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@UFO
I understand your view that sometimes parents don’t know whats best for their children. This is even more true today when a lot of parents don’t really understand the internet. At a certain point it’s up to the son to decide for himself what truth is based on what the parents say and information that he gathers from the real world.
Some other things I disagree with. Parents have a lot of rights over their children. They represent the closest relationships we have in this world and at the very least, they should be respected. Naturally, there are bad parents. . . But this doesn’t mean that all parents should be dismissed because of some idea that doing whatever feels good is worth more then what people around you think. Your roots should be with your family and close friends, and from there you can reach for other goals.
At a point in time a mutual respect will evolve and you can relate with your parents as adults. You’re suggesting that OP shouldn’t make decisions based on his family – but surely he should consideration for their thoughts. Firstly, they know a lot more about this world. And secondly, they want whats best for him. Sometime this can clash with what we want for ourselves – then we have to communicate that to them, or act in spite of that if we are certain about our action. But you should always have consideration for how your actions affect people around you. ESPECIALLY parents . . .
Think what would you truly want to do and how to live your life. From matters large to small. From matters of your future relationships, occupation to matters of when you go to sleep and how much time you spend before the monitor. These choices belong only to you. This is your birthright.
Its his birthright if he can support himself while doing this. If he can – great. But at one point he may want a girlfriend, and she might not like the idea of a bf in front of a monitor 4h a day. At that time you’ll have to consider changing. For someone else. Because you want them around. . .
To do that you will need to understand your situation in and out. You need to know exactly where are you standing, so you can adjust your actions precisely on fixing this situation. Like a chessmaster you want to look on the chessboard and pieces of your life with a sober, intelligent eye.
What about this life do you consider yours? Your language isn’t yours. Neither are your ideas.They have been around since long before you were born. And they have reached you through other people. They didn’t evolve in your brilliant mind. They came to you from other people. People you should consider when watching your life with that “sober, intelligent eye”.
- You are distancing from your mother - of course you do and its only natural . Especially when parents are so strict. Why would you want to contact your mother anymore .
Ending his relationship with his mother? Based on what – because they have rules? You don’t know anything about him, especially his age, and already you are talking about him breaking it off with his mother?
Have you tried living out in the real world? Good luck finding someone who cares about you even half as much as your mother. Try going to prison and see how many of your friends stay by your side. But mom is there no matter what. So show some respect.
@Art.Feel
Glad you liked my previous post. Best of luck in the future!
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I never meant ending my relationship with my mother, im just going to take as much space i need. I will still evaluate my parents opinions, its just that i wont listen to them blindly anymore
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Time to man up. That means fixing things with your professional, personal and family life. Don't just sit around whining about shit if you aren't in the wrong. Have those talks with your mom instead of avoiding her, tell her how you feel and how things have changed. Doesn't have to be bad, she's your mom and you owe her a lot; even if she has been controlling. Not kissing that girl when she was into you was a mistake, you must be assertive and confident and take her yourself. Highschool tests are easy as fuck, study for the 20 minutes it will take you to learn everything and then continue on with your day.
Its really only as hard as you make it on yourself
Edit: Emon's a beast. I completly agree with him. Family is vital. You've made no mention of your father, don't know what the background is on that but if your mom is alone and you are her only son you have a responsibility to her to take care of her. Not being effected by her sadness when she cries alone is a little rough. What are you trying to prove?
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i dont know what i am trying to prove, i have both mother and father. My father when i talk to him alone seems positive about having a girlfriend, he also asked me few times indirectly if i have one, but in front of mother he protects whatever she has to say and agrees with her. Im not so open with my father so i cant discuss these things with him.
I dont agree with that part about highschool studying. I study a lot more to mantain 95% percent A
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well i have one question regarding messages. I was on facebook then went to do something else and i didnt see that ''she'' messaged me. then after 15 minutes i see she asked me something and as i didnt respond she asked something like:''What, this question isnt on your level?''. We continued chatting and so on. But then when i went home from my prom party (i didnt accompany her home coz her friends were doing it) i messaged her if everything was ok and if she returned home safely. she didnt respond and i didnt do anything about it thinking it was part of the game. Then the next time as i had to return home earlier i did the same thing and said that i hope she would respond this time. she messaged me back saying:'' Oh im sleeping, you go sleep too''.
I mean is it normal to be so rude when asked politely if everything was ok? is this too part of the game? It doesnt bother me a lot but i gave it some thought thinking it wasnt fair from her. Another option could be that she is upset coz i didnt make the real move and she is thinking i dont like her. Duh...
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UFO had it by the right end when he hammered the point home that you've got to know where you stand in this world. It took me the better part of two years to get there myself. Once you know yourself, you've won half the battle, as Miyamoto Musashi writes.
Going further along those lines: Do you think yourself as sensitive? As reserved? As intelligent? Because that's what I kinda read in the question from your girlfriend "What, this question isnt on your level?" and how you care a lot about her wellbeing, and the way you express that. It is a bit unusual, at least in the country that I live, to message a friend if she's arrived home safely, in that situation. So her reaction, or lack there of, seems logical, since she might be a bit embarrassed or whatever. I do think that you did the right thing, there. It's really nice to send a couple of messages like that, and I'm sure that she'll appreciate it.
I'm working on assumptions here, but I guess there is a bit of a space, a gap between you and her. I don't know why, but if there is to be some kind of intimate relationship that you want to develop here, you'll have to get that out of the way. That'll probably take some time, to get used to her, and for her to get used to you. But, and I trust your judgement, if you believe that she's worth it, don't hesitate to really invest. Don't think about "the game" as anything more then the slow, awkward way in which people try to find the optimal distance between each other. Hopefully it will be a really close one for you two.
About your parents-situation. Family is incredibly important. There are no persons on the world that share that close a bond with you. However, at the same time, you can't choose them. Though it is absolutely possible to have a really great relation with your parents, sometimes it just doesn't work out. Differences in personality, but also in values, can make it for some people very difficult to even stay friends with their parents. You must see (just as with your girl) for yourself how close a relation is healthy with your mom and your dad. I think that you can do that better than your mother, at this moment.
Please take the time to do what UFO already encouraged you to do. Think about yourself. Learn your own values, your own limitations, your own potential. It is usually impossible for other people to do that for you, so it must come from yourself. You'll feel so much better, when you know why you do the things you do. 
And I love the chess comparison. 
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On January 25 2010 07:57 MisteR wrote:
Going further along those lines: Do you think yourself as sensitive? As reserved? As intelligent? Because that's what I kinda read in the question from your girlfriend "What, this question isnt on your level?" and how you care a lot about her wellbeing, and the way you express that. It is a bit unusual, at least in the country that I live, to message a friend if she's arrived home safely, in that situation. So her reaction, or lack there of, seems logical, since she might be a bit embarrassed or whatever. I do think that you did the right thing, there. It's really nice to send a couple of messages like that, and I'm sure that she'll appreciate it.
I'm working on assumptions here, but I guess there is a bit of a space, a gap between you and her. I don't know why, but if there is to be some kind of intimate relationship that you want to develop here, you'll have to get that out of the way. That'll probably take some time, to get used to her, and for her to get used to you. But, and I trust your judgement, if you believe that she's worth it, don't hesitate to really invest. Don't think about "the game" as anything more then the slow, awkward way in which people try to find the optimal distance between each other. Hopefully it will be a really close one for you two.
Well i can say that i am sensitive, coz i often get upset over some really not so big things, but im working hard to overcome it. I realized that few months back as a weakness in my everyday life, but also as something romantic when appropriate. As for the intelligence, i dont know, i guess im not stupid and i usually carry myself the way to communicate to others that they are dealing with someone who has brain.
When i first met her few months back, we were going to some language competition or whatever and we talked the whole hour while driving there. We talked about normal stuff as school, dreams, plans and so on, and she often told me how amazed she is at my intelligence.
About that part of worrying about her wellbeing, i just thought that by sending that message i would come as someone who is not needy, but cares about others (hell, a 17 years old girl going home at 5AM, anything can happen)..
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EPT
