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On December 07 2010 00:36 Umpteen wrote:
I mean, when you look down the strategy forum, what do you see?
Out of 28 red threads in the strategy section...
4 Zerg Threads
8 Protoss Threads
6 Terran Threads
Though, in general, I'll see "Terran Build Order", "Protoss Response" , and "Zerg Help Me!" threads. So what?
I'm having a hard time seeing how this thread isn't a load of zerg tears either...
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At first I didn't understand the titular reference. What could Starcraft II possibly have to do with Neil Jordan's 1992 mediation on nationalism, gender and sexual politics?
Then I started to get it. When you initially wanted to play zerg, you thought you were getting this hot, sexy race. The swarm from SC1 was re-vamped, with some very attractive new features like larva injecting and creep spreading to compliment mass unit selection and hotkeying multiple buildings together, not to mention this little workhorse of a unit named the roach. After months of tantalizing anticipation, success in the ladder and some helpful buffs along the way, you finally thought you'd found the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Then you go to have sex and find out she has a dick. I suppose the real question is: do you still love her?
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On December 07 2010 00:44 Servius_Fulvius wrote:
Though, in general, I'll see "Terran Build Order", "Protoss Response" , and "Zerg Help Me!" threads. So what?
I'm having a hard time seeing how this thread isn't a load of zerg tears either...
But it is. I even told you it was, right at the top, to avoid confusion.
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On December 07 2010 00:50 JackMcCoy wrote:
At first I didn't understand the titular reference. What could Starcraft II possibly have to do with Neil Jordan's 1992 mediation on nationalism, gender and sexual politics?
Then I started to get it. When you initially wanted to play zerg, you thought you were getting this hot, sexy race. The swarm from SC1 was re-vamped, with some very attractive new features like larva injecting and creep spreading to compliment mass unit selection and hotkeying multiple buildings together, not to mention this little workhorse of a unit named the roach. After months of tantalizing anticipation, success in the ladder and some helpful buffs along the way, you finally thought you'd found the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Then you go to have sex and find out she has a dick. I suppose the real question is: do you still love her?
I used it because it had 'crying' in the name. But your reason is good too.
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Well, what is your answer? Will you accept that she has a penis because you love her?
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I honestly don't know. I can't imagine sleeping with anyone else, but the other girls seem to have so much more fun. And there's, you know, the dick to contend with. Tough call.
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I don't want to come in here and ruin the good thing you guys have going, but I just wanted to say I was grinning by the time I was done reading and I appreciate the fact that this thread exists.
As you were.
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this thread is going places, and I like it.
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On December 07 2010 01:12 Umpteen wrote:
I honestly don't know. I can't imagine sleeping with anyone else, but the other girls seem to have so much more fun. And there's, you know, the dick to contend with. Tough call.
Well, life is about compromises. You've built up this rapport, this relationship, with her and you clearly influence each other on an emotional level. You know her better than any other girl, and it would sure be a shame to throw away all the hard work you two have put into this thing so quickly.
Maybe you just have to come to terms with the fact that, in the midst of all the pleasure you'll have with her, you're going to run into that penis every once in a while. Perhaps, over time, you'll learn to tolerate it or, who knows, maybe even appreciate and enjoy it. Can you imagine this happening? Could you picture yourself one day enjoying the penis as part of your lifestyle?
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No no no. You should sleep around and check out the competition. You'll have a better feel for all the girls out there. Who knows, after being away, you might miss the penis.
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On December 07 2010 00:51 Umpteen wrote:Show nested quote +On December 07 2010 00:44 Servius_Fulvius wrote:
Though, in general, I'll see "Terran Build Order", "Protoss Response" , and "Zerg Help Me!" threads. So what?
I'm having a hard time seeing how this thread isn't a load of zerg tears either... But it is. I even told you it was, right at the top, to avoid confusion.
Oops. My bad 
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It's really har... um, difficult, though, sometimes. I mean, girls like to talk; I get that, and I do try, but if you let her she'll just drone on and on and never, you know, DO anything. And then it's my fault, of course, when a bunch of that Terran slut's marine hareem bust in and trash the joint. "This is why we can't have nice things," she says; "Why don't you stand up to them; grow a fucking spine", she says. I just dunno...
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On December 07 2010 05:04 Umpteen wrote:
I mean, girls like to talk; I get that, and I do try, but if you let her she'll just drone on and on and never, you know, DO anything.
Lol this is quite a tasty allegory going on here.
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And it gets worse: it seems every time I manage to get her alone for a minute this prick Thor drops in with his friend Cliff, and she goes down for them so goddamn fast it's not true. So Thor's bashing away at her with his 250mm cannon and my spire's just not ready. I need time, you know? By the time I do get it up her choke's full of marines again.
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dont get me wrong, she is hot as hell and i love her for that. I love showing her off to my friends, i love the way she dresses and flirts with me in public. I love her seductive voice, her witted humor, and i can tolerate and even find grace in how fast she uses up all my money in the press of one key. But all this doesn't change the fact, when push comes to shove and shit hits the fan and we go into the bedroom, she pulls out her dick.
I cant handle it coming out at such crucial moments all the time. I mean, you can say "well there are other REAL girls to choose from!" But none of them act like she does! The rest are all so bloated and slow or just so darn passive. She has the spark, she is the one, BUT SHE HAS A DICK.
So that's why im cheating on her now. I enjoy strutting around with her in public, but occasionally I will dabble with other girls just because i cant bring myself to accept the dick.
Best of both worlds this way, but its not a solution if i want to make a long term commitment 
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EPT
