|
Singapore285 Posts
Don't we all hate people who bitch about you behind your back? It's worse when they do it right in front of you:
I'll just describe a little back-story so it all makes sense. A girl and two of us guys are in what seems like a love triangle (I've already gone out with the girl, so yeah...), but its not that obvious to most people. Two of my friends notice that the other guy (lets call him C) is always trying to flirt with the girl (I won't call her my gf since it's still early). It is also pretty obvious that I'm getting close to her.
So there we were, my two "friends", the girl, some other friends, and myself, just chatting and chilling. For the whole night, the two of them had been giggling and whispering to each other. After a bit of alcohol, they got a louder and less politically correct (we're Chinese, so we don't say sensitive things so directly). They think they're real smart and shit, to know about our "love triangle", and they're curious who the girl prefers.
To test their theories, they subtly start talking about C (the other guy) and constantly ask questions about him, to get the girl's response. After a while, they change the topic and start talking about me (right in front of me), to elicit some responses from the girl again. Every time she says something, they laugh to themselves. This is one of those times you really feel like punching people up. Even a deaf person could hear what they were insinuating, but they think they are oh-so-clever talking about us while we remain fucking ignorant.
A few minutes later, C shows up. Why? Because the two "friends" called him to join us. And not so subtly this time, one of them says, "Oh, I think he came cause he missed someone." Again, they start giggling to each other, like the retards they are.
The thing is, we are all in this group of friends, and it's unfeasible to make enemies with "friends" who are also friends-of-friends. To be honest, I would really love to stab him in the back to appease my anger, but you kind TLers will probably discourage me from doing so (I hope!). So instead, I choose to rant here and maintain healthy relationships with everyone.
And just to clarify, I really just hate one of the two "friends", since the other is playing along mostly due to peer pressure. Mind you, this was not an isolated incident (or the influence of alcohol); he rudely mocked another friend of ours before on several occasions, and he didn't even bother to hide it.
TL;DR: Some people are despicable.
 
|
What you are describing are not "two faced" friends, you are describing immature douche bags, and it would be much better for you to not hang out with such people and save yourself a lot of anger/frustration.... From the sounds of it are you like in middle school or something? That was the last time I can remember anyone doing something like what you described the two guys doing.
|
That's fucked up.
I don't think it's a good idea to act out of anger. I think it is, however, a good idea to let them know exactly how the fuck you feel about it. Behaving like that is bullshit.
Edit for clarity: Don't rage at them while they're doing it. When you've collected your thoughts, decide how to handle it. Obviously they aren't your friends. Friends don't do that kind of shit.
|
Sounds like you're taking a passive-aggressive approach. Don't do that. Just tell them that you don't appreciate what they're doing that and stop being friends with them if they don't. I mean, sure, he can be a friend of a friend, but you don't have to get along with him.
|
On December 10 2010 07:11 LazyMacro wrote:
That's fucked up.
I don't think it's a good idea to act out of anger. I think it is, however, a good idea to let them know exactly how the fuck you feel about it. Behaving like that is bullshit.
This is pretty much the worst possible way to react to this sort of behavior. This is exactly what these guys want you to do, try to get a reaction out of you because they think its funny. Your best option is to ignore it completely to save yourself a lot of embarrassment.
*edit* at least not in the situation, afterwards when everyone has sobered up may be a better time, but the best thing to do is not associate yourself with them anymore
|
This is why i dont "try for girls" i invite girls out and stuff but thats all
if they want me so bad to date they can get to know me. but id never fight for a girl over friends. and if my friends do try that. they arnt my friends lol
|
On December 10 2010 07:14 Response wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2010 07:11 LazyMacro wrote:
That's fucked up.
I don't think it's a good idea to act out of anger. I think it is, however, a good idea to let them know exactly how the fuck you feel about it. Behaving like that is bullshit. This is pretty much the worst possible way to react to this sort of behavior. This is exactly what these guys want you to do, try to get a reaction out of you because they think its funny. Your best option is to ignore it completely to save yourself a lot of embarrassment. *edit* at least not in the situation, afterwards when everyone has sobered up may be a better time, but the best thing to do is not associate yourself with them anymore
Er, I may have come off the wrong way. I don't mean he should rage at them and clearly give them the reaction they want (as you said). I'm saying he shouldn't be taking that shit as obviously they're not his friends.
Basically, I agree with what you said, only you said it more clearly. >.>
|
Sounds like your friends know you and your buddy are in puppy love with a slut and you are oblivious!
Well, maybe not slut by normal standards, because you're Chinese and your version of a love triangle is three people sharing the same booth in a night club... but I guess that's kind of slutty too???
|
lol your friends really blow, real friends would never do that
it sounds like theyre good friends, and just fucking with you lol
|
Relax and take a step back. You're getting very worked up about issues that are out of your control. The girl will decide who she wants to be with (hasn't yet) and you will decide if you want to be with her (when she makes it clear). You can bypass all of this by manning up and taking her to a dinner and a movie. Maybe dancing, maybe something fun thats going on in your town. The important thing is you're making your intentions clear. And she'll decide if she wants to come along. It takes effort knowing these things, and this is where your energy should be spent.
Other things to consider: Hows your education coming along? Is there something you could improve upon, like finishing reports? How are you financially - do you have cash or would an extra job make a difference? If it would - then start looking for one. How is your fitness and do you need to focus more effort on that? What would you do if you started getting serious with a girl - what kind of dates would you guys have. What are some special things you could do for a girl regardless of who she is? I know this sounds dry and mechanical - and every girl is different. The most important thing is the connection between you two. But you are free to take responsibility to make your time together a bit more personal. And it's a great way to strengthen a relationship, whether it be friendship or romantic.
Thats just some ideas on what you can spend your precious time thinking about instead of getting frustrated by your "friends". I'm sure they have a nice core, but they sound misguided. And you probably shouldn't worry too much about the love triangle either. There are other girls in the world. And there are much better friends out there who value you and your time. Until then, make due with what you've got. There is such a thing as "bad relationships" where people are disrespectful and abusive. You should try to minimize these in your life. I hope there are positive things about your "friends" and hopefully you guys can get along and have fun together. And I wish you the best of luck with your life, no matter what happens with the girl.
|
Those aren't friends. Those sound like peers. People throw the word 'friend' around so much that it's gone out of style.
Don't hang out with them anymore because they aren't worth your time.
|
Everything would be perfectly fine if those two "friends" were girls. I thought they were girls the entire time until you said "he" at the end. Girls giggling about love triangles is perfectly normal. Guys not so much. Next, you're gonna tell us they are fans of Twilight.
|
Am I the only one that, if they were loud, would have just acted cocky/confident/douchey in return?
Aka: "Well of course she prefers me" etc. Especially if she's drunk. As I say it give a little douchey smile or wink and chuckle. If you're not actually going out with her, there's really not much wrong with what they did, short of them being immature. But they aren't OMGWTFTWOFACED. Just immature. You need to act like such petty BS doesn't phase you. Because if this phases you, you're going to have a lot of trouble in the future with women I presume.
EDIT: just read the post above mine, didn't realize they weren't girls either. Since when the fuck do guys "giggle." That could change the situation, and they just went from immature to retarded. Get new friends, agreed. If anything they should be wingmanning you, not pushing the other guy into the situation.
|
Rated 1
Don't get friends and then complain about them.
Why did you stay around and listen to that bullshit?
|
This story remind me of the Song Weddring Dress by Taeyang
Similar story i mean ...
|
This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where the asian girls at the nail salon talk about Elaine and giggle at her but she doesn't speak Korean so she can't understand them.
|
just stay away from dudes that get drunk. only shit happens with drunk people. nothing good ever comes from them >.<
|
On December 10 2010 09:00 MisterD wrote:
just stay away from dudes that get drunk. only shit happens with drunk people. nothing good ever comes from them >.<
Some of the most fun times in my life have been when drunk and with drunk friends. You are highly mistaken.
|
|
|
Next time you see him, steal a small thing from him like a hat or something. Go to his house when no one is around to "return" it and then chloroform him. Drive him to an abandoned location on the outskirts of the city and cover a room in plastic sheeting. Before he wakes up, take off his clothes and tape him to a table, put up pictures of you, the girl, and guy c above him. When he comes to, he will probably ask you whats going on so tell him that his treatment of you 3 is unacceptable and it can't go on. He will most likely agree to your terms but he's just bullshitting, people like that don't change. Grab your trusty 8 inch blade and stab him in the heart. Clean up will be a bitch but i'm sure it will be worth it. If you're near a body of water you can rent a kayak or something and dump the parts out at sea. Problem solved, your friends will all be happier.
|
|
|
On December 10 2010 09:27 ZeaL. wrote:Next time you see him, steal a small thing from him like a hat or something. Go to his house when no one is around to "return" it and then chloroform him. Drive him to an abandoned location on the outskirts of the city and cover a room in plastic sheeting. Before he wakes up, take off his clothes and tape him to a table, put up pictures of you, the girl, and guy c above him. When he comes to, he will probably ask you whats going on so tell him that his treatment of you 3 is unacceptable and it can't go on. He will most likely agree to your terms but he's just bullshitting, people like that don't change. Grab your trusty 8 inch blade and stab him in the heart. Clean up will be a bitch but i'm sure it will be worth it. If you're near a body of water you can rent a kayak or something and dump the parts out at sea. Problem solved, your friends will all be happier.
Hey Dexter, let me know where you live so I know not to go there.
|
Delete Facebook.
Stay in your bedroom.
Play Starcraft every day.
We're the only friends you really need.
Maybe you could date Nova. I'd say Kerrigan, but that dude Raynor's got the hots for her, even though it makes no sense when considering the entire storyline.
|
Singapore285 Posts
On December 10 2010 07:11 Response wrote:From the sounds of it are you like in middle school or something? That was the last time I can remember anyone doing something like what you described the two guys doing.
The shocking thing is that I'm actually in university.
This wasn't really a blog about a girlfriend, but about "friends" >.< I think I need to be more selective with my friends; it has only been 3 months since the start of the semester (of my first year), so I was picking up as many acquaintances as possible. Now may be a good time to keep the good friends and lose the bad ones.
As for the girl, no she's not slutty, she's the perfectly nice and conservative type of girl. It's just the other guy who tries to chat her up. I feel there's a huge cultural gap in how Chinese date girls, compared to everyone else here, so I'm not going to ask for advice. Wish me luck instead!
|
Chinese girls don't seriously date much in college, it's just big group activities with guys and girls, kind of like what you are describing
yes, be more selective with your friends. and don't think about girls all the time 
|
Its really common here :3
Sucks.
|
On December 10 2010 11:48 zzaaxxsscd wrote:Chinese girls don't seriously date much in college, it's just big group activities with guys and girls, kind of like what you are describing yes, be more selective with your friends. and don't think about girls all the time
They must come from a different China than the one I'm thinking of
|
On December 10 2010 09:27 ZeaL. wrote:Next time you see him, steal a small thing from him like a hat or something. Go to his house when no one is around to "return" it and then chloroform him. Drive him to an abandoned location on the outskirts of the city and cover a room in plastic sheeting. Before he wakes up, take off his clothes and tape him to a table, put up pictures of you, the girl, and guy c above him. When he comes to, he will probably ask you whats going on so tell him that his treatment of you 3 is unacceptable and it can't go on. He will most likely agree to your terms but he's just bullshitting, people like that don't change. Grab your trusty 8 inch blade and stab him in the heart. Clean up will be a bitch but i'm sure it will be worth it. If you're near a body of water you can rent a kayak or something and dump the parts out at sea. Problem solved, your friends will all be happier.
I thought I was reading one of Baller's posts until I read your name =[
|
They are not "two-faced", rather, they are just plain immature.
|
so im curious what you define as 'going out' with this girl
|
On December 10 2010 22:30 Hawk wrote:
so im curious what you define as 'going out' with this girl
I assume he's gone on a date/went somewhere with her before.
Dude, just drop those guys. I realized they were guys from the very beginning, but couldn't figure out why they giggled, because that's just weird. But, coming back to the main point, those guys aren't friends. Hell, they aren't even acquaintances by my standards. They're just the immature douchebags that you see on the street trying to drive faster than everybody to make themselves feel superior.
|
konadora
Singapore66160 Posts
you sure they're your friends?
|
On December 10 2010 12:10 Fontong wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2010 11:48 zzaaxxsscd wrote:Chinese girls don't seriously date much in college, it's just big group activities with guys and girls, kind of like what you are describing yes, be more selective with your friends. and don't think about girls all the time They must come from a different China than the one I'm thinking of
Yeah I'm thinking of a China with many, many barber shops.
I say catch them in an alley after one of their bouts of drinking and beat the tar out of them with a big green bamboo stick. Try to have another friend with a camcorder record the whole thing, wailing, bone cracking and all. Then make them strip, hug each other, maybe some necking, and tell them if they ever try to do some little giggle shit again, you are going to upload the vid on vikki/youku/tudou and then invite all the "friends" to comment on it.
I did like the other guy's suggestion about the 8 inch blade though. Pretty hilarious, especially the line about "these types of people never change."
|
Laugh in their faces because you have a girl and they are socially awkward so they don't?
^
Pro-tip right there.
|
Think of it as a strategy game for social life, if you don't know the strategies, or know what to look for when scouting, or have the proper mechanics, you get screwed. If you do, you get to outplay people and they qq/rage quit, it's awesome.
|
easy and obvious solution: don't hang out with those people. it sounds like they suck
|
Bang girl
Show pictures of said act to other guy
Smoke a cigar.
Walk off with sunset behind back.
|
this whole incident really isn't a big deal at all... no need to go on tilt, friend.
|
Tell that douchebag you think he's a douche bag and if he doesn't change his behavior you are going to fight him.
|
Take his pencil box when he's not looking and snap all of his crayons.
|
On December 11 2010 11:20 Chairman Ray wrote:
Take his pencil box when he's not looking and snap all of his crayons.
Dude... that's harsh.
But yeah are you sure they're your friends? O_o
|
Should've called them out on their shit man and stood up for yourself. Instead you just stayed quiet about it. That's a no-no.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
