and customer service representative.
*note: it's her job to keep you company at the smoothie bar or whatever, but it's also her job to serve other people. don't drag on for too long. say something "I'll stop boring you and let you serve your other customers, I think that guy is in dire need of protein" or something similar if you feel like you have been holding her up. pick the conversation back up next time you see she is free. if you see that she is busy, don't start trying to hold a conversation with her, you will just annoy her, wait for a better time or day. if you are feeling bold and your conversation up until this has been good, say something like "I can tell you're busy so I don't want to hold you up, but I would love to talk to you more when you're free to talk. When do you get off work?"

4. Use this as a foundation for the next conversation you have with her. Just passing by and saying "hello," is still okay (you don't want to be a nag, in the event that she isn't yet interested in you, and you just try to talk to her every day... don't do that). But, once in a while, sit down and have a chat with her. It will be much easier after you do it once, with purpose! The first time, you were clearly caught off-guard.

I recommend you do this ASAP, since it's already been a while since you guys had a talk. She's probably written you off as uninterested, non-issue, in her mind. Time to show some interest in her. And remember:


Good luck. LIFTING FIGHTING!