EPT
How I met my wife and why we got married- Part 2
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
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Ilikestarcraft
Korea (South)17734 Posts
 Also the hanja in ilsan for the il isn't the one for the number one(한일一) but is the one for day (날일日). I remember that because I used to live in ilsan and for the longest time thought that it meant one mountain. | ||
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 21 2011 05:06 Ilikestarcraft wrote: like reading your blogs Also the hanja in ilsan for the il isn't the one for the number one but means day 날일日. I remember that because I used to live in ilsan and for the longest time thought that it meant one mountain. Really? hehe, I'm gonna check that, cause there are more than 1 mountains in islan too keke. ^^ | ||
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Kalingingsong
Canada633 Posts
Now you need to understand this one point, in Korea, we don't mix with different social classes, and the criteria for this is so minuet, so tiny, so inconsequently and so, when you see a Korean drama where an uber rich guy marries some beautiful poor girl that works in his company that he owns THAT NEVER EVER FUCKING EVER WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN EVER. That rich dude, doesn't even know that that beautiful poor girl exists cause when he takes the elevator, the staff don't join him and he ain't at the office working all day and taking phone calls, no he at the Grand Hyatt having lunch and gonna take a flight to Jeju to do some golfing. And vise versa for the ladies as well. So my point was that while there maybe a lot of gold diggers out there in the world, these gold diggers in Korea would never ever get the time of day or have the social network to even run into a really well off guy. So in the same way, the girls that I was meeting, their parents are CEO of this or that company or are doctors, professors, lawyers etc. So it wasn't like for 1 second they thought that they needed to impress me, rather, that I needed to impress them. But since I'm not a golddigger either, its just blah... hmm, any thoughts as to why the society turned out like this? | ||
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Tipany
United States368 Posts
I skipped to the middle when I decided that I NEEDED to read the whole thing, so I went back and read Part 1. With 100% candor, I hope everything works out for the best in the end.  | ||
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 21 2011 05:20 Kalingingsong wrote: hmm, any thoughts as to why the society turned out like this? couple of thoughts. 1. basically in the modern era after the 88 Olympics, much of the class system of the Joseon dynasty basically became irrelevant as there was this ungodly amount of mass of wealth made via gangnam real estate and chaebol companies really turning up the exports in all sectors. So there became a class system based purely on wealth with the chaebols on top and the new wealthy who had been lucky to buy the right plots of land in gangnam when it was just farm land or who bought the new houses in the areas and could sell it for 1000% of its value then rode the real estate boom and flipped more properties on top of that. A class system has been inherent part of Korean society in one form or another since the Shilla kingdom and thats plus 2000 years ago. Just because we are not as focused on the old class system doesn't mean that a new one hasn't formed. But the huge amount of insta wealth that occurred in such a short period of it totally changed the expression of classes. 2. the rapid industrialization in such a short period of time and in such a concentrated area (Seoul) has bred uber competitiveness, because there is no middle class identity. No one is proud to be middle class, everyone is trying to get out of being middle class because the signs of wealth are so apparent and obvious that it seems as though if you do x y z, then you as well can achieve the wealth that surrounds you. In america, the very rich areas are vastly separated from the very poor areas, someone in the ghettos will likely not even know a single road in a very rich neighborhood and even middle class people may never go into those neighborhoods, but in Korea, you run into celebrities and rich people all the time around you; today coming down from the mountain, we saw of of Korea's top directors, I didn't know who he was, but my wife and sister-in-law, were like, wow, its so and so. But the point is the rich are not far removed from sight. Now becoming chaebol rich is uber tough, near impossible, but going to a top school and becoming a professional is possible, so its this constant state of competition and comparing. Couple this with this new class system based on wealth, with no formal guidelines, then you have this very materialistic uber competitive society system where only when everyone is of the same 'level' is there this relaxation of the strain of being competitive/comparing. But only if you are in the same level, if you below it, you strive to get in or go back down, if you are above it, you can't hang out with them because you set their envy aflame. It's not easy living in Korea. The ones outside this class system is probably the Christian population to some degree, but then they substitute the class system from simply associating with only other Christians. | ||
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 21 2011 05:38 TheJoyBringer wrote: Brilliant. I skipped to the middle when I decided that I NEEDED to read the whole thing, so I went back and read Part 1. With 100% candor, I hope everything works out for the best in the end. Thanks, much appreciated. ^^ | ||
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ninini
Sweden1204 Posts
I hope I can remember this valuable knowledge when it's time for me to get married. | ||
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n.DieJokes
United States3443 Posts
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fanta[Rn]
Japan2465 Posts
later on after we dated more, she told me she thought that my taste was way too conservative and was going to end the date there when we bought the ties lol! hahaha, brillaint : D Your wife is amazing, I can't believe how supportive she is. You gotta do it man! | ||
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Hynda
Sweden2226 Posts
On February 21 2011 04:38 MightyAtom wrote: The kind of woman you marry is the kind that will always do 3 things : 1. Always support you in public 2. Believe in you as a man who can provide for the family 3. Not put her personal need to want to be with you in front of your ambition and/or the family I find it amazing just how different the cultures of this world can be. For me and the majority of my countrymen all those things you mention would be considered weak points for anyone you'd marry here. Someone that would always support you in public would be seen as dull and with no opinions of her own. Someone that would believe in the man providing for the family would be seen as unambitious and lazy, for many men a woman that can't provide for herself is unacceptable. Someone that didn't voice her opinion if she felt the man is working to much and would need him to spend more time with her during some difficult time or more commonly the children would be seen as a very flat, whipped and unindependant woman. And ofcourse there is no right or wrong here, I can respect most cultures virtues but it's fun to see how completly opposite some of them are. | ||
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Slayer91
Ireland23335 Posts
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lungo
Denmark276 Posts
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dahornnn
United Kingdom395 Posts
gl with companies! | ||
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mooose
Japan200 Posts
I hope your companies do well | ||
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MarCoon
Germany493 Posts
Are we gonna see part3 soon? | ||
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vlaric
United States412 Posts
actually, just love all your blogs in general. best of luck to you and your family on your business venture as well! On February 21 2011 04:38 MightyAtom wrote: <The Marrying Kind> Megan is the kind of woman you marry and not the woman you date. Boys, there is a difference. If you are dating the kind of woman you will marry, then good for you, but if you are dating the kind of woman you only be dating, then do the right thing, don't marry her. Now I'm not talking about marrying a virgin or good girl verse some girl who likes to party or whatever, that is just stupid shit. The kind of woman you marry is the kind that will always do 3 things : 1. Always support you in public 2. Believe in you as a man who can provide for the family 3. Not put her personal need to want to be with you in front of your ambition and/or the family Of course, this is just my view as a Korean man, but of course part of what makes this work as well is as a Korean man you work your freaking ass off and do whatever you can to provide the highest standard of living you can for your wife and family. And of course as humans there are limits. when i was reading through this part, i remember my Korean friend giving me almost the exact same talk about the differences between the two types of girls (his brother has been dating the 'marrying kind' for awhile now). is this common knowledge for relationships in Korean society? i was just wondering because the dialogues were so similar. | ||
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mizU
United States12125 Posts
Nice writing. This gives a different sense of Korea that I've been wanting to explore. Thanks for writing.<3 | ||
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Juliette
United States6003 Posts
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29 fps
United States5725 Posts
will there be a part 3? | ||
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doihy
668 Posts
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mel_ee
2448 Posts
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
Sounds like you have a great partner | ||
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
@n.DieJokes: You are a wise and insightful man on both accounts @fanta[Rn]: thanks, I have no choice but to do it, but honestly every reply I get strengthes my resolve *^^ @Hynda : Agreed, will respond to your quote with separate reply. @Slayer91,lungo,dahornnn,mooose,MarCoon, Juliette: not baller yet, broke ass mofo is closer to the reality right now...but I will be baller when I sponsor a TSL as the 'MightyAtom TSL', then trust me, I will have lost any attempt at humility at that point in time. @vlaric: among non-pussy Korean men, common knowledge ^^ @mizU: visiting Korea and living in Korea are 2 totally different things, its more on the bad side here to live here, but there ain't no place like home @29 fps: ^^ No part 3, Daddy's got to bring home the bacon and work like a mofo (its why I haven't posted for a while now) @doihy: related to gaming, TL.net is this kinda badge of me of 'baller nerd' legitmacy, so I try to keep things separate from my actual act of business and here. @mel_ee: I think that's very true about ilsan, I wouldn't say extremely rich, but pretty well off, but definately a lot of relocations from Gangnam. @thedeadhaji: I do have as perfect as a Korean wife can be, definately married above my 'station'. ^^ | ||
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 21 2011 06:40 Hynda wrote: I find it amazing just how different the cultures of this world can be. For me and the majority of my countrymen all those things you mention would be considered weak points for anyone you'd marry here. Someone that would always support you in public would be seen as dull and with no opinions of her own. Someone that would believe in the man providing for the family would be seen as unambitious and lazy, for many men a woman that can't provide for herself is unacceptable. Someone that didn't voice her opinion if she felt the man is working to much and would need him to spend more time with her during some difficult time or more commonly the children would be seen as a very flat, whipped and unindependant woman. And ofcourse there is no right or wrong here, I can respect most cultures virtues but it's fun to see how completly opposite some of them are. Korean women are fiery women, but very good points as I know a bit about the Scandinavian culture (only been to Denmark though), but in the context of Korea it does make more sense too. Men need to command a certain level of respect in public, the easiest way this gets shot down is having a wife that argues with you in public or sides with others in an argument. Having a discussion is one thing and having your own opinion, trust me, my wife has her own opinion; but in a social situation where a conflict occurs, there is no room for your wife to be reasonable other than standing by your side and then yelling at you when you get home. Scandinavia area actually is probably the most equal rights place for women and maybe in some cases women have more personal power. But you guys work from 9-5; I guess the biggest thing is working in Korea is extremely difficult, even women who work at Samsung or a major firm want to quit and even the men do too, and money issues are always close to the surface. The working conditions are horrible here, even if you work from 7pm to 6pm, and even if not all the working time is productive, it is just such a wear on you. So, Korean women realize that being a house wife is a luxury nowadays, but whether they work or not, they need to allow the man the respect to be a provider or else the marriage will fall apart because the wife will constantly nag the man for more money, better job, thus giving the man a great deal of extra frustration. Korean women are passionate and romantic, they love to have time alone with their man and for some women they are very demanding about it. But a man needs to focus and a woman has to give the man space to focus. When I mean Korean women are passionate and romantic, its not a matter of being clingy, but rather, they want to simply spend as much quality time with you as possible and feel special too. Maybe we are society of egoists, but if you want to charm a Korean girl from Korea, its very simple. Just tell her every day how beautiful she is (but if she is really hot, tell her that she is really disgusting to look at as she probably will enjoy the joke more). Its that simple. So, when you need to work late, go drinking with your company people, then your wife has to let you go rather than hold you an emotional hostage because at the end of they day, of course you'd rather be with her than at the company drinking party. But I also have to say, when I was in Denmark for business and I talked with the guys there, they thought living in Korea would be heaven because the women were too tough in Denmark ^^ | ||
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beetlelisk
Poland2276 Posts
I hope your business becomes steady fast so you both don't have to endure hardships related to it. You have an amazing wife and it's amazing you could find her when the it takes so much to get married in a standard way. Great insight into Korean society, you have my double 5/5 | ||
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
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Klogon
MURICA15980 Posts
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haduken
Australia8267 Posts
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Rekrul
Korea (South)17174 Posts
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 21 2011 20:49 Rekrul wrote: I really wish you went into more detail about the night walk we took. I would have except that it involves the one who will not be named and this was a tribute to my wife ^^ | ||
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kakaman
United States1576 Posts
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 21 2011 23:50 kakaman wrote: Great blog, it really hits close to home in my relationship history. I'm Chinese, but the girls are very similar in nature to Korean girls (I've had experiences with both). I also am from a relatively well off background with a good education and good job, so the people I interact with are of similar nature. The problem is, I don't like to spend money, I don't like to show off, I don't like to give gifts for every single superficial anniversary (V day, 100 day, white day, etc). I've tried to branch out and look at girls from "lower" statuses, to hope to find a girl who would care less about the superficial stuff in the world. In your experience, do you know of friends who have succeeded? Or is it pretty much a lost cost for me? In Korea, we spend money on the women, never dutch, buy gifts etc, I'd say if you went out of your socio-economic class, they may have lower expectations, but then you might be getting suckered with a gold digger. For me its an acceptable and reasonable cost to make your woman feel good (especially if her friends are getting gifts as well), but if you are looking for a less superficial way to have relationship then Canadian, Australian and New Zealand women are very down to earth as long as they aren't Asian. I'd say, if you know your woman isn't a gold digger and this is the level of materialism that she is use to and you trust her and love her, then make her happy and spend the coin; but a really classy lady really won't care about all the little gifts and anniversaries if you buy her big ticket gifts that dwarf the other gifts like a piano, fur coat, rolex or channel bag or something like that. | ||
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Ciryandor
United States3735 Posts
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