EPTDoes it suck to be me? - Page 3
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blankspace
United States292 Posts
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KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
Second off, there is a common societal assumption in America you're falling prey to. College =/= success or moving forward in life. There are people in college who are just as lost, if not more lost than you...and instead of making 37k a year they're paying that much. All of my friends went off to college and are just beginning to make something of themselves and/or have already. Awesome! You know what that means? They know people, they have contacts, and they can get you where you want to go. Find out what they're doing, encourage them and be interested in your friends' lives. It will only help you down the road. If you want direction, you have to answer this question with complete honesty: What do you really want? Everybody has an intuitive sense of this inside themselves. Personally, it took me until this year before I really sat down and tried figuring this out. It took me between 3-4 weeks, and how I did it personally was through tons and tons of reading and self-reflection. I want to be involved with the privatization of space. I don't have to go there personally, but the thought of colonies and harvesting asteroids...the entire notion of our expansion is so deeply romantic and resonant with me my eyes water when I think about it. And better yet, once we get out there its incredibly practical too. Once you figure out your desire, whether its have a family, become something specific or change the world you have to take an honest look at your strengths and your weaknesses. To do this, you need to ask everybody close to you to tell you honestly. I e-mailed a bunch of friends from my hometown as well as asking people here at college what they honestly thought my strengths and weaknesses are. I told them it was for an assignment so the more they said (and the more brutally honest they were) the more points I'd get but it really wasn't lol. Here's a compilation of responses: I'm good/ok at writing and big-picture scenarios. I'm effective at organizing correspondence to and and appealing to an eclectic group of people. I also believe everybody has something amazing to say, and I genuinely enjoy helping people. I'm majoring in Communication and minoring in Asian Studies. I can learn very, very quickly, figure things out on my own and adapt on the fly. I can read MASSIVE amounts of text very quickly and still recall decent amounts. I see opportunity and always think of better ways things can work. I'm persistent, athletic, and (when I'm sober) intelligent. However, I'm narrow-minded; when I find a point of view I like I'll generally ignore everything else. To change this I've consciously been challenging myself to thoroughly consider every point of view. I'm quiet..I moved into a fraternity house and force myself out whenever I can so this is slowly changing. I'd say now I'm "quiet sometimes" lol. I'm also really oblivious. This is because if I don't like something, I'll just disengage and disconnect from the situation (usually I start thinking about something useful to me). The going out thing is really forcing me to stay in the moment and I'm unconsciously picking up good nonverbal habits so this is another thing thats slowly changing. These are personal observations of my weaknesses that others don't see: I fall REAL hard to my vices but generally don't keep them long. I also procrastinate and don't care about shit in school/my life if I don't like it (kind of conscious obliviousness). Procrastination will also happen because sometimes I feel inadequate to do something. When I realized this last one I was amazed by how bullshitty it was so now I'm actively trying to dive headlong into the things I usually just let coast (the classes I don't care about schoolwise). I fucked up once and left an assignment in the class I cared about till the last minute. Luckily MightyAtom saved my ass and gave me a last-minute interview, but I still felt so shitty about it I've been on top of everything ever since. Once you have these, figure out how the two interact. I'm kind of stuck at this point right now...basically, the question is "what job do I want?" But remember, a job is providing a service to somebody. Filling a need. It's not a variety of defined roles and responsibilities and nothing else but those. I guess what I'm trying to say is figure out what needs you'll fill and what you'll enjoy, THEN find the specific job(s) which will lead you there. Read, research, think about what role you can take to get closer to your personal desire. I haven't had enough professional experience or education to understand exactly what niche I can fill, but right now I feel it would generally be a function where I raise awareness of the benefits and obstacles to expanding into space and function as a super-connector person between people inside/outside the industry. I've also taken Japanese through high school and completed the program here at college, and given that space will be a very international thing I could also function as a connector between cultures. But this is all just my musing and it will expand alongside my experience, knowledge and desire. I'm also really interested by business, but I hate math. I can do it but I HATE it. I go to the library and read forbes/wall street journal/fortune magazine like 3 hours straight when I can fit it in, I'm just fascinated by money and business. The time flies by. I don't know how this will factor in either. Once you've figured out your niche, identify the people you want to meet and make it happen. I've started connecting people in my life for mutual benefit and I've developed the gumption to talk to bigwigs (the President of my university yesterday came up to me through a crowd at a philanthropy event my fraternity is doing and told me out of everybody he meets I'm one of the people in particular he remembers. We've only met face-to-face twice including yesterday. I was so happy) For me, I came into college with no fucking clue who I was or what I wanted to do. Luckily I figured it out in time to make college useful. Society has lost sight of what college is really for, its no good to you if you don't why you're going there. You go there to learn the skills necessary to do what you really want to do and get proof you know them. My first two years weren't a waste but..I could've been doing so much better. For you, you're financially in a good spot to set yourself up for whatever you want to do. Confront it now: you will be leaving your job with in a year if thats what it takes to become who you want where you want. Basically this post is instructions/examples for the process I went through to get out of the state you're in. I have a couple books I recommend you read which provide various ways, insights and methods to go through the process I just talked about: Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi How to Get Any Job with Any Major by Donald Asher I Will Teach you to be Rich by Ramit Sethi The Wealthy Barber by David Chilton I just started this one (off a reccomendation) and it is a great book for me right now because of a lot of factors irrelevant to the discussion. Give it a shot. Read those books, keep a journal handy and just write shit down that comes to your head or for notes or whatever. Go wild. I've filled up ~15 pages in a notebook in the past 3 days and I look through everything I've written once a day just because its fascinating and to connect it all. The knowledge and insight you'll get from people far more experienced than either of us is inside those books. Read them and they will show you how to change your life. Let me know when you figure out what you really want to do and I'll help you brainstorm possible career paths, what you can do to develop skills towards your goal and let you know anything else useful and pertinent. You already sound like you've got an awareness of strengths/skills you have which go underutilized, and it frustrates you. Its good you're being honest with yourself and you feel that way because thats the energy it takes to change. | ||
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faction123
Belgium949 Posts
I'm not going to college or anything because i'm lazy and lack ambition but once I actually went looking, it was extremely eye opening for me to find out how many employers value work experience as something on the same level as a degree. You could, of course, goto school if you want to as well. That's the sensible option and it's what I would've done if I wasn't a huge blob of apathy. | ||
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fredd
Estonia256 Posts
no, it doesn't suck to be you. | ||
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
1. As some mentioned above, get a "serious" hobby! 2. Go for part-time community college education, perhaps for a technical degree (like computer hardware or something, which you're already good at). 3. Since you're not bad-looking and good at language, chill at casual bars/pubs and talk to strangers and just fuck around. Although I'm not good at this, I sometimes tag along good looking white friends (tough for an average looking Asian guy to hit up a random conversation anywhere) and just meet new people. 4. Play SCBW or SC2 because yeah. It's TL, what do you expect? Honestly saying, almost any career will involve hours of grinding hours of work. | ||
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Snuggles
United States1865 Posts
You've made yourself a pretty good foundation man. All that's left for you to do, is ANYTHING. Really just anything. I don't recommend MLG though, I say you should travel a bit, look for different things you can try out. But more importantly, rather just looking, TRY NEW THINGS OUT! | ||
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ShaperofDreams
Canada2492 Posts
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Nitrogen
United States5345 Posts
On October 28 2010 22:08 grats wrote: 1) Military 2) Get a job in a technical career in it. 3) Save 60-70% of your paychecks. 4) Once you get out get put a down payment on a house get a new job in your field (you will have a lot of experience). 5) Join reserves. ----- To sum it up you now job security a home and should be making decent money. yeah. if you are a mechanic/medic/military intelligence it's really easy to get a job... | ||
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haduken
Australia8267 Posts
Seriously bro, you are looking at this all the wrong way. So what if you don't have a degree? You have job and that give you options and right now you need to tough it out. It's never too late to start your career/life. Move back to your parents, SAVE hard. Go back to school and pick something you like and study your ass off so you can get that internship or what ever it is you are after. Don't think of this as a step backward, as long you have a plan and you follow it you will be alright. And don't think that you are so far behind because all your mates have already gone to school and done with their studies, if anything it gave you an edge because if you go back to study now after working your ass at some shitty job you will appreciate it more. I wish I had worked a few years before gone to college, I can guarantee you my attitude and motivation would be totally different after getting owned by real world. | ||
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Kaal
Djibouti2514 Posts
Free college education, rent, and job training. I'm a cryptologic technician, so when I get out of the military, I have a guarenteed 6 figure job in the civilian world with the NAS. | ||
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Aberu
United States968 Posts
On October 28 2010 21:02 munchmunch wrote: Have you thought of trying religion? I don't mean to suggest this superficially, and I apologize if you already have strong religious beliefs. But if you don't, there are a wide range of religious and religious-type communities out there, although something in the line of modern protestantism is probably the easiest for the typical North American to fit into. The reason I suggest it: churches are a great place to meet women who are interested in marrying and settling down. Also, depending on the denomination you can get involved by leading a youth group, helping homeless people, or visiting elderly, all of which can really help give you a sense of purpose in life. Yeah I can't do religion. I'm quite the atheist hehe. I was raised in a fundamentalist church, with a fundamentalist abusive father. Actually I think about this a lot, if only I could believe in the fairy tales I would be more successful with women, since the church girls usually like me, until they find out I'm an atheist, then their belief systems conflict with our attraction. On October 28 2010 20:14 Thrill wrote: Well, your first vacation in 7 years was going to MLG? Here's what you'll do.. You'll save up - book the tickets then go backpacking/traveling. Your job doesn't feel fulfilling as it's not a means to an end - you never really see the benefit of the money you earn outside of survival. If you spend your accumulated funds while seeing the world - you'll feel a lot better about your situation and quite possibly find an angle as to what you want to do. Even if you HATE it - that just means you'll appreciate coming home and the life you've already built for yourself that much more. Also - if what you're saying is true and you're "not bad looking" - you WILL end up hooking up with equally confused girls from around the world when you're staying at various hostels, you might even find someone special who you'd never had met otherwise. Well it WILL be MLG. I'm going to Dallas. I do want to travel around the world as well. Japan is the first country I want to visit, have a good friend and his wife that live there, and studied the language for 2 years (but forgot a lot of it now, been 5 years since college). As for the hostel advice, yeah I don't think that's for me haha. Not really into the whole prostitution idea. On October 28 2010 21:46 s.Q.uelched wrote: I think you should make your life Pizza and BW, that way you cannot not be happy. Haha, pizza and sc2 more like it. I missed out on the days of BW somehow, yet I was always into RTS. It's weird to love RTS and not be into BW, honestly. I like it now in retrospect, and I watch the Korean progamers from time to time and have a pretty deep appreciation of their skill and strategies. On October 28 2010 22:08 grats wrote: 1) Military 2) Get a job in a technical career in it. 3) Save 60-70% of your paychecks. 4) Once you get out get put a down payment on a house get a new job in your field (you will have a lot of experience). 5) Join reserves. ----- To sum it up you now job security a home and should be making decent money. Actually I thought about this, but I am incredibly pacifistic. On October 28 2010 23:30 Tien wrote: Go back to college bro. Move back in with your parents if you have to. You seem smart enough, gtfo of this pizza life. Can't move back in with my Mom, I moved out because she got married. It actually was a good thing for me to move out because I have grown significantly as a result. I want to find a way to live on my own, work, and go to college, and not fail at it, but it feels like I will. On October 29 2010 04:23 fredd wrote: there's a billion people starving in the world no, it doesn't suck to be you. True, no denying that, just was feeling rather pathetic when I wrote this. I do feel a lot better after reading all of the replies, I'm going to try and take the advice. | ||
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Archas
United States6531 Posts
OP, it seems like you are being hard on yourself because you don't own a mansion and a yacht yet. I think the position you're at now is reasonable; it's not stellar, but you shouldn't be reaching for the stars yet anyway. I don't have much else to say that hasn't been mentioned, but keep at it, man. Long as you try your best, you'll get what you want in life. + Show Spoiler + Or you could fail utterly and miserably. What do I know? Just make sure your underlings at the pizza place don't confuse the cheese with the arsenic or something, 'kay? | ||
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lixlix
United States482 Posts
37k, 25 year old, single sounds a lot better than 40k, 30 year old, divorced, supporting 2 kids. | ||
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Cr4zyH0r5e
Peru1308 Posts
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Kanin
75 Posts
You have a pretty damn good life if you ask me. One that I'm envious of and would love to have. All I can do is repeat what others have said, especially in regards to schooling. It will remove some of the free time you use to think about the negative things, and will make it seem like your life is not at a complete standstill. | ||
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Hidden_MotiveS
Canada2562 Posts
I'll send you a pm too, but it is also a good idea to post here. It seems to me that you are comparing your life to that of the people around you. Your friends are doing much better than you. Well what if you were to live in a third world country; very poor, but everything else is the same for you. Everyone doesn't have much food to eat. Every day is a struggle to survive. Everyone around you has untreated diseases. Children die on a weekly basis. Or maybe we'll take it a step up. You live in urban China, you still have a 37k job. An apartment. Your looks. The people in the apartment near you make a third of your salary. They work long hours in a factory. The work is tiring. All they do is work, rest and play games when they get home. You'd feel like a success next to these people. What I'm trying to say, is maybe instead of being the small fish in the big pond, you should try to be the big fish in the small pond. There are many towns that are cheap to live in. If your friends were all drug addicts going to prison you'd feel a lot better than them too. Personal happiness can be a relative thing. People are happy when they do better than the people around them. Maybe you should find a place where you can lower your standards. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to improve your life. I'm saying you should also try to make your surroundings more friendly. | ||
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ooni
Australia1498 Posts
On October 28 2010 13:57 Aberu wrote: Most video games are dead to me as well. Starcraft 2 is like the only thing I play. I used to be that guy that would be excited about every rpg coming out and play them whenever they did, had so much passion. Now they just all feel like they suck, including the big name ones (Dragon Quest IX, FFXIII, new Tales games). These games do suck though. Dw, you haven't 'grown out' of these games. It's just that these new 'big name' games suck. | ||
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asianskill
United States289 Posts
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CharlieMurphy
United States22895 Posts
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NickC
233 Posts
cant you like, quit your job, go randomly live in spain for a year or something? | ||
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