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GenesisX
Canada4267 Posts
On October 02 2010 06:09 travis wrote: yeah I agree with this guy just tell them already... His parents are asian. (Not being racist here, so are mine  )My parents say I should get a GF... rather than staying home all day. Anyways: I think you should say it in Chinese. They will take it better that way  | ||
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GreatFall
United States1061 Posts
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kingjames01
Canada1603 Posts
I'm a Chinese guy who is actually married to a Caucasian girl. We met in undergrad and after a few years started dating and we got married 2 years ago. I'd like to offer my perspective... First, I think that for non-Asians (by Asian, I mean Far East, since I'm not qualified to speak for all of Asia) to understand the Asian mind-set takes a lot of exposure. In my experience, North American Caucasians tend to believe that everyone in the world has similar values, thought processes, likes/dislikes, etc. This usually means that Caucasian advice to Asian friends is well-intended but not always useful in practice. Anyway, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm assuming that you're not living at home since you've had a girlfriend for 2 years. (Otherwise, you should apply to an intelligence agency and start your career there! =)!) In my experience, it is the fear of feeling as though you have let down your parents or having them express disappointment which usually holds Chinese children back from sharing good news. 1) Remember, this is GOOD NEWS, and you should be happy for yourself. Not telling your parents will probably tear you up inside if it goes on any longer so when you share it with them don't act ashamed or embarrassed. Be proud and even if it's hard, do it with confidence. You'll always remember the moment so you don't want to ruin it. 2) Your parents are proud of you and they want you to succeed. They only tell you scary stuff when you're young so you make good decisions. You've proven yourself already, and this is just one more thing to show them how successful you are. 3) It sucks but don't have her there. One wrong facial expression and your girlfriend might start to think bad things which will be really hard for her to forget. Introduce her next time but do it in a neutral environment like dim sum so that it's not awkward. 4) It won't go as bad as you fear. Your parents will like her if you like her. They'll even treat her better than they treat you. You'll see. =) Good luck! | ||
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Shana
Indonesia1814 Posts
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Meapak_Ziphh
United States6788 Posts
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FabledIntegral
United States9232 Posts
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AppleTart
United States1261 Posts
I think I will be okay I'm a lot more confident now. Thanks for all the comments everyone, you guys are right, shes too important for me to be a coward for any longer. I'm 22 now and I can handle a relationship while keeping grades up. The reason why I am always scared to tell my parents isn't because I'm afraid they will spank me or something... so for all of you saying like man up and stuff its not that. I'm scared because I want them to be happy and on good terms with me because if they got mad at me I would just feel like shit and I really don't feel like having a ridiculous argument with them. I'm well aware they can't really do anything, but they can certainly make me feel really shitty. Also the MAINNNN thing is I want them to accept her, even if I say fuck you and leave, I'll feel horrible that they wont accept us... and I know my gf will be sad too... I'm not controlled by my parents, I got a gf regardless of what they told me so I already sorta didn't care about what they said... but now that I want to tell them its a lot harder... Regardless, I'm tired of being scared now and I want to tell them about her. So in 2 hours when my mom gets back an we sit down to eat... time to tell... I'm just going to be direct lol. | ||
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Salv
Canada3083 Posts
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piroko139
United States261 Posts
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lololol
5198 Posts
What would you think if I had a girlfriend? What if I already had one for 2 years? What if there's actually no "if" in my previous questions? | ||
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Cirn9
1117 Posts
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AppleTart
United States1261 Posts
On October 02 2010 05:52 intrigue wrote: do you live at home? I live in my apartment near my college. My home is about an hour from there so I do come home on weekends to meet with my parents unless I have other plans. So we do see eachother fine and I visit her, but she's never been to my house or seen my parents before. We have traveled together and everything, but I always never told my parents the truth about when I went out on big trips. I would be like yeah I'm going out to this place this weekend with my friends blah blah, but in reality I would go see her or we would go out somewhere together. | ||
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Kennelie
United States2296 Posts
On October 02 2010 06:51 polgas wrote: 3. She's pregnant. Ahahaha, got you! She's not pregnant! | ||
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illu
Canada2531 Posts
On October 02 2010 09:45 Kennelie wrote: First inform them of your white girlfriend. Then when you physically introduce ur white girlfriend you tell them this I hope his dad won't get an heartattack upon hearing the first sentence. | ||
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CuteSmallHydra
Canada120 Posts
I'm white and was seeing an Asian girl this summer. She was terrified to tell her family about me. Four months into it she finally did. They told her to break off all contact with me. What did she do?Well, she broke off all contact with me. We haven't spoken since late August. That's worse case scenario right there. Tell your parents, but be man enough to make your own decision on who you want to be with in your life. If they tell you to break it off with this girl, and you actually listen to them, then I hope you get run over by a semi-truck. I'll never understand why some people just can't seem to stand up to their parents. It's your life you're living, not theirs. | ||
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Dfgj
Singapore5922 Posts
Just let them know that you're seeing someone, and decide after that how much information you want to add into that. See the above post: if they tell you what to do, remember that you're an adult and it's your call. There's a huge difference between respecting your parents and obeying them in everything. | ||
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AppleTart
United States1261 Posts
On October 02 2010 10:01 CuteSmallHydra wrote: Please grow a spine. I'm white and was seeing an Asian girl this summer. She was terrified to tell her family about me. Four months into it she finally did. They told her to break off all contact with me. What did she do?Well, she broke off all contact with me. We haven't spoken since late August. That's worse case scenario right there. Tell your parents, but be man enough to make your own decision on who you want to be with in your life. If they tell you to break it off with this girl, and you actually listen to them, then I hope you get run over by a semi-truck. I'll never understand why some people just can't seem to stand up to their parents. It's your life you're living, not theirs. I already went against my parents will because I love her I didn't let them control me and her dating at all. After this long I want them to accept her even if they don't I will still date her and hide it even if they forbid me, but they are my parents and I still want their acceptance. The girl you dated left you because she didn't have the courage to stand up after her parents forbade her, but I know my parents can't control me. I'm scared because if they don't accept it then I won't be on good terms with them and through thick and thin my parents have been there for me even though they disagree on certain things, they are my parents. In addition, I'm sure she wants to be accepted by my parents as well and I just wanted advice from people who may have been in similar situations. Depending on how I present this issue can change a lot. | ||
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zenMaster
Canada761 Posts
On October 02 2010 10:01 CuteSmallHydra wrote: Please grow a spine. I'm white and was seeing an Asian girl this summer. She was terrified to tell her family about me. Four months into it she finally did. They told her to break off all contact with me. What did she do?Well, she broke off all contact with me. We haven't spoken since late August. That's worse case scenario right there. Tell your parents, but be man enough to make your own decision on who you want to be with in your life. If they tell you to break it off with this girl, and you actually listen to them, then I hope you get run over by a semi-truck. I'll never understand why some people just can't seem to stand up to their parents. It's your life you're living, not theirs. Wow where do you live? China? Unless she is a fob, most parents of CBC girls in Canada I've met are pretty chill about stuff like this. | ||
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Caphe
Vietnam10817 Posts
If somehow they still dislike the idea you have a gf, I'd suggest you may want to hold if off and not telling them. God knows how your parents will react... All things aside, I'm very surprise that you live in the US and 22 and your parents forbid you from having a gf.... I introduced my first gf to my parents when I'm 17 and I live in Vietnam O_O. | ||
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Dfgj
Singapore5922 Posts
This is obviously not including those who have a relaxed attitude to intimacy and relationships in general, but the more conservative/sheltered type. | ||
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