EPTParent rage ^2 (just a rant) - Page 2
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kaisr
Canada715 Posts
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Magic_Mike
United States542 Posts
Also you should be grateful that she is allowing you to live there. Make sure you let her know how much you appreciate that. I have two kids and I can tell you from experience that it is very difficult on an emotional level to take care of people with little or no reward. And if you honestly think you suffer from depression, remember that it is sometime hereditary. She could be experiencing the same pain as you and just like you, she may not be able to express it. Remember that no matter what happens and how she is acting toward you, she loves you very much. | ||
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MiraKul
Malaysia498 Posts
On February 18 2011 01:10 BasilPesto wrote: Dayumn son. If you can get access to a counsellor, then I would highly recommend it. It's another avenue to get feelings off your chest, and also to explore possible routes out of your situation. Stay resilient though, your mother obviously has her fair share of issues, if not more. It's definitely a tough situation when you're in a state of dependency, so I can only ask that you keep on battling through, until you can achieve independence. +1 agree with the counsellor. Would be better if u can get ur mom to ur counsellor too ;D God bless you man. Be strong there. | ||
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kaisr
Canada715 Posts
On February 18 2011 02:35 Magic_Mike wrote: You'll understand when you have kids. I guess that's all I can say. If the key was your responsibility to keep I can understand why she would be upset about you losing it. If this is the worst your parents rant and rave at you consider yourself pretty lucky. The vast majority of us (at least all the people I know) have went through similar if not worse. It's not the end of the world man. Try to see things from her point of view. No doubt she loves you very much and just like most parents they want their children to succeed in life. When you give them a task (keeping track of the key) and they fail in that task you feel as a parent that you are a failure and sometimes you lash out. It doesn't mean that she hates you or wants you to move out or anything. She is just frustrated and doesn't know how to deal with it. Talk to her when the both of you have calmed down and when I say talk, I don't mean throw accusations at her about how awful a parent she is. Admit your own fault in the incident before moving on in the conversation. Also you should be grateful that she is allowing you to live there. Make sure you let her know how much you appreciate that. I have two kids and I can tell you from experience that it is very difficult on an emotional level to take care of people with little or no reward. And if you honestly think you suffer from depression, remember that it is sometime hereditary. She could be experiencing the same pain as you and just like you, she may not be able to express it. Remember that no matter what happens and how she is acting toward you, she loves you very much. from what he blogs about, I'd have to disagree. He has tried many different methods of talking to her at many different times, and it seems to just result in her blowing up no matter what. I cannot make any judgments on whether or not she loves him, but from what he has described, she seems extremely narcissistic and enjoys putting him down to elevate her own status. That said I obviously have no idea what the real situation is, but it just seems to me if she is having such a detrimental effect on your well-being and happiness, the only solution is to move out and cut contact until either one of you changes. | ||
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Treemonkeys
United States2082 Posts
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guN-viCe
United States687 Posts
I know that seems crazy in itself, as you are depressed due to your mom's antics. You just need to realize that she is not in control of herself all the time. Something is wrong inside her head, it is not your fault. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You sound like an amazing person and son. I can only suggest that you either battle your parents yourself with your words/will/actions, and if that doesn't work, seek outside help. | ||
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Haiy
Germany32 Posts
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Thrill
2599 Posts
You'll build a new life once there. Also, you should consider yourself lucky to some degree - you have a formative trauma. Most of us in this spoiled generation don't. You're gonna want the opposite of what your mom ended up with. Friends, a big loving family, colleagues who respect and admire you and most important - kids who love you and who feel your support. It's easier to get things when you want them. If you don't really want anything - you'll just drift. If nothing seems important enough to care about - if nothing spurs the emotion you show in these posts - you wouldn't be better off. You can look at your "successful" friends who did something, laugh at their petty "accomplishments" in their chosen fields. In the end though, all you ever were was the guy could do everything and therefor chose to do nothing. The ability to do anything & everything, a gift bestowed on you entirely from your parents - socially, genetically or both. Time to make a choice. Do you want to curse the gift for its origin or use it to save yourself? -- Look at it this way: a malevolent ruler oppresses his people and make them work for him with no pay beyond necessary upkeep costs. His son who made many friends among the workers growing up inherits the throne. What should the heir do? Give up the throne to the workers and dump the hoarded fortune in their lap? That would most likely result in the rise of another dictator. No, the heir should face the demons of the past - build a democratic society from the ground up, educate the people and provide for them the ground works of a stable future - "give the man a fish / teach him how to fish" etc. Now you may not be responsible for a whole kingdom here, but you're responsible for the future of at least one man - yourself. You have to make sure your resentment towards your roots doesn't cloud your knowledge. You've been given a great gift - knowledge is the most powerful thing in our world and you have the ability to absorb and interpret it. You mustn't shun your gift, regardless of its origin - it is your power and as Sean and indeed Ben Parker would say - with it comes great responsibility. It doesn't matter what college you go to - in fact it would probably do you good not to go to whatever prestigious institution you currently 'think' you want to attend. What matters is that you go, that you leave home and start building something new, a solid foundation for yourself to stand on. You can't live their [her] life - not even their [her] dream life. You can only live for yourself and that starts with the road to college. | ||
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Assault_1
Canada1950 Posts
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Froadac
United States6733 Posts
On February 18 2011 03:28 Assault_1 wrote: your signature does not support your blog's argument Hahaha. It's sort of a joke. Mom is like 54 I'm a Junior in HS, and I Think she'd just totally freak out if I tried to leave to cool off or anything. It's a tough situation. I'm thinking a bit more clearly now that it's morning, but I"M sitll not entirely sure what to do about it. At school break atm on itouch, so I'll post back in a few hours or w/e. I will be seeing a counselor tomorrow though, says my dad. Also I"m only a junior, so it's probably not a great idea to separate ties. fja; oweitu map | ||
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ptbl
United States6074 Posts
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awu25
United States2003 Posts
but did everyone miss the fact that the key went missing and the blogger didn't really care about it? i know it's unlikely but what if someone stole it from the porch and was going to break into your house yes she's overreacting but there are always two sides to a story and we're only hearing your side of it | ||
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Joementum
787 Posts
On February 18 2011 04:05 awu25 wrote: sure she flipped out on you when she didn't really have to but did everyone miss the fact that the key went missing and the blogger didn't really care about it? i know it's unlikely but what if someone stole it from the porch and was going to break into your house yes she's overreacting but there are always two sides to a story and we're only hearing your side of it It's $20 to change a damn lock. Does a key really warrant all that yelling, or any yelling for that matter? Mistakes happen. People aren't perfect. Shit gets lost. That's how the world goes. | ||
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awu25
United States2003 Posts
On February 18 2011 04:27 Joementum wrote: It's $20 to change a damn lock. Does a key really warrant all that yelling, or any yelling for that matter? Mistakes happen. People aren't perfect. Shit gets lost. That's how the world goes. i'm not saying it didn't warrant all that yelling but yes i would be a bit pissed if my son lost a key and didn't bother looking for it or bother telling me it's not about the money, it's about the principle of responsibility he wasn't trusted to carry the key around and yet it somehow still gets lost yes the mom is a crazy psycho but the blogger should've taken the initiative to go look for it or tell his mom | ||
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Grebliv
Iceland800 Posts
On February 18 2011 04:38 awu25 wrote: i'm not saying it didn't warrant all that yelling but yes i would be a bit pissed if my son lost a key and didn't bother looking for it or bother telling me it's not about the money, it's about the principle of responsibility he wasn't trusted to carry the key around and yet it somehow still gets lost yes the mom is a crazy psycho but the blogger should've taken the initiative to go look for it or tell his mom I'd think it'd be both a lot easier and a lot worse to lose a key if you're forced to hide it outside your house. You can keep picking up keys off the street all day long and never get inside anywhere. It's a bit harder if you don't even know if the owner lost it within 10minutes from his house rather than if it's blatantly hidden behind it. | ||
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Elryi
United States16 Posts
On February 18 2011 02:35 Magic_Mike wrote: You'll understand when you have kids. I guess that's all I can say. If the key was your responsibility to keep I can understand why she would be upset about you losing it. If this is the worst your parents rant and rave at you consider yourself pretty lucky. The vast majority of us (at least all the people I know) have went through similar if not worse. It's not the end of the world man. Try to see things from her point of view. No doubt she loves you very much and just like most parents they want their children to succeed in life. When you give them a task (keeping track of the key) and they fail in that task you feel as a parent that you are a failure and sometimes you lash out. It doesn't mean that she hates you or wants you to move out or anything. She is just frustrated and doesn't know how to deal with it. Talk to her when the both of you have calmed down and when I say talk, I don't mean throw accusations at her about how awful a parent she is. Admit your own fault in the incident before moving on in the conversation. Also you should be grateful that she is allowing you to live there. Make sure you let her know how much you appreciate that. I have two kids and I can tell you from experience that it is very difficult on an emotional level to take care of people with little or no reward. And if you honestly think you suffer from depression, remember that it is sometime hereditary. She could be experiencing the same pain as you and just like you, she may not be able to express it. Remember that no matter what happens and how she is acting toward you, she loves you very much. It's the other way around. She should be grateful. He didn't ask for any of this. And if theres no reward? THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE KIDS?! | ||
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pinke
United States56 Posts
On February 18 2011 02:35 Magic_Mike wrote:+ Show Spoiler + If the key was your responsibility to keep I can understand why she would be upset about you losing it. If this is the worst your parents rant and rave at you consider yourself pretty lucky. The vast majority of us (at least all the people I know) have went through similar if not worse. It's not the end of the world man. Try to see things from her point of view. No doubt she loves you very much and just like most parents they want their children to succeed in life. When you give them a task (keeping track of the key) and they fail in that task you feel as a parent that you are a failure and sometimes you lash out. It doesn't mean that she hates you or wants you to move out or anything. She is just frustrated and doesn't know how to deal with it. Talk to her when the both of you have calmed down and when I say talk, I don't mean throw accusations at her about how awful a parent she is. Admit your own fault in the incident before moving on in the conversation. Also you should be grateful that she is allowing you to live there. Make sure you let her know how much you appreciate that. I have two kids and I can tell you from experience that it is very difficult on an emotional level to take care of people with little or no reward. And if you honestly think you suffer from depression, remember that it is sometime hereditary. She could be experiencing the same pain as you and just like you, she may not be able to express it. Remember that no matter what happens and how she is acting toward you, she loves you very much. Did you even read his post? She wouldn't trust him with the responsibility of the key and made him leave it on the back porch to share it, and now who knows where it went? If it had been in his possession and truly been his responsibility he probably wouldn't have lost it. Of course parents lash out sometimes, but this happens far too often and far too extremely. He's still a kid, he's going to make mistakes, it's part of growing up and it's part of being a parent. He's also clearly tried to talk to her before, but she won't listen. He's tried to make her happy, but his priorities aren't hers and when he sucks it up and tries to live by her standards, she gets upset that he's faking it. She sits over his shoulder while he's online and listens in on his phone conversations? Are you really implying that that's okay for a teenage boy? If you have kids, please try to remember what it was like to be one. I honestly don't know what more you could realistically ask for of a son. You're a good person. I think your mom clearly has psychological issues, don't let anyone tell you this is your fault. You're just a kid and a perfectly normal one. If your mom can't handle the stresses of parenthood, and yeah, there's a lot, that's on her and it's really unfortunate that you have to suffer for it. If I were you, I'd immerse yourself in extracurriculars at school and put your focus on good grades and getting a scholarship and getting as far away as possible. | ||
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awu25
United States2003 Posts
On February 18 2011 05:11 Elryi wrote: It's the other way around. She should be grateful. He didn't ask for any of this. And if theres no reward? THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE KIDS?! dude wtf? sounds like someone isn't grateful for their parents if he didn't ask for any of this then he should go find his own house and get his own food and pay for anything himself | ||
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Aberu
United States968 Posts
I have listened to the recording to kinda hear how this goes on. She has severe psychological issues, you have the potential of developing them as well. Go to a psychologist if you can, try to move out if you can. Do you have a job? If not, try and get one, doesn't matter what it is, being out of the house longer could be good for you. Find a LAN center to go to for SC2 playing. Just stay out of the house, it's not healthy for you. Anytime I had problems with my dad, who I haven't talked to in years, I just would find something to do rather than engage in contact with him. Start working out, riding a bike, doing something physical too. | ||
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Pibacc
Canada545 Posts
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