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It was a balmy summer evening, it was getting cooler and my feet were getting sorer. I alternated between leaning against the brick wall of the electronic and appliance store and standing upright, allowing myself a commanding view over the swath of nerds behind me. The hours I had been waiting were soon to pay off; I'd pick up my pre-ordered collector's edition and be on my way. I did not doubt that the motley crew of dweebs, geeks and nerds before me were more committed than I as they chattered away about Dungeons and Dragons or something equally anathematic to the opposite sex. As I gave the burgeoning crowd behind me another cursory glance. I felt a tremor of pride as I realized that I alone would likely be responsible for the proliferation of the human race in the event of this pathetic sea of megavirgins ending up the last remnants of humanity by some cataclysmic twist of fate.
I have no doubt it was for this reason, in addition to my position in line that she chose me. Even suggesting she had a choice in the matter was giving this frothing line of despair far too much credit, but I've always had a generous side.
"Are all these people here for that new game?" she asked, feigning ignorance of why this mass of human awkwardness wrapped itself around the side of a building. It was a classic tactic to separate one from a group that you believe yourself socially a notch or two above. I saw right through it but I'd entertain her none the less, "it sure is" I responded, keeping my cards close to my chest.
A subtle girlish stamp of the foot, a pouting sigh "I really don't want to wait all the way at the end" she said, naturally leaving me an avenue to come up with a suggestion on her part, far be it for this prissy little thing to cut in line of her own accord.
"They're not gonna let you just cut in line" I told her. Angry nerds were vicious creatures, though scrawny of limb, they are truly savages, resorting to pulling of hair, to biting and scratching. "Maybe if you pretend to be my girl they won't mind so much"
Her eyes lit up under the glow of the outdoor lights, wasting no time in cuddling up next to me. I was welcome for the warmth of her slender figure; I slid my hand around her midsection the palm of my large man hands resting on her toned midsection. Her dark brown hair had a fruity scent as if she recently washed. In all it was not an unwelcome violation of my personal space at all. There were several askance looks from various nerds in front and behind us, and in true couple nature we shared laughs about them as the moon continued its ascent and we awaited the doors opening.
In what seemed like no time at all since her arrival, the sliding doors opened. A slow shuffle began as the line entered the store, hand in hand with the girl whose name I didn't know but played her part perfectly. It wasn't long before we stood before the cashier, his eyes covetously glued to the angelic smile of what was now my girl. But upon getting a better view of her myself under the store lights, I concluded that I couldn't blame him in the least, being a self admitted hard marker she was a 9 on my scale.
But our venture to claim His & Hers Collector's Editions of SC2 came to a halt. She hadn't pre ordered. I watched the cashier's heart break before my eyes as he relayed the information to 'my' girl, there were only enough collectors’ editions for pre orders. "I guess I'll try another store tomorrow" she said, her brilliant brown eyes looking like those of a wounded puppy.
To see this girl unhappy was, for any other man, to feel the urge to climb mountains and swim across oceans to get her what she wanted, but tonight it wasn't to be. We walked hand in hand to my car. I began to wonder when exactly the charade would end, we had accomplished all we set out to do after all. A large part of me wanted to go home and play my game, an even larger part of me wanted to re-enact what happened early beta when you told a spine crawler to attack a spore crawler, with our respective reproductive organs playing the part of the zerg defensive structures of course.
"Hey" she said "you should let me come over and unbox your game at least" a twinkle in those brown eyes. A blind man could have seen it was time to make a move. I told her that I was a fair man if I was anything, and that if she got to unbox something of mine I should get to unbox something of hers. A playful giggle from her and two car doors slamming shut marked my triumphant exit from the store parking lot.
Over a bottle of Calvados we did our respective unboxings and explorations. I won't bore you with the details, but amidst the contents of a Collector's Edition SC2 box we made passionate love, as though we were still a couple despite never knowing each others names. I could hear the crumpling of paper, the art book perhaps, but drunk on alcohol and lust I didn't care, at one point something hard was pressing into my back, I reached around to find the SC usb, teasing her glorious body with it, sanctifying it through our love making.
This morning I awoke alone, naked on my bed. She must have left during the night. I was too drunk to notice. I looked around my room, an empty bottle and my clothes strewn around, but no sign of her. I shrugged, it was perhaps better this way, I could play SC2 uninterrupted now. It was only then I realized she was not the only thing missing. She had taken it. I was enraged. I wanted to break things, to destroy something. I looked around for something, anything to break. My eyes settled on the night stand, where I saw the lone item from my collector's edition that she left behind for me. A guest pass, upon it the image of a terran marine, with a red lipstick kiss.
I sat on the bed, head buried in my hands, and I am not ashamed to admit I wept.
 
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wow...shes a good con artist...in all seriousness though...DAYUM YOU GOT PLAYED!...i hope u can manage to find another CE, or at least A copy of SC2 to play, ik youve probably been waiting for this for a while, and hey that guest pass should tide you over A day >.<
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Worth it no doubt in my mind
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Dude, you should write for a living 
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Vatican City State2594 Posts
You got fucked up son. By a nerdette at that. Or a girl who stole it for her boyfriend and didn't bother to preorder it. Either way, your fortitude to the female race is low. StarCraft 2 would have made an additional -2 for this effect. Think of yourself as fortunate - you can now go and similarly con females into taking something that belongs to THEM.
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On July 27 2010 23:12 Murderotica wrote:
You fucked up son. By a nerdette at that. Or a girl who stole it for her boyfriend and didn't bother to preorder it. Either way, your fortitude to the female race is low. StarCraft 2 would have made an additional -2 for this effect. Think of yourself as fortunate - you can now go and similarly con females into taking something that belongs to THEM.
LOL
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LOL getting drunk with some human you just met. Like playing TvP without getting any kind detection or mines.
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
On July 27 2010 22:58 floor exercise wrote:
"Maybe if you pretend to be my girl they won't mind so much"
Thats where i stopped reading. If this is true, then i have no sympathy im sorry.
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Or... maybe it's just a story. A good story though. I gave you five stars!
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Congrats on the sexual intercourse dude!
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Be careful with stories like these; I'm kind of falling in the same boat as Kennigit.
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On July 27 2010 23:19 Kennigit wrote:Show nested quote +On July 27 2010 22:58 floor exercise wrote:
"Maybe if you pretend to be my girl they won't mind so much"
Thats where i stopped reading. If this is true, then i have no sympathy im sorry.
yea he was asking for it, but not really knowing what he was getting himself into, it wouldve been better in his defense if she had been the one who initially set up the whole "pretending to be his girl" thing
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On July 27 2010 23:19 Kennigit wrote:Show nested quote +On July 27 2010 22:58 floor exercise wrote:
"Maybe if you pretend to be my girl they won't mind so much"
Thats where i stopped reading. If this is true, then i have no sympathy im sorry.
haha man clearly a story, especially considering where his location is and the current time 
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Wow... That's the worst. Well, I guess it was a cost/reward situation but interesting read.
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Yeah I'm pretty sure this is just supposed to be entertaining. And it is.
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On July 27 2010 23:30 dbizzle wrote:
100 dollar hooker
i agree.
you went out pretty cheap
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ha! fantastic story!i i could almost picture everything! you should start writing your own books!
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you should be glad nothing else what taken
could have seen this coming though, from what it sounds. sorry man.
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Why are people taking this seriously? There's no way this is true. Had a pretty funny ending, too.
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Yeah it's just a story I wasn't trying to make it sound believable.
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On July 27 2010 23:51 Redmark wrote:
Why are people taking this seriously? There's no way this is true. Had a pretty funny ending, too.
yeah no way some girl would fuck you for a video game
key words: girl, fuck, video game
really great read though. if i saw her, i'd punch her in the throat
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hahaha Sephy69.
I haven't slept all night (after having gotten my collector's edition and watching the Day[9] KotB, yayyy!!!) but this story was really entertaining and easy enough for my near-dead attention span at this point in time.
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Snet
United States3573 Posts
Haha, great story. "Let me unbox something of yours..."
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You showed her your phoenix micro didn't you.
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On July 28 2010 00:03 Xyik wrote:
You showed her your phoenix micro didn't you.
that was the deal sealer. lol
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Beautiful story. I had a tear in my eye reading it and saw the whole thing playing in front of my eyes. 5 stars.
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On July 28 2010 00:09 Golden Ghost wrote:
Beautiful story. I had a tear in my eye reading it and saw the whole thing playing in front of my eyes. 5 stars.
you did? you pervert you...
the story was pretty arousing though
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What can I say. I have a livid imagination :p
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What a good blog.
Made me laugh. Some people need to lighten up.
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On July 27 2010 23:14 exeexe wrote:
LOL getting drunk with some human you just met. Like playing TvP without getting any kind detection or mines.
soon, this sort of references will be too dated to be funny, but for the time being it works perfectly
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On July 28 2010 00:17 d_so wrote:Show nested quote +On July 27 2010 23:14 exeexe wrote:
LOL getting drunk with some human you just met. Like playing TvP without getting any kind detection or mines. soon, this sort of references will be too dated to be funny, but for the time being it works perfectly
its also like Flash's TvT used to be ^___^
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Good story, would read again.
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o one more thing: I hate it when people espouse the glories of "passionate" lovemaking; one-night stands aren't made for passion, it's to get some honey on your stinger and then gtfo
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On July 28 2010 00:02 Snet wrote:
Haha, great story. "Let me unbox something of yours..."
Yea, no starcraft nerd would have such talking skills on the spot.
I would have forgotten about her after she didn't get her copy and told her, "gg to you".
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every nerds fantasy? a girl sleeping with you to steal your game LOL
good writing skills, very entertaining :D
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On July 28 2010 00:19 thoraxe wrote:Show nested quote +On July 28 2010 00:02 Snet wrote:
Haha, great story. "Let me unbox something of yours..." Yea, no starcraft nerd would have such talking skills on the spot. I would have forgotten about her after she didn't get her copy and told her, "gg no re" .
fixed ^___^ but hey he DID score a $110 hooker (FOOLS YOU FORGET TAX AND PREORDER!!!)
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On July 28 2010 00:27 niteReloaded wrote:
Truth rating: 1/10
Were you similarly displeased to discover hobbits don't really exist
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Yeah, I'd rate the truth pretty low, too.
But the writing and entertainment pretty high, so it doesn't bother me that much. =D
Also, what do you mean "hobbits don't really exist"? O_o
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On July 28 2010 00:29 floor exercise wrote:Were you similarly displeased to discover hobbits don't really exist
no he just remembered "the hand of God"
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Good story, nicely presented.
Yea, it is believable, but I doubt it happened. Judging from the read, she's not a hardcore gamer. If she is willing to steal, why not steal more stuff in your house?
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Reward for reading/viewing my blog, first come first serve of course
+ Show Spoiler +
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epic story is epic.
'nuff said.
+10 manhood
-10 pride
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Goddammit you people claim that shit *fast.*
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lmao that is amazing. sorry about your copy of sc2 though 
hey, if it were me i'd shell out another $100 in a heartbeat anyway.
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I thought he made it pretty obvious just in the writing that it wasn't a real event. Interesting read nonetheless though.
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United States10328 Posts
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On July 28 2010 00:17 d_so wrote:Show nested quote +On July 27 2010 23:14 exeexe wrote:
LOL getting drunk with some human you just met. Like playing TvP without getting any kind detection or mines. soon, this sort of references will be too dated to be funny, but for the time being it works perfectly
No, it was really never funny in the first place. It doesn't even make sense.
I should have banling power to beat the stupid out of people making these lame 'jokes'
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These wow players are desperate for Thor pets.
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Well written, but probably not (all) true.
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Nice read man. I almost believed it. LOL
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He's gotta be a writer, haha
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That was pretty lame, but hey - look at it from the bright side: you got laid 
Sucks that she took your copy though, guess you have to buy a new one
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im amused so many people were willing to believe this
"i should get to unbox something of yours", LOL
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I knew it !
We can't trust any woman !
+ Show Spoiler +Joke
Really nice story thought ! Thx for sharing
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awesome read ! and if it's really true, though it hurts at the moment, i guess it was well worth it
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Hehe nice story
Gj
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On July 27 2010 23:19 Kennigit wrote:Show nested quote +On July 27 2010 22:58 floor exercise wrote:
"Maybe if you pretend to be my girl they won't mind so much"
Thats where i stopped reading. If this is true, then i have no sympathy im sorry.
Smae here -_-
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Very descriptive and cheesy. Also, no women would give herself up for a 100 dollar game if she is a 9 (unless your scale is very very borked).
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cool story bro (hope no1 has posted this yet)
never the less i voted 5/5
User was warned for this post
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On July 27 2010 23:19 Kennigit wrote:Show nested quote +On July 27 2010 22:58 floor exercise wrote:
"Maybe if you pretend to be my girl they won't mind so much"
Thats where i stopped reading. If this is true, then i have no sympathy im sorry.
well he is in luck...its not true ^___^, though its an interesting enough story to where plz dont ban him for lies ^___^ (like whatever his name was..who led Tl.net on w/some story about some korean chick w/300apm lol)
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![[image loading]](http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/152/82585227.jpg)
Should have posted your gift keys like this ^-^
Funny story, sadly I know friends that do similar things..
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I don't think this is a true story, but it was a very fun read nonetheless.
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Yeah. I took this a little too srsly. My angry goggles were on
Fun story, haha. Depending on the girl, I might have felt like I broke even! Getting erotic with the USB tags!
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If this is true then I would say bravo.
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hehe Fun read! Very descriptive I could visualize it
Loved the unboxing line , and working the collector edition USB into the sex scene... gold.
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Great writing...
I really enjoyed reading and it shortened my time waiting for sc2 to install. :D
You should really write more often...
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On July 28 2010 00:39 floor exercise wrote:Reward for reading/viewing my blog, first come first serve of course + Show Spoiler +
I'd bet my ass off these were used already when posted here
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On July 28 2010 04:47 JohannesH wrote:I'd bet my ass off these were used already when posted here
you must not value your ass very much!
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Entertaining Story =P
Fairly well written, and very relevant xD
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On July 28 2010 04:47 JohannesH wrote:I'd bet my ass off these were used already when posted here
If they were used it was in between the time I took the pictures and uploaded them to imgur.
Actually, I had to resize them, so I uploaded them twice in the span of about 30 seconds. It's doubtful someone was trolling imgurs latest images waiting for someone to take pictures of guest passes so they can jump all over them. But maybe.. if that's the case sorry. We'll never know though!
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Hahaha, I thoroughly enjoyed this. It was quite well written too.
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On July 28 2010 00:29 floor exercise wrote:Were you similarly displeased to discover hobbits don't really exist
Hahah oh wow
Very nice blog, so eloquent!
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sex with a 9 for a sc2 CE edition isn't that bad of a trade
that is unless you can't remember anything of the night, then lol
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Though very possibly fake, that was a sweet read, thanks ;D
I stopped taking it seriously right around where Kennigit stopped reading, but I still found it to be very enjoyable--awesome tongue-in-cheek narrative!
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EPT![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/BWbWX.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/nDaiH.jpg)
