My first CW Ever (A Battle Report)

He spawns in the cowardly shade of yellow at top right, and I spawn at the bottom right in manly teal. I guess I was nervous or something, because I split three drones to the same mineral patch.



I decide to see if I can pull off some cheese, so I open overpool speed and kill the scouting probe. Unfortunately, I’m not too comfortable with cheese, so I don’t really commit to zerglings, and have about twelve when he sends his second probe that somehow ninjas its way past my zergling spread that’s actually busy checking for ninja probes.


Well, I figure it’s too late to cheese now, since his sim city is nice and tight, so I knuckle down and drone whore. Considering that the map is Andromeda, and it’s really important for the Zerg to take his third gas, I probably should have gotten a faster natural gas and opted for either faster Lurkers or Mutalisks, but I was starving for money after that half-assed build, and I hadn’t done 5hatch hydra in ages, so I decided to give it a shot again. Minutes later, he pushes out with four zealots and two dark templar, which manage to sneak behind my sunken colony-less, six hydra defense.



After the DTs wreaked havoc on my mineral lines and sniped a spawning pool, I decide to switch to mutalisks. However, the lack of a third gas makes this much less effective. I attempt to rectify this by starting a gas expo at the bottom left, but cancel it as he moves out with an intimidating zealot/archon/templar army. Being a true man, I attack his army head on…





He comes again to snipe my morphing gas expo with a raid group of zealots, meanwhile adding some goons to his army mix. The funny thing is, his 4th base comes up before mine, pretty much, along with my lack of upgrades, sealing the game.



And then, adding insult to injury, this happens…



He decides to put me out of my misery and land the finishing blow. Being a true man, I meet my fate head on.

So I come back to the channel and report a disappointing 0-1 start. My clan leader is supportive, regardless. “You can do it! I believe in you!” He sounds just like the Hite coach pep-talking YarnC before sending him to the slaughter against Jaedong. Anyways, I choose Destination as the next map, since it’s my most comfortable ZvP map. This time, there’s no cheese for me as I open overpool to 3hatch lair, and he opts for a standard forge FE. I notice his gas timing is pretty late, so I expect an early speedzeal attack and put up some impromptu walls. Indeed, as I check back a few minutes later, he’s got nine zealots armed and rearing to go.



But maybe this guy mind controlled a medic, because my zerglings, obviously blind, miss the zealots as they head out towards my nat. I manage to hold, but just barely, thanks to my sexy wall, while losing as many drones as he lost zealots in the process.





I take a faster 2nd and 3rd gas for mutas, and decide to go suicide them at his main as he likewise suicides some dark templar at my 3rd. Since I apparently don’t like my mutalisks all too much, I decide to kill off the rest attacking one of his archons as he moves out to my third. Fortunately, thanks to an early lurker aspect and yet another sexy wall, I didn’t get completely run over, but he managed to snipe my mining hatchery at my 3rd.



I just shrug it off and remember Luxury vs Jangbi on the same map, switch over to hydralurk drops, and move out to attempt a contain and deny his third. Unfortunately, both fail, and his 30 supply larger ball of death comes marching towards my base. The game seems pretty much decided, and, like all true men, I brace up for my last stand. But, lo and behold, he doesn’t have storm, and I snipe all of his templar, as well as a good portion of his army.



So now, I have this fucking huge hydralurk army chilling in the middle of the map, so I figure it’s a good time to doom drop his ass, followed by a hydra break on his third.




By now, the supply balance is slowly shifting in my favor, and he’s back on two gas, so he tries to take another third. However, manly men with fucking huge armies don’t allow for such nonsense, so I hydra drop his main again while killing his warping in third. He’s left with pretty much no probes and a puny 90 supply army, so he taps out.

I head back to the channel and report my win, where fellow clanmate and TL’s resident mapmaker Nightmarjoo happily informs me that everyone else finished their games already, and that my last game would be the deciding game of the match – no pressure or anything. “Well, fuck,” I’m thinking, seeing as how I was absolutely humiliated the first game, and should have lost the second as well. (Later, Nightmarjoo messaged me saying that that game would actually only decide if it came down to an ace match or not, where he and my current Protossy opponent would supposedly face off.) My opponent picks Destination as the final destination for our epic battle, which was bound to be legendary. This time, we reverse spawning positions, and my clanmates busily message me words of encouragement. “It’s an awesome ZvP map.” “You can do it!” “Go kick his ass!” I decide to take a page out of all those cheesy Zergs’ books and mine out his back while going overpool speed. Unfortunately, I realize that I don’t know when to send my drone out, so I end up just doing a normal speed build. It’s very possible that my opponent is (a very drunk) Bisu, because he somehow sneaks another probe into my base and verifies that I’m not going all-in. Again, I see a late second gas, so I plop down my buildings in a semi-haphazard wall in case he goes speedzeals. I decide to open mutas, and put down a faster second gas. He sends a DT to snipe some drones at my third before running away as I hide my mutas from prying eyes. Having only built one corsair and one cannon, he’s caught with his pants down as seven mutas and a pair of scourge enter his base. They don’t end up doing too much damage – that is, until I gather more and harass again. The following is what can only be described as complete rape, as he decides to forgo corsairs and defend with an archon and two dragoons.






At this point, I’m 14 supply ahead, and he has approximately twenty probes, so I decide to go with the ridiculously annoying contain across the bridges at his natural. I end up accidentally sending those heroic mutas to their deaths trying to snipe his templar (oops), but it matters not – I still have a decent supply advantage. He then proceeds to mine out his back and take his min only. Sensing vulnerability, I attack his natural, but, being of that oh so magical Korean race, he had the ESP/maphacks to bring his army back to his natural and defend even before I began my attack. Then, falsely sensing vulnerability, he stupidly suicides his “ball” across the infernal bridges to be eaten up by my 30 supply larger army.







Meanwhile, I deny his min-only, so he decides to go for gusto, and like Napoleon to Russia’s winter, decides to attack across the bridges again. Unsurpisingly, this fails, and I break his nat.