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Well.... so I told my parents and actually was very surprised.... So the thing they were most concerned about was the age gap... she is 3 years younger than me. I was like well 3 years right isn't that bad. My parents said that they are okay as long as it's what I want, but they just told me like not to get too attached and just to be careful because once a relationship gets serious its a big part of my life (good or bad I suppose). They also said that they don't care about race, which relieved me. However, she is an art major which they were sorta meh about since they expect me to find a "smart" girl if I were to have a girlfriend. I dunno my parents just think art is a wash and that sciences or business is king. I just tried to explain to them that that's what she loves and although she may not be good at science or math shes a talented artist.
They were more like "you can do better" rather than like "omg wtf girlfriend you lied to us blah blah"
Regardless it went well and there was no fighting at all. I can't say they are like absolutely ecstatic, but I will say that our relationship is fine. After I told them they took me out to my birthday dinner and bought me a lot of chocolate and gummies, I know Im 22 but I still think candy is awesome. I will introduce my GF to them the next time she comes over. Thanks to everyone for their support!
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On October 04 2010 02:37 AppleTart wrote: ...
They were more like "you can do better"
...
"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A WHITE CHICK AS AN ASIAN GUY DAMNIT DAD!"
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Was waiting for your "result". Thats cool to hear. Maybe when your parents meet your GF in person, they may like her :D Happy birthday
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On October 04 2010 02:46 AssuredVacancy wrote:Show nested quote +On October 04 2010 02:37 AppleTart wrote: ...
They were more like "you can do better"
...
"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A WHITE CHICK AS AN ASIAN GUY DAMNIT DAD!"
I should have said this damnnit...
Thanks for the Bday wishes Caphe!
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On October 04 2010 03:01 AppleTart wrote:Show nested quote +On October 04 2010 02:46 AssuredVacancy wrote:On October 04 2010 02:37 AppleTart wrote: ...
They were more like "you can do better"
...
"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A WHITE CHICK AS AN ASIAN GUY DAMNIT DAD!" I should have said this damnnit... Thanks for the Bday wishes Caphe!
FWIW me and my lady are a 4 year age gap (well, 4 and a half). My neighbors are 42 and 48 so they are an even larger. Age gaps (imo) are one of those things that's personal. Some people think anything over 2 years apart is CRAZY. It's RIDICULOUS. It's Cradiculous?
Others, like myself, don't really care. It's all in the woman. (or man. )
Happy birthday, glad to hear things went well!
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She better not be a shitty artist now...
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wow 2 years and you're just now telling your parents?
but honestly if they are good parents and see how long you 2 have been together i highly doubt they'll reject her. but gl regardless
edit: whoops look like you already broke the news lolol
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On October 03 2010 12:27 zoLo wrote:This situation reminds me of this quote Show nested quote +Though all Asian kids are driven by their parents to be geniuses, of course, only a few of them are actually capable of being geniuses. Those that aren't live constantly under the vague impression that their parents wish their kids were better, while those who ARE, of course, live constantly under the vague impression that their parents believe they COULD be doing better.
Obviously such academic pressure leaves no time for a social life. Dating isn't mentioned in the Asian household, and girls only come up as a topic of discussion if they're horrifically smart and if your parents want to compare you to them. If dating is allowed, of course, the girlfriend must be Asian and must be smart (though not as smart as you, of course, as that would hurt the Family Honor). The end result is that Asian kids are disproportionately Book Smart over Street Smart. They can explain to you the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus but never grasp the fundamental rules of dating. Of course, there are Asian kids who don't listen to these parents. They might go out, switch girlfriends monthly like they're football players, and never study and always party. These kids are disowned and never mentioned to the relatives.
This trend continues into college somewhat, until about the age of 21 or so. By this point the Asian child's path in life is relatively clear, and the Asian parents begin the OTHER inevitable lines that every Asian child hears in their lifetime: "Why haven't you met a nice Chinese/Japanese/Korean/Vietnamese/ etc girl yet and given us grandchildren?" Asian parents are usually oblivious to the fact that they've systematically destroyed the social competence of their children, yet they expect them to be smooth maverick playboys as young adults, charming women all around. An Asian son who fails to maintain a steady girlfriend and fiancee faces increasingly irritating 'advice' on how to find women and insinuations that he might be gay. This vicious one-two punch of social emasculation and later social expectation pretty much means that the Asian son is under constant pressure from the time he enters grade school to the time he's produced grandchildren. My advice is to tell them and since you have been hiding it for 2 years, they might get pissed off by that. Their anger might or might not last too long, but who knows. Hopefully, they will be a little chill about it since you have been doing well in school while being in a relationship. I know that there are the stereotypes of Asian families, but not all of them are like that. Oh my god, I never thought of it this way. "You be genius now! Be playboy later with no experience with women then make me many grandchildren!"
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that's awesome that you finally told them. Don't worry about them disliking your g/fs passion, parents will bitch about anything you do/have no matter what, plus it lets them bitch what their good at.
On October 04 2010 02:37 AppleTart wrote: I will introduce my GF to them the next time she comes over. Thanks to everyone for their support! For shits and giggles try throwing this along with the introducing, preferably right after sitting down and before eating.
On October 02 2010 06:51 polgas wrote: 3. She's pregnant. Ahahaha, got you! She's not pregnant!
oh and see how long you can hold the silent pause.
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On October 03 2010 20:33 pred470r wrote: Put her in bikini and make her go inside a cake, then at the end of your dinner with them be like "Surprise I have a girlfriend"
First make sure his parents don't have heart problems. Then do it.
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Least she's not black. I wouldn't dare bring home a black girl to very Asian parents.
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On October 04 2010 02:37 AppleTart wrote: Well.... so I told my parents and actually was very surprised.... So the thing they were most concerned about was the age gap... she is 3 years younger than me. I was like well 3 years right isn't that bad. My parents said that they are okay as long as it's what I want, but they just told me like not to get too attached and just to be careful because once a relationship gets serious its a big part of my life (good or bad I suppose). They also said that they don't care about race, which relieved me. However, she is an art major which they were sorta meh about since they expect me to find a "smart" girl if I were to have a girlfriend. I dunno my parents just think art is a wash and that sciences or business is king. I just tried to explain to them that that's what she loves and although she may not be good at science or math shes a talented artist.
They were more like "you can do better" rather than like "omg wtf girlfriend you lied to us blah blah"
Regardless it went well and there was no fighting at all. I can't say they are like absolutely ecstatic, but I will say that our relationship is fine. After I told them they took me out to my birthday dinner and bought me a lot of chocolate and gummies, I know Im 22 but I still think candy is awesome. I will introduce my GF to them the next time she comes over. Thanks to everyone for their support! Nice, congrats and happy birthday!
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On October 04 2010 06:30 Kennelie wrote:that's awesome that you finally told them. Don't worry about them disliking your g/fs passion, parents will bitch about anything you do/have no matter what, plus it lets them bitch what their good at. Show nested quote +On October 04 2010 02:37 AppleTart wrote: I will introduce my GF to them the next time she comes over. Thanks to everyone for their support! For shits and giggles try throwing this along with the introducing, preferably right after sitting down and before eating. Show nested quote +On October 02 2010 06:51 polgas wrote: 3. She's pregnant. Ahahaha, got you! She's not pregnant!
oh and see how long you can hold the silent pause.
The trick is to time your "Ahaha got you!" just before your mom bursts in tears.
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GJ telling your parents. Just FYI, your parents will almost always think you can do better. My GF is probably the best girl I know (and this is very objective), and my parents still think I can do better....
It's pretty amazing that your parents are indifferent about her race though... (maybe they don't think you guys would get married?)
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Just leave a used condom in the exact center of the kitchen floor. Your mum will find it real quick. And then she'll go start rumors to her relatives, they will gossip to the cousins, etc, and then just make sure one of your lil cousins knows you have a white girl on the DL. Then just wait for your parents to have one of those long awkward silences at the dinner table, until your father slowly clears his throat, and then brings up something completely innocuous about basketball or your schoolwork. Then your mother will shoot him a look of daggers, slap her chopsticks down on the table, turn to glare at you, and then demand to know why it is you haven't told them about your WHITE girlfriend.
You will then bow your head in shame, mumble something about love, your GPA, and how your children will be beautiful. Your mother will start crying, your father will grumble that his tea has gone cold, and you will slink off to your room, feeling like a puppy just died in your stomach. Later that night your girlfriend will sext you, and you will tell her that it's all over, your parents have found out, and that you love her very much but it is going to have to be the end for now. A few hours after that, you will wake up alone, in the dark, with a raging boner, and you will sext back and forth with her until 5 am, which is when you will pass out from exhaustion as the first rays of twilight leak in through the window panes.
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On October 04 2010 11:10 StorkHwaiting wrote: Just leave a used condom in the exact center of the kitchen floor. Your mum will find it real quick. And then she'll go start rumors to her relatives, they will gossip to the cousins, etc, and then just make sure one of your lil cousins knows you have a white girl on the DL. Then just wait for your parents to have one of those long awkward silences at the dinner table, until your father slowly clears his throat, and then brings up something completely innocuous about basketball or your schoolwork. Then your mother will shoot him a look of daggers, slap her chopsticks down on the table, turn to glare at you, and then demand to know why it is you haven't told them about your WHITE girlfriend.
You will then bow your head in shame, mumble something about love, your GPA, and how your children will be beautiful. Your mother will start crying, your father will grumble that his tea has gone cold, and you will slink off to your room, feeling like a puppy just died in your stomach. Later that night your girlfriend will sext you, and you will tell her that it's all over, your parents have found out, and that you love her very much but it is going to have to be the end for now. A few hours after that, you will wake up alone, in the dark, with a raging boner, and you will sext back and forth with her until 5 am, which is when you will pass out from exhaustion as the first rays of twilight leak in through the window panes.
Im doing this
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^^ that's beautiful.
and WHAT ART MAJOR that's like 20x bigger than her being white. seriously. in context of asian parents anyways.
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On October 04 2010 09:33 Cambium wrote: It's pretty amazing that your parents are indifferent about her race though... (maybe they don't think you guys would get married?) yeah his parents are indifferent about race but they care what stream his gf is majoring in... I call bs.
If I know Asian culture, he wouldn't have been taken out for dinner if the girl was black lol
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You're 22, she's 3 years younger than you and you've been dating for 2 years. So she was 17 and you were 20 when you met? Age is kind of a big deal when you're both around that age. But you've been together for 2 years so far and it seems to be working and it can definitely keep working. Good job telling your parents, I'm glad it went well. Good luck to you!
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On October 04 2010 11:10 StorkHwaiting wrote: Just leave a used condom in the exact center of the kitchen floor. Your mum will find it real quick. And then she'll go start rumors to her relatives, they will gossip to the cousins, etc, and then just make sure one of your lil cousins knows you have a white girl on the DL. Then just wait for your parents to have one of those long awkward silences at the dinner table, until your father slowly clears his throat, and then brings up something completely innocuous about basketball or your schoolwork. Then your mother will shoot him a look of daggers, slap her chopsticks down on the table, turn to glare at you, and then demand to know why it is you haven't told them about your WHITE girlfriend.
You will then bow your head in shame, mumble something about love, your GPA, and how your children will be beautiful. Your mother will start crying, your father will grumble that his tea has gone cold, and you will slink off to your room, feeling like a puppy just died in your stomach. Later that night your girlfriend will sext you, and you will tell her that it's all over, your parents have found out, and that you love her very much but it is going to have to be the end for now. A few hours after that, you will wake up alone, in the dark, with a raging boner, and you will sext back and forth with her until 5 am, which is when you will pass out from exhaustion as the first rays of twilight leak in through the window panes.
LOOOOOOL
Btw, well done on talking to your parents, well done.
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