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Smix
United States4549 Posts
On March 22 2010 17:15 11cc wrote:Show nested quote +On March 22 2010 15:25 Smix wrote:
Lol, I don't think you should word it the way zulu noted, but I do agree that a one-on-one would help. Once an opportune moment arrives (preferably alone, without others around you) just calmly tell him that you've been noticing him distancing himself from you and say that you'd appreciate it if he told you what's been bothering him. If he's mature and a good guy, he should take that chance to open up to you and hopefully you guys will be able to talk it out.
Being roommates with someone is always very trying in a relationship. If after that, he still refuses to talk to you about it, then I'd suggest just trying to move on from him as a friend. Doesn't mean you have to be antagonistic towards him but, if he really refuses to deal with the situation in a mature manner, it's definitely not worth investing too much into him as a friend. That sounds so painful... I think it's good to be mature and discuss things and all, but guys can't just "one-on-one" and discuss about the other one is "distancing" him. Just gonna be awkward as hell. And even worse if the word "relationship" comes up at some point oh god. Or maybe I'm just not mature enough I don't know.
I guess giving him space for some time is a better choice for now, but I was suggesting the one-on-one if things continued that way and he really wanted to try to amend things. Looking at the wording now I realize that would be very weird between two guys but that can be reworded so it's less awkward haha.
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lol let him do what he wants.
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On March 22 2010 15:57 scyper wrote:Show nested quote +On March 22 2010 15:09 Bibbit wrote:On March 22 2010 15:06 Luddite wrote:
How can you split up memorizing words? Don't you all have to memorize all the words, anyway? I assume they split up the task of writing down the definitions or whatever to make it easier to memorize after ^_^ Edit: But there is one thing I'm failing horribly to understand. Is your friend your roomate or does he live across campus? Yeah, I meant to split up the task of writing down the definitions. And we live in the same apartment near college. Back at our original homes, he lives 10 minutes away (away from my house + college.. so it is a waste of time for me to drive him home because I will pass my own house.. but I do it anyway). And I guess it is just he wants some time alone from me. I get.. close to people easily. I used to call him almost all the time when I'm off class and stuff. I guess he wants to do some stuff alone and stuff. I think I'll just let it go and do not engage him unless needed. Seriously.. I don't want to get close to anyone anymore. I get close too easily and whenever I open it, I act too immature and stupid around people I'm close with. I always wanted to have that one "bro" who like.. finishes my sentences. Like you know, always together and do shit and stuff. No homo. Oh well shit.
I was the exact same way. I discovered much later that most people don't deserve your opening up to them. I've learned to only get close to someone if they've earned that.
So anyway my advice is just to let him go and do your own thing. Trying to fix it, to make it work again, might make him resent you even more. In my situation I kept trying to hang around, trying to show them that I was a good friend... it led to much pain, backstabbing and ultimately an unrepairable relationship. Now I'm not saying that your friend is as much a piece of shit and would stoop to backstabbing, but I think it would be wise to just give him his space and his time. If he wants to chill again in a few months that's cool.
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United States22883 Posts
On March 22 2010 15:57 scyper wrote:Show nested quote +On March 22 2010 15:09 Bibbit wrote:On March 22 2010 15:06 Luddite wrote:
How can you split up memorizing words? Don't you all have to memorize all the words, anyway? I assume they split up the task of writing down the definitions or whatever to make it easier to memorize after ^_^ Edit: But there is one thing I'm failing horribly to understand. Is your friend your roomate or does he live across campus? Yeah, I meant to split up the task of writing down the definitions. And we live in the same apartment near college. Back at our original homes, he lives 10 minutes away (away from my house + college.. so it is a waste of time for me to drive him home because I will pass my own house.. but I do it anyway). And I guess it is just he wants some time alone from me. I get.. close to people easily. I used to call him almost all the time when I'm off class and stuff. I guess he wants to do some stuff alone and stuff. I think I'll just let it go and do not engage him unless needed. Seriously.. I don't want to get close to anyone anymore. I get close too easily and whenever I open it, I act too immature and stupid around people I'm close with. I always wanted to have that one "bro" who like.. finishes my sentences. Like you know, always together and do shit and stuff. No homo. Oh well shit. You remind me of someone.
![[image loading]](http://opiniones.terra.es/tmp/swotti/cacheDGHLIHRHBGVUDGVKIG1YIHJPCGXLEQ==RW50ZXJ0YWLUBWVUDC1NB3ZPZXM=/imgthe%20talented%20mr%20ripley6.jpg)
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diminishing returns. spending too long can be tiring.
on the side note my roomate and I do tons of stuff together, gym n jogging and cooking
he's bit boring sometimes but cool dood
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Yeah I can kinda see his point though, I mean I'm pretty close with my old roomate but there are lots of times when I avoid him just to get some quality alone time.
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I've ditched at least five people who've acted just like you. I've just disappeared completely and your friend is likely never to return your calls and block you on IM programs once you're no longer living together unless you stop "getting close".
Sort out whatever problems you have with your own family instead and your need to mancrush will end, hopefully.
He's not worth it anyways, he must be a retard since he thought sharing a flat with his middle school tag-along who calls him every day while he never calls would work, so don't waste your time on him.
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Dude you REALLY need to get a life outside of your house, your roommate has other shit going on and so should you. It's not normal to be following some dude around all the time. People get tired of eachother after spending all of their time together.
Seriously why the fuck are you still trying to hang out with someone who's actively avoiding you anyway? Get some friends who won't (and don't follow them around everywhere), stand up for yourself.
Also did you really just use the words 'no homo'? Only homos do that.
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Like I have said.. I have always wanted to have one of those "real bro" relationship where we're like best of friends and stuff. So I thought this was the one. I already have a girlfriend so there's no gay thing going on. I also have lots of stuff going on like work and this organization that I'm in. It's not like I'm with him all the time. I just don't get the fact why he would leave me out of a studying task like that when it would lessen his work. Thought that was real fucked up.
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OH man I just have to thank Jibba for that laugh.
My advice is that you have to just recognize when your roomie is in the mood to socialize with you and embrace and enjoy it. But more importantly you need to notice the hints he will inevitably give through his body language, and replies and stuff. It totally sounds like he's a bit sick of you tbh.
Also you can't just go at friendships like its shopping "this is the one" you have to be easy with it
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EPT
