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Relationship problem. - Page 2

Blogs > Deleted User 37864
Post a Reply
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Cambium
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States16368 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-12-27 10:20:31
December 27 2009 10:20 GMT
#21
On December 27 2009 19:04 deathgod6 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 27 2009 18:58 Cambium wrote:
Let me point out the elephant in the room: have you had sex yet?

First kiss, not first time.

e: quoting you for the fact, no directed at you

Then even if you are both Asian, there shouldn't be any guilt.
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
Silentness
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States2821 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-12-27 10:21:54
December 27 2009 10:20 GMT
#22
OMG noes you took her virginity... wait you took her first kiss? What the fuck are you serious? I am dying right now with laughter. How can you feel guilty about something so minuscule? If it's her first relationship she'll just have to deal with getting dumped. Shit happens... the world doesn't end if a relationship dies. There are plenty of women or guys in her case out there for her to be crying over one person.
GL HF... YOLO..lololollol.
johanes
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Czech Republic2231 Posts
December 27 2009 10:23 GMT
#23
You just dont love her anymore, end it. She will cry, then hate you, then you will both find someone more suitable. Are you 15 or something? + Show Spoiler +
I am with my gf for 3 years and probably loving her now more than ever before
Comeh
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States18919 Posts
December 27 2009 10:28 GMT
#24
On December 27 2009 18:04 Jibba wrote:
Let her handle The Situation, and the rest will play itself out.

I giggled.
Anyways, its worth sticking out with it for a little while. I honestly feel a relationship is as good as what you put into it. You have to put effort into a relationship and TRY to enjoy it to actually enjoy it. Its too easy to dwell on the small things, its better to dwell on the good things.
Anywho, as recommended by others - just try new things and try and keep being active (in as many ways as you can define this as possible) as you can.
ヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノDELETE ICEFROGヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(
Deleted User 37864
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
780 Posts
December 27 2009 10:31 GMT
#25
On December 27 2009 19:20 Cambium wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 27 2009 19:04 deathgod6 wrote:
On December 27 2009 18:58 Cambium wrote:
Let me point out the elephant in the room: have you had sex yet?

First kiss, not first time.

e: quoting you for the fact, no directed at you

Then even if you are both Asian, there shouldn't be any guilt.


okay we have gone further than that. but i dont want to say
ProbeSaturation
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada292 Posts
December 27 2009 10:42 GMT
#26
i think i can relate with you.

i broke up with my girlfriend, then after a couple months she started dating some other guy, and it really bothered me.
if you are positive that no feelings you have for her will linger on, then do it.
but ask yourself, if you can accept the fact that she may find someone else faster than you can
Patriot.dlk
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Sweden5462 Posts
December 27 2009 11:39 GMT
#27
If you didn't have sex with her then you should not abandon ship. Relationships with no sex are crippled. If sex is something you guys won't be having then abandon ship because;
a) She still got her innocence so you can still feel OK about breaking up
b) Your relationship will probably remain boring for you

If you had sex then you should experiment more. I mean I understand you don't want to buy her fingerwarmers but what about sexy underwear?
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States43664 Posts
December 27 2009 11:49 GMT
#28
Sex will guarantee you staying together for a while if you want that. If she's that afraid you'll leave her you'll effectively emotionally blackmail her into it and that will in turn guilt force you into staying with her. So have sex with her and it'll put off any real decisions for a year or so. Plus you get sex.
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
Slugbreath
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Sweden201 Posts
December 27 2009 11:52 GMT
#29
First of all, take advice given by people you do not know and over the internet with a pinch of salt.

That said, my advice would be to relax. It's impossible to try and force yourself to feel things and/or to make feelings stronger. There are ups and downs in every relationship and love changes with time.

It's not like love is a static thing where the way you feel on day one is the way you feel in year two. As people get to know eachother better the excitement does fade and is replaced by comfort. You know who she is and she knows who you is. It's a comfort to know that and makes life calmer.

So it is possible that your love towards her has changed form now that you have been together for a while and that this newer form might be something you aren't familiar with. It could, of course, also be so that your feelings have faded. It's impossible for anybody other than you to know.

But as stated before in this thread, try to do something different. Take her on a trip, go skiing, cook her a romantic dinner without telling her in advance. Something that takes you both out of the every-day-life.
Ao_Jun
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Denmark396 Posts
December 27 2009 11:56 GMT
#30
End it. There is no other way man. i've been in a very similar situation and from my experience you really just have to end it. And you have to make her understand that it's over so she can get over you.
you are one of the least benigtedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.
ReTrooper
Profile Joined February 2003
Germany526 Posts
December 27 2009 12:03 GMT
#31
Get a car. Run her over. THEN you can feel guilty.

But this is just pathetic.
De omnibus dubitandum.
minus_human
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
4784 Posts
December 27 2009 12:04 GMT
#32
On December 27 2009 20:49 KwarK wrote:
Sex will guarantee you staying together for a while if you want that. If she's that afraid you'll leave her you'll effectively emotionally blackmail her into it and that will in turn guilt force you into staying with her. So have sex with her and it'll put off any real decisions for a year or so. Plus you get sex.



LMAO genius!
IceCube
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Croatia1403 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-12-27 12:21:49
December 27 2009 12:09 GMT
#33
Dude, its your call. A bunch or rnd ppl over the internet won't do sheat for you or your guilt. Try talking to your friends which knows you both irl and getting advice from them, if you really need one.
That's your best bet.
Forever Vulture.. :(
JFKWT
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Singapore1442 Posts
December 27 2009 12:26 GMT
#34
On December 27 2009 21:04 minus_human wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 27 2009 20:49 KwarK wrote:
Sex will guarantee you staying together for a while if you want that. If she's that afraid you'll leave her you'll effectively emotionally blackmail her into it and that will in turn guilt force you into staying with her. So have sex with her and it'll put off any real decisions for a year or so. Plus you get sex.



LMAO genius!

ya know something supported by a subatomic particle and a semi-sapiens could just be questionable....

to OP: its a pretty common thing to lose the "spark" after a year or two so its pretty much up to either (or both) of you guys to reignite it or not.
+ Show Spoiler +
well sex is probably one of the fastest ways to do so but it may not be the safest =p
The calm before the storm / "loli is not a crime, but meganekko is the way to go!"
biomedical
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
235 Posts
December 27 2009 12:38 GMT
#35
just chill out
nothing is perfect
kdog3683
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
United States916 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-12-27 12:45:23
December 27 2009 12:43 GMT
#36
I can relate to what you were feeling on a micro scale. I'm with a girl right now who I met at a party. Our relationship is mostly physical. However, she is really in to me, whereas I am not with her. She is cute though and fun and even though I should tell her the truth that I am not very invested in her (I think she kind of knows, but lies to herself), I don't because I know I will miss it.

If I were you, I would just go with the flow. End on good terms. Tell her you love her, but you aren't in love anymore.

Also, people are saying to hold out for sex.
Please don't do this. I did this once. It just ended up hurting the girl because they can fucking see through your intentions.
Multiply your efforts.
Emon_
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
3925 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-12-27 12:46:03
December 27 2009 12:44 GMT
#37
Basically, you need to figure out what life holds for you. This means being around other people and being a part of society. But mostly hanging out with other friends and getting their feedback on jobs, girlfriends, school etc. So that you can grow with them. Sorta. Devoting this kind of attention to a relationship always ends the same.

You can't be a great thoughtful boyfriend on your own. I suggest you get your stuff together real fast, because you might lose her. She sounds like a real great girl too. And they don't come around too often.
"I know that human beings and fish can coexist peacefully" -GWB ||
Bebop Berserker
Profile Joined April 2009
United States246 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-12-27 13:08:15
December 27 2009 13:05 GMT
#38
Just to let you know, you may fall in love with her again if you break up with her and she gets a new bf or flirts or whatever. Its important you understand that you truly truly dont want her.l If you have no interest in her then you can't do anything except try to back off and have a more lax relationship. Relationships tend to get stagnant unless both members keep doing things outside the relationship. Anyways, just a warning there may be a role reversal if you dont make sure it ended the best way possible. and regrets are a bitch, my friend.

h and dont have sex for fucks sake. You will lose interest again in 3 months tops. Sex is good to have for intimacy, but definantly not good for forming the basis of a relationship.Plus, youll feel even worse progressing the relationship without any true intentions of a promise.
Whatever happens, happens.
johanes
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Czech Republic2231 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-12-27 13:17:47
December 27 2009 13:14 GMT
#39
On December 27 2009 22:05 Bebop Berserker wrote:
Just to let you know, you may fall in love with her again if you break up with her and she gets a new bf or flirts or whatever. Its important you understand that you truly truly dont want her.l If you have no interest in her then you can't do anything except try to back off and have a more lax relationship. Relationships tend to get stagnant unless both members keep doing things outside the relationship. Anyways, just a warning there may be a role reversal if you dont make sure it ended the best way possible. and regrets are a bitch, my friend.

h and dont have sex for fucks sake. You will lose interest again in 3 months tops. Sex is good to have for intimacy, but definantly not good for forming the basis of a relationship.Plus, youll feel even worse progressing the relationship without any true intentions of a promise.

i dont agree with sex not being good for the basis of relationships, it is its vital part. You cant have completely fulfilling relationship with omitting something as important as sex. Im not try to say that love is sex, but that sex is importatnt part of love and thus imortant part of relationship.

There this popular saying: If everything is ok with sex, 10% of relationship is about sex. If there is a problem with sex, 90% of relationship revolves aroud it
Bebop Berserker
Profile Joined April 2009
United States246 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-12-27 13:17:13
December 27 2009 13:16 GMT
#40
On December 27 2009 22:14 johanes wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 27 2009 22:05 Bebop Berserker wrote:
Just to let you know, you may fall in love with her again if you break up with her and she gets a new bf or flirts or whatever. Its important you understand that you truly truly dont want her.l If you have no interest in her then you can't do anything except try to back off and have a more lax relationship. Relationships tend to get stagnant unless both members keep doing things outside the relationship. Anyways, just a warning there may be a role reversal if you dont make sure it ended the best way possible. and regrets are a bitch, my friend.

h and dont have sex for fucks sake. You will lose interest again in 3 months tops. Sex is good to have for intimacy, but definantly not good for forming the basis of a relationship.Plus, youll feel even worse progressing the relationship without any true intentions of a promise.

i dont agree with sex not being good for the basis of relationships, it is its vital part. You cant have completely fulfilling relationship with omitting something as important as sex. Im not try to say that love is sex, but that sex is importatnt part of love and thus imortant part of relationship.

if you think you cant have a fulfilling relationship without sex, your probably mentally handicapped.
Whatever happens, happens.
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