2) Bulk of this blog. After realizing that I was quite stressed out over mostly pointless conflict I decided that I needed to have a serious discussion with my parents. I knew that most of the previous
I immediately started by going at the root of the problem: I thought that although they were certainly acting in good faith, their attempts were somewhat draconian, and they were creating tension which was focusing my attention, as well as theirs, towards argument as opposed to how the current condition could be improved. I gave my criteria for why I thought certain things were unfair. I took blame, saying that although I don't think they've handled things the best, I didn’t react as I should have to them.
I said that although it's reasonable to say that I won't get into Harvard, continually saying I won't get into San Jose state isn't exactly the best way to motivate me. I said that in order to compensate I’ve sometimes thought that I can do more than I am really truly capable of. I noted that their attempts to make me study more have turned into simply less sleep for me, although I certainly took blame for staying up later than I should have to play games, which were not at all necessary.
Numerous times throughout this discourse I was attacked for entirely unrelated issues, that had happened long ago, attacked for not agreeing on social issues, attacked for bringing up the fact that my brother's uneducated piano teacher makes more than my dad 3 years ago. But I just sat there, and said various comments such as "I understand how you feel, but the situation has changes since then..."
In the end it came down to the conclusion.
If I get all As, they will back off. They will not interfere. They say if I do that then whatever I'm doing, no matter how convoluted, is somewhat effective. They say if I follow their plan and do not do as well, then its ok, and if I don't follow their plan and don't do as well, that's much worse. But I'm confident in my ability to focus, work well, and do what I think is best. I will be working my hardest to get some of the restrictions removed, and so that I can do as well as possible in school for the rest of the year, and next year. Although my parents both questioned my ability to do this, laughing they'd even get 20/6 internet if I did. And then they promised to do it. o.o They are very confident I will not succeed. I will not give them the satisfaction lol.
Finally did MUN again. Got 2nd out of 34 groups. Not bad. For the second year in a row I’ve had an attractive partner who has been hit on a ton. Awkward when they think we're a couple. So awkward...