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Ok, so I need a little help with life right now.
I just started my first week at a new college and I'm still in the process of finding like my *niche* group of friends here. I've made a lot of individual friends here, and I'm cool with all my roommates, but it's getting to the point where most people are starting to settle into little cliques that I'm not a part of. So this weekend, I'm stuck hanging out with people I met at the school I transferred from... which is cool, but I'm also eager to start hanging with some new people.
Anyway, it's friday night and I have no plans with *real* friends, so I'm thinking about biting the bullet and hitting up some frat parties with the roommates. I'm hesitant tho, coz that really isn't my kind of scene, and the people there probably wouldn't be the kind of people I'd really enjoy hanging out with or feel comfortable with.
So ya, I'm feeling kinda lonely and discouraged here. These kind of transitions are really alien to me... the last 6 years my circle of friends have pretty much been the same people coz I went to community college.
So what do you think? Does anyone have experience with the berkeley party scene that can clue me in? Am I likely to have a good time at this kind of thing? How did you find your *clique* of friends in college? Anyone at berkeley wanna hang out, kick my ass in starcraft  ?
 
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Calgary26003 Posts
If your friends are doing stuff, and you have nothing to do, do stuff with them.
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Where do you live and what's your major?
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I would say go to the frat parties. If you don't like, don't go the next time.
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If you have more than one friend, that friend probably has a friend who isn't you. Leapfrog that shit.
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Why do you feel the need to find a clique in college? :S That seems pretty high-schoolish. Just hang out with whoever you want.
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It's perfectly acceptable to go around the 1st week (even the 1st month) of college shaking hands, introducing yourself to everyone, and making small talk everywhere. Eventually you establish a net of brief acquaintances that you can sit down with again for lunch or dinner - after that, you end up discovering you actually like some of them.
Or at least, that's how it worked at my school. Berkeley might be different since it's noticeably larger than mine - but it can't hurt to say hi, naturally and casually, to new people.
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United States22883 Posts
No idea what it's like at Berkeley, but my experience is that frat parties are fucking stupid. Too noisy, too cramped and too many super obnoxious people. I think you're better off just hanging out with your friends and trying to meet new people through clubs and organizations. House parties >>> frat parties.
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main advice to you is to go to the cafeteria or som3e gathering place, find a girl and ask her about said party(ies) and see what she thinks (explain your situation its a good opener even if your not trying to game her). A few things will happen, 1) She will know of it and you can go to the party with her and have a gay old time. 2) She will not know and you can invite her and " " , 3) She will know of a better party, and you can go to that with her, 4) Fuck the party, set up a date with her instead.
When all is said and done, you have a new friend/gf and possible party hookup.
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Being worried about cliques and "belonging" to a group...is so not college. You need to just get out there and do whatever the hell you want. Experiment socially and see where it takes you. I don't have a set 'group' of people to hang out with. I just chill with people i like, whether it's 1 person or 10 people. I'd suggest hitting up those frat parties, sounds like fun.
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On August 29 2009 07:09 CharlieMurphy wrote:
main advice to you is to go to the cafeteria or som3e gathering place, find a girl and ask her about said party(ies) and see what she thinks (explain your situation its a good opener even if your not trying to game her). A few things will happen, 1) She will know of it and you can go to the party with her and have a gay old time. 2) She will not know and you can invite her and " " , 3) She will know of a better party, and you can go to that with her, 4) Fuck the party, set up a date with her instead.
When all is said and done, you have a new friend/gf and possible party hookup.
that's uh
sorta creepy
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just get drunk, the ones who dont make fun of you the next day are your true friends
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United States3824 Posts
If its not your thing then its not your thing. If it sucks then leave. Its not like you have to pledge
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I'm going to assume you are a typical asian so you probably wouldn't like the frat crowd. There is a lot of social pressure and it is rather damaging on the ego to hide in your dorm room on a friday night, but there's not really much you can do. Given that your posting for help, I really have a feeling you'd feel more socially awkward @ the frat party.
Also. At least at my school ( maybe not berkeley ) , cool frats don't let strangers come, and less cool frats make you pay 10$ to go in. I'm sure your school has a asian / afghanistan student association. I think you'll make more friends there. Or if you get to know some frat boys, they'll naturally ask you to go to their rocking ass parties.
Just curious , how is the reputation of lambda phi epsilon @ berkeley
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On August 29 2009 07:16 paper wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2009 07:09 CharlieMurphy wrote:
main advice to you is to go to the cafeteria or som3e gathering place, find a girl and ask her about said party(ies) and see what she thinks (explain your situation its a good opener even if your not trying to game her). A few things will happen, 1) She will know of it and you can go to the party with her and have a gay old time. 2) She will not know and you can invite her and " " , 3) She will know of a better party, and you can go to that with her, 4) Fuck the party, set up a date with her instead.
When all is said and done, you have a new friend/gf and possible party hookup. that's uh sorta creepy
how is that creepy? just walk up to a girl who's not really busy, or going through a food line, hop in line with her, and say "hey I got a question/dilemma, maybe you can help me with it?" and so on. Then introduce yourself if the conversation is going well.
Obviously, I skipped all the specific details of small talk included in each of the 4 (maybe more possibilities), obviously your not gonna go "hey do you know about this party?" and if she says yes you're not gonna go "OK COOL IM COMING WITH YOU" although, that might actually work as cocky funny.
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On August 29 2009 07:24 kdog3683 wrote:
I'm going to assume you are a typical asian so you probably wouldn't like the frat crowd. There is a lot of social pressure and it is rather damaging on the ego to hide in your dorm room on a friday night, but there's not really much you can do. Given that your posting for help, I really have a feeling you'd feel more socially awkward @ the frat party.
Also. At least at my school ( maybe not berkeley ) , cool frats don't let strangers come, and less cool frats make you pay 10$ to go in. I'm sure your school has a asian / afghanistan student association. I think you'll make more friends there. Or if you get to know some frat boys, they'll naturally ask you to go to their rocking ass parties.
Just curious , how is the reputation of lambda phi epsilon @ berkeley
thanks for the pointers
also, no idea about LPE.
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if ur in berk, call me up. we can all lan.
pm me.
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On August 29 2009 07:25 CharlieMurphy wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2009 07:16 paper wrote:On August 29 2009 07:09 CharlieMurphy wrote:
main advice to you is to go to the cafeteria or som3e gathering place, find a girl and ask her about said party(ies) and see what she thinks (explain your situation its a good opener even if your not trying to game her). A few things will happen, 1) She will know of it and you can go to the party with her and have a gay old time. 2) She will not know and you can invite her and " " , 3) She will know of a better party, and you can go to that with her, 4) Fuck the party, set up a date with her instead.
When all is said and done, you have a new friend/gf and possible party hookup. that's uh sorta creepy how is that creepy? just walk up to a girl who's not really busy, or going through a food line, hop in line with her, and say "hey I got a question/dilemma, maybe you can help me with it?" and so on. Then introduce yourself if the conversation is going well. Obviously, I skipped all the specific details of small talk included in each of the 4 (maybe more possibilities), obviously your not gonna go "hey do you know about this party?" and if she says yes you're not gonna go "OK COOL IM COMING WITH YOU" although, that might actually work as cocky funny.
Yeah I don't think it's creepy @ all. Just a way to meet a girl.
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EPT
