Hi Tl. I have this girl problem and am looking for advices or personal experience.
I'm a 19 year old Vietnamese, in civil engineering (which my parents really disapprove of) and I've been going out with a half Vietnamese half Cambodian girl for the past 10 months. I really like her and I can also say she's probably the best friend I've ever had in my life.
In September, she insisted I presented her to my parents. It seemed that it was really important for her that my parents knew about us. I was really not looking forward for it, because, beyond the fact they are stereotypical asian parents, my mom is pretty much considered crazy among my friends. In fact, I don't recall the last time I brought friends at home, and all my friends (asian or not) who talked to my mother are generally traumatized even though they thought I was exaggerating.
So one day, I introduced her to my parents at home, we talked, although it was super awkward, it was honestly better than I expected. my girlfriend left and my mom comes to me and say in jokingly matter (I thought) "Couldn't you bring back someone with whom I can speak Vietnamese to?". She said it with a smile, so I didn't bother with that comment.
I have to add here, that before that day, I had always lied to my parents about my whereabouts. When I would be at her place, I'd systematically always lie. Couple of weeks after they met, I started saying that I was going to see her. One day, my mom stops me before I leave and says "Are you guys still together? I didn't think you would last". Another time, "You know, I'd prefer you guys are only friends". Again, "You are in college, you don't have time for dating girls, don't see her this often." Then, when I was out with her once, she called and asked with who I was, I said only my girlfriend and then she said "Why didn't you invite other friends?". At this point I'm like -___- because I want to be alone with her? DUH.
When I come back I confront my parents. Why are you so opposed that I go out with her? I honestly thought you guys were fine with it when you guys met. Their answer really bothered me "Because she is not Vietnamese". I'm like O_O really? I knew you guys were conservative, but at this point... SHE'S FREAKEN HALF VIETNAMESE IF BLOOD WAS THE MATTER.
Fast forward couple of months, I got back to lying to my parents about where I am and with who. My girlfriend doesn't understand a thing, especially since her parents think I'm the best thing that happened to her. Now and then, my parents will ask me, are you still with her, and when I say yes, they sigh and are clearly disappointed.
I'm asking you, fellow tl-ers, is their reaction normal? Are all parents like this? They don't like their kids dating other nationalities? Am I doing something I will regret later in life, like they put it?
My cousin always said that my parents are frustrated persons and will always find a reason to be against me, like when they disapproved of me going into engineering.
Many asian parents are like this, ignore it and move on. You are living in Canada not China. Asian parents are always so afraid of being looked down upon because their sons are not #1, not maintaining asian tradition, blah blah blah. It's your life, and honestly, there is nothing wrong with what you are doing.
I can tell you that it's definitely not an uncommon problem, though religion is probably more likely to be a cause than nationality/race. I think it's very likely that some parents may not want someone of a different nationality. Is it a problem? I say maybe, it really depends whether or not you think they'll accept her eventually. It's possible, but not certain. Doing what you want regardless of your parents, while sometimes a good thing, could be something bad because you don't want bad relations with your parents.
Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend.
It's just narrow mindedness that occurs in a lot of oriental people. For the longest time, my parents would be unhappy with me going anywhere near black people and that's probably not the worst of it. It's no use reasoning with them since they think irrationally, so I just ignore everything they say.
On January 16 2011 12:05 Haemonculus wrote: Girl issues?
You've got parent issues, lol
Yes, I realised my title isn't appropriate after posting, sorry.
She didn't mean that as any type of a jab at the work you put into this thread... just pointing out an important perspective and showing that this isn't your fault.
If I were you I wouldn't let it bother me that your parents feel this way... you can't make them not want you to be with a girl of the bloodline they choose, but you CAN choose who you want to be with. If she likes you and her parents are supportive then that's more than enough reason to force your parents to deal with it, in my opinion.
You know your parents better than us and can better predict whether they will ever finally let this go or not, though.
I don't think its uncommon or exclusive to Asian parents. My mother tries to keep herself censored but I know she wants me to marry in the culture. I wouldn't worry about it, but listen and be respectful to your parents. If, like most relationships, it doesn't work out it'll be nice to have your parents support. If it does work out and this is the girl you want to marry/spend rest of your life with then make your stand Edit: Bad typing day
On January 16 2011 12:23 n.DieJokes wrote: I don't think its uncommon or exclusive to Asian parents. My mother tries to keep herself censored but I know she wants me to marry in the culture. I wouldn't worry about it, but listen and be respectful to your parents. If, like most relationships, it doesn't work out it'll be nice to have your parents support. If it does work out and this is the girl you want to marry/spend rest of your life with then make your stand Edit: Bad typing day
He's 19. Chances are he's not considering getting married.
But should your parent's racism ever really affect who you choose to date?
It's definitely not an uncommon problem. I think in the end you need to convince your parents to trust your judgment in people. They need to realize that the culture part is only a small factor.
I personally would find it boring to be with a girl with a shared culture. I already know enough about how families and girls in my culture behave. I'd rather find out about someone else's.
On January 16 2011 12:23 n.DieJokes wrote: I don't think its uncommon or exclusive to Asian parents. My mother tries to keep herself censored but I know she wants me to marry in the culture. I wouldn't worry about it, but listen and be respectful to your parents. If, like most relationships, it doesn't work out it'll be nice to have your parents support. If it does work out and this is the girl you want to marry/spend rest of your life with then make your stand Edit: Bad typing day
He's 19. Chances are he's not considering getting married.
But should your parent's racism ever really affect who you choose to date?
Since his parents are conservative chances are that dating someone automatically implies marriage in their head. Also, I don't think it's really racist. I don't think his parents mind him being with non-Vietnamese people. They'd rather just not have him date a non-Vietnamese (in their mind) girl.
Well, my mom would be happy with me dating anyone as long as they were between the ages of 15-40 and not a fellon. But my mom is white so probaly is irrelevent.
My dad, on the other hand, would disaprove of me dating a fat person. He just does not like them, which is awkward because I'm fat.
You will only regret it if you cut it off early (unless she gives you some kind of venerial desise, then you will definently regret it). Have fun
On January 16 2011 12:16 Haemonculus wrote: Last time i spoke with my mum about a boyfriend, she surprised me by asking quite awkwardly "so... Is he white?"
All parents are a bit weird.
It would be weird if they didn't care. I'm sure most parents are still not used to that.
I assume this sort of controlling interest in partners is quite common among immigrant families (as well as certain cultures in general), for the purpose of preserving who they are and to not be swallowed by, what is percieved to be, a foreign country. Having an iranian father, I can relate. My dad wouldn't have let me go outside if he thought I was seeing some boy (even iranian). Nor do my parents approve of my choice of profession (Biologist?! Could not possibly have picked anything worse!).
Really, just hang in there until you achieve financial independence, then you're completely free to make your own choices without having to deal with their comments or judgements. That's what I did, in any case.
Also, remember that you have no responsibility to please your parents, none at all; especially not when the only reason they're displeased in the first place is a result of their own prejuidice.
On January 16 2011 12:34 Froadac wrote: Why don't they want you in civil engineering?
Apparently, I'll never have a job, especially since the job is cyclic. Also, they say the salary (50k+ canadian $) is not a lot. They would rather see me become a dentist like my dad and have a 100k+ income. There is also the fact that, I think the title of doctor is somewhat prestigious for them.
Thanks a lot everyone, my mind is a lot clearer now, I really thought I was weird for not following what they said.
My parents don't care who I date as long as I am happy. That being said, my grandmother hates it if I date any non-white girls. I find that in our generation there are much fewer people with xenophobic attitudes when compared with the older generations. If she makes you happy then it doesn't matter what your parents say. If they really care about you they will eventually see that your girlfriend makes you happy and that they will have to accept her as she is.
Well I think if your parents aren't threatening to disown you its fine. Its normal for parents to be a little racist when it comes to these kinda things.
On January 16 2011 12:44 Wr3k wrote: My parents don't care who I date as long as I am happy. That being said, my grandmother hates it if I date any non-white girls. I find that in our generation there are much fewer people with xenophobic attitudes when compared with the older generations. If she makes you happy then it doesn't matter what your parents say. If they really care about you they will eventually see that your girlfriend makes you happy and that they will have to accept her as she is.
Haha, yeah my grandparents were wicked racist. My parents are much better, but still harbor a bit of their upbringing. They'd never admit it though, lol
Haven't read any of the responses, but I'm telling you this. You do not owe your parents FUCK ALL. They brought you into this world and it was their responsibility to give you everything they could, UNCONDITIONALLY. If they can't accept the fact that you date who you want to, they can go fuck themselves.
They do not own you, and they definitely don't have the right to tell you who you can or cannot date. A lot of parents don't seem to realize that they don't have the right to tell their children what they can or cannot do anymore.
And second of all, why do you care? It's your life, not theirs. My dad is butting into my life constantly, and I shut up because as of now I still live at home, but when I leave for university this autumn he can go fuck himself because I'm tired of his constant need to know everything about my life. He doesn't own me, even though that's what he thinks, and your parents do not own you.
On January 16 2011 12:34 Froadac wrote: Why don't they want you in civil engineering?
Apparently, I'll never have a job, especially since the job is cyclic. Also, they say the salary (50k+ canadian $) is not a lot. They would rather see me become a dentist like my dad and have a 100k+ income. There is also the fact that, I think the title of doctor is somewhat prestigious for them.
Thanks a lot everyone, my mind is a lot clearer now, I really thought I was weird for not following what they said.
Wow... there is nothing wrong with becoming a civil engineer. Your parents seem pretty unreasonable.
On January 16 2011 12:34 Froadac wrote: Why don't they want you in civil engineering?
Apparently, I'll never have a job, especially since the job is cyclic. Also, they say the salary (50k+ canadian $) is not a lot. They would rather see me become a dentist like my dad and have a 100k+ income. There is also the fact that, I think the title of doctor is somewhat prestigious for them.
Thanks a lot everyone, my mind is a lot clearer now, I really thought I was weird for not following what they said.
I don't want to be annoying and discourage you from what you like doing... but it's not the best career IMO. My dad is a civil engineer with a masters from vanderbilt. And he works for california, doesn't make that much, and finds it frustrating.
Essentially in the US (and I'm sure to a certain extent in Canada) there isn't much infrastructure being put into place. Just because of darn environmentalists etc. If you want to move to vietnam or something, it'd probably be a good job.
Essentially he doesn't like the job because you are dealing with politicians.
You can make more and actually do stuff in the private sector, but the jobs aren't terribly stable, and a lot of it is bilking the government.
My parents are Eastern European and they behave the same way in general. They are more concerned about me doing well in school than just about anything else. I think it may be any foreign parent's perception that their family has to succeed to prove they are more than worthy of living in a different community.
On January 16 2011 12:34 Froadac wrote: Why don't they want you in civil engineering?
Apparently, I'll never have a job, especially since the job is cyclic. Also, they say the salary (50k+ canadian $) is not a lot. They would rather see me become a dentist like my dad and have a 100k+ income. There is also the fact that, I think the title of doctor is somewhat prestigious for them.
Thanks a lot everyone, my mind is a lot clearer now, I really thought I was weird for not following what they said.
I don't want to be annoying and discourage you from what you like doing... but it's not the best career IMO. My dad is a civil engineer with a masters from vanderbilt. And he works for california, doesn't make that much, and finds it frustrating.
Essentially in the US (and I'm sure to a certain extent in Canada) there isn't much infrastructure being put into place. Just because of darn environmentalists etc. If you want to move to vietnam or something, it'd probably be a good job.
Essentially he doesn't like the job because you are dealing with politicians.
You can make more and actually do stuff in the private sector, but the jobs aren't terribly stable, and a lot of it is bilking the government.
I don't want to diverge of the main topic of this thread, but yeah this is pretty much the problem with civil engineering, BUT there will be a HUGE demand of engineers in Quebec when the recession will be over, which will hopefuly be by the time I graduate, especially if you consider the fact that 15% of engineers are retiring in the next 5-10 years.
Wow, I didn't know this problem was common. I thought it was oldschool stuff that you only see on shows like Degrassi... I guess that if most immigrant children have been dealing with this problem for years, it can't be that bad for me neither.
On January 16 2011 13:06 koreasilver wrote: I will never hear the end of "don't marry a Chinese woman" from my relatives. I've always dated Chinese girls except once.
I never had this problem (my ex fiance was mexican) even among my highly conservative grand parents. But to speak to your problem it IS your life. If you end up marrying this woman then who cares if your parents don't like her? You begin your own family and don't need your parents approval. Honestly if my family was sooo opposed to a girl I want to marry then its their loss for me not being around, and I really love and like my family. Its just your life, sure they can give opinions if there is some legit complaint but a pure race issue like that? Just say you don't see that as mattering at all and leave it at that.
It's not exclusive to Asian parents. Some parents just are that way. At the end of the day, a parent wants their child to be happier and more successful than they were. In doing so, they often lose sight of when their child is actually happy or successful, and have extreme ideologies as to what the route to happiness or success is.
You're an adult. Show this to your parents by following your heart, and not their demands. Show them you're mature enough to know what makes you happy without losing sight of college. When you send them a holiday card with you and your gf's picture and a recap about how well you in school last semester, they'll have to realize that you're happy and successful despite their prejudices.
On January 16 2011 13:13 Tinkerbelle wrote: It's not exclusive to Asian parents. Some parents just are that way. At the end of the day, a parent wants their child to be happier and more successful than they were. In doing so, they often lose sight of when their child is actually happy or successful, and have extreme ideologies as to what the route to happiness or success is.
You're an adult. Show this to your parents by following your heart, and not their demands. Show them you're mature enough to know what makes you happy without losing sight of college. When you send them a holiday card with you and your gf's picture and a recap about how well you in school last semester, they'll have to realize that you're happy and successful despite their prejudices.
Once they see that little kid in your hands they will instantly forget about everything. Just pop a baby out real quick and you're back with your family.
On January 16 2011 13:13 Tinkerbelle wrote: It's not exclusive to Asian parents. Some parents just are that way. At the end of the day, a parent wants their child to be happier and more successful than they were. In doing so, they often lose sight of when their child is actually happy or successful, and have extreme ideologies as to what the route to happiness or success is.
You're an adult. Show this to your parents by following your heart, and not their demands. Show them you're mature enough to know what makes you happy without losing sight of college. When you send them a holiday card with you and your gf's picture and a recap about how well you in school last semester, they'll have to realize that you're happy and successful despite their prejudices.
Once they see that little kid in your hands they will instantly forget about everything. Just pop a baby out real quick and you're back with your family.
LOL this made me laugh so hard! I don't even know if you're serious or not... If I bring a baby home with our current relationship, my parents are probably gonna bury me and the baby alive in the backyard
I think all parents are weird. Don't let your parents run your life. They are not the ones going to class and studying for you, so don't worry about it if they don't approve of your field of study. The same goes for the girl you're seeing. If your parents don't like it, tough shit.
On January 16 2011 13:28 emperorchampion wrote: You're in the best school in Canada, in the best program, AND you have a girlfriend... I see no problem :p
On January 16 2011 13:37 LazyMacro wrote: I think all parents are weird. Don't let your parents run your life. They are not the ones going to class and studying for you, so don't worry about it if they don't approve of your field of study. The same goes for the girl you're seeing. If your parents don't like it, tough shit.
This so much. You're a big boy now and you make your own decisions. I wouldn't say confront your parents/mom about their harsh attitudes towards your decisions in life, but maybe try talking it out a bit more. If they don't get that you're really into engineering and you're really into this girl, then they'll have to get over it later.
I think you have normal parents, i think they just want whats best for you, but also do think they should be more accepting of her ... being Indian i know your pain. good luck im sure things will work out.
On January 16 2011 12:23 n.DieJokes wrote: I don't think its uncommon or exclusive to Asian parents. My mother tries to keep herself censored but I know she wants me to marry in the culture. I wouldn't worry about it, but listen and be respectful to your parents. If, like most relationships, it doesn't work out it'll be nice to have your parents support. If it does work out and this is the girl you want to marry/spend rest of your life with then make your stand Edit: Bad typing day
He's 19. Chances are he's not considering getting married.
But should your parent's racism ever really affect who you choose to date?
No ofc not, those are just the two possible outcomes of the relationship and it's what his parents are afraid of.
And again, no ofc not I'm just saying he should be considerate of his parents wishes. Which is to say that he should be patient with his parents and continue to explain that he likes this girl and that he's sorry they disapprove even if he's repeating yourself
On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend.
This is insanely smart.
But anyways, my parents are extremely open-minded for the average Korean adult, but they'd still dislike it if I married someone non-Korean. They wouldn't forbid me from doing so, but they'd definitely show their disapproval. It's not that they oppose to mixed marriages themselves(I have a few mixed relatives) but it's just a lot harder in Korean society if you marry someone non-Korean. A lot of people will be judgmental on you, especially since Korean perspectives on the rest of Asia isn't that flattering for the most part.
On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend.
This is insanely smart.
But anyways, my parents are extremely open-minded for the average Korean adult, but they'd still dislike it if I married someone non-Korean. They wouldn't forbid me from doing so, but they'd definitely show their disapproval. It's not that they oppose to mixed marriages themselves(I have a few mixed relatives) but it's just a lot harder in Korean society if you marry someone non-Korean. A lot of people will be judgmental on you, especially since Korean perspectives on the rest of Asia isn't that flattering for the most part.
Really? I didn't know Koreans thought they were better than other asians. It might only be my family, but I have always sensed that most vietnameses think that asians that are not japanese, chinese, koreans or vietnamese are inferior. Just repeating, this is not MY opinion, but what I feel most of them think. and really this mindset really comes out of nowhere IMO.
On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend.
This is insanely smart.
But anyways, my parents are extremely open-minded for the average Korean adult, but they'd still dislike it if I married someone non-Korean. They wouldn't forbid me from doing so, but they'd definitely show their disapproval. It's not that they oppose to mixed marriages themselves(I have a few mixed relatives) but it's just a lot harder in Korean society if you marry someone non-Korean. A lot of people will be judgmental on you, especially since Korean perspectives on the rest of Asia isn't that flattering for the most part.
Really? I didn't know Koreans thought they were better than other asians. It might only be my family, but I have always sensed that most vietnameses think that asians that are not japanese, chinese, koreans or vietnamese are inferior. Just repeating, this is not MY opinion, but what I feel most of them think. and really this mindset really comes out of nowhere IMO.
lol so basicly they don't like laotians? Or are you saying that the middle east and india are "asian"
On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend.
This is insanely smart.
But anyways, my parents are extremely open-minded for the average Korean adult, but they'd still dislike it if I married someone non-Korean. They wouldn't forbid me from doing so, but they'd definitely show their disapproval. It's not that they oppose to mixed marriages themselves(I have a few mixed relatives) but it's just a lot harder in Korean society if you marry someone non-Korean. A lot of people will be judgmental on you, especially since Korean perspectives on the rest of Asia isn't that flattering for the most part.
Really? I didn't know Koreans thought they were better than other asians. It might only be my family, but I have always sensed that most vietnameses think that asians that are not japanese, chinese, koreans or vietnamese are inferior. Just repeating, this is not MY opinion, but what I feel most of them think. and really this mindset really comes out of nowhere IMO.
Koreans tend to feel that non-Korean/Japanese/Chinese Asians are inferior. Perceptions on China have changed dramatically, but a lot of people still don't think of them very favorably. And, due to bad history, Koreans tend to dislike Japan. It's especially odd since a lot of Koreans are into aspects of Japanese culture. This is mostly about the older generation but vestiges of these stereotypes still remain in the younger generation in varying intensity.
Mixed Asian marriages are especially a touchy subject. There are a lot of "mail order brides" in Korea,+ Show Spoiler [Wikipedia quote] +
Though South Korean men regularly marry Vietnamese and Thai women through dating agencies, the below focuses primarily on the trend with respect to Filipina women, and the recent reports of abuse by South Korean men. The London newspaper The Independent reports "Last year it was reported that more than 40,000 Vietnamese women have married South Korean men and migrated there." Cambodian women are also very popular with Korean men, but in March, 2010, the Cambodian government banned outright any marriages with South Korean men.
which hurts the perception of regular mixed marriages in Korea. Marrying a white person can be more "excusable" on a certain level, and marrying a black is suicide in Korean society.
On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend.
This is insanely smart.
But anyways, my parents are extremely open-minded for the average Korean adult, but they'd still dislike it if I married someone non-Korean. They wouldn't forbid me from doing so, but they'd definitely show their disapproval. It's not that they oppose to mixed marriages themselves(I have a few mixed relatives) but it's just a lot harder in Korean society if you marry someone non-Korean. A lot of people will be judgmental on you, especially since Korean perspectives on the rest of Asia isn't that flattering for the most part.
Really? I didn't know Koreans thought they were better than other asians. It might only be my family, but I have always sensed that most vietnameses think that asians that are not japanese, chinese, koreans or vietnamese are inferior. Just repeating, this is not MY opinion, but what I feel most of them think. and really this mindset really comes out of nowhere IMO.
lol so basicly they don't like laotians? Or are you saying that the middle east and india are "asian"
When I say Asian, I think I generally include india, but not middle east. And yeah, I think my parents aren't really fond of people not chinese/japenese/korean/vietnamese. It's not like they would openly hate you because you are laotian and not talk to you, but in their heads, they will feel superior.
Well you see, my parents don't like Cambodian, hence don't like my girlfriend, and my brother's girlfriend doesn't like the fact that her little sister goes out with a Filipino. Also my cousin goes out with a french I think, and my family is basicly outraged, but she used to go out with a Chinese, and everybody was pretty fine with it.
It's weird, because my mom liked her old chinese boyfriend, but this makes her argument that I shouldn't go out with a Cambodian because she doesn't speak Vietnamese invalid since if I were to go out with a Chinese girl, she would still not be able to communicate with her.
geez, writing this kind of stuff makes me realize how racist my parents are.
On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend.
my korean parents were like this too about my white girlfriend. my mom especially. she would say "i know you will only date her for 6 months and be done!" and it would really piss me off when she said that... but people started to tell my mom we looked really good together (her close friends) and we got past the 6 month mark. she finally accepted her and is actually really nice to her (gave her a coach purse!). just give it time and make sure she is very respectful. they'll realize love really has no boundaries if you guys are serious enough. unless your mom has no common sense and is a bit psycho (which i don't think she is), you'll be fine.
On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend.
This is insanely smart.
But anyways, my parents are extremely open-minded for the average Korean adult, but they'd still dislike it if I married someone non-Korean. They wouldn't forbid me from doing so, but they'd definitely show their disapproval. It's not that they oppose to mixed marriages themselves(I have a few mixed relatives) but it's just a lot harder in Korean society if you marry someone non-Korean. A lot of people will be judgmental on you, especially since Korean perspectives on the rest of Asia isn't that flattering for the most part.
Really? I didn't know Koreans thought they were better than other asians. It might only be my family, but I have always sensed that most vietnameses think that asians that are not japanese, chinese, koreans or vietnamese are inferior. Just repeating, this is not MY opinion, but what I feel most of them think. and really this mindset really comes out of nowhere IMO.
Eh...all asians think ones superior and inferior for sure. I'm vietnamese and my parents feel the same way that we're above the other south east asians which is whack. And I'd have to agree with yoonyoon on the korean part cause its true..japan and korea are wayy ahead in terms of development and china is following quickly rising. these 3 countries esp japan and korea put themselves on a high horse its in their blood or something aha. Anyways about your parents and the girlfriend bull. Its cause she has Cambodian blood most likely. We got a history with cambodians and your parents are probably just taking it with a grain of salt. My parents freaked out when they found out my sisters friend was cambodian thought that was her bf. I brought a khmer friend home once but it was all good its just the thought of their daughter or son dating one race they dislike I believe :D. Its the most probable thing I can think of though other than that she's just crazy. Anddd I wouldn't wanna date a vietnamese girl >< my viet sucks and in the past I hate havin to talk to my ex's gf and them holding you to a certain standard but it all falls apart when your viet sucks and you can't hold a conversation. Imma pass up on viet chicks get myself some else
Asians in North America seem to be more open minded in general towards inter-Asian relationships. There seems to be a hierarchy in terms of Asian superiority. For example, the big three are of course Japanese, Korean and Chinese. It seems like the more south the inferior you get -__- like Vietnamese seems to considered less. (Not a reflection of my opinions, just a general observation of others!)
I'm Chinese myself and my parents seem to not mind me dating other races (they're quite liberal, they have lived here quite a while) but I know they have a preference for Asians of course. I think my parents would like me to date a Chinese; one that speaks Cantonese (from Hong Kong) but they seems to also be OK with Japanese and Korean. IMO i don't think you should cater to your parent's preference for whom you date. I myself like Asians anyways(I just don't get attracted to non-Asians. Not a Asian supremacist or anything.), so I don't have a conflict with my parents.
Question: Do Asians in Asia have this hierarchy? In particular, how do Koreans look upon people of Chinese ethnicity? I'm asking because I'd like to maybe live/work in Korea when I graduate from university but I'm kinda afraid of being ostracized. All the stuff I find about foreigners in Korea are from the perspective of caucasians.
I think that you have to wait until you can leave your household and start your own family. you tried to confront her but it didnt go as well as you hoped but DO NOT LEAVE HER ! you are right, some Asian parents can be like this but this is too much. And do not lay to em you are not doing anything bad.
EPT
but DO NOT LEAVE HER ! you are right, some Asian parents can be like this but this is too much. And do not lay to em you are not doing anything bad. 
