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My Journey of writing

Blogs > Marksman
Post a Reply
Marksman
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Malaysia523 Posts
October 17 2010 12:51 GMT
#1
As I listen to this soundtrack My Most Precious Treasure from Angel Beats, I recall the past. When I listen to this song, I just felt like telling a tale. So I will tell you a tale. A tale of my past of being a fanfiction writer.

It's been five years since I started writing. I was only a 15 year old kid which then started writing a story simply for just a girl. It was a stupid way of doing it then but I started to write my story longer than I had ever written in my life. It was based on a MMO called Space Cowboy now called Air Rivals. It was simple, it was horrible, it was my first time. I had written it to a sum of 28k words. Formatting was horrible but people then still liked what I've written. By then, I had fallen in love with writing .

Then I proceeded with my own sequel to my story. and another sequel with that with a fourth installment for a finale. Before I could begin my fourth installment, I met Saber.

It was when Animax was first introduced to Malaysia and I've watched the anime of Fate Stay Night. As the main character Shirou Emiya fell in love with Saber, I too fell in love with her. I felt such a strong need to write a story about Fate Stay Night. I proceeded on. I worked hard to research and study everything I could. I posted my work on Fanfiction.net and was encouraged further.

I went further and further with this project which I adored. I took the courage to get a Beta Reader when the function was released in Fanfiction.net. I searched the list and got myself two beta readers to try it out. I remembered the pain that lingered in my heart.

I still have one of their replies here. I'll just copy and paste it here without their online names. Spoilered down here.

+ Show Spoiler +
Pardon me for taking four days to get back to your email; I've been busy
lately with work, personal commitments, preparations for next semester, and
illness. I should've checked my email more often.

Getting back on subject...

Let's cut to the chase for the moment. I haven't gotten very far, only
chapter two, but I agree with your initial assessment: Your chapters are far
too short, and your paragraphs are sometimes a mess to read; what you're
currently doing is cutting up appropriatelysized paragraphs and cutting them
into smaller fragments, which can be somewhat painful to read at times.
Paragraphs are powerful things; using them correctly can let your readers know
exactly where your emphasis is, but your constant cutting up of paragraphs
makes it difficult for me to tell where you want emphasis placed. Although I
don't generally nitpick on grammar and punctuation, it's something you're
going to have to watch very carefully.

Another point about your format is something that I go over with practically
everyone, finding a good balance between description and dialogue. For the
most part, most fan fiction writers put far too much emphasis on dialogue,
meaning that we read more of people talking, and far less so about the
environment around them, and the situation. I think it's pretty safe to say
that your writing style is, currently, unbalanced, tipping towards dialogue;
in many cases, you're simply utilizing two or three sentences to describe the
setting and situation before jumping into a conversation.

Enough about formatting for now, though. Moving onto the story itself, I find
a lot of things disagreeable. For now, let's not talk about the feasibility of
the Sixth Holy Grail War with fifteen Servants; I am mostly disturbed by how
you are portraying the characters. In chapter two, Saber speaks as if she was
a peppy, spunky sixteenyearold, when, in fact, she's a mature, immortal woman
with stature worthy enough to be King Arthur of Britain, and Shirou wasn't
exactly much better either. Let's not talk about Ilya for now; what I'm mostly
bothered by is that you seem quite willing to reduce Saber to a lovestruck
teenager, when, in fact, Fate/stay night went to MUCH length to portray Saber
in the exact OPPOSITE way.

That's all from me for now. I'm afraid that this illness means I can't stay
up too long, so I do need some sleep. Hope everything goes well.


The pain hurt. It was true and I should accept for what it is but it still hurt my heart badly. I thought I was on the right track. I wasn't. I lost my momentum to write completely, going on with life without writing. The pain just hurts...

I thought I was going to quit writing forever. I never thought I could continue after being hurt so bad. Still, I had cared for Saber even if she doesn't exist in this world. Leaving this story about her hanging just like that is something I couldn't let it be.

I picked up my pencil and my stack of papers. I told myself that day three years ago. I will no longer depend on anyone. I will never give up. No matter what, I will finish this story no matter whatever happens. No matter how bad it will be, no matter how long it takes. Even if my hands bleed from all the writing, I will never give up. For Saber.

I continued writing, I read books of fantasy and science fictions. I read more and more, countless hours. I could finish reading works which could take up months for fellow fanficton writers to write within two days. I learned new things. I learned new styles. I learned new ways for new things. I may not be a writer that can make money but I will write for it is my passion. It is my desire to create and present an imagination from my very mind.

Now, I'm still not done with my Fate Stay Night project, having deviated temporarily to two other side projects in the course of these two years. (Ragnarok Online and To Aru Majutsu No Index). I've learned a lot from them and I will put all my effort to fixing this story of mine. Only once I finish this can I put my heart at rest. After I finish Fate Stay Night, I will return to Air Rivals and finish that final installment of mine.

Even after the years have passed, I still see Saber as someone special. I don't know why, just that it is. Even now, I keep her in my desktop. I sometimes wished she would be real. If only maybe...i'm definitely putting my hopes up too high. Welcome to reality oh Marksman. Some things aren't real.

She looks just like an angel here. (2.5mb + - file size)
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Then maybe.....maybe I could write a new story. A story of my own. A story that can be published in Malaysia. A story that will enchant readers. I'm studying hard to be an engineer. I'm training to be a writer. I'm trying to be competitive in Starcraft 2 for SEA. I'm trying to do just so many things....

No matter what though. No matter whatever I must toil through. No matter whatever stands in my way, I will not give up. I will not give up and fight every step of the way if I have to. I will not let my heart be broken again. I will never give up.

Thank you for reading this. Good night.

I live by the LoL
news
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
892 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-17 13:32:45
October 17 2010 13:30 GMT
#2
I used to think I could write before I went to school stacked with above average kids. Maybe you should go with something else.
"Althought it sounds sexism, and probably is, given the right context, we cannot classify the statement itself as a sexist statement by itself," - evanthebouncy!
Terranist
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States2496 Posts
October 17 2010 14:53 GMT
#3
the real question is why are you studying to become an engineer if your passion is obviously writing?
The Show of a Lifetime
Marksman
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Malaysia523 Posts
October 17 2010 15:09 GMT
#4
Well, you can say its for multiple reasons. I wanted to be a writer thats a bit special as well.

I particularly focus my stories on science fiction and fantasy. I'd like to know whats really possible and whats really not. Most writers probably research up on it. Someone involved with technology and engineering would be much more aware of it and the industry and practices. It gives a different perspective perhaps.

Secondly, i have also somewhat a desire but not as strong as this to create something new. Okay, revolutionizing the world etc not going to happen. But to make something from the ground up from design to conception especially things that just look so sci fi. lol.

I did happen to read up on one of our TLers here who did writing once. It was difficult, time consuming and etc etc. I'm not familiar with the writing scene in Malaysia particularly for novels. I believe that at my current skill set, it can be an addictive hobby but not a professional work as of yet. When I work as an engineer, I'll probably take a slow long time, improving while writing a story. I certainly will write even once I am an engineer but writing definitely won't be my primary career.

So, Engineering does help me become a bit somewhat unique and certainly help in paying the bills as well. Taking both sides of science and arts creates a synergy of perspectives and understanding to what I believe. I will learn to create things from both ends of the world and that will satisfy me.
I live by the LoL
Coagulation
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States9633 Posts
October 17 2010 15:56 GMT
#5
you sound like you really enjoy writing. I think you need to be more open minded when someone criticizes your work.. it is an opportunity to better yourself. critical analysis is an extremely important tool for creative individuals like us to refine and perfect our craft. If you can harness critical analysis and refine it into improvements with an open mind your writing skills will be well nourished and grow strong.
Reflex
Profile Joined March 2007
Canada703 Posts
October 17 2010 16:34 GMT
#6
Nice article.
Just curious as to what's the "Pedo.docx" on your desktop?
Haemonculus
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States6980 Posts
October 17 2010 16:43 GMT
#7
I can totally relate to most everything that you wrote.

Somewhere on a really shitty old computer in a junkyard somewhere is the first story I ever tried to write... I was in middle school, and I shit you not, it was based on the old SC map "Elements RPG". (good lord i was a nerd even back then) Basically myself and my friends got teleported to the temple base thing you started at, each picked an element, got powers, had to save the world, etc. I don't think I ever shared it with anyone though. I'd love to somehow recover it and read it through now... I'm sure it was hilariously bad, hehe.

It sounds like you have the drive and creativity to write something entirely your own. I could never manage that... I always have to base things off of existing worlds. I wrote sailor moon fanfics... SC fanfics... eesh, a bit of everything. Even now, the story I've just started is based on the old computer game Myth: The Fallen Lords.

And hey, you had the courage to put your work out there for review! That's awesome. I'm pretty sure only my boyfriend has ever seen any of my writing. Keep at it, yo! You've clearly got the passion for it!
I admire your commitment to being *very* oily
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
October 17 2010 16:54 GMT
#8
you're lucky that someone took the time to give you honest and constructive criticism, it showed they cared.
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
ChaosWielder
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States166 Posts
October 17 2010 17:12 GMT
#9
Don't get discouraged. Writing is an arduous profession, and the best you can hope for is to be comfortable with yourself(which is asking quite a bit, as most writers have a bit of the old Sylvia Plath syndrome).

It sounds like you have the right attitude. And let me tell you, that's more difficult than it might seem. When I sent my first novel out to agents, the few letters I got back said, in effect, that the piece was "too literary". That is, of course, a bullshit response, and means something closer to "needs more sparkley vampires". I remain undeterred, and I write away for myself, with the slim possibility of it one day gracing some faux-hipsters attempt at getting laid. This is my dream.
nA.Inky
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States794 Posts
October 17 2010 18:22 GMT
#10
The famous and well loved author, Kurt Vonnegut, never studied writing. He also stated that he wished more authors would come from fields other than writing, and that the most potential for excellent writing existed outside of writing programs. He also had a very, very unconventional writing style.

I think there is a place for the conventional, traditional approach, but don't let anyone here make you feel like you MUST study writing to succeed, or that you MUST do things any one particular way.
Email (use instead of PM): InkMeister at aol dot com AIM: InkMeister
Marksman
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Malaysia523 Posts
October 17 2010 23:11 GMT
#11
On October 18 2010 00:56 Coagulation wrote:
you sound like you really enjoy writing. I think you need to be more open minded when someone criticizes your work.. it is an opportunity to better yourself. critical analysis is an extremely important tool for creative individuals like us to refine and perfect our craft. If you can harness critical analysis and refine it into improvements with an open mind your writing skills will be well nourished and grow strong.


And

On October 18 2010 01:54 MightyAtom wrote:
you're lucky that someone took the time to give you honest and constructive criticism, it showed they cared.



Yes, I know I should be. Its just that it hurt the first time. It hurt bad. They cared yes, just probably I couldn't take it that time. I do accept critcism better but I won't be dependent on such criticism.


On October 18 2010 01:34 Reflex wrote:
Nice article.
Just curious as to what's the "Pedo.docx" on your desktop?



lol, I'm in a clan for Call of Duty 4 called Pedo. That file was pretty much introduction file of our team. You can look at it here. Pedo Clan

I'll see if I can read up on Kurt Vonnegut's works. Thanks for your replies.
I live by the LoL
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