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How to tame a zergling - english assignment

Blogs > Phrost
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Phrost
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States4008 Posts
November 29 2010 21:47 GMT
#1
So for my less than amazing online English class i had to write a 400-600 word "how-to" on something that doesnt exist. Examples that the teacher gave were "how to survival a zombie apocalypse" and "how to wash a dragon"

I figured someone would enjoy this for the fact that I tried to stay true to the lore and make it interesting enough for a non-starcraft player to read.

How to tame a zergling

Before I begin describing the art of taming a zergling, it is important to note that this process is very dangerous, and you should assess your own personal strength before attempting this feat. It is strongly recommended that you have a friend standing nearby with a gun if something goes wrong. It is extremely important that you are aware that zerglings are dangerous creatures of the Zerg swarm, and even following this guide word for word could yield fatal results. If you choose to continue, you will need to acquire a number of things prior to finding a zergling to tame. After gathering the required materials, you will spend some time finding a zergling suitable to tame. Finally, I will describe in detail the taming process.

Prior to even searching for a zergling to tame, it is recommended that you set up a place for it to stay after capture. I personally recommend a cage 12 feet wide by 12 feet long by 6 feet high, made from vespene-infused blue mineral titanium plating. You can find this at your local Terran military builders market, and it will provide adequate space for the zergling to exercise and a strong frame to keep the it from escaping if it becomes unhappy. I also recommend purchasing blue mineral powder or granulated blue minerals and the cheapest cuts of beef you can obtain to feed your pet zergling. Lastly, you will need 4 or more pounds of dried beef, and a large vehicle (preferably a pickup truck) with enough space to hold a befriended zergling. After this is done, you are ready to track one down.

Zerglings are born in pairs. There is always a twin that it will live its entire life with until one of them dies. There is an inseparable bond that keeps them fighting together until they are told to retreat. Unfortunately this makes it almost impossible to tame a zergling that is still running amok with its twin. You will spend a large amount of time attempting to find a lone zergling. The best place to look is near the closest Zerg hive, but be extremely careful. The closer you get to a hive, the more likely you are to run into more powerful Zerg warriors, which will prove to be fatal. A rule of thumb is if you come into contact with purple mold growing on the terrain, then you have gone too close to the hive and should immediately back away. This purple mold is called Creep and only grows close to the center of a Zerg establishment.

It is extremely important when approaching a zergling that you do not approach from its rear or side. Eventually the zergling will see you, become startled, and attack. You want to approach directly from the front of it with some food in hand. Do not carry a weapon as this will also startle the zergling into attacking. Zerglings have been bred to attack once they recognize a weapon. Slowly approach the zergling, and when you are about 8 feet away, toss the food at its feet. If the zergling is feeling at ease it will quickly begin to eat the meat. During this time, you may take a few more cautious steps forward and procure another piece of meat. Continue doing this until you are within an arm’s length of the zergling. Hand feeding the zergling is the last step, and should solidify your role as the dominant species. After gentle coaxing, the zergling should follow you to its new home.

***
iamphrost.tumblr.com // http://howtobebettermagicplayer.tumblr.com // twitter @phrost_
hifriend
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
China7935 Posts
November 29 2010 21:56 GMT
#2
I think you'd need to purchase a psi emitter or else the zergling might get some unfortunate commands from the overmind. Otherwise fun read. :D
HwangjaeTerran
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Finland5967 Posts
November 29 2010 21:57 GMT
#3
Your teacher is going to be lost on "zergling"
https://steamcommunity.com/id/*tlusernamehere*/
Phrost
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States4008 Posts
November 29 2010 21:59 GMT
#4
On November 30 2010 06:57 HwangjaeTerran wrote:
Your teacher is going to be lost on "zergling"


My last assignment was to describe the cover of a cd, dvd, or video game.

Jimmy Raynor never sounded so good.
iamphrost.tumblr.com // http://howtobebettermagicplayer.tumblr.com // twitter @phrost_
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2801 Posts
November 29 2010 22:01 GMT
#5
If one day you wake up, check on your caged Zergling, and find nothing in the cage, do not panic; it most definitely means that the hive cluster from which this Zergling was a part of just finished evolving the ability to burrow. Also, do not panic if you find your Zergling growing stronger claws, developing stronger exoskeleton, moving faster, or doing drugs; all of these are normal evolutions which take place in a Zergling's short life. However, do be more cautious given everyday it grows more suitable to kill you.
Phrost
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States4008 Posts
November 29 2010 22:09 GMT
#6
If only there wasnt a 600 word maximum
iamphrost.tumblr.com // http://howtobebettermagicplayer.tumblr.com // twitter @phrost_
speedphlux
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Bulgaria962 Posts
November 29 2010 22:25 GMT
#7
That is pretty good :D
... Humanity Is Not What I Suffer From ...
Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
November 29 2010 22:26 GMT
#8
This is pretty cute. I like your imagination.
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
omgCRAZY
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada551 Posts
November 29 2010 22:35 GMT
#9
Cool read, shame it is only 600 words maximum.
THIS NEEDS FACE!
Misillusion
Profile Joined April 2010
46 Posts
November 29 2010 22:43 GMT
#10
Awesome. So I'm not the only person who wants a pet zergling.
Phrost
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States4008 Posts
November 29 2010 22:49 GMT
#11
On November 30 2010 07:43 Misillusion wrote:
Awesome. So I'm not the only person who wants a pet zergling.


I'm not much of a writer so I had to pick something I felt motivated to write about.
iamphrost.tumblr.com // http://howtobebettermagicplayer.tumblr.com // twitter @phrost_
polgas
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada1752 Posts
November 29 2010 23:05 GMT
#12
Also don't feed it vespene or it will evolve into an explosive pet.
Leee Jaee Doong
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7031 Posts
November 29 2010 23:10 GMT
#13
I don't know if your English teacher will be very favourable to the style. I just finished a similar course for university and the teacher kept critiquing my writing style: too many difficult words, overly lengthy sentences, it was supposedly hard to follow the line of thought.
For your text it's a bit the same, all sentences are around the same length and just state one thing, not to mention that you also use a lot of words with high syllable count. What you might want to do is add more diversity as well as structure.
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
Phrost
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States4008 Posts
November 29 2010 23:21 GMT
#14
On November 30 2010 08:10 Mothxal wrote:
I don't know if your English teacher will be very favourable to the style. I just finished a similar course for university and the teacher kept critiquing my writing style: too many difficult words, overly lengthy sentences, it was supposedly hard to follow the line of thought.
For your text it's a bit the same, all sentences are around the same length and just state one thing, not to mention that you also use a lot of words with high syllable count. What you might want to do is add more diversity as well as structure.


Although I appreciate your concerns, I am not an English major (thank god) but a Game Development major. None of the words I chose to use were because of length or syllable count. I only use vocabulary that I would commonly use in everyday life.

It's hard to write a "how-to" that is supposed to be very straight forward with a varying sentence length and word choice. One would assume this is supposed to be a functional text rather than a recreational one.
iamphrost.tumblr.com // http://howtobebettermagicplayer.tumblr.com // twitter @phrost_
garbanzo
Profile Joined October 2009
United States4046 Posts
November 29 2010 23:27 GMT
#15
Interesting read. I like the idea a lot, but I feel like as an actual how-to guide it's quite lacking. Surely there is more to taming a zergling than just feeding it until it comes closer to you. You wrote more detail than that, but at first read that was the impression I got. I don't really know what someone who doesn't know anything about Starcraft lore would think though.

Sounds like a great class, though. Keep showing us more of your Starcraft related writing.
Even during difficult times, when I sat down to play the game, there were times where it felt like god has descended down and played [for me].
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
November 29 2010 23:28 GMT
#16
Pfft, how are you befriending it if you are giving it the cheapest cuts of meat? I find this guide not only incredibly cruel, but perpetuating of the Terran social structures that keep humans from seeing Zerglings as intelligent creatures with their own existential woes and desires.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Psyonic_Reaver
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States4333 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-29 23:29:34
November 29 2010 23:29 GMT
#17
On November 30 2010 08:05 polgas wrote:
Also don't feed it vespene or it will evolve into an explosive pet.


LOL! Nice writeup by the way. I enjoyed it. =)
So wait? I'm bad? =(
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
November 29 2010 23:30 GMT
#18
Awww pet zergling :3 So cute ^_____^
Phrost
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States4008 Posts
November 29 2010 23:36 GMT
#19
On November 30 2010 08:27 garbanzo wrote:
Interesting read. I like the idea a lot, but I feel like as an actual how-to guide it's quite lacking. Surely there is more to taming a zergling than just feeding it until it comes closer to you. You wrote more detail than that, but at first read that was the impression I got. I don't really know what someone who doesn't know anything about Starcraft lore would think though.

Sounds like a great class, though. Keep showing us more of your Starcraft related writing.


The constraints of the assignment (specifically the word count) severely hampered my ability to flesh out a more detailed instruction. Yes there is more but I did not have enough available words to elaborate on it.

Maybe I'll rewrite the guide and include more of my initial ideas.
iamphrost.tumblr.com // http://howtobebettermagicplayer.tumblr.com // twitter @phrost_
WarChimp
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Australia943 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-29 23:41:35
November 29 2010 23:41 GMT
#20
Actually that was pretty cool, I hope you get a high mark for this Phrost
You totally deserve it xD
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
November 29 2010 23:43 GMT
#21
On November 30 2010 08:36 Phrost wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 30 2010 08:27 garbanzo wrote:
Interesting read. I like the idea a lot, but I feel like as an actual how-to guide it's quite lacking. Surely there is more to taming a zergling than just feeding it until it comes closer to you. You wrote more detail than that, but at first read that was the impression I got. I don't really know what someone who doesn't know anything about Starcraft lore would think though.

Sounds like a great class, though. Keep showing us more of your Starcraft related writing.


The constraints of the assignment (specifically the word count) severely hampered my ability to flesh out a more detailed instruction. Yes there is more but I did not have enough available words to elaborate on it.

Maybe I'll rewrite the guide and include more of my initial ideas.

If you do rewrite it, my advice is to begin with the how to, instead of prepping us for three paragraphs, as it really ate up your word count.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Phrost
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States4008 Posts
November 29 2010 23:46 GMT
#22
On November 30 2010 08:43 Chef wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 30 2010 08:36 Phrost wrote:
On November 30 2010 08:27 garbanzo wrote:
Interesting read. I like the idea a lot, but I feel like as an actual how-to guide it's quite lacking. Surely there is more to taming a zergling than just feeding it until it comes closer to you. You wrote more detail than that, but at first read that was the impression I got. I don't really know what someone who doesn't know anything about Starcraft lore would think though.

Sounds like a great class, though. Keep showing us more of your Starcraft related writing.


The constraints of the assignment (specifically the word count) severely hampered my ability to flesh out a more detailed instruction. Yes there is more but I did not have enough available words to elaborate on it.

Maybe I'll rewrite the guide and include more of my initial ideas.

If you do rewrite it, my advice is to begin with the how to, instead of prepping us for three paragraphs, as it really ate up your word count.


A true "how-to" I feel should be written as a list with citations for more detailed analysis but I understand. I wanted to include the warning at the beginning as I felt it would add more character to the assignment and make the teacher less bored (which should result in a better grade I suppose)
iamphrost.tumblr.com // http://howtobebettermagicplayer.tumblr.com // twitter @phrost_
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7031 Posts
November 30 2010 00:19 GMT
#23
On November 30 2010 08:21 Phrost wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 30 2010 08:10 Mothxal wrote:
I don't know if your English teacher will be very favourable to the style. I just finished a similar course for university and the teacher kept critiquing my writing style: too many difficult words, overly lengthy sentences, it was supposedly hard to follow the line of thought.
For your text it's a bit the same, all sentences are around the same length and just state one thing, not to mention that you also use a lot of words with high syllable count. What you might want to do is add more diversity as well as structure.


Although I appreciate your concerns, I am not an English major (thank god) but a Game Development major. None of the words I chose to use were because of length or syllable count. I only use vocabulary that I would commonly use in everyday life.

It's hard to write a "how-to" that is supposed to be very straight forward with a varying sentence length and word choice. One would assume this is supposed to be a functional text rather than a recreational one.

I was especially thinking of the first paragraph, which at some point has the following:
..it is important to note that this process is very dangerous, and you should assess your own personal strength before attempting this feat.
It is strongly recommended that you have a friend standing nearby with a gun if something goes wrong.
It is extremely important that you are aware that zerglings are dangerous creatures..

"very dangerous, strongly recommended, extremely important", with those words it becomes very dry and difficult to read. In those sample sentences there are a lot of ways you could have written the same thing more concisely.

Not trying to be overly critical though.
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
ReketSomething
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States6012 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-30 00:27:43
November 30 2010 00:27 GMT
#24
Hopefully your professor doesn't ban you for plagarism lolol.

+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=109064
Jaedong :3
Phrost
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States4008 Posts
November 30 2010 00:42 GMT
#25
On November 30 2010 09:27 ReketSomething wrote:
Hopefully your professor doesn't ban you for plagarism lolol.

+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=109064



oh god.......

Well I said in the beginning it was for my english class =p.

And the time stamp is after I sent the work in to him so it shouldn't matter.
iamphrost.tumblr.com // http://howtobebettermagicplayer.tumblr.com // twitter @phrost_
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